To What Is He Pertaining?
Bronson Pinchot, With a Twist

Written by: Paul Rudnick
Photo by: Bonnie Schiffman

Bronson Pinchot auditioned for a play I wrote, Poor Little Lambs.  The role called for a nerdy, officious type; during the course of the audition, Bronson pulled a clipboard, a baseball cap, and a pitch pipe from his pants -- not from his pockets, from his pants.

Bronson got the part, and never ceased to inspire.  One scene called for drag; by the second day of rehearsal, he had purchased a smart shirtwaist, at a thrift shop, and a memorable lizard purse.  Eventually, in his coiled wig and support hose, Bronson came to resemble an Armenian widow, and he insisted that everyone call him "Lydia."

Since then, Bronson has appeared in Risky Business, The Flamingo Kid, and, most amazingly, Beverly Hills Cop, where we walked off with the picture by being the sole cast member who didn't seem to have wandered in from a particularly dim-witted episode of T.J. Hooker.  Now Bronson is soaring; he appears on NBC's Sara, he uses Sylvester Stallone's hair person, and he has just been titled a "Gorgeous Guy" by Teen Machine magazine.

Bronson is a sublime comic actor, and a cruel mimic.  I have heard Bronson sing "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" in perfect Cher; I have seen him destroy an audience simply by wearing a beret and carrying a carton of chocolate milk onstage.  I have watched secretaries melt at Bronson's approach; I have seen Bronson dance the role of Romeo on Columbus Avenue as if choreographed by Balanchine.  Bronson will be a huge star; his range and risks are unlimited.  No wonder Eddie Murphy has bodyguards.