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Written by:
Cousin Crystal Hill
Larry
came down the stairs still rubbing a towel over his damp hair. The quick
shower had felt good. He had donned his casual clothes and no longer
smelled like garbage. His tux, on the other hand, couldn't be saved.
Balki and Mary Anne, the happily married couple as of three hours, were standing
beside the door next to a pile of suitcases, the majority of which were Mary
Anne's. The newlyweds were all packed and ready for their honeymoon on
Mypos.
Jennifer and Mary Anne were talking excitedly. Balki stood by and just
listened, which Larry thought was rather odd behavior for his overly talkative
cousin.
"They're all ready to go." Jennifer announced as her husband
approached.
"This is going to be so much fun!" Mary Anne squeaked.
"Here,let me help you with those." Larry offered, reaching down
for one of the suitcases, but found he could barely lift it. The weight
nearly dislocated his shoulder. "What's in here!?"
"Be careful with that!" Mary Anne warned worriedly.
"My makeup is in there."
Half an hour later all the luggage was out of the house and Larry, Balki and
Mary Anne stood just inside the door watching Jennifer rearrange everything.
She had all the bags back out and was attempting to put them back in the car in
an order that 'made sense'.
Balki turned to his new bride and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.
"Mary Anne, do you mind helping Jennifer. I need to talk to Cousin
Larry for a moment."
She thought about it for a second than smiled indulgently. "Well, okay.
But don't be long."
"I'll be counting the seconds, my little lamb kabob."
With that assurance she skipped down the steps to join her friend.
Balki grabbed Larry's hand and led him into the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" Larry asked in growing confusion.
Balki shrugged one shoulder uncomfortably. "How...um...how's your
head?"
Larry reached back, touched the back of his head and winced. "It's
fine." He lied. The place where Balki had bashed the pot over his
head still smarted.
"Sorry about that."
Larry dismissed it with a wave of his hand. "You didn't drag me all
the way back here to ask about the bump on my head did you?"
"No." Balki bowed his head and stared at his shoes for a long time.
"Cousin, I...I feel awful."
Larry's eyebrows raised. "Well it's a little late to get cold feet
now."
"No. My feet are fine."
He placed a friendly hand on the newlywed's shoulder. "That's not what I
meant. Don't worry, Balki. Mary Anne is a wonderful girl. You two
were made for each other."
Balki shook his head with a sad sigh. "I don't mean I feel bad about that.
I mean I am ashamed of myself."
Larry donned a confused frown. "Ashamed? Why?"
"I am so sorry, cousin." Balki's large brown eyes, so full of
remorse began to rim with tears.
Larry was now completely at a loss. "Sorry? For what?"
''For what?" Balki's jaw dropped in disbelief. "First of all I lied
to you. I told you that it was the piggliwigliki's job to guard the
marryage necklace when in fact he..."
Larry gave Balki a lopsided grin. "I know, 'walks the groom up the aisle
then does absolutely nothing."
"There were better ways to cheer you up than coming up with a big fat lie.
I...I don' know what came above me."
"You were just trying to make me feel better." Larry gave s
small chuckle. "And it worked for awhile."
Balki shook his head again. "But it was still wrong!" He
gestured expansively in growing frustration. "And when you lose the
Bitatatoutata Ratatatoulle I should have saw it as the pit opening up for me
because of that lie. But what do I do?" His hands balled into
fists and his voice rose an octave as if he was ready to cry. "I lose
my temper at you. And over an accident!!" He brought a
hand up to the bridge of his nose. "I should not have been angry with
you. You don't mean to lose the Bitatatoutata Ratatatoulle.
And you wouldn't have had it in the first place if I don't lie to you."
Larry was both startled and moved by the heart felt apology. He put a
comforting arm around his cousin who was now trying to wipe stray tears from his
face. "Balki, Balki, Balki, I'm not angry with you."
"You have every right to be."
"Well I'm not. Balki, everyone loses it sometimes. Especially
when they're under stress. And your wedding is one of the most stressful
times in a man's life."
"I was so worried that we wouldn't find the Bitatatoutata Ratatatoulle and
the marryage would be doomed."
"And that's perfectly understandable. Like I said, stress like that
can make anyone act crazy. I mean, look at me. Even I've lost my temper once or
twice." He didn't have to wait for Balki to catch the understatement.
The Mypiot allowed himself a small chuckle through the still falling tears.
"You know what your problem is, Buddy?" Larry gave his best friend a
brisk slap on the back. "I'm rubbing off on you."
Balki laughed harder as the tears slowed to a stop. "If..." He paused
to sniff. "...if I ever start saying 'I have a plan' shoot me."
"I'll remember that. Now, I want you to walk out that door, go to
Mypos and forget about everything but having a great honeymoon."
"I know we'll only be gone a short time but I'm gonna miss you,
Cousin." He gave Larry a warm hug.
"No you won't." Larry said as they broke the embrace. "You'll be too busy showing your bride how to milk goats and sheer
sheep."
"Oh, Cousin. You know me too well!"
"And..." Larry continued as they headed toward the front door.
"...while you two are enjoying the finer things in life Jennifer and I will
have the house all to ourselves." He elbowed Balki in the ribs with a
you-get-my-drift look. Balki replied with a knowing laugh.
After this went on for a few seconds Balki stopped and asked: "You are
getting out the big jigsaw puzzle, hoh?"
Larry stared at his cousin for a long moment, then finally said. "Yes, yes
we are."
THE END