Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 99 - The Break Up

First Air Date: October 12, 1990
Filming Date: August 29, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 12.8 HH

Co-Producer: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Terry Hart
Directed by: James O’Keefe

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne

Guest Cast:
David Sederholm: Bill Madden
Brian Carpenter: The Maitre d’

Dimitri Appearances: The photo of Dimitri which was seen earlier this season in the kitchen can now be seen on the bookcase.

Balki-isms:
"Nineties?  I would have guessed late twenties, tops."
"I know I’m just a simple Mypiot boy and I may never be a man in my Nikes . . . "
"Cousin, enough is too much . . . "
"It’s the bottom of the ninth, two outs, the bases are loaded and you’ve got two strikes against you.  Cousin, it’s time to kick it through the uprights!"

Don’t be ridiculous: Not said in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Oh, go on with you . . . "
"Oh my Lord!"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry tries to dunk a cookie into his coffee and then eat it without success
Balki mumbles and complains in Myposian
Balki offers up a saying in Myposian then translates it into English for Larry
Larry repeatedly asks Balki if he is something, to which Balki scoffs until he finally answers
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt
Larry uses Wayne Newton to distract Balki
Balki tries to say something but is repeatedly interrupted, this time by Jennifer
A joke is made about Larry’s height

Notable Moment: Larry and Jennifer become engaged.

Interesting facts:
- This was actually the 100^th episode filmed, but would be the 99^th episode to air.  According to USA Today, there was a cast party at a Greek restaurant which included a five foot cake in the shape of the Statue of Liberty.  The production schedule for the episode shows that a party was held on the soundstage after the filming was done.  At the filming, we were told that they'd had the dinner before the filming (although in our records it says it was a steak and lobster dinner) and that they had cake afterward.
- This was only second time we had seen the girls apartment.  The rainbow wallpaper was different this time, running horizontal instead of diagonal.  It appears they did finally discontinue that original pattern.
- There are pictures of both Larry and Balki sitting behind the couch in the girls’ apartment, both of which are actually promotional shots from the show’s publicity department.  It’s interesting to note that the guys don’t have photos of the girls in the living room of their apartment, though.- Balki had been cooking since the beginning of the series but  this was the first time it was ever implied that he was taking actual cooking classes.  This would tie-in when later he began running a catering business.  It isn’t known if the writers were thinking of eventually making Balki’s culinary skills his prime occupation, but of course he ended up becoming a cartoonist and editor instead.
- The establishing shot of the restaurant is the same as used in previous episodes with a different name superimposed over the awnings.  You may remember it as Edwards in the episode Karate Kids.
- Once again Balki gets to speak in a Californian accent, reminiscent of his cousin Bartok.
- When Balki says, "My mama done told me . . . " he’s borrowing a line from a classic American song entitled "Blues in the Night," written for a film of the same name in 1941.
- This was one of the first television appearances for Brian Carpenter, who played the Maitre d’ in this episode.  He has since gone on to appear in many shows, including Babylon 5, Chicago Hope, Roswell, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman, Beverly Hills 90210 and Desperate Housewives. You can visit his official site by clicking here.
- David Sederholm, who played Jennifer’s old college beau Bill Madden, was once a regular on the daytime serial, Ryan’s Hope.  He seemed to carve out a niche as playing a handsome date or rich guy on various shows over the years, including Friends where in one episode he played the guy in the coma that both Phoebe and Monica yearn for.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- When Larry is proposing he makes a point of saying he wanted to tell Jennifer he loved her since the first time he saw her in the health club.  But if you’ll think back to the episode Hunks Like Us you’ll remember that Larry first saw (and lusted after) Jennifer at the Ritz Discount store when she came in to find Balki to have him sign his membership application to the health club.

Synopsis:
The episode begins in the apartment.  Larry is sitting at the counter, carefully dunking a cookie into his cup of coffee.  Balki enters through the front door wearing a chef’s uniform.  "Cousin!  Cousin!" he says excitedly, dropping his jacket onto the couch and running to the counter while carrying a foil-covered glass casserole pan.  Balki takes the cookie from Larry’s hand and throws it across the room, then holds the pan out to Larry, peeling back the foil.  "Try . . . try this!  I made it in my cooking class.  Everybody loved it."  "Egg rolls?" Larry asks, eyeing the contents.  "Yeah," Balki confirms.  "Well, they look safe enough," Larry decides.  He takes one and bites into it, reacting with surprise.  "Balki . . . these are the best egg rolls I’ve ever had!"  "Oh, go on with you," Balki scoffs.  "No, I mean it!" Larry insists.  "No," Balki replies.  "These are delicious!" Larry states.

"Well, as my cooking teacher Mr. De Rigeur says, ‘Balki, cuisine is an art.  That’s why we call it Cuisinart,’" Balki relates with a French accent.  "Wh . . . what gives it that sort of bittersweet taste?" Larry asks.  "Well, uh . . . Cousin, you know, a . . . a chef is never supposed to reveal his secrets," Balki begins, still in a semi-French accent while removing his toque, "but I added a Myposian delicacy.  I didn’t think you had it in this country and then I found it down by the lake in a grocery store called Ned’s Bait Shop."  Larry drops the egg roll, then asks, "Ned’s Bait Shop?"  "Yeah," Balki confirms, "Ned had no produce at all but his meat case was stunning."  Larry picks up a paper napkin and wipes his tongue with it vigorously.  There is a knock at the door and Larry goes to answer it.  It’s Jennifer.

"Oh hi, Jennifer!" Larry greets her.  "Hi, Larry," Jennifer smiles.  "Oh, Jennifer!  Jennifer!" Balki says, running over with the pan, "Can I . . . can I offer you some . . . some egg rolls a la Mypois?"  "Oh, thank you, Ba . . . "  Jennifer begins, reaching for an egg roll when Larry motions for her not to take one.  " . . . lki, but I just ate," Jennifer finishes.  "Okay," Balki says, "Maybe later.  They . . . they really should curdle for about an hour."  Balki motions to one of the egg rolls and says, "Get back in there."  He carries the pan back to the kitchen, urging whatever is in the egg roll to "Stay . . . stay!"  "Larry, there’s something I . . . I need to ask you," Jennifer says.  "Well, sure, what is it?" Larry asks.  "Well, I got a call today from an old college friend who wants to have dinner with me Friday night," Jennifer explains, "But I’d be happy to say no if you want me to."

"No, don’t be silly," Larry insists, "Have dinner with your friend.  What’s her name?"  "Bill Madden," Jennifer answers.  Larry looks surprised and asks, "That wouldn’t be a guy, would it?"  "I can tell him no if you want me to," Jennifer repeats.  "Absolutely not!" Larry replies, "Uh, so you have dinner with a guy who sat next to you in zoology lab.  Big deal."  "Actually, I dated Bill for four years," Jennifer corrects him.  Larry looks shocked, but tries to hide it.  "But, I can tell him no if you want me to," Jennifer tries again.  "No!" Larry says adamantly, "No, no, no, no.  He’s an old friend.  H . . . have dinner with him.  I insist."  "You wouldn’t be upset?" Jennifer asks.  "Upset?  Me?" Larry asks, "No, no, no, no.  Have a good time.  Say hello to Bill for me."  "Well, okay," Jennifer shrugs, "Bye, Larry."  She leaves and Larry says, "Bye bye," before closing the door behind her.

No sooner has Larry closed the door when he cries out, "I wanna die!  I wanna die!"  Balki runs from the kitchen and leads Larry toward the couch gently, asking, "Wh . . . what’s wrong with you?"  "What’s wrong with me?" Larry cries, "What is wrong with me?  I’ll tell you what’s wrong with me!  Jennifer is going out with her old boyfriend."  "Oh, is that all?" Balki says, and he turns to walk back to the kitchen but Larry grabs his arm and stops him.  "No, that’s a horrible thing!" Larry yells, "I don’t want Jennifer going out with another guy!"  "But, Cousin, Cousin, I don’t get it," Balki says, directing Larry to sit on the couch with him, "I just heard you tell her it was all right.  If you didn’t want her to go, why you don’t just say no?"  "Balki, the woman I love tells me she wants to go out with another man and you expect me to say no?" Larry asks, "What?  Do you think I’m stupid?"  "Is this a trick question?" Balki asks.  "No.  No, it is very simple," Larry says, "Jennifer is a woman of the nineties . . . "  "Nineties?" Balki exclaims, "I would have guessed late twenties, tops."

"No, no," Larry sighs, "No, no, no.  Not a woman in her nineties.  A woman of the nineties.  And if you read any of those women’s magazines you know that what she wants is a man of the nineties."  "Well, Cousin, in sixty years you’ll be a man in your nineties and all your problems will be solved," Balki offers.  "No, no," Larry says, losing patience, "Not a man in his nineties, a man of the nineties.  And a man of the nineties isn’t possessive or jealous.  And if I had told Jennifer I didn’t want her to go on this date she would have thought I was possessive and jealous.  And then she would have dumped me, gone out with another man and I’d be miserable."  "But . . . but . . . she is going out with another man and you are miserable," Balki points out.  "I know that!" Larry assures him, "But that’s how you keep a woman in the nineties.  Haven’t you understood a word I’ve said?"  "Do we have any aspirin because I just can’t take it . . . " Balki sobs, lowering his head into his hand.  "Let me explain it again," Larry says as Balki continues to cry with frustration, "Let me explain it . . . it’s simple!  It’s really very, very simple."

Upstairs in the girls’ apartment, Mary Anne is sitting on the couch painting her toenails.  "This little piggy went to market," she says of her toes, "This little piggy stayed home.  This little . . . "  Jennifer storms into the apartment and slams the door behind her, stating, "Larry Appleton is a jerk!"  "It didn’t go well?" Mary Anne surmises.  "I just asked him if he would mind if I had dinner with another man," Jennifer explains, "Do you know what he had the nerve to say to me?  ‘I insist!  Have a good time!  Say hello to Bill for me!’  I could just shake him ‘til his teeth rattle.  I’ve been dating Larry for over three years and I still don’t know where our relationship is going."  "Well, I think you should just ask him," Mary Anne says.  "I know what I’ll do!" Jennifer says suddenly, "I’ll tell Larry I want to date other people.  He’ll have to say no to that and then I’ll know how he really feels.  Thanks a lot, Mary Anne.  You always give me such good advice."  Jennifer runs out the door.  "Glad I could help," Mary Anne says after she’s gone.

Back at the guys’ apartment, Larry is still trying to explain it all to Balki, who walks to the couch and sits down holding an ice pack to his head.  "So, by giving her complete freedom I’m ensuring that she’ll be mine forever," Larry says, then asks, "Now do you understand?"  "Perhaps you could recommend some reference material on the subject?" Balki asks.  "Balki, let me put it another way, okay?" Larry suggests.  "Please, any other way . . . " Balki moans.  There is a knock at the door and Larry answers it to find Jennifer.  "Oh hi!" he says, "Uh . . . come on in."  "Larry, there’s something else we need to talk about," Jennifer begins.  She looks down at Balki on the couch as Larry says, "Balki, we need to be alone."  "Cousin, you’re right," Balki agrees, "Jennifer, could you excuse us, please?"  "No, Balki, Jennifer and I need to be alone," Larry clarifies.

"Well, then I should be the one to leave," Balki says.  "Yes," Larry agrees.  "I don’t know why you make everything so complicated," Balki whines as he gets up from the couch and goes to his room, complaining in Myposian as he leaves.  "Larry, we’ve been seeing each other for three years," Jennifer points out.  "Yes," Larry smiles, "Yes, we have."  Balki walks out of his bedroom and steps over to them.  "Cousin, we have to talk," Balki tells Larry.  "Balki, Jennifer and I are in the middle of a conversation," Larry says.  "I’ll meet you at the lamp," Balki says seriously, and he pinches Larry’s behind before stepping away.  "I’m sorry," Larry apologizes to Jennifer, "If I don’t listen to him he’ll hold his breath."  Jennifer nods and Larry walks over to Balki and asks, "What is it?"

"Cousin, I was just putting my Silly Putty back in my egg when I had a realization," Balki says, "Now, I know that some things are very personal and there are times when a person shouldn’t interfere.  In fact on Mypos we have a saying: ‘Kongi fongi lavi, andri baba dravi, och po po po lopi, just don’t be so dopi.’"  "Kongi fongi lavi, andri baba dravi, och po po po lopi, just don’t be so dopi?" Larry repeats.  "Exactly," Balki confirms, "Literally translated it means, ‘When a man is rinsing out his underwear . . . don’t drop by.’"  "Is there a point to this?" Larry asks.  "Cousin, you should tell Jennifer how you really feel," Balki urges.  "Balki, Jennifer is a woman of the nineties," Larry says again, "I am a man of the nineties.  Are you a man of the nineties?"  "Ah ha!" Balki scoffs.  "Are you a man of the nineties?"  "Ah!"  "Are you?  Are you?  Are you?  Are you a man of the nineties?"

Balki thinks a moment then answers, "No, no I’m not."  "Then I suggest you go to your room and we’ll talk about this when you are," Larry scolds.  "That seems fair," Balki sighs, and he returns to his room.  Larry walks back over to Jennifer.  "Now . . . where were we?"  "We’ve been seeing each other for three years," Jennifer starts again.  "Yes," Larry nods.  "And I was wondering how you might feel about us dating other people," Jennifer says.  "Other people?" Larry asks with surprise, trying to hide his true feelings, "W . . . well, I . . . I guess that would be . . . all right . . . I guess," Larry stammers.  "It would?" Jennifer asks, trying to read Larry’s expression, "Uh, maybe I’m not making myself clear.  You see, I don’t just mean one date with one person.  It could be several dates with one person or one date with several people or several dates with several people.  There are several possibilities.  What do you think?"

"Well, uh . . . " Larry says, "if you think that’s, uh . . . a good idea . . . so do I."  "So, you’re saying that it wouldn’t bother you if we both dated other people?" Jennifer asks.  "Bother?" Larry asks, "Oh, no, no.  It wouldn’t bother me if it wouldn’t bother you."  "You’re sure?" Jennifer asks.  "Positive," Larry smiles, still trying to hide his true feelings.  "Well, okay," Jennifer says, "How ‘bout this?  I don’t think we should see each other at all.  Goodbye, Larry."  Jennifer turns in a huff and leaves.  Balki slowly walks out of his bedroom with a cocky stance, carrying a wooden ball in cup toy.  He walks over to Larry and tosses the ball up but misses catching it in the cup.  "I, uh . . . I know I’m just a simple Mypiot boy and I may never be a man in my Nikes but . . . from where I’m standing . . . "  Balki finishes in a Californian accent.  " . . . yer lookin’ at tail lights, dude!"  On Larry’s stunned expression the scene fades to black.

Act two begins two weeks later at the apartment.  Larry is sitting in his pajamas and bathrobe, unshaven and unkempt, looking out the window through binoculars.  We can hear the sound of the sports car pulling away.  "Well, there they go again," Larry sighs to Balki, who is in the kitchen, "It’s been fourteen days and Jennifer’s gone out with Bill fourteen times.  You’d think by now she’d be sick of gettin’ in and out of the Porsche."  "Cousin, uh . . . what do you say we go out and get a couple of sky high sundaes?" Balki suggests.  "No," Larry says, "I wanna be here when the get back."  "Cousin, enough is too much," Balki protests, "You’ve got to pull yourself together."  Balki walks over to Larry and prods at his with a rolling pin, moving him away from the window.  "Now come on, move it along, buddy.  Move it along.  Just keep movin’."

When they are past the kitchen, Balki points out, "Cousin, you haven’t left the apartment in two weeks."  "I have no reason to leave," Larry sighs, "Life outside this apartment is meaningless.  Life inside the apartment is meaningless . . . but my pajamas are here."  "Okay, buddy, park it on the couch," Balki prods with the rolling pin again, motioning for Larry to sit down, "On the couch . . . on the couch . . . move it, please."  They sit down and Balki addresses Larry seriously.  "Listen to me . . . my Mama done told me there are two times in life when you’ve got to tell people what your true feelings are.  One is when someone is sticking a sharp thing in your ear.  Then you say, ‘Please . . . take that sharp thing out of my ear.’  The other is when you love someone.  And then you say, ‘I love you!’  It’s important not to get the two mixed up."

"Balki, if I tell Jennifer I love her she’ll just reject me again and I . . . I couldn’t stand that much pain," Larry explains.  "Oh, Cousin," Balki sighs sympathetically.  "I . . . I . . . I’ve gotta stop thinking about her or I’m gonna go crazy," Larry says, "I’ve gotta try to forget her.  So if you’re my friend you won’t do or say anything that reminds me of that . . . nameless . . . blonde woman."  Balki looks confused and asks, "Now who are we talking about?"  "Jennifer," Larry explains.  "Jennifer?" Balki asks.  "No!" Larry cries, startling Balki, "Don’t say her name!  Just promise me you . . . you won’t mention her name again!"  "Promise you’ll never scare me like that again!" Balki cries.  "Okay," Larry agrees.  "Okay," Balki agrees.  "I promise," they both say at the same time.  "Thank you," Larry adds, "I’ll be in my room . . . destroying anything that reminds me of that nameless blonde woman."  Larry gets up and heads for his bedroom, then stops.  "I’ll start by destroying all her love letters," he says, then he looks crushed and cries, "Oh God!  She never wrote me any love letters!"

Larry cries as he walks into his bedroom.  There is a knock at the door and Balki gets up to answer it, finding Mary Anne.  "Hi, Mary Anne," Balki offers.  Mary Anne steps inside, looking serious.  "Balki, I need to talk to you."  Balki takes her aside and closes the front door.  "Bill told me he’s taking Jennifer to Chez Fino tonight," Mary Anne begins.  "Oh, I love that restaurant!" Balki exclaims, "They have those little snails in puff pastry and if you poke them out they go walking, walking . . . "  Mary Anne grabs Balki’s head to get his attention back.  "Balki . . . Bill is going to ask Jennifer to marry him."  "Pig stikki!  Fig stikki!" Balki curses, then looks startled and says, "Oh!  Pardon my Myposian.  I can’t let this happen.  I . . . I . . . I have to get Cousin Larry to that restaurant!"  "And then what will you do?" Mary Anne asks.  "I don’t know," Balki answers, "Maybe take in a movie?"

At Chez Fino, we see a couple leaving the restaurant.  The camera pans with them until it stops at a table where Jennifer and Bill are sitting.  Balki and Larry enter and Balki tells the maitre d’, "Bartokomous, party of two."  "Yes, sir," the maitre d’ replies.  "Well, this is nice," Larry says, "I’m glad you talked me into this.  I feel better already."  "Oh Cousin, you’re a . . . you’re a . . . "  Larry is about to look over toward Jennifer so Balki turns his head back toward him, patting his face.  " . . . you’re a . . . you’re a new. . . new man.  And maybe tomorrow you can tie your own shoes."  "Oh!" Larry laughs, looking down at his shoes.  The maitre d’ steps forward, moving in the direction of Jennifer’s table as he explains, "I have a table waiting for you right over here."  Balki grabs Larry’s face and spins him around as he says, "Oh well, why go that way when we can take the scenic route?"

Balki leads Larry along the other side of the restaurant in a long way to their table, pointing out interesting things as they proceed.  "Cousin, look at this view!" Balki says as they look out the window.  "Oh, well, this is magnificent," Larry agrees.  "Would you look at that view?  Fabulous!" Balki continues to lead Larry, next looking at the wallpaper.  "And . . . and this wallpaper!  Is that flocked?" he asks the maitre d’, "Lovely!  And is . . . is that a real oil painting?"  Balki stops at a painting over a fireplace and reaches up to scratch its surface with his fingernails.  He looks at his fingernails and states, "Yes, that’s . . . that’s real oil . . . there’s a raw umber in the foreground there.  It’s fantastic.  And look at this, Cousin!  The desserts!"  Balki moves them on to the dessert cart.  "Look, they have your favorite . . . lemon meringue pie!"  "Too much sugar for me," Larry laughs.

"Gentlemen, your table," the maitre d’ says, setting their menus down on a table.  "Oh Cousin," Balki says, then sees Larry is about to sit on the side where he would have a full view of Jennifer, "Cousin, uh, would you . . . would you mind sitting over here?  I can’t be looking at those desserts, you know, I . . . "  Larry sits on the opposite side and they both pick up their menus.  "This is nice," Larry sighs, looking around, "Absolutely nothing here reminds me of that nameless blonde woman."  Larry happens to look around behind him and sees Jennifer at the table with Bill.  "Except possibly for Jennifer sitting over there with her boyfriend," Larry adds, looking over the menu in his hand.  A moment later his eyes grow wide and he spins around to look at them again.  Before Larry can turn back, Balki has pulled out a pair of reading glasses and places them on his nose, looking involved in the menu as Larry eyes him with fury.

Larry sets down his menu and slowly starts to knock the items on the table between him and Balki aside as he moves forward.  Balki listens to every clink with growing dread.  Larry knocks one cup off the table completely then grabs Balki’s menu and tosses it aside as well.  Balki removes the glasses and laughs, "You’re, uh . . . you’re . . . you’re not going to get annoyed with me, are you?"  Larry is now leaning across the table and grabs Balki by the shirt, saying, "I’m not gonna get annoyed."  "Oh, that’s good," Balki sighs.  "I’m gonna kill you," Larry adds.  "Oh, that’s bad," Balki says.  Larry sits back and announces, "I’m leaving."  "No, Cousin, you can’t do that!" Balki cries as Larry jumps up.  "Well, you can’t stop me!" Larry insists.  Balki chases after him, grabbing him from behind but Larry continues to walk, dragging Balki with him into the foyer.

There is the sound of a commotion and Balki returns, holding Larry around the neck and pulling him into the restaurant.  "Cousin, you have to tell that nameless blonde woman how you feel about her," Balki insists, "If you don’t you will regret it for the rest of your life!"  Balki emphasizes the sentiment by squeezing Larry’s head repeatedly.  "Balki, let me go!" Larry insists.  "No!" Balki says, squeezing Larry’s head again.  Larry suddenly points and says, "Oh look!  Is that Wayne Newton?"  Balki releases Larry and cries excitedly, "Wayne!"  Larry runs into the foyer and Balki chases after him.  There is the sound of another struggle and Balki enters carrying a stubborn Larry across his shoulders.  Balki carries Larry to Jennifer and Bill’s table and stands a moment before asking, "Who had the Cousin Larry?"

"Do you know these people?" Bill asks Jennifer.  "I’m afraid so," Jennifer admits, then she turns to Larry and Balki and asks, "What are you doing here?"  Balki sets Larry down and explains, "Cousin Larry has something he wants to tell you."  "Uh, we’re in the middle of a very private moment," Bill says.  "Eat your broccoli!" Balki orders Bill, then steps around Larry so Larry is closer to Jennifer, urging, "Cousin, go ahead."  "Well," Larry begins, " . . . uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . "  "Jennifer, what he wants to tell you is . . . " Balki tries to help.  "Balki," Jennifer tries to stop him.  "Jennifer . . . "  "Balki . . . "  "Let me just say . . . "  "Balki . . . "  "Let me tell you . . . let me just say . . . "  "Balki . . . Balki . . . "  " . . . if . . . yes."  "If Larry has something to say, let him say it," Jennifer states, then she looks to Larry.  "Well . . . uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . " Larry stammers until Balki slaps him on the back of the head, "Jennifer?  This . . . this isn’t easy for me to say but . . . . . please take that sharp thing out of my ear."  Larry realizes what he’s said and looks at Balki in horror.

Balki turns Larry back to Jennifer so he can try again.  "Uh . . . uh . . . but there’s something I . . . I’ve been meaning to tell you," Larry tries again, "And I . . . I wanted to tell you the first time I saw you in the health club.  And then we started dating and . . . and . . . and I wanted to tell you again.  And . . . and then a couple of weeks ago when you came down I . . . I really wanted to tell you.  But I didn’t.  So . . . I’m telling you now."  Larry smiles and sighs, as if a weight has been taken off his shoulders.  "What are you telling me?" Jennifer asks with confusion.  "Jennifer . . . I love you," Larry says.  "You do?" Jennifer asks with a smile.  "Yes, I love you," Larry repeats, "And . . . and . . . and I . . . I don’t want you goin’ out with other guys."  "Well, that’s nice," Bill says, "But I just asked Jennifer to marry me."  "Boy, he’s fast," Larry comments to Balki.  "Jennifer, if you say yes to me you’ll never want for anything," Bill promises, "You’ll have a magnificent home, all the money you’ll ever need and . . . "  He eyes Larry.  " . . . beautiful children."  

Larry and Balki share a shocked look.  "Here’s the ring, sweetheart," Bill says, pulling out a velvet ring box, "It’s yours if you’ll say yes."  Bill opens the box to reveal a gigantic diamond ring.  "Oh my Lord!" Jennifer, Balki and Larry gasp.  "Okay, Cousin, you’re up!" Balki bolsters Larry, "Take your best shot.  It’s the bottom of the ninth, two outs, the bases are loaded, you’ve got two strikes against you . . . Cousin, it’s time to kick it through the uprights!  Go, baby, go, baby, go, baby, go!"  Balki steps back and lets Larry speak to Jennifer.  "Jennifer . . . I can’t promise you a magnificent home or all the money you’ll ever need.  And there’s a good chance our children will be short.  But I want you to know . . . nobody’s gonna love you as much as I do.  So I . . . I think it would be . . . just . . . really . . . good . . . if you married me."  After only a moment, Jennifer nods and says, "Yes, Larry.  I’ll marry you."  "You will?" Larry asks with surprise.  "Yes," Jennifer confirms, "Larry, I love you."  "Oh!  Oh!  Oh!" Larry gasps in disbelief as he reaches down and takes Jennifer’s hand, pulling her up.  They share a warm and romantic kiss.

Back at the apartment, Larry and Balki enter while arguing.  "Look, I know it was a horrible night for him but Bill asked Jennifer out to dinner, he should have paid the check!" Larry points out.  "Cousin, let it go," Balki urges, "You got the girl!"  Larry thinks about this and smiles, saying, "You’re right."  He closes the door behind them.  "Balki, this is the most wonderful night of my life.  Jennifer loves me as much as I love her and I never would have found that out if it weren’t for you.  Thank you."  "Cousin, you’re welcome," Balki smiles, "I . . . I could not be happier for you!  You are going to be married to Jennifer for the rest of your life!"  "Yeah," Larry smiles, "It’s gonna be wonderful."  "Well, it certainly is," Balki agrees, "because, Cousin, just think of it . . . every hour of every day for the rest of your life you will have the joy of knowing you have someone to take care of.  Every . . . every . . . every minute . . . of every hour . . . of every day . . . for the rest of your life, you’ll have someone who depends on you . . . someone who needs you . . . someone who’s very happiness rests in your hands."  After listening to this, Larry faints dead away and falls to the floor.

Script Variations:
There were a few differences between the Second Draft script dated August 27, 1990 and the episode which aired:
- According to the production notes for the week, a 100th episode party was held on the soundstage after the filming was completed.  The reference on Thursday, 8/30 for Setup Airplane on Stage 26 referred to the set for the upcoming filming of the episode Call Me Indestructible, which was filmed two weeks later.
- In the first scene, no reference to Larry trying to dunk and eat a cookie is made.
- After Larry tells Jennifer he's fine with her going out with Bill, Jennifer says, "Well, okay.  I'll be leaving now."  She pauses, hoping Larry will say something, but when he doesn't she says,"Bye."  When Larry closes the door he cries, "My life is over."
- After Balki says he just heard Larry tell Jennifer it was all right for her to go out, he adds, "If I remember correctly, your exact words were 'I insist.'"
- Balki doesn't comment on Jennifer being in her nineties in this script at all.  After Larry says that if he had told Jennifer he didn't want her going out with Bill she would think he was possessive and jealous, Balki asks, "Then what would happen?"  "Jennifer would dump me, go out with another man, and I'd be miserable," Larry answers.  Then Balki points out this is what has happened anyway.  Larry explains that's how you keep a woman in the nineties.  Balki is totally confused and says, "So what you're saying is, if you don't want a woman to go out with someone else, you insist she go out with someone else because that will guarantee that she won't go out with someone else even though you insisted that she go out with someone else."  "Exactly," Larry confirms.  "It's so much simpler on Mypos," Balki sighs, "You meet a girl, you like her, you give her a goat."
- When Jennifer storms into her apartment angrily and Mary Anne deduces that it didn't go well, Jennifer explains, "Didn't go well?  I asked him if he minded if I had dinner with another man.  Did he say, 'Yes, of course I would mind?'  Did he say, 'Over my dead body?'  Did he say, 'I don't want you seeing anyone else?'  No.  He said, 'I insist.  I insist that you go.'"  "You're upset, aren't you?" Mary Anne asks.  "Of course I'm upset," Jennifer replies, "I've been dating Larry for over three years and I still don't know where our relationship is going."  "Why don't you try saying, 'Larry, we've been dating for three years.  Where is our relationship going?'" Mary Anne suggests.  Jennifer then says that she'll tell him she wants them to date other people.
- After Larry explains again how by giving Jennifer complete freedom he's ensuring she'll be his forever, he asks Balki if he understand.  "Maybe you could recommend some reference material on this subject," Balki sighs.  "Balki," Larry says.  "A pamphlet or a tract of some kind," Balki continues.  Larry says he'll try putting it another way and Balki says, "Please, any other way."  "On Mypos, suppose you had a sheep that wanted to wander off," Larry tries, "Wouldn't you let that sheep go so she could find out for herself that what she truly wanted all along was to come back and be with you?"  "On Mypos when we had a sheep that wanted to wander off, we killed it and ate it," Balki replies.
- When Balki tells Larry his Myposian saying and translates, Larry asks, "Is there a point to this?"  Balki answers, "The point is, it doesn't apply here, so I'm going to interfere."  He then urges Larry to tell Jennifer how he really feels.
- After Larry explains that he couldn't stand to have Jennifer reject him again, he asks Balki never to do or say anything that reminds him of that nameless blonde woman.  "But, Jennifer is the . . . " Balki begins.  "Uh uh!" Larry stops him, "Don't ever speak her name again."  "Don't make me do this," Balki begs, "Please don't make me do this."  "Promise me you'll never mention her name again," Larry repeats.  "All right, I promise never to mention her name again," Balki reluctantly agrees.  Then Larry goes to his room, saying he'll destroy her love letters before realizing she's never written him any.
- When Mary Anne enters, she asks, "How's it going with Larry?"  "Pretty good," Balki answers, "I got him away from the window."  "That's not good enough," Mary Anne sighs, "I have something important to tell you, Balki.  Bill is taking Jennifer to Chez Fino tonight and he's going to ask her to marry him."  The rest of the scene is the same.
- The reference to Balki scratching the painting is not in this script, although distracting Larry by looking at the view, mentioning the flocked wallpaper and the dessert cart are included.
- After Larry tells Balki he's going to kill him, he calls, "Waiter, bring me a steak knife."  "I'm way ahead of you, Cousin," Balki says, "This is a seafood restaurant."
- The script directions say Balki is to hang on to Larry's leg while they cross to the door.
- Instead of Balki telling Larry he'll regret it the rest of his life if he doesn't tell that nameless blonde woman how he feels about her, Balki warns, "If you don't, you'll lose the most precious gift a heart can know."  It isn't until Balki carries Larry back into the restaurant that he says the line about Larry regretting it the rest of his life.  When he carries Larry to the table, he says, "Hello, nameless blonde woman.  You remember Cousin Larry."
- Balki hits Larry on the back of the head a second time after Jennifer asks, "What are you telling me?"
- After Bill tells them he's just asked Jennifer to marry him, Larry turns to Balki and says, "He moves fast."  "Cousin, he drives a Porsche," Balki points out.
- After Jennifer and Larry kiss, Bill says, "I can't believe this.  Why did you pick him?"  "Well Bill, on Mypos, we have a saying," Balki says, then speaks Myposian, "It means every once in a while Prince Charming turns out to be the short, curly-haired guy with no upper lip at all."
- After Larry thanks Balki for helping him tell Jennifer how he feels, Balki says, "You're welcome, Cousin.  I couldn't be happier for you.  I'm glad you finally cut through that nineties babastiki."
- After Larry passes out, Balki continues, "Every second of every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of your life . . . "

Continue on to the next episode . . .