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Perfect
Strangers Episode Guide
EPISODE
89 - Three's a Crowd
First Air Date:
February 9, 1990
Filming Date: January 18, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 13.0 HH
Co-Producer:
James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Tom Devanney
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Dimitri Appearances:
Dimitri is not seen in this episode.
Balki-isms:
"Just because two turtle doves want to fly the coop don’t mean you make
it easy for them and buy them tickets to Miami."
"Sticks and stones may hurt Shirley Jones but nerds will never harm
me!"
"I know enough of the language to tell you what I think in most uncertain
terms!"
"Roommates are a dime a dance!"
Don’t be
ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
Other catchphrases
used in this episode:
Balki’s "Ha!"
"Wwowww!"
" . . . I have a plan!"
"Oh God!"
"I don’t think so!"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Larry sniffs at the air
Balki grabs Larry by the nose
Mary Anne bends Balki over backwards to kiss him
Larry has a plan (and this time it actually works!)
Balki says "Well, something something and call me something," in this
case, "Well, slap my face and call me Zsa Zsa!"
Interesting facts:
- The title of this episode derives from the classic saying,
"Two’s company, three’s a crowd."
- Originally there was a final line for the first
scene which bombed terribly when the episode was filmed in front of the studio
audience. To read about this and other edited bits, go to our On
the Scene . . . page with excerpts from several fifth season episode
filmings.
-
Balki’s Spiderman pajamas make an appearance in this episode, the first
time we’ve seen them since the episode Hello, Baby (or, technically
speaking, the flashback episode College Bound.)
- When Balki talks about the things he loves about
having Mary Anne staying with them, he’s quoting lyrics from the song,
"They Can’t Take That Away From Me," a popular 1937 song by Ira and
George Gershwin that was featured in the classic Fred Astaire film, Shall
We Dance?
- Larry utters his famous catchphrase, "I have
. . . a plan!" in this episode, to which Balki replies, "Oh God!"
This was a precursor of what was to become one of their most famous exchanges
throughout the series, the only change being that in later versions Larry would
say, "I have . . . " and then Balki would say, "Oh God!" in
anticipation before Larry finished with " . . . a plan!"
- Balki’s comment, "Well, slap my face and
call me Zsa Zsa!" refers to a famous June 1989 incident in which actress
Zsa Zsa Gabor was arrested after slapping a policeman during a traffic stop.
- When Balki says the line, "Not so fast,
pilgrim!" he’s doing an impersonation of actor John Wayne who made his
mark in cinema playing in many western movies.
Bloopers and
Inconsistencies:
- After accidentally sitting on Mary Anne’s curling iron, Larry sets it
on the couch next to him. Later Balki sits on that same spot on the couch,
so why doesn’t he react to the curling iron? In fact, if you look
closely you can see the curling iron is now sitting on the coffee table.
To find out what got cut from this episode that explains this, read the Script
Variations below!
Synopsis:
The episode begins in the apartment with Larry, Balki, Jennifer and Mary Anne
sitting around the coffee table playing a board game. We hear Jennifer’s
voice say, "Okay, it’s your turn, Balki." Balki moves his game
piece six spaces. Jennifer reaches over to a stack of cards and pulls one
off the top. "Okay, Balki, Pet Peeve," Jennifer says, then
reads, "‘What bothers you most about the person sitting on your
right?’" Larry, who is sitting to Balki’s right, looks worried.
"Ooh, this should be good!" Mary Anne smiles. Balki looks very
uncomfortable. "This is very hard for me to say," he begins,
"The . . . the thing that bothers me the most about Cousin Larry is . . .
he doesn’t give himself enough credit for all the good things he does."
Larry, who has been cringing, sits up proudly. "Forgive me if I’ve
hurt you," Balki asks Larry emotionally. "Oh. . . it’s
okay," Larry assures Balki, patting his hand.
"Okay,
Mary Anne, your turn," Jennifer announces. Mary Anne rolls the dice
and moves three spaces. "Ooh!" she exclaims, "I get a Pet
Peeve, too. Just like you!" She and Balki share some playful
motions. "Okay," Jennifer reads from the card, "‘Name a
fault of the person sitting across from you or sing a Barry Manilow
song.’" Everyone looks at Mary Anne and insist in unison,
"Answer the question!" "Well, okay, but it’s a tough
one," Mary Anne sighs, "I mean, Jennifer’s almost perfect."
Jennifer smiles. "Well, there is this one teeny little fault,"
Mary Anne says, "It wouldn’t be worth mentioning if I didn’t want to
win the game." "Come on," Larry encourages her.
"It’s her habit of correcting everything I do," Mary Anne says.
Larry and Balki laugh, then look to Jennifer, who isn’t laughing at all.
"Mary
Anne, I don’t do that," Jennifer argues. "Yes, you do,"
Mary Anne replies as a matter-of-fact, "Who’s next?"
"Wait a minute, Mary Anne," Jennifer says angrily, "If you’re
gonna make a statement like that you have to explain it."
"Should I roll the dice for you?" Larry asks Jennifer, trying to
distract her. "Not now, Larry," Jennifer growls, then looks to
Mary Anne and says, "Now what do you mean I correct everything you
do?" "All right, fine!" Mary Anne replies, "For
example, every time I check the passengers’ seat belts you follow right along
behind me checking them again." "Well . . . I have to,"
Jennifer explains, "You’re careless." "I am not!"
Mary Anne protests. "Oh yeah? Last week you left the oven
on," Jennifer reminds her. "I was baking cookies," Mary
Anne says. "For three days?" Jennifer asks.
"Well,
I’m surprised you had time to check the oven," Mary Anne counters,
"You spend so much time in front of a mirror." "Well, at
least I don’t put my makeup on with a spray gun," Jennifer retorts.
"This from a person who snores like a teamster!" Mary Anne counters.
"I don’t have to sit here and take this from someone who can’t remember
her real hair color!" Jennifer snaps. She stands up and angrily says,
"Good night!" to Larry and Balki before storming out the door.
"Oh! Oh yeah?" Mary Anne asks, also getting up and heading for
the door, "Well . . . well, at least I didn’t go to the prom with my
brother!" Mary Anne storms out of apartment as well, leaving a
stunned Larry and Balki sitting on the couch.
Later
that night, Larry and Balki are in the kitchen. Balki is leaning out the
window then comes back in. "The screaming has stopped," he
reports, "I think the girls must have made up." There is a knock
at the door and Balki and Larry go to answer it. Mary Anne is in the
doorway, holding two suitcases. "Hi, Balki," she says sadly,
"I just wanted to say goodbye before I move out." "Why you
are moving out?" Balki asks. "Because I would rather eat glass
than live with Jennifer!" Mary Anne answers. "Mary Anne, you
can’t be serious," Larry says. "Cousin Larry’s right,"
Balki agrees, "Glass is really tough on your digestive system."
"Mary Anne, Jennifer is your best friend," Larry points out.
"Ex-best friend," Mary Anne corrects, "I’m gonna go stay
at a hotel until I find my own place." She turns to leave but Balki
stops her. "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You can forget
about going to a hotel. You’ll stay right here with us, you’ll sleep
in my room and I’ll stay on the couch." Larry looks shocked by this
announcement.
"Oh Balki, I couldn’t do
that," Mary Anne insists, "I’d be putting you out. I’ll stay
in a hotel." "Well, if you think that’s best," Larry
quickly says. "No, no, no, no, no!" Balki protests, "You
march yourself right on in there and start unpacking! Bush bush bush bush
bush! Cousin Larry and I insist." "Oh, you guys are the
greatest," Mary Anne says, "I’ll try to stay out of your way."
She heads for Balki’s bedroom, hitting Larry in the leg with her suitcase as
she passes. "Oh sorry, Larry," she offers, then continues into
Balki’s bedroom. Balki closes the front door. "Balki, you
just made a huge mistake!" Larry warns. "I’m sorry,
Cousin," Balki offers, "Did you want to give her your room?
I’ll go ask her." Larry stops Balki from walking away then leads
him toward the couch. "I mean you put us right in the middle of their
argument," Larry explains. "Well, Cousin, I’m just helping
Mary Anne," Balki explains, "What you would say if Jennifer wanted to
stay here?" "Thank you, God," Larry answers, "But
that’s not the point. Balki, Jennifer’s going to think I’m taking
Mary Anne’s side."
"Now wait a minute," Balki
sighs, "Mary Anne is my girlfriend. She’ll be staying in my room,
she’ll be wearing my robe, she’ll by
using my Mr. Duckie bubble bath. There is no way Jennifer could get mad at
you." Larry looks unconvinced. There is a knock at the door and
Larry goes to answer it. Jennifer steps inside. "Oh hi!"
Larry says. "Hi, guys," Jennifer replies, "Mary Anne just
moved out. I’m so mad! Larry, I just need to talk."
"Well, you came to the right place," Larry assures her, then adds,
"Let’s go to a coffee shop." He turns her around to head back
out the door just as Mary Anne comes out of Balki’s bedroom. "Balki,
where do you keep the towels?" she asks. Jennifer steps back into the
doorway with Larry. "Mary Anne, what are you doing here?"
"Uh, Jennifer, I think I can explain . . . " Balki begins, but Mary
Anne smugly cuts him off, announcing, "The guys insisted I stay here!"
She walks away. Jennifer turns to Larry in disbelief. "Well,
that doesn’t bother you, does it, Jennifer?" Larry asks. Jennifer
turns and storms off. Larry looks at Balki, who smiles and then laughs
sheepishly.
One
week later, it is morning at the apartment. Larry sleepily steps out of
his bedroom wearing his pajamas and a robe. There is an ironing board with
an iron on it sitting in the middle of the hallway to the living room.
Mary Anne’s clothes are laid out on various pieces of furniture. Still
groggy, Larry walks to the bathroom and opens the door. Mary Anne screams
and Larry jumps back, closing the door again. "Sorry, Mary
Anne!" he calls. Larry backs up toward the living room then turns
around just in time to collide with the ironing board, knocking it over.
He grabs the board and also reaches down to grab the iron by the handle before
it can fall to the floor. Off balance, Larry stumbles back and hits the
wall, causing him to drop the iron on his foot. He lets out a yell of pain
before flying backwards into the living room and landing flat in his back on the
floor with the ironing board on top of him.
Larry
gets to his feet and angrily sets the ironing board behind the couch, then turns
to pick up the iron, grabbing its cord to pull it up. He accidentally
grabs the iron on the bottom and burns his hand, crying "Ow! Ow!"
He sets the iron on the board with the hot side facing the couch.
Frustrated, Larry walks to the couch and sits down, immediately jumping back up
in pain and reaching back to find a curling iron which Mary Anne has left on the
cushion. Larry sits back down and sets the curling iron on the other couch
cushion. Panting from exhaustion and irritation, Larry leans back on the
couch, trying to relax. His head is hanging over the back of the couch and
his hair is coming in contact with the iron and starts to smoke. Larry
sniffs at the air, wondering what he smells burning. Suddenly he screams
and sits up, swiping at his burning hair with his hand then looking around in
exasperation.
Balki
enters through the front door, wearing a coat but still shivering from the cold.
"Hi, Cousin," Balki says. "Balki, this has gone far
enough!" Larry complains, getting up from the couch and following Balki to
the kitchen counter, "I haven’t seen the inside of our bathroom in a
week!" "Well, the men’s room at the gas station is
available," Balki offers, handing Larry a key on a chain attached to a
piece of wood that has "Men" written on it, "although, if I were
you, I’d bring a little 409 along with me." Larry hangs the board
and key on a nail by the counter. Balki is sitting on the couch and Larry
walks over to sit beside him. "Balki, our lives have not been the
same since Mary Anne moved in. We’re crowded, the place is a mess and
she treats us like we’re passengers on a 747." "Come on,
Cousin, you’re exaggerating," Balki says.
Mary
Anne exits the bathroom wearing her flight attendant’s uniform.
"Good morning, everyone," she says cheerfully as she walks into the
living room, "If you’ll be seated we can start our breakfast
service." Balki and Larry get up to move to the kitchen table.
Mary Anne motions to Balki’s coat and asks, "Can I put this in the
overhead bin for you, sir?" "Oh sure," Balki agrees.
Mary Anne takes the coat, revealing Balki is wearing his Spiderman pajamas.
"Now come on, Cousin," Balki says, "How she’s going to get
better if she don’t practice?" "Oh," Larry sighs with
frustration. "Now, window or aisle?" Balki asks, motioning to
the two chairs set at the table. "Window," Larry moans.
They sit down at the table where two place mats and cups are set in front of
them. Mary Anne wheels a trolley cart over to them. "For those
of you seated on the left side of the aircraft, we’re passing over
Chicago," she informs them. Balki leans over Larry to look out the
window.
"Would
you care for some coffee?" Mary Anne asks, holding a tray and coffee pot.
"Please," Balki and Larry reply, placing their cups on the tray for
Mary Anne to fill. Once done, they take the cups back, saying, "Thank
you." Balki clinks Larry’s glass as they begin to take a sip.
"Balki, would you like pancakes or scrambled eggs?" Mary Anne asks.
"I would like pancakes, please," Balki smiles. "Larry, what
would you like? Pancakes or scrambled eggs?" Mary Anne asks.
"I’ll have pancakes, too," Larry answers. "Oh, I’m
sorry . . . we just ran out of pancakes," Mary Anne sighs, "Would eggs
be all right?" "Fine," Larry sighs. Mary Anne takes
two covered plates from the lower part of the trolley and places them in front
of Balki and Larry. "Well, enjoy your meal," she says, "If
you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go help out the gang in coach."
Mary Anne rolls the trolley back into the kitchen and then leaves.
"Balki,
Mary Anne has to go!" Larry insists, "She is driving me crazy!"
"Come on, Cousin," Balki sighs, "If Mary Anne moves out how will
the girls ever get back together?" "Balki, it’s been a
week!" Larry notes. "Shhh!" Balki shushes Larry.
Larry speaks more quietly. "It’s been a week and . . . and
they’re still not talking. They pass each other on the stairs, ice forms
on the walls. Balki’s, there’s no telling how long this thing is gonna
go on." "Well, Cousin, I . . . I can’t ask my girlfriend to
move out," Balki says, "Anyway, I like having her around. The
way she combs her hair, the way she sips her tea, the way she’s changed my
life . . . no . . . no . . . you can’t take that away from me."
"Well, great," Larry moans, "In the meantime I’m losing my
girlfriend. Jennifer insists I’m harboring the enemy. She won’t
talk to me. No, Balki, it’s over. Mary Anne has to go. I am
going to tell her that she just can’t stay here any more."
Larry
gets up from the table but Balki does as well, blocking Larry’s path.
"Get out of my way," Larry says. "Ha," Balki says
seriously. Larry tries stepping around Balki but Balki matches his step.
Larry tries the other direction and Balki does the same. They keep
matching step for step, ending up dancing together. Larry motions more
fluidly so Balki gets caught up in the dance and they do-si-do around each
other. At the first opportunity Larry makes a break for Balki’s bedroom.
They run across the living room, Balki taking the long way around the couch.
Larry looks back and doesn’t see Balki, not realizing Balki has sneaked
between Larry and the bedroom door. Larry tries to knock on the door but
instead knocks on Balki’s head. Larry turns to see Balki and gasps, then
Balki grabs Larry by the nose and leads him away from the door.
"Balki, I’m going to tell Mary Anne
she just can’t stay here any more and nothing you can do or say will change my
mind!" Larry insists. Both he and Balki inhale and face each other
down. Mary Anne enters from the bedroom, hiding something behind her
back, and announces, "Surprise time!" "Mary Anne, there’s
something I have to say to you . . . " Larry begins. "Well,
before you do," Mary Anne interrupts, "There’s something I’d like
to say to both of you. I just want to thank you for letting me stay here
and as a token of my appreciation . . . I want you to have these watches."
She pulls two open boxes from behind her back and hands them to the guys.
"Those look expensive," Larry notes. "Oh they are!"
Mary Anne confirms, "I bought them in Geneva. I was going to give
them to you for Christmas but you guys have been so good to me . . . I just
couldn’t wait. This one’s for you." She hands Larry a watch
and kisses him on the cheek. "And this one’s for you," Mary
Anne says to Balki, who leans in for his kiss on the cheek. Mary Anne
grabs Balki and bends him over backwards to kiss him on the lips. "Wwowww!"
Balki gasps, then says, "Cousin, was there . . . something you wanted to
say to Mary Anne?" "Yes, but Mary Anne, listen . . . "
Larry stammers, "Look, I . . . I . . . I just have to tell you that . . .
uh . . . well, look, you, you just can’t . . . know what a joy it is having
you stay with us." On Larry’s smile to Mary Anne, the scene fades
to black.
Act
two begins some time later. Larry is sitting at the kitchen counter,
talking on the phone. "Jennifer, I am not taking sides in this
thing," Larry says into the receiver, "I’m not the one who invited
Mary Anne to stay here. No, no, Jennifer, I’m warning you . . . if you
hang up on me again I am not calling you back. He . . . hello?"
Larry pushes down the button to hang up, looking exasperated. He
immediately dials a number and waits for an answer. Balki bursts through
the front door, crying, "Cousin, good news!" "Balki, Mary
Anne is outta here!" Larry insists as he hangs up the phone.
"Cousin, I came up with a plan to get Jennifer and Mary Anne back
together!" Balki explains. "Well, good," Larry says,
"Then maybe we can work on a plan to get Jennifer and me back
together. Now what’s your plan?" "I reminded Mary Anne
that her television set was still upstairs and she went up to get it!"
Balki says happily.
Larry
stares at Balki with confusion. "Cousin, don’t you see?" Balki
asks, "When Mary Anne walks in that room and she sees Jennifer and they
start talking, the floodgates of friendship will open up and irrigate them both
with the milk of human kindness!" Larry just stares at Balki in
disbelief. The front door opens and Mary Anne enters, fuming.
"I don’t believe it!" she cries, "That witch upstairs changed
the locks on the doors!" Mary Anne storms to the kitchen window and
opens it, leaning out to call upstairs. "Hey, Miss
Have-A-Friend-For-Twenty-Years-Then-Stab-Her-In-The-Back!"
"Yeah? What is it, Beans-for-Brains?" Jennifer calls down.
Mary Anne pulls back in the window and gives Larry and Balki a look of hurt
disbelief. She leans out the window again and calls, "I want my
television back!" "Fine," Jennifer replies. Mary Anne
comes back in the window and walks to the counter, looking confident, saying,
"Well, I guess I told her!"
A
moment later a television set comes crashing down onto the fire escape outside
the window, breaking into pieces. "That does it! I’ll show
her!" Mary Anne announces, walking around the counter to the front door.
"Mary Anne, what are you gonna do?" Larry asks. "I’m
going to go out and buy a new television!" Mary Anne announces, then she
storms out the door. Balki looks at Larry in shock. "It’s a
good thing I didn’t remind Mary Anne about her refrigerator," he notes.
"All right, Balki," Larry says, walking to the couch, "It is time
to take direct action and I have a plan!" "Oh God," Balki
gasps. "Balki, if we don’t do something, Jennifer and Mary Anne may
never get back together," Larry points out, "and the two of us are
gonna spend the rest of our lives with our tray tables in the upright
position." "Let’s hear the plan," Balki suggests.
They both sit down on the couch to go over the plan.
That
night, Larry is sitting on the couch with Jennifer. "Thanks for
understanding, Jennifer," Larry says, "I’m glad we’re talking
again." "Well, I don’t know, Larry," Jennifer says in a
flirtatious manner, "I mean, um . . . I’m living alone now. I
thought that, um . . . maybe we could go up to my place and, um . . . put on
some soft music and, uh . . . decide what to do." Larry can’t
believe what he’s hearing. "Now?" he asks.
"Now," Jennifer says without hesitation. "Oo-kay,"
Larry agrees, getting up from the couch with her to leave. "Yeah . .
. yeah . . . yeah . . . " he mutters as they start for the door. But
then he remembers the plan and stops, saying, "No . . . no . . . no."
He slowly leads her back to sit on the couch. "Jennifer, I . . . I .
. . I really think it would be better if, uh . . . we just stay here and watch
TV." Larry looks as if he can’t believe he is saying this.
"Wait
a minute," Jennifer says, "You would rather stay here and watch TV
than go upstairs with me?" Larry really has to think about this,
struggling with himself. "Yeah," he finally confirms with a
pained voice. Jennifer doesn’t know what to think. The front door
opens and Balki enters with Mary Anne. "Mary Anne!" Jennifer
cries, jumping to her feet. "Jennifer!" Mary Anne cries in
return. "Well, isn’t this the darnedest surprise?" Larry asks.
"Cousin Larry! Jennifer!" Balki attempts to act surprised,
"Well, slap my face and call me Zsa Zsa!" Jennifer looks at
Larry and understands. "Oh . . . so now I see what’s going
on," she says, heading for the door. "Now, now, hold on,"
Larry says, running to head her off, "Now, now, come on! Come on!
Jennifer, just a minute." He steps in front of her behind the couch
and she grabs him and flings him over the back of the couch and out of her way.
Balki
locks the front door with a key and stands in front of it to block Jennifer.
"Not so fast, pilgrim!" he says in a John Wayne voice. "Balki,
give me the key," Jennifer demands, holding out her hand. "I
don’t think so!" Balki replies, "Ha!" "Well then,
give me the key!" Mary Anne insists, walking over to Balki and
trying to wrestle it from him. "Double ha!" Balki resists.
Both girls start tickling him and Balki cries, "Stop it! Stop
it!" Balki tosses the key to Larry. The girls run to Larry,
Jennifer saying, "Larry, give me the key." But Larry tosses it
over the couch to Balki. They run to the kitchen and the girls grab Balki,
who again throws the key to Larry. Larry has opened the window and tosses
the key outside before shutting it again. "Ha!" Balki and Larry
say, then they turn to Mary Anne and say, "Ha!" and finally turn to
Jennifer and give her a "Ha!" as well.
"There, now . . . the door is locked,
the key is gone, there’s no way out," Larry announces, "Now no one
is leaving here until you
girls sit down and get this mess settled." "Oh yeah?"
Jennifer asks, "Well, I’m calling a locksmith to get me out of
here." Jennifer walks to the phone on the counter and starts looking
in the phone book. "Call two locksmiths! I want to get out of
here, too," Mary Anne says, walking to the end table by the couch and
sitting on it. "All right, Balki," Larry sighs, "We’ve
done what we can. Let’s just forget it. These two are never gonna
get back together." "Oh come on, Cousin," Balki says,
"We can’t just give up. Just because two turtle doves want to fly
the coop don’t mean you make it easy for them and buy them tickets to
Miami." "Get me a locksmith, too," Larry tells Jennifer,
"I gotta get outta here. I am tired of this Mypos garbage.
‘Every barnyard has a silver lining.’ Give me a break."
"Well,
I was just trying to be nice," Balki says, "Something you might want
to try sometime, you big babasticki-head!" Jennifer and Mary Anne
watch this heated exchange with concern. "Well, let me tell you
something," Larry counters, "When you lie down with sheep . . . you
wake up with ticks." "Sticks and stones may hurt Shirley Jones
but nerds will never harm me!" Balki retorts, then storms away to his room.
"Boys!" Jennifer says with alarm. "Oh, is that supposed to
mean something?" Larry yells, following Balki, "You’ve lived in this
country for four years! Why don’t you learn the language?"
Balki returns to confront Larry. "I know enough of the language to
tell you what I think of you in most uncertain terms!" "Oh
yeah?" Larry says. "You’re short . . . you’re stubborn . . .
and your short!" Balki snaps. "This from a man who names his
shoes!" Larry remarks. "Well, if that bothers you maybe I’ll
just lace up Phil and Andy and walk right out of here!" Balki states,
heading for the front door and getting his coat.
"Balki,
I can’t believe you’re doing this!" Mary Anne cries, running to him.
"Guys! Guys, you can’t just throw away a friendship like
that!" Jennifer protests, joining them. "Why not?" Larry
asks, "I can’t stand living with this guy. I’ve dreamed of living
alone! Get yourself another roommate." "I will!"
Balki says, "Roommates are a dime a dance!" "But good
friendships aren’t!" Mary Anne cries, "You can’t let petty
disagreements break them up." "Petty disagreements?" Larry
asks, "What? Like moving out because someone insults your hair
color?" "That happened to you, too?" Mary Anne asks in
amazement. "Uh, Mary Anne, they’re . . . they’re talking about
us," Jennifer explains, "They’re trying to show us that we’re
letting petty disagreements break up a friendship." "Now come
on, girls," Balki says as he hangs up his coat, "This has gone on long
enough. It’s time for you to say you’re sorry."
Larry and Balki direct Mary Anne and
Jennifer to step toward each other. They stand for a moment, neither one
wanting to
begin. Finally Jennifer says, "I’m sorry, Mary Anne."
"I’m sorry, Jennifer," Mary Anne replies immediately. They hug
each other. Balki and Larry share a smile. "Thanks for showing
us how silly we were," Mary Anne says to the guys. "Oh,"
Balki sighs, stepping between them and putting one arm around each, "You
made it easy." He kisses Jennifer on the forehead and Mary Anne on
the lips before stepping over to Larry. "Hey . . . good friends are
hard to come by," Larry notes. "Cousin Larry’s right,"
Balki agrees, "We’re all very lucky." "Hey, I got a great
idea," Larry says, "Why don’t we all go out to dinner and
celebrate?" "That’s a great idea!" Mary Anne smiles.
"But we’re locked in," Jennifer reminds them. "No,"
Larry says, pulling a key out of his pocket and holding it up, "This is the
real key." He walks to the door and tries the key in the lock, but it
doesn’t work. On their looks the episode ends.
Script Variations:
There are a some very
notable differences between the Revised First Draft script dated January 15,
1990 and the final episode which aired:
- The
production schedule for the week shows this episode was filmed on January 18th,
a Thursday night. A note on the schedule shows that the hurricane set was
due to be "struck" (taken down) that week as well. Curiously,
the date shown for set construction reset and looping for the Nightmare Vacation
set is listed as December 15! This was simply a typo, as it was corrected
in the production notes included with the shooting draft (see below.)
- In this version, the
episode begins with everyone playing Scrabble (although in the script it is just
referred to as a "word game.") They are having a good time.
Larry adds up his score. "Twenty-eight and a double word score of
fifty-six giving me a total of four hundred twenty-five. Two hundred
better than my closest challenger. I love this game. It's your turn
Mary Anne." Mary Anne quickly takes the tiles from her tray and
places them on the board. "There," she says.
"S-Y-Z-Y-G-Y?" Jennifer asks, then starts adding up her total.
"Wait a minute," Larry protests, "There's no word spelled
s-y-z-y-g-y. I challenge." "No, Cousin, syzygy is a real
word. Mary Anne, where did you learn the Myposian word for severe tire
damage?" "Sorry, no foreign words," Larry reminds them.
Larry picks up the dictionary and begins looking for the word. "Mary
Anne, that word is worth three hundred forty points," Jennifer notes,
"If it's good you'll win." Larry is still looking through the
dictionary. "She hasn't won yet. It ain't over till Noah
Webster sings." "Boy, I miss that little guy's show," Balki
sighs. "Syzygy," Mary Anne recites from memory, "The nearly
straight line configuration of three celestial bodies in a gravitational system.
Syzygy." They all stare at Mary Anne a beat. "Sometimes
things just come to me," Mary Anne explains. "She's right,"
Larry confirms, closing the dictionary and adding, "I hate this game."
"Well, why don't we play a different game?" Balki suggests,
"Jennifer, what was the game you brought down with you?"
Jennifer picks up a box and explains, "It's called the Truth Game."
"Oh, I don't know, Jennifer," Balki says, "Maybe we should do one
Cousin Larry can play." "We can all play it," Jennifer
assures him, "You take a turn answering the questions that are on these
cards. There are no winners or losers but you learn a lot about each
other." "That sounds like fun," Balki says excitedly,
"Can I go first? Can I go first?" Jennifer opens the game
and removes two packets of cards. "Okay. But I should warn you,
if you refuse to answer the question you'll have to do something
embarrassing." "I'm gamey," Balki replies. Jennifer
removes one of the cards from the packet. "Alright, Balki.
'What bothers you the most about the person on your left.?'" It's
Larry. "Either tell the truth or run around the room clucking like a
chicken," Jennifer says. "Can I do both?" Balki asks
"No," Jennifer answers. "Do your chicken," Larry
encourages Balki, then tells the girls, "It's really good."
"Come on, Balki. Answer the 'truth' question," Mary Anne says.
Balki answers that Cousin Larry doesn't give himself enough credit all the good
things he does. Larry looks proud. Jennifer and Mary Ann stare at
him a beat. "We should have gone for the chicken," Jennifer says
with disappointment. "I'm emotionally drained," Balki sighs,
"Okay, Mary Anne, your turn." The script follows the same
dialogue as they tell Mary Anne to answer the question instead of singing a
Barry Manilow song and Mary Anne finally says that Jennifer's habit of
correcting everything she does bothers is a fault. After Mary Anne asks,
"Who's next?" Balki answers, "Cousin Larry. Ask him a
question, Jennifer." But Jennifer keeps asking Mary Anne what she
means. "Jennifer, you're holding up the game," Mary Anne points
out. "Why don't I read my own card?" Larry finally tries.
"Shut up, Larry," Jennifer snaps at him, then insists Mary Anne
explains what she means. Mary Anne points out how every time she checks
the passengers seatbelts that Jennifer follows right behind and checks them
again. "Well . . . maybe I did that once . . . or twice. For
safety," she quickly adds. "Okay, that's settled," Larry
tries to hurry them along, "Let's move on." "And what about
the time you stood right behind me when I was doing the lifevest demonstrations
and you kept correcting my grammar?" Mary Anne asks. "Well, if
you're going to do something, you may as well do it right," Jennifer
explains. Balki looks to Larry and says, "They're good. I think
we're being hustled." "And don't think I don't know that you
rebalance my check book after I'm through doing it," Mary Anne adds.
Jennifer is angry now. "Only because I got tired of your rent check
bouncing every month." "Jennifer, Mary Anne . . . " Larry
coaxes them to stop. "You read my diary without permission,"
Mary Anne states. "Mary Anne, we were in seventh grade,"
Jennifer points out. "Jennifer, you read Mary Anne's diary?"
Larry asks with surprise. "She sure did," Mary Anne confirms,
"And the only reason I found out was because she corrected my
spelling." "I hate to stop you when you're doing so
well," Balki interrupts, "But it's Cousin Larry's turn."
Jennifer says to Mary Anne, "We'll finish this upstairs.
Goodnight," then exits in a huff. The guys are stunned. Mary
Anne follows Jennifer, yelling, "And another thing: you don't take
criticism well." After Mary Anne exits, Balki says, "Wow.
I wonder if they play as good at home as they do on the road?"
- Later
in the apartment, Larry and Balki are cleaning the dishes in the kitchen.
"I hope the girls have made up by now," Larry says, "They really
seemed very angry." "Cousin, they weren't angry," Balki
argues. There is a knock at the door and Balki goes to answer it.
"You just thought they were because they are so good at playing the Truth
Game," Balki explains and he crosses to the door. Mary Anne is there
and says she's moving out and when Balki asks why she says she'd rather eat
glass than live with Jennifer. Balki's reaction after Larry says he
doesn't believe it is, "Cousin Larry is right. Glass will wreak havoc
with your digestive system." After Larry points out to Mary Anne that
Jennifer is her best friend and Mary Anne counters with "You mean ex-best
friend," Balki says, "Cousin, you were right when you said they were
fighting. You hit the nail with your head." Mary Anne says
she's going to stay in a hotel and Balki insists she stays there, which Larry is
concerned about. After going back and forth like in the final episode,
Larry says "I don't know, Balki. Mary Anne seems to have her heart
set on a hotel." "But why, Cousin?" Balki asks, "We've
got everything a hotel has . . . except an ice machine. What do you say,
Mary Anne?" After Mary Anne goes to Balki's room, Larry tells Balki
he's made a big mistake in putting them in the middle of the girls' fight.
"But, Cousin, we're helping a friend in need," Balki says.
"Balki, I know your intentions are good but we shouldn't interfere,"
Larry explains, "If Mary Anne wants to go to the hotel we should let her
go." "But why, Cousin?" Balki asks, "You know they'll
make up tomorrow. Why should she have to pay for a hotel? Though she
did seem to be looking forward to it. Perhaps we should leave a mint on
her pillow to make up for it." "But, Balki, what if they don't
make up tomorrow?" Larry asks, "Or the next day? Or next week?
Or even in a month?" "Cousin, get real," Balki scoffs,
"If we keep Mary Anne in the building she and Jennifer will pass each other
on the stairs. They'll start to talk and in no time they'll realize how
foolish they've been. And if that doesn't work, we'll do it the Myposian
way. We'll tie them together at the ankles until they make up."
"Okay. She can stay," Larry concedes. "I knew your
heart would open up," Balki smiles. "After all, Mary Anne is a
flight attendant," Larry points out, "She'll be gone most of the time.
I guess if she's not here I won't mind having her around."
"That's not quite the humanitarian attitude I anticipated but I'll take
it," Balki sighs. Mary Anne enters from Balki's bedroom and says,
"I want to thank you guys again for letting me stay here."
"You're quite welcome," Balki says, "We wouldn't have it any
other way." "Actually, it couldn't have happened at a better
time," Mary Anne adds, "I have the next three weeks off so I'll have
lots of time to just sit around and decide what I want to do with my life after
Jennifer." Larry is stunned. Balki considers the possibilities.
This was supposed to be the end of Act One.
- Act
two begins when Larry exits his bedroom in pajamas and first startles Mary Anne
in the bathroom and then crashes into the ironing board. The description
of the ironing board action is greatly simplified in this version. Balki
comes in carrying the gas station key and Larry says Mary Anne has to go and
that he hasn't seen the inside of their bathroom for a week. The scene is
the same until Mary Anne starts their "breakfast service."
"Would you care for some juice?" Mary Anne asks. "What kind
do you have?" Balki asks, playing along. "She has the same kind
she had yesterday," Larry says impatiently, "And the day before that,
and the day . . . " Mary Anne checks her supply and answers, "We
have orange, tomato and grapefruit." Balki thinks about this and then
answers, "I'll have orange please." Mary Anne hands Balki a
small can of orange juice and a cocktail napkin. "Sir?" Mary
Anne asks Larry, who is not enjoying this. "No, thank you."
"Coffee?" Mary Anne asks. "Please," Larry and Balki
both answer, and set their cups on her tray so she can pour them some coffee.
"Balki, would you like pancakes or scrambled eggs?" Mary Anne asks.
"I'll have pancakes. Thank you," Balki replies. "Good
choice," Mary Anne says, "The eggs are awful. Larry, what would
you like?" "I'll have pancakes, too," Larry says.
"Oh, I'm sorry we just ran out of pancakes," Mary Anne apologizes,
"Would eggs be all right?" "Fine," Larry says, losing
his patience. Mary Anne goes to the refrigerator, takes out two plastic
trays and puts them into the microwave. "Breakfast will be ready in a
minute and forty-five seconds. In the meantime, I'll get you some reading
material." Mary Anne crosses into Balki's room. The dialogue
between Larry and Balki after she leaves is the same until Larry says,
"They pass on the stairs and ice forms on the walls. There's no
telling how long this thing could last. And I have had it with listening
to aerobic tapes at six in the morning. Everytime I sit down to a meal I
have to take my silverware out of a little plastic bag. I watch television
and she hands me a bag of honey roasted peanuts. Jennifer insists I'm
harboring the enemy and she won't talk to me." Larry says he's going
to tell Mary Anne she has to leave. Balki blocks his path and says,
"I don't think so." Larry takes a step to the side. Balki
again blocks his path. They repeat this three times, then Larry fakes
left, goes right and makes a mad dash for Balki's room. Balki dives and
tackles Larry onto the couch. They wrestle for a beat. "I'm
sorry, Balki. You were right," Larry says. "Thank
you," Balki replies. "I don't know what I was thinking,"
Larry adds, "Sorry, buddy." They sit up and gather themselves.
"I'm glad you can see it my way, Cousin," Balki sighs. They take
a deep breath. Larry gives Balki a reassuring smile then makes another mad
dash for Balki's bedroom door. Balki jumps over the couch and runs after
Larry. He catches him and wraps his arms around him in front of the
bedroom door, just as Mary Anne opens it. Larry says there's something he
has to say to her, but she starts in saying she has something she'd like to say
to them. "I want to thank you for letting me stay here. I know
I'm not the easiest person to live with but you've been great. You've
never complained about my playing aerobics tapes at dawn, tying up the bathroom
or accidentally giving Larry's new suit to Goodwill." "My new
suit?" Larry asks. "Anyway, it's really nice to know I have
special friends I can count on," she says, and then she gives them the
watches, explains they are from Geneva and says she was going to give them to
the guys at Christmas but she couldn't wait. The rest of the scene is the
same.
- When
the next scene starts, Larry is on the phone with Jennifer.
"Jennifer, I'm not really taking sides in this thing. I'm not the one
who invited Mary Anne to stay with us. Jennifer, don't hang up.
Please, don't hang up." Larry hangs up the phone and Balki enters.
"Cousin, we're been wrecking our brains trying to get Jennifer and Mary
Anne back together. And I've got it." "Good, maybe they we
could work on a way to get Jennifer and me back together," Larry sighs,
"What's your idea?" Balki says he reminded Mary Anne that her
television was still upstairs. Larry is dubious and asks, "That's
going to get them together?" "Well, of course it is. Don't
be ridiculous," Balki says, "When Mary Anne gets up there and starts
talking to Jennifer, the floodgates of friendship will open and the drought in
their relationship will be over." The rest of the scene is the same
until Balki asks to hear Larry's plan. "We'll get the girls together
here in the apartment," Larry explains, "You tell Mary Anne I've taken
Jennifer out to the movies, and I'll tell Jennifer you've taken Mary Anne out to
the movies." "Cousin, it's brilliant," Balki beams, then
thinks and asks, "Perhaps there's more." "There is,"
Larry continues, "I'll ask Jennifer to come down here, and you bring Mary
Anne down here. When they both get inside the apartment, we'll lock them
in and not let them out until they settle this thing." "It is
brilliant, Cousin," Balki says, "I'll get some dip."
-
Later that night, Larry and Jennifer enter the apartment and cross to the couch
and sit. "Larry, I'm sorry I hung up on you this week," Jennifer
apologizes, "And I'm sorry for all those short jokes. It's just that
you've been very chummy with Mary Anne through all of this. It's almost
like you're siding with her." "Jennifer, that's
ridiculous," Larry replies, "Mary Anne knows I'm on your side.
And believe me, we're not on the best of terms." "Well, I should
hope not," Jennifer says, then notes, "Nice watch. Is it
new?" Larry is wearing the watch Mary Anne gave him. "Yes
. . . yes it is," he says nervously, "I bought it myself. Just a
little gift to me, from me. Just for myself. A gift. For
myself." He changes the subject. "So, what do you say we
stay here and watch a little TV?" This is when Jennifer suggests they
go back up to her place and Larry refuses. "Wait a minute,"
Jennifer says suspiciously, "You'd rather watch TV than go upstairs with
me? Does this have something to do with getting me and Mary Anne together
again?" Larry feigns shock. "Jennifer, I think you know me
a little better than that." When Mary Anne and Balki enter and the
girls are surprised, Balki says, "Well, shave my head and call me Kojak."
After they lock the girls in Larry says, "There. Now no one is
leaving until we get this mess settled." "And how are we going
to do that?" Mary Anne asks. "By playing the truth game,"
Larry answers. "Well, you're playing without me," Jennifer says,
"I'm calling a locksmith to get me out of here." Mary Anne
doesn't tell her to call her a locksmith in this version. When Jennifer
goes to the phone, Balki says, "Cousin, I knew this wouldn't work."
"If you had stuck to my plan, it would have," Larry argues.
"Cousin, you told me to lock the girls in the apartment and that's exactly
what I did," Balki points out. "Balki, you were supposed to lock
them in the apartment, not us," Larry points out.
"Oh, well I guess that was the part of the plan you forgot to tell
me," Balki notes. "I thought it was obvious," Larry says,
"But I forgot who I was dealing with." "And I forgot whose
plan it was. I should have known it was doomed from the beginning,"
Balki says, "Why don't we ever try my plans?" "Well,
there's a good reason for that, Mr. 'This Is The Way We Do Things On Mypos,'"
Larry counters. "Well, let's hear it, Mr. 'This Is America And We'll
Do It My Way,'" Balki snaps. "Guy," Jennifer tries to
interrupt. "You know what's wrong with you?" Balki asks,
"You're stubborn. You're petty. And you don't separate your
whites from your colors." Larry points out that Balki names his shoes
and Balki says maybe he'll just lace up Phil and Andy and walk out.
"You mean you're moving out?" Larry asks. "Yeah,"
Balki replies. "Well, great!" Larry yells, "And take
Dimitri with you. He's stinking up the place." Larry grabs
Dimitri and shoves him at Balki. Jennifer says they can't throw away a
friendship like that and Larry says he can't stand living with "this
guy" and says he'll find another roommate. Balki agrees and says
roommates are a dime a dance. Mary Anne points out good friendships aren't
and that they can't let petty little disagreements break them up.
"Petty disagreements?" Larry asks, "You mean like moving out
because someone read your diary in the seventh grade?" "That
happened to you, too?" Mary Anne asks with amazement. "Mary
Anne, they're talking about us," Jennifer explains. "They
are?" Mary Anne asks. "Yes. They're trying to show us that
we're letting pretty disagreements break up a friendship." "Oh,
right," Mary Anne understands, "Did I look that silly when we were
arguing?" "I think we both did," Jennifer sighs, then
offers, "I'm sorry about the television." "Friendships are
very fragile and should be treated with great care," Balki points out.
Larry crosses to Balki and puts his arm around him. "Good friends are
hard to come by. We're all very lucky," Larry offers. "I
think apologies are in order," Balki notes, "I'll go first, just to
crack the ice. I'm sorry we tricked you girls." "That's
okay, Balki," Mary Anne says, "I'm sorry, Jennifer. Nothing
should come between you and I." "That's you and me,"
Jennifer corrects, then catches herself, "I'm sorry too, Mary Anne."
They hug. "Hey, I've got a good idea," Larry says, "Let's
all go out to dinner and celebrate." "But we're locked in,"
Jennifer reminds him. "All part of the plan, Jennifer," Larry
smiles as he holds up a key, "This is the real key." Larry
unlocks the door. The girls go out. "You know, Balki, I didn't
mean any of the things I said in that argument," Larry assures Balki.
"Oh, I know, Cousin," Balki says, "And I didn't mean most of the
things I said about you." "Thanks, Balki," Larry says, and
then asks, "Most?"
There are a still some
differences to be found in the Shooting Draft script dated January 17, 1990:
- The
production notes in the shooting draft have been changed slightly. Note
the "to be determined" schedule on Wednesday for "Shoot palm
leaves against cromakey back drop." A cromakey back drop is the same
as what is sometimes called "blue screen" or "green screen"
in which something in filmed in front of a large green screen. In post
production, the solid color in the background can be taken out and the image
superimposed over any other video. It's not entirely clear where or if
this special effect was used in the show. We can also see that a series of
TGIF spots were filmed this evening. You can read the scripts for these
below.
- In the beginning of this script, they are playing a board game.
They're having a good time. "It's my turn," Larry says, rolling
the dice. He moves his game pieces and curses, "Damn."
"Relationship question. Relationship question," Mary Anne says
excitedly. Jennifer pulls a card out of a box. "Here it
is," she reads, "'Describe the last dream you had about your
girlfriend.'" They all say "Ooh!" in anticipation of
Larry's answer. "Wait a minute," Balki says, "Cousin, I'll
get your notebook." "Sit down, Balki," Larry urges, then
asks Jennifer, "What's the alternative?" "Or you can cluck
like a chicken," Jennifer replies. "Well, I'm not going to cluck
like a chicken," Larry insists, then says, "Well, a few nights ago I
did have this dream where Jennifer and I were on the space shuttle. And we
were . . . well I . . . well, both of us were . . . weightless . . . so . . .
" Larry does a chicken imitation. "Nobody does poultry
like Cousin Larry," Balki smiles, "My turn." Balki rolls
the dice and moves his piece. This is where the episode begins in the
aired version. After Jennifer says, "Alright, Balki, pet peeve,"
Balki says, "I had a pet peeve on Mypos. They really shed."
"Balki, a pet peeve is something that annoys you," Jennifer explains.
"I know," Balki says, "All that fur. It's enough to drive
you crazy." "Just listen to your question," Larry urges.
Then Jennifer asks Balki the question, "What bothers you the most about the
person on your right?" After Mary Anne says, "This should be
good," Larry suggests, "Why don't we take a break?" In
answering the question, Balki asks himself in the middle, "How can I say
this diplomatically?" The script is the same then, except Larry says,
"I could roll the dice for you," to Jennifer instead of asking if he
should do it for her. After Jennifer points out to Mary Anne that she left
the oven on for three days, she adds, "You're right. You're not
careless. You're brainless." After Mary Anne makes the comment
about the mirror, Jennifer says, "Well, at least I take pride in my
appearance." "Oh yeah, is that why you snore like a
teamster?" Mary Anne asks. "I have a feeling they won't be
staying for dessert," Balki comments to Larry. After the girls storm
out in a rage, Balki tells Larry, "I'd have to give that round to Mary
Anne."
-
Balki's first line in the second scene is written as, "Cousin, they must
have made up. The shrieking has stopped." After Mary Anne says
she's going to stay at a hotel Balki says, "Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. You think I'm going to let my girlfriend stay in a hotel?
You want me to have a heart attack?" Later, when Jennifer comes down
to tell them Mary Anne moved out she says, "I've never been so mad."
After Jennifer finds out Mary Anne is staying with them and Larry says, "It
doesn't bother you, does it, Jennifer?" and Jennifer storms out, Balki
says, "Well, no news is good news." Larry turns on Balki and
backs him into the kitchen. This was supposed to be the end of Act One.
- In
the next scene, after Balki comes in from visiting the gas station bathroom he
sits on the couch and looks uncomfortable. Larry goes to the couch and
pulls Mary Anne's curling iron from under Balki. "Mary Anne's curling
iron," Larry explains. "Too bad," Balki sighs, "I
thought I had found my Mr. Microphone. Doobie, doobie, doo."
(This bit was filmed but cut from the final episode)
-
Interestingly enough, in this version of the script Mary Anne doesn't tell Balki
that the eggs are awful after he chooses pancakes. But when the show was
filmed in front of the audience, she did say this line, however it was cut from
the final episode anyway. After Mary Anne says she's going to help out the
girls in coach, Larry asks Balki, "This is first class?" "I
got us an upgrade," Balki explains. The rest of the scene is the
same.
- In
the next scene, when Balki comes in and announces he has a plan to get Mary Anne
and Jennifer back together, Larry asks what it is. "Are you sitting
down?" Balki asks proudly, "I walked the streets for hours.
Until the seed of an idea began to take root inside me. I didn't want to
rush it so I let it grow, I let it germinate in the hothouse of my imagination.
Soon it began to put forth tendrils and feelers and small buds that held the
promise of a solution. I nurtured it carefully. I plucked away the
weeds of doubt and watered it with diet cola. I was thirsty."
"Balki. The plan. Tell me the plan," Larry urges.
After Balki tells Larry that he reminded Mary Anne her television was upstairs
and she went up to get it, Larry comments, "Not much of a crop, Balki."
Once again, the scene continues after Balki asks to hear Larry's plan.
"You take Mary Anne out to a movie," Larry explains, "I'll invite
Jennifer down here to watch TV and keep her here until you get back with Mary
Anne. When they're here, we'll lock them in and won't let them out until
they settle this thing." "I hear it. I like it.
Let's do it," Balki agrees, "I just have one question: What movie
shall we see?"
- The
next scene also begins earlier, with Jennifer apologizing for hanging up on
Larry and for all the short jokes. She says she just feels Larry has been
taking Mary Anne's side. "Jennifer, that's ridiculous," Larry
scoffs, "She knows I'm on your side. And believe me, because of that,
Mary Anne and I are not on the best of terms." "Well, I should
hope not," Jennifer says, then notices Larry's new watch and says,
"Nice watch. It looks like one Mary Anne bought in Geneva."
"It does?" Larry asks nervously, "Hers is nothing like this
watch. Not that I've ever seen the watch she bought. I bought this
watch in a store. Not Geneva." He quickly changes the subject
and says, "So, what do you say we stay here and watch a little TV?"
This is when Jennifer suggests going upstairs. After Larry refuses to go
upstairs, Jennifer asks, "Larry, is there something I should know about
you?"
-
When the guys start to argue, Balki begins by saying, "Nice going, Cousin.
If bad planning was an Olympic event, you could go for the gold."
"Oh, my plans are no good?" Larry asks, "You should talk.
It was your plan that got Mary Anne in here in the first place."
"I was just trying to be a nice guy," Balki says, "You might try
it sometime." "I'm really sick of this, 'I'm-from-Mypos-I-love-every-living-creature'
stuff," Larry counters, then says the line about when you lie down with
sheep you wake up with ticks. "Oh yeah?" Balki asks,
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but birds will never harm me."
When Balki says he knows enough of the language to tell Larry what's wrong with
him he doesn't say "in most uncertain terms." "I know
what's wrong with me," Larry says, "I got you for a roommate."
"Larry!" Mary Anne says with shock. "Oh, let him
talk," Balki says, "This has been a long time coming. I'll tell
you what's wrong with you, Cousin. You're cruel. You're selfish.
And you undertip." The script is the same until Jennifer points out
to Mary Anne that the guys were just trying to show them how they were letting
petty disagreements break up a friendship. "Did we look that silly
when we were arguing?" Mary Anne asks. "I'm afraid you
did," Larry confirms. Balki says he thinks it's time they say they're
sorry. "Well, I will if she will," Jennifer says.
"Well, I will if she will," Mary Anne agrees. "I think you
both will," Balki says, pushing them together. They apologize and
hug. "You don't really snore like a teamster," Mary Anne says.
"I think your hair look great," Jennifer offers. "Thanks
for showing us how foolish we were," Mary Anne tells Balki and Larry.
"It was easy," Balki says modestly, "You gave us a lot to work
with." Larry suggests they go out to dinner and celebrate.
Jennifer reminds them they're locked in. "No problem," Balki
says, "I'll whip up a batch of sweet and sour sheep neck."
"Fire escape," Larry suggests, and he, Jennifer and Mary Anne head for
the fire escape as the show ends.
The scripts for the TGIF
promos which aired on January 26, 1990, were filmed after the filming of this
episode was completed and the studio audience was gone. You can view the
pages here and you can view the spots on our YouTube
Channel!

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