Filming Date: January 12, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 14.6 HH
PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE
EPISODE 88 - Nightmare Vacation
First Air Date: February 2, 1990
Filming Date: January 12, 1990
Nielsen Rating: 14.6 HH
Co-Producer: James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Barry O’Brien & Cheryl
Alu
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Guest Cast:
James Hampton: Mac MacIntyre
Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri can be seen
at the start of the episode in Balki’s arms.
Balki-isms:
" . . . I think I can safely say that
this time everything’s coming up noses."
"Well, if we all follow the golden
rule I don’t know why not."
"Cousin, um . . . call it intuition,
call it common sense, call the wind Mariah . . . "
Don’t be ridiculous: Said once in this episode.
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Wwowww!"
"Well, I’ll be snookered."
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry plans a vacation which turns out to
be a disaster
Balki grabs Larry by the nose
Balki's love of Wayne Newton is referenced
Interesting facts:
- It should be noted that Dimitri’s nose
is different in this episode. Instead of a black button-style nose he has
a simple stitched nose. To read more about this strange change in
Dimitri's nose during this season, check out this Dimitri's
page.
- The footage of the plane landing on the
island has been used in countless different series, including The Odd Couple in
the episode Felix the Calypso Singer.
- Balki makes a reference to Gilligan's
Island, saying the hotel they're staying in is nicer that the Howell’s hut.
Thurston Howell the III and his wife Lovely were millionaires who had the most
lavish of all the huts on the island, hence Balki's reference.
- Television fans will
undoubtedly recognize character actor James Hampton, who has not only made guest
appearances in numerous shows but has had regular roles in shows such as F-Troop,
The Doris Day Show, Teen Wolf, 1st & Ten and Full House.
Not only is
James prolific in front of the camera but behind the camera as well, directing
episodes for series such as Evening Shade, Grace Under Fire and Sister,
Sister, as well as also writing for television.
- A very funny and obscure
joke can be found in this episode when Mac off-handedly tells them that Papillion
was shot on the island. Papillion is a 1973 film starring Steve
McQueen and Dustin Hoffman and follows the true story of prisoner Henri
Charriere who was wrongly convicted of murder and sent to life in the hellish
penal colony on French Guiana, South America, and his repeated attempts to
escape.
- During the filming of this episode, Rebeca not
only talked about having everything from the soundstage blown into her eyes but
she actually suffered whiplash doing the stunts where they fall back against the
mattress! To hear her tell this story, check out her interview on A.M. Los
Angeles on our YouTube
Channel!
Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- The Club Paradise sign is superimposed over
the establishing shot of the hotel (you can see the image waver slightly over
the shot) and actually the hotel they used was rather a nice looking place, not
to mention busy since several people can be seen walking around outside, even
though no other people were ever seen inside. No mention of the
neighboring buildings are made, either.
- If you look closely, you can see the
wires holding Balki up and the effect they used to blur them out at one point.
Synopsis:
The episode begins in the apartment where
Mary Anne and Jennifer are sitting on the couch while Balki is seated on the arm
and holding Dimitri. Larry is sitting on the arm of the chair addressing the
other three. "You are not going to believe the vacation I have planned for
us," Larry says, "And it’s well within our budget. Wait here . . . I’ll
get the brochure." Larry stands up, assuring them, "You are going to
love it!" Larry runs into his bedroom. Jennifer and Mary Anne turn to Balki
as he gets down from the arm and sits next to them. "We’re not
going," Jennifer states. "Why not?" Balki asks. "When Larry
comes back you’re just going to have to tell him we’re not going,"
Jennifer insists. "Where is it we’re not going?" Mary Anne asks.
"It doesn’t matter," Jennifer tells her, "If Larry planned it,
we’re not going."
"Now, ladies, listen to me,"
Balki urges, "I know that in the past Cousin Larry’s trips have proved a
little life-threatening but this time things are going to be different. Now, I .
. . I took a peek at the travel brochure and . . . just between you and me, I
think I can safely say that this time everything’s coming up noses."
"Balki, I still haven’t gotten my luggage back from our last trip,"
Jennifer points out. "Oh, come on now," Balki says, "Come on . .
. Cousin Larry wants more than anything for you to have a good time. He . . . he’s
trying to make up for his past mistakes." "Balki, we know his
intentions are good . . . but that’s when he’s the most dangerous,"
Jennifer says worriedly. "Well, maybe we should give Larry another
chance," Mary Anne suggests, "I mean, after all, he did pay all of our
medical bills last time." "Well, my . . . my tetanus shot is up to
date," Jennifer sighs, "so . . . why not?" "Great,"
Balki smiles, "Thank you."
Larry comes out of the bedroom and Balki
goes back to sitting on the arm of the couch. "Now everything is set,"
Larry says and 
he returns to sit on the arm of the chair, "We are going to
Paradise." "Well, if we all follow the golden rule I don’t know why
not," Balki says. "No, we are going to Club Paradise," Larry
explains as he opens the brochure, "It’s a small resort island tucked
away in the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico." "Great, we’ll
go," Jennifer says. "Now just hear me out!" Larry asks,
"Because it’s got sunshine, beaches . . . " "Sounds
wonderful," Mary Anne chimes in. "Now I know I’ve messed up before,
but just give it a chance," Larry begs, "It’s got great shopping . .
. " "Cousin," Balki tries to interrupt. "Great food!"
"Cousin?" "Entertainment!" "Cousin!"
"What?" "I . . . I think they’re saying yes," Balki points
out. "They are?" Larry asks with surprise. Jennifer and Mary Anne nod.
"Well, that’s great!" Larry says happily, then he tells Balki,
"I told you there’d be no problem."
We see an establishing shot of a small
plane landing on the beach of a tropical island. A shot of Club Paradise shows
the resort 
where they are to stay as a two-story hotel with a bungalow theme.
The inside of the lobby is the epitome of run-down, shabby, cheap vacation
kitsch. A man wearing a pith helmet enters carrying their luggage with Larry,
Balki, Mary Anne and Jennifer following, taking it all in. "Well, here we
are, Mr. Appleton," the man says as he sets their luggage down by the front
desk, "Hope you enjoy yourselves. Someone will be right with you."
He
exits through a doorway. "Well, didn’t I tell you this was a great
vacation package?" Larry asks, "With free transportation from the
airport." "Larry, it was a mule cart," Jennifer points out.
"I don’t believe this place," Mary Anne gasps in shock. "I don’t
believe it either!" Balki adds, "This is nicer than the Howell’s hut
in ‘Gilligan’s Island.’" "Oh, come on," Larry says,
"It’s island! It’s native!" "It’s falling apart,"
Jennifer adds.
"I love this place!" Balki says
happily, "The whole sense of decayed elegance . . . fabulous!" "Jennifer, it’s got character," Larry
says, "Besides, we’ll
be spending most of our time on the beach anyhow. Come on . . . let’s check
in." Larry heads for the front desk but Balki runs across to him, saying,
"Oh, Cousin, Cousin, Cousin . . . can I . . . can I . . . can I . . . ring
the bell?" "Okay, you ring the bell," Larry smiles. Balki rings
the bell and smiles, saying, "I’m having fun already." The same man
who brought them to the hotel steps out, no longer wearing the pith helmet.
He
steps behind the desk and says, "Well hi there! Welcome to Club Paradise.
I’m
Mac MacIntyre and you are . . . ?" "Appleton . . . Larry
Appleton," Larry answers with confusion. "Well, we’re delighted to
have you," Mac says, "I’ll just get someone to help you with your
bags." He rings the bell and calls, "Front!" He then picks up
some keys sitting in a shell and walks around the get the bags. "Just
follow me," he says.
In the next scene we see Mac leading them
down a hallway to two doors. "They shot ‘Papillion’ here, you
know," he tells them. He sets their bags down and hands them two sets of
keys. "Well, here are your keys," he says, "And uh . . . I just
hope that you have a wonderful weekend in Paradise. Mi casa es su casa."
Mac walks away. "Well thanks, Mac," Larry offers, then he turns to the
girls and asks, "Well, what d’ya say we take a swim, go into town and
shop ‘til we drop?" "Okay," Jennifer agrees, "We’ll
change and meet you in the lobby." Balki and Larry walk to their door while
Jennifer and Mary Anne walk to theirs. "Bye bye," Larry and Balki
coyly say
to the girls in unison. "Bye bye," Jennifer and Mary coyly reply in unison.
They turn the keys in their respective locks and walk into their rooms.
On the other side of the doors we see them
all walk into what is actually the same room. They are each standing behind
their doors so they can’t see each other yet. "Interesting
wallpaper," Mary Anne comments. Balki and Larry eye one another and Balki
says, "Boy, these walls are thin! It sounds like Mary Anne is right here in
the room with us." Balki and Mary Anne both step into the room and see one
another as Jennifer and Larry close the doors behind them, then walk to Mary
Anne and Balki before seeing each other. "Boy, these walls really are
thin!" Balki gasps, "I can see through them! I wonder if they can see
us?" Balki starts making faces at the girls, who just stand staring in
disbelief but don’t react. "No, they can’t," Balki reports.
"Balki!"
Jennifer says, making Balki jump back with fright. "What are you doing in
our room?" Jennifer demands to know.
"Well, we’re not in your
room," Larry argues, "This is our room. I . . . I think."
Larry
and Jennifer look at their keys. "No," Jennifer says. "Well, let’s
see," Larry suggests, leading the way through the door he and Balki came
through with everyone following. "We’re in 101 . . . you’re in
102." They come through the door Jennifer and Mary Anne entered to find the
same room. "Wwowww!" Balki says, "This room is nicer than
ours!" "Balki," Larry says. "Yes?" "This is the
same room," Larry informs him. "Well, I’ll be snookered," Balki
comments, then cheerfully jumps on the rather hard bed and exclaims, "Well,
Cousin, this is great! Now when you call out Jennifer’s name in your sleep she’ll
be right here!" Jennifer looks at Larry in shock and Larry is embarrassed.
"Uh . . . uh, Larry, this is not going to work," Jennifer insists.
"Well, no problem," Larry assures her, "I’ll call the desk and
. . . and get this all straightened out."
Larry walks to the telephone. "Ask
them to send up another bed," Mary Anne suggests. "And another
wall," Jennifer adds. Larry waits for an answer on the phone. "Uh,
hello, Mac? Yeah, yeah, this is Larry Appleton. Yeah, listen . . . we only have,
uh, one room and we did pay for two. Simple math would tell us that we’re
exactly one room short. Yeah, do you get my point? Uh huh . . . I see.
Well, let
me get back to you on that." Larry hangs up the phone. "What did he
say?" Jennifer asks. "Well, there are two other rooms," Larry
relates, "Uh, one is a little flooded . . . and the other has snakes."
Jennifer gasps. "But they’re not poisonous!" Larry assures her,
"He said we could take our pick." "Well, Cousin, what kind of
fool would want a flooded room?" Balki asks, "We’ll take the
snakes." "Larry, you did it to us again!" Jennifer cries,
"Now let’s get our money back and get out of here . . . now!"
"Hey, there’s just a little problem
with the accommodations," Larry says, "I’ll work it out with Mac.
Hey, this place is gonna look great from the other side of a suntan."
"This is the worst vacation I’ve had with you since the last worst
vacation I’ve had with you!" Jennifer complains sharply and she storms
into the bathroom and shuts the door. "I’d better go talk to her,"
Mary Anne says, getting up and also going into the bathroom. "What’s with
her?" Larry asks Balki. Balki gets up from the bed and says, "Cousin,
um . . . call it intuition, call it common sense, call the wind Mariah, but, I
uh . . . I don’t think the girls are happy here. So, even though I love it, I
. . . I think we should leave." "Balki, I have put a lot of thought
and planning into this vacation," Larry says. "I know that,
Cousin," Balki nods.
"I need your support here! Now after
we get this room thing worked out I’m sure the girls will come around."
There is a double scream from the bathroom and the girls come running out into
the guys’ arms. "There’s a . . . there’s a . . . there’s a thing in
the bathtub!" Mary Anne cries. "Well, well, relax," Larry urges,
"Just relax! In tropical climates you’ve got to expect the occasional
insect or bug. Now, whatever it is, I’ll take care of it." Larry picks up
a newspaper and rolls it up, walking in a brave manner into the bathroom. There
is the sound of Larry pulling back the shower curtains and then he lets out a
loud scream and comes running out of the bathroom himself, looking shaken.
"What is it, Cousin?" Balki asks. "Well, it’s either a spider .
. . or a very hairy Volkswagen," Larry answers. On their looks, the scene
fades to black.
Act two begins with Larry and Balki in the
lobby of the hotel playing a game of Red Hands. "Okay, my turn," Larry
says, and they put out their hands, Larry’s on the bottom with his palms up
and Balki’s on the top with his palms down. "Okay, okay," Balki
says. Larry pulls his right hand out and slaps the back of Balki’s left hand.
Balki laughs as he says "Ow!" then he says, "Okay . . . okay, my
turn!" They switch hand positions. Larry moves both hands and slaps
underneath the backs of Balki’s hands. Balki laughs. Larry then slaps the back
of Balki’s right hand. "Ow!" Balki cries. Larry slaps the back of
Balki’s left hand. "Ow!" Balki cries more seriously. Larry continues
to slap Balki’s hands with Balki crying "Ow!" after every hit until
Balki finally gets fed up and reaches over to grab Larry’s nose, making him
cry, "Ow!"
"Cousin, I . . . I know we’re
having the time of our lives," Balki begins, "but I . . . I don’t
think the girls quite share our enthusiasm for this place." "What are
you talking about?" Larry asks, "The girls are having a wonderful
time." Jennifer and Mary Anne enter. "Larry, I hate this place,"
Jennifer says, "There is no swimming pool, no golf course, and you have to
repel down a cliff to get to the beach." "And I don’t know why we
bothered to get all dressed up, there’s nothing to do," Mary Anne adds.
"Well, that amusement park next door looked like fun," Balki points
out. "Balki, that isn’t an amusement park," Jennifer corrects,
"That’s a refinery." "Okay, okay," Larry sighs, "You
wanna leave? We’ll leave." Mac enters, spraying the air with insecticide.
"Mosquitos," he explains, "Watch out for the dead ones. You could
turn an ankle."
"Mac, what time does the plane leave
for the mainland?" Larry asks. Mac checks his watch. "Uh . . . twenty
minutes ago. But there’s another one tomorrow." "All right, we can
leave tomorrow," Larry says, "In the meantime, let’s just try to
enjoy the time we’ve got here." "You know, I think we’re all
experiencing a sugar low," Balki notes, "Why we don’t go into town
and sample the island cuisine?" "Now that’s the spirit, Balki,"
Larry agrees, "Mac? Can you recommend a good restaurant on the
island?" "Oh, I sure could," Mac answers, and he reaches down to
pick up a square board which has a tablecloth and a vase of flowers glued to it.
He walks to a small checkerboard table with four chairs and places the board
over it, making it into a dining table. "Welcome to Chez Mac," he
smiles. "Oh!" Balki says excitedly, sitting down at the table.
"Do you have reservations?" Mac asks.
"Mac . . . this is a good
restaurant?" Larry asks skeptically. "Well, this is the, uh . . . the
only restaurant," Mac admits, "We did 
have a little Tex-Mex place on
the north beach but . . . it went under last week." "It went out of
business?" Mary Anne asks. "No, it really went under," Mac
explains, "It sank. We’ve got sinkholes all over the island."
He
laughs and walks away. "Well, well, why don’t we just, uh . . . eat
here?" Larry suggests, "I’ve got a good feeling about it."
"You do?" Jennifer asks, "Well, let’s eat here anyway."
They all sit around the table. Mac returns with some drinks in coconut shells
with cocktail umbrellas. "Hi, my name’s Mac. I’m to be your waiter this
evening," he says, "The specials are on the house but I will need the
little umbrellas back." He walks into the back again. "Well, now this
is nice, huh?" Larry asks, being cheerful, "This is what it’s all
about. This is why you get up in the morning. This is why you . . . "
"Put a sock in it, Larry," Jennifer stops him.
"Cousin, um . . . could . . . could I
. . . could I have a private word with you?" Larry sets down his drink and
follows Balki from the table as Balki tells the girls, "Excuse us."
Balki takes Larry to sit on the couch away from the girls. "This story is
about the most pig-headed pig farmer on Mypos . . . Oinki," Balki begins,
"One day, Oinki thought he had made the deal of his life on a prize pig.
Only when he got it home he discovered that it wasn’t a pig at all, it was a
dog in pig’s clothing. His family was going hungry because there was no bacon
but Oinki was stubborn. Even when his pig chased cars, buried bones and bit the
mailman, he refused to admit he’d made a mistake. Oinki’s family finally
left him on the day his pig had puppies. Because of his stubbornness, he had to
spend the rest of his days alone."
"What’s your point?" Larry
asks. "No matter what face you put on this hotel, it’s still a dog,"
Balki answers, "Now Cousin, your pig-headedness is costing you your
friends." "Well, I wanted so badly for Jennifer to enjoy this
trip," Larry sighs, "I thought this would be my chance to make up for
the . . . " "Yes, yes, Cousin, Cousin, Cousin," Balki interrupts,
"It’s over." They get up from the couch and return to the table.
No
one says anything for a moment. Then Larry finally admits, "All right, I
booked us on a trip to Hell. I’m sorry. We can leave on the plane tomorrow.
And I promise never to plan another vacation again." "Well, I guess we
can make it through one night," Mary Anne says. "Yeah, it’s not the
end of the world," Jennifer agrees. "Well, at least we can spend a
quiet evening and enjoy the peaceful solitude of a tropical island," Larry
smiles.
The doors suddenly blow open and a raging
wind blows through the lobby. There is the sound of something ripping and
tearing away. Mac hurries from the back and says, "Sorry, the kitchen’s
closed," as he gathers up their coconuts. "We just sat down,"
Larry points out, "How can it be closed?" "Okay, it’s not
closed," Mac admits, "It’s gone. Things like that happen in a
hurricane." He hurries away again. "Hurricane?" Jennifer
and Mary Anne cry. "Wait, wait, wait, don’t panic!" Balki urges
them, "I’ve been through hurricanes on Mypos! The first thing we have to
do is find the sheep!" They get up and run from the table. Larry remains
seated and his chair is slowly blown across the room with him in it, along with
the table and chairs.
We see the hotel room where the window is
blown open and everything is strewn about in disarray. Jennifer and Mary Anne
enter and are thrown by the wind against the bed, which is now stripped of all
bedding and pushed against the wall. Balki enters and tries to walk toward the
window, Jennifer and Mary Anne calling, "Balki! Balki!" But Balki is
bent backwards by the wind, also ending up falling across the bed between them.
Larry enters and sees everyone pinned to the bed. Larry makes his way toward the
window, fighting against the strong wind. He finally makes it and somehow
manages to get the window closed and locked, blocking out the wind. "All
right, we’ll be fine in here," Larry announces, "I think we’ve
seen the worst of it."
Balki takes Mary Anne’s hand and says,
"Mary Anne . . . if I die, I want you to have my . . . my Wayne Newton
albums." "Thanks, Balki," Mary Anne replies, then says,
"Jennifer, if I die . . . I want you to have all of my clothes and Balki’s
Wayne Newton albums." "Thank you, Mary Anne," Jennifer replies,
then she gets up and walks to Larry, saying, "And Larry, if I die . . . I’m
taking you with me." "Well, now wait a minute!" Larry says,
"What is all this talk about death? We are going to be fine. These tropical
storms pass quickly. They blow . . . and then they’re gone." No sooner
has Larry said this than the window blows in, shattering the shutters into
pieces and throwing Jennifer and Larry back across the bed. "Balki!
Do
something!" Mary Anne cries. "We’ve got to . . . we’ve got to
stick something in the window to block the wind!" Balki shouts. "The
mattress!" Larry calls, "We’ll cover the window with the
mattress!"
They all get up and get behind the bed,
lifting the mattress up by its edge. Slowly they push it forward, making their
way toward 
the window. The wind suddenly picks up and pushes all of them back
across the bed with the mattress falling on top of them. "The . . .
bathroom!" Larry cries. "Oh Cousin, you should have thought of that
before the hurricane!" Balki scolds. "No, I mean let’s take cover in
the bathroom!" Larry explains. "Oh!" Balki understands.
They
manage to push the mattress off of them and slowly get to their feet, Larry
taking the lead and the others clinging to one another behind him in a train.
"Follow me!" Larry directs. Clinging to each other, they make their
way, step by step, to the bathroom door. Larry opens the door to reveal the
bathroom walls are completely gone and the toilet is spraying water in a geyser.
"Good news!" Balki calls, "The spider’s gone!" The wind
picks up again and pushes Mary Anne, Jennifer and Balki back to the bed, pinning
them down again.
Larry hangs on to the bathroom door,
fighting against the wind. The door shuts and Larry grabs on to the wall frame,
hanging on for dear life as the wind blows so hard it sweeps him off his feet.
"Larry!" Jennifer calls. Larry ends up hanging onto the wall with his
legs straight back in the air. "Help! Balki! Help me!
Balki! Balki!"
Larry cries. Balki forces his way up from the bed and goes to help Larry,
calling, "Cousin!" Balki reaches up to grab Larry’s legs when the
wind sweeps him off his feet as well. They’re both hanging on for dear life
until the wind finally subsides and they both drop to the floor. Jennifer and
Mary Anne gets up and run to them. "Are you okay?" Mary Anne asks.
"Yeah," Balki replies. "Oh, I . . . I think we’ve finally seen
the worst of it," Larry says. The wind suddenly picks up again and suddenly
one entire wall of the room breaks away, flying off into the darkness. "Cousin!
Cousin, look!" Balki says, "You can see the refinery
from here!" They remain huddled on the floor as the wind continues to blow.
Back at the apartment, Larry and Balki
enter with their suitcases. Balki also has a gift bag. They both look exhausted.
Larry drops his suitcase. "Cousin, you what the best thing about going away
on vacation with you is?" Balki asks. "No, Balki, what’s 
that?"
Larry asks. "Coming back home alive," Balki answers, "I . . . I
just love it." They walk to the couch to sit down. "You know,"
Larry begins, "I think I’m gonna take a vacation from planning
vacations." "Oh, Cousin, you don’t have to do that," Balki
assures him. "I don’t?" Larry asks. "No!"
"No?" "When the girls and I were pulling you out of that sinkhole we decided to
never let you plan a trip again anyway," Balki explains. "I’m sorry
for ruining the entire weekend," Larry sighs. "Oh come on,
Cousin," Balki says, "It wasn’t a complete waste of time. I got some
neat souvenirs." "Oh, you didn’t buy one of those visors from Mac,
did ya?" Larry moans. "Well, of course not. Don’t be
ridiculous," Balki says, then he places the gift bag he brought with him on
the coffee table and asks, "Remember that spider we saw in the
bathroom?" The bag starts to move back and forth, much to Larry’s horror.
Script Variations:
There are a few differences between the Shooting Draft script dated January 11,
1990
and what aired:
- According to this script, Scene
"C" has been omitted. What Scene "C" happened to be we
don't know at this time, but it came between the time Mac took their bags in the
lobby and when they reached their rooms.
- In this version of the script, Balki
is in the apartment when Larry enters with Jennifer and Mary Anne, telling them
about the vacation he's planned for them. The script notes "They have
not been outside."
- When Balki is trying to convince the
girls to go on the trip, he tells them, "Just between (INDICATING MARY
ANNE) you and me and (INDICATING JENNIFER) you and me, and (INDICATING JENNIFER
AND MARY ANNE) you and you, I had a little peek at the brochure and I think
we're all in for a great time." "We are talking about Larry
Appleton, aren't we?" Jennifer asks.
- After Mary Anne (and not Jennifer)
notes that the transportation from the airport was a mule cart, Balki says,
"And wasn't it wonderful? I felt just like the King of Mypos during
his coronation parade." "Larry, I don't believe this
place," Jennifer says. "I don't believe it, either," Balki
adds, "I told you Cousin Larry wouldn't disappoint us."
- When Mac comes to the front desk and
asks who Larry is, Larry answers and Mac looks through the guest register.
"Wow," Balki comments, "Our mule cart driver looks just like
you." "Balki, that is our mule cart driver," Jennifer
says. "Well, that would explain the uncanny resemblance," Balki
says. When Mac comes out from behind the desk to take the bags, Jennifer
follows him and Balki comments, "He certainly is a
Mac-of-all-trades." Larry and Mary Anne follow Mac but Balki stays
behind to play with the bell. Larry and Mary Anne have to come back in to
take Balki away.
- The Papillion line is not in this
version of the script.
- In this script, when Jennifer storms
off to the bathroom Mary Anne follows right behind her. "I can't
believe this is happening to us again," Jennifer complains.
"Remember when we used to think Larry was the smart one?" Mary Anne
comments. (The latter line was filmed but not used)
- After Larry says that the thing in
the bathtub is either a spider or a very hairy Volkswagen, the scene
continues. "Larry, I will not share a bathtub with a spider that can
lift the soap," Jennifer insists, "We can't stay here."
"She's got a point, Cousin," Balki agrees, "After a couple of
baths we're bound to get emotionally attached to the little guy. Come time
to leave, they won't let us take him home. Who needs the
heartache?" "Okay, fine," Larry says, "You all want to
leave, go ahead. I'll just stay here and have a great time all by
myself." Balki and the girls pick up their bags and head for the
door. "Okay, okay," Larry says, "So the rooms aren't as
plush as I expected." "Or as numerous," Balki adds.
"What do you want me to do?" Larry cries, "Eat dirt? The
island is still beautiful. What do you say we spend three days enjoying
it?" Balki and the girls look at each other then drop their bags and
come back into the room. "I'll give you three hours," Jennifer
warns, "If things don't improve, we're out of here. Come on, Mary
Anne, let's find the pool." Mary Anne follows Jennifer, saying,
"I hope it's not that smelly, stagnant thing we passed on the way
in." The girls exit. Larry starts unpacking and tells Balki,
"See, I told you they'd come around."
- At the beginning of act two,
Balki and Larry are playing checkers instead of Red Hands (there is a
checkerboard in the lobby in the filmed episode). The checkers are made up
of black and white shells. Balki jumps several of Larry's shells.
"King me," he says and Larry does.
- After Jennifer tells Balki it's not
an amusement park next door but a refinery, Mary Anne says, "No wonder they
didn't have a gift shop."
- After Mac opens "Chez Mac"
and asks Balki, "Do you have reservations?" Balki replies, "Well,
I do have one reservation: It would be nice if you'd put those little paper
strips across the toilet seat." When Mac talks about the restaurant
that went under the week before, it's a sushi place and not a Tex-Mex place.
- After Larry says he has a good
feeling about eating at "Chez Mac," Jennifer says, "Well, I'm
hungry. Let's eat here anyway."
- When Balki takes Larry aside, Larry
says, "Balki, if this is a Mypos story, now is not the time."
"Cousin, just hear me out," Balki asks, "and I'm sure you'll see
the allegory is quite apropos." Balki tells the story of Oinki.
After he tells how Oinki had actually bought a dog in pig's clothing, he says,
"Now, here's where the story takes a tragic turn."
"Good. I was losing interest," Larry says. After Balki
says that Oinki spent the rest of his life alone, he adds, "Even his dog
ran away when Oinki tried to curl its tail."
- The hurricane scene is mostly the
same, except there are no references to them being pinned against the bed.
After Larry says "These storms pass quickly. They blow and then their
gone," the shutters blow off the wall and a palm tree comes through the
window. "And then they blow again," Larry adds. After
Balki says they need to stick something in the window to block the wind,
Jennifer says, "How about Larry?" The rest of the scene is the
same, except at the end the directions say "Larry is hit in the face with a
palm frond."
- The last scene is the same as what
aired.
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