Nielsen Rating: 14.6 HH
PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE
EPISODE 73 - Good Skates
First Air Date:
September 22, 1989
Nielsen Rating: 14.6 HH
Co-Producer:
James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley
Guest Cast:
Noon Orsatti: Grant Larkin
Terry Burns: The Announcer
Dimitri
Appearances: Dimitri can be seen sitting on the bookcase wearing roller
skates.
Balki-isms:
"I love the Big Brothers! First time I ever saw them on Saturday
Night Live I said to myself ‘Those guys are good!’"
"I love marathons! Will you get to meet Jerry Lewis?"
"I hate to dig up a can of worms."
"And until you tell the truth, Eva, Magda and Zsa Zsa will continue to be a
thorn in your sideburns."
"Boy, when you come clean you leave a ring around the tub!"
Don’t be ridiculous: Not said in this episode.
Other catchphrases
used in this episode:
"Oh my Lord!"
"That is correct."
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Balki looks into Larry’s mouth as Larry explains how to pronounce a specific
word
Balki laughs at his own joke
Larry falls down the stairs then calls up "I’m fine!"
Larry calls Wisconsin the "something" State to suit his needs, in this
case the "Barrel-Jumping State"
When Jennifer is about to forgive Larry she makes reference to something he did
as a "thing," in this instance, "the barrel-jumping thing"
Interesting facts:
- This season ABC moved the show to 9 p.m. on Friday nights.
- This was the first episode to be broadcast in
stereo.
- JoMarie Payton France was no longer on Perfect
Strangers, because starting this season she starred in her own spin-off series, Family
Matters. The pilot episode, titled The Mama That Came to Dinner,
debuted on this night right before PS. Behind the scenes, Family
Matters employed PS alumni Paula A. Roth as producer and co-executive
producers William Bickley and Michael Warren. Other familiar names from PS
gracing the production credits of the show were Robert Blair, Ronny Hallin,
James O’Keefe, Harriette Regan, Deni King, Kelly Sandefur and Robert Bramwell.
R. 
Robert Rosenbaum acted as executive in charge of production as well.
During the show's opening credits Harriette and family are seen riding bicycles
across the same bridge which Balki and Larry boated under in their own opening.
- What many fans don’t know is Balki and Larry
originally were to appear in the pilot episode. Unfortunately, their brief scene
with Harriette at the beginning of the show ended up on the cutting room floor.
As a result, to this day many people don’t even realize Family Matters was
a spin-off from Perfect Strangers!
- Also beginning this season was ABC’s Friday
night hosted lineup called TGIF (which stood for Thank Goodness it’s
Funny). Full House began the night at 8:00 p.m., followed by
Family Matters, Perfect Strangers and finally Just the Ten of Us (a
spin-off from Growing Pains), although on this season premiere night the
final show would be a special preview of Free Spirit. Making the
TGIF lineup so memorable were the filmed segments shown between the programs, each week featuring actors from one of the four shows,
introducing the programs as they aired. This tied the evening of family
entertainment together nicely and remains a fond memory for those who watched
ABC prime time television in the late 80's and early 90's.
- This season, Sam Anderson’s name was included
in the opening credits whenever he appeared. Rebeca and Melanie’s names
were switched in order so that Rebeca’s name appeared first during this
season. And for the first time, the characters’ names are listed after
the actors in the opening credits (with the exception of Bronson and Mark.)
- Interestingly enough, no one in the cast knew how to roller skate before
making this episode!
- On the first draft of the script there is a
banner which states it is the 75th episode. It also notes it
was the third episode for the season. The order of the episodes changed
when they aired, so the 75th episode would end up being The
Newsletter instead.
- During the first scene, Balki and Larry are
finishing dinner. Sitting on the table is a serving tray with a blue cover
on it. Ever wondered what was under that cover? Read the script
variations below to find out!
- The charitable organization, Big Brothers, is the focus of this episode.
Established in 1904 in America, Big Brother Big Sisters pairs mentors with
children who are in need of an older role model and friend. For more
information, you can visit their international website by clicking here.
- The Gabuggis were based on the famous Hungarian
actresses, the Gabor sisters, also named Eva, Magda and Zsa Zsa. Eva Gabor
was best known as the glamorous wife of Eddie Albert’s character in the cult
60's comedy series Green Acres. Zsa Zsa (the only surviving sister)
was making headlines in the summer of 1989 when she slapped a Beverly Hills
police officer after being 
stopped for a traffic violation. This incident
was undoubtedly still fresh in people’s minds, which is likely why this
reference to them was made in this particular episode.
- The establishing shot of Skateland doesn’t even
hide the fact it’s in Northridge, which is located in the San Fernando Valley
area of Los Angeles county (the "Chicago Big Brothers Skate-a-thon" on
the sign out front was supposed to divert our attention). The rink’s
website even states that it was seen on Perfect Strangers, as well as
many other television and feature films! You can visit them here.
-
Noon Orsatti, who plays the adept skater Grant Larkin, is a noted
stuntman who continues to perform and coordinate stunts in movies to this
day. His father, Ernie Orsatti, and nephew, Frank Orsatti, are also
stuntmen, and in keeping with the family tradition Noon’s sons are also
stuntmen! He is known in the fan world for his work on Star Trek VI:
The Undiscovered Country.
- Another Happy Days reference is made in
this episode when the announcer says that Cunningham Hardware will offer five
hundred dollars in the name of the person who jumps the most barrels.
Cunningham Hardware is the store Howard Cunningham owned in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
in that series.
- Two of the regular extras from the previous
season show up at the roller rink to watch the Skate-a-thon.
- Around this time, repeats of Perfect Strangers
began running weekday mornings on ABC.
Bloopers and
Inconsistencies:
- When Grant comes by he explains to Jennifer he just stopped by to drop
off his pledge sheets. But how did Grant know he could find Jennifer and
Mary Anne in the apartment below theirs?
- When the phone rings on Larry’s desk and he
sets down his file folder he places it on the corner of Balki’s work
table. There don’t seem to be any other files on the table, at least not
to the left or center. But when Balki skates into the scene, the folder on
the edge is gone and there are a bunch of folders laying on the table where
there were none before.
- In the close ups when Jennifer, Mary Anne and
Grant are cheering Larry on before he jumps the barrels, there is no one to
Jennifer’s immediate left (her right) but in the long shots there is a woman
standing right next to her.
Synopsis:
Larry and Balki are sitting at the dining table, finishing dinner. Larry
wipes his hands on a napkin and says, "Balki, that was a wonderful Myposian
dinner." "Oh," Balki says, waving away the
compliment. "Don’t spoil it for me by telling me what it was,"
Larry requests. "Okay, Cousin," Balki agrees, "The pig
bladder au jus will be my little secret." Larry reacts as if he is
about to gag. There is a knock at the front door. "I’ll get
it," Larry says, getting up from the table and walking over to open the
door. Balki follows him. Jennifer and Mary Anne enter, Jennifer
holding some papers. "Hi," Larry smiles. "Hi,
guys," Jennifer begins, "Um, Mary Anne and I are raising money for the
Big Brothers." Balki gasps, saying, "I love the Big
Brothers! First time I ever saw them on Saturday Night Live I said to
myself ‘Those guys are good!’" "No, no, Balki," Larry
says, "That’s the Blues Brothers. Blues Brothers. The Big
Brothers is a charitable organization. Men who belong to it act as big
brothers to boys who need fathers." "Oh!" Balki says,
understanding.
Balki takes Mary Anne’s hand and they
walk to the couch. Jennifer and Larry follow. "We’re roller
skating in a ten hour marathon to help raise money for them," Mary Anne
explains. "A marathon?" Balki asks as they all sit, "I love
marathons! Will you get to meet Jerry Lewis?" "No, Balki .
. . marathon," Larry explains, "Marathon, not a telethon."
"Oh!" Balki nods. "Anyway, uh, we thought you guys might
like to sponsor us," Jennifer explains, "You know, pledge money for
every hour we skate." "Well, Balki and I will be happy to
sponsor you," Larry smiles. "Great!" Jennifer says
happily. There is another knock at the door. "I’ll get
it," Larry says, getting up and walking to the front door. "How
much do you want?" Balki asks Mary Anne. "How much you
got?" Mary Anne asks.
Larry opens the door and a young,
good-looking man enters, carrying the same kind of papers Jennifer has.
"Hi!" the man says 
to Larry. "Hi," Larry
replies. "Hi, Jennifer, Mary Anne," the man says to the girls,
who get up to meet him. "Hi, Grant!" Jennifer says, giving Grant
a hug in greeting. Larry is immediately suspicious. "Uh, Larry,
Balki," Jennifer continues, leading him in front of the couch where Mary
Anne and Balki are standing, "This is Grant Larkin." "How
you do, you?" Balki asks, shaking Grant’s hand. "Grant’s a
flight attendant on our crew," Jennifer explains. "Oh, I just
came by to drop off my pledge sheets for the skate-a-thon," Grant says,
handing Jennifer his papers. "Thanks, Grant," Jennifer says,
"Grant is a terrific fund raiser. Last year this wonderful guy raised
a thousand dollars for Big Brothers." "You’re kidding
me?" Balki gasps, "For those little tiny kids? Why that’s
wonderful!" Jennifer and Mary Anne also gush over Grant.
"It was nothing," Grant assures them. "Oh, you’re being
modest!" Jennifer scolds, "It was more than anyone else
raised!" "Don’t you ever do that again!" Balki also
scolds as they all protest.
Larry has been standing to one side
watching this with barely disguised jealousy. "Oh!" he suddenly
exclaims, "Oh! A skate-a-thon! A roller skating marathon!
You know . . . instead of pledging money I should be skating myself."
"Do you roller skate?" Jennifer asks. "Do I roller
skate?" Larry asks, "Well, the kids used to call me ‘Wheels’
Appleton!" "Kids can be so cruel," 
Balki sighs sadly.
"No. No, no," Larry says, "They called me that because I
was a terrific skater." "Larry, I never knew that,"
Jennifer states, then hands him a paper, saying, "Here. Here’s a
pledge sheet." "That’s great!" Grant says, "We need
all the help we can get. Well, I gotta go. I’ll see you guys on
Saturday." "See you," Balki says. "Great,"
Jennifer smiles. "Bye," Mary Anne adds. "It’s nice
meeting you, Wheels," Grant says to Larry as he heads for the door.
"Bye, bye," Larry smiles. "Balki, why don’t you skate,
too?" Mary Anne suggests. "Oh, I would love to," Balki
answers, "but . . . but I don’t know how." "Well, maybe
‘Wheels’ can teach you," Mary Anne suggests. They all look to
Larry expectantly. "Would you, ‘Wheels?’" Balki asks
hopefully. "Why not?" Larry shrugs.
The next scene takes place the next
night. Balki and Larry are sitting on the couch, tying up the laces on the
roller skates they 
are wearing. "I’m so excited," Balki says,
"Learning how to skate at the feet of ‘Wheels’ Appleton. Tell me,
‘Wheels’ . . . how long will it take me to learn how to skate?"
"I don’t know," Larry answers. "How long did it take you
to learn how to skate?" Balki asks. "I don’t know," Larry
admits, "I never had a pair of skates on before in my life."
Balki nods, then realizes what Larry has said. "I . . . I hate to dig
up a can of worms," Balki begins, "but don’t that mean you lied to
Jennifer about being able to skate?" "Well, what was I supposed
to do?" Larry asks, "Let Grant raise all that money for charity and
then be a big hero for Jennifer?" "Well, Cousin, you can’t
keep her by lying!" Balki points out, "Lord knows you’ve
tried! And every time you do, you wind up with a pocketful of babasticki.
It’s time to talk about reality. It’s time to talk about the hard
facts. It’s time to talk about the Wrath of the Gabuggis."
"The Gabuggis?" Larry asks, as
if he didn’t hear correctly. "The Gabuggis," Balki confirms,
"The Myposian Fib Furies . . . Eva, 
Magda and Zsa Zsa. They are the
daughters of Vertash, God of Truth, and his lovely wife Succotash. Each of
the Gabuggis has one penetrating eye right in the middle of her nose bridge that
sees everything and they punish those who dishonor truth by telling
lies." "Fascinating," Larry hums, "Balki, I’m sure I’ll
be safe from the wrath of these Gabuggis because I am doing a good thing.
I am helping children. And even Eva, Magda and Zsa Zsa won’t mind if I
tell a teeny tiny itsy bitty little white lie . . . pop!" Larry
flicks his fingers as if tossing something away, ". . . to help
children." "But Cousin, if . . . "
"Children," Larry interrupts, "Helping little
children." "Cousin, you know, I know there’s an error in logic
here somewhere but . . . I can’t put my finger on it." "Well,
while you’re trying to figure out where to put your finger, why don’t we
learn how to skate?" Larry suggests.
"Well, how we do that?" Balki
asks. "Well, I figure the quickest way to learn is to keep these
skates on and never take them off," Larry explains, "Come on . . .
give it a try. It’ll be easy." They both slowly stand up on
their skates. "There, see? What did I tell you?" Larry
asks. "Well, we’re not moving yet," Balki points out, "If
the sport were roller standing we’d get a ten!" Balki laughs at his
own joke. "All right," Larry says, "Now we want to start
moving. Okay?" "Okay," Balki agrees. "Here
we go," Larry prompts. Larry and Balki turn to the right and start
walking with tiny steps on the carpet, shimmying along in a strange
fashion. "Huh?" Larry asks, "See?"
"Yes," Balki smiles. "See?" "Yes,"
Balki agrees, then he steps off the carpet onto the hardwood floor and his feet
start to roll out from under him. He struggles to maintain control as
Larry also slips somewhat on the wood floor, but also manages not to fall.
Once again they starts to shimmy walk on
the skates by the front door. "See? Huh?" Larry asks,
"We are doing great!" "Well, 
well . . . technically we’re
not roller skating," Balki points out, "We’re still just roller
walking." "All we need is a little speed," Larry says,
grabbing Balki by the pants and then pushing him across the floor toward the
kitchen. Balki reaches the counter and grabs on to the pillar for dear
life, giving Larry a dirty look. "There? Ya see!" Larry
says happily, roller walking toward Balki as Balki starts roller walking toward
him. "Learning to roller skate is just like learning to ride a
bicycle," Larry continues, "All we need is speed!" Balki
turns Larry around so that his back is facing him. "Now, you give me
a push!" Larry encourages. Balki shoves Larry hard toward the front
door. Just then Mary Anne opens the front door and walks in. Larry
rolls out the front door and there is the sound of him crashing down the
stairs. Balki roller walks over to Mary Anne and they both look out the
door as we hear Larry’s voice finally call, "I’m fine! I’m
fine!" "Larry’s good!" Mary Anne notes.
Sometime later at the Chicago Chronicle,
Larry is standing by Balki’s table looking at a file folder. The phone
on his desk rings. 
Larry sets the folder down and starts moving to the
phone gingerly. We can see he is still wearing the roller skates. He
struggles to roller walk the short distance to his phone, but loses control
halfway and starts spinning around wildly. He manages to stop spinning and
regains his balance, then tries to move forward but instead rolls backwards into
another mail table. Larry pushes himself forward and rolls toward the
phone, then swings off toward the stairs, grabbing onto the railings as his legs
move out from under him in opposite directions. Larry somehow manages to
pull himself to his feet again, then turns around and tries to hold onto the
stairs as he reaches for the phone. He stretches out further and further
toward the phone, then falls behind his desk with a thud. Larry pops up at
his desk and lifts the phone receiver, asking, "Hello?" After a
moment he says, "Hello? Hello?" Whoever it was has hung
up. Larry sets down the receiver with frustration.
As Larry struggles to get to his feet,
Balki skates in from the loading dock, moving elegantly around his worktable on
one foot. He then rolls by Larry on one leg, handing him his mail.
He skates backwards around Larry’s desk and lays gently down across the two
low file cabinets in front. "There’s your mail, by the way,"
Balki says, then sighs, "Oh Cousin! Skating is so simple!"
Balki gets to his feet again and wheels toward the parking garage.
"And . . . so grand!" Balki skates around the basement
effortlessly, saying, "So free. So fluid. So swan-like.
So light. So airy." He stops at Cousin Larry and adds, "So
cholesterol free." "I told you it was easy to learn," Larry
forces a smile. Balki continues to skate around the basement as Larry
struggles clumsily just to get back to Balki’s table and get his folder.
Balki glides back around to his table as Larry makes his way back to his own
desk.
Mr. Gorpley enters from his office and
eyes Balki and Larry in confusion. "You’re both on roller
skates," he observes, "Did I miss 
a memo?" "No, Mr.
Gorpley," Balki says, "We’re practicing. We’re raising money
for charity." "Charity begins at home," Gorpley quips,
"Practice there." "It’s for a good cause, Gorpley,"
Larry says, almost falling again, "We’re in a skate-a-thon. We’re
raising money for the Big Brothers." "You?" Gorpley asks,
then breaks out laughing, saying, "I hope they don’t need
much!" "Well, for your information," Larry continues,
approaching Gorpley and slipping on his skates with every step, "I have
collected the most pledges!" "Of course you did. Nobody
thinks you’ll finish!" Gorpley laughs, then heads to his office.
"Oh yeah?" Larry asks, "Well, I intend to skate the full ten
hours . . . " Larry insists, chasing Gorpley all the way to his office as
Gorpley continues to laugh and mock him, closing the door to his office behind
him. " . . . and to raise more money than anyone else!" Larry
finishes, stumbling over to where Balki is standing.
Balki helps Larry to get steady on his
skates, then hooks his arm around Larry’s. "Now Cousin, that’s
not going to happen," Balki 
begins, as he skates Larry around the basement,
"Why? Because you’re not lying to help children. You’re
lying to impress Jennifer. And until you tell the truth, Eva, Magda and
Zsa Zsa will continue to be a thorn in your sideburns." "Balki,
I am going to impress Jennifer," Larry insists, "And if the Gabuggis
think they can stop me, let them try!" Balki looks around nervously
and skates away from Larry, who stands in the middle of the basement in
defiance. Balki ducks behind Larry’s desk. "Come on,
ladies!" Larry says loudly, barely staying on his feet, "Take your
best shot!" Larry waits, but nothing happens. "I thought
not," he says smugly. Suddenly he loses his footing and crashes to
the floor. Balki skates over to him and lays down beside him.
"Cousin, you’re lucky! That was Magda. She’s the nicest
one," Balki explains. The scene fades to black.
Act two begins at the roller rink called
Skate Land where the skate-a-thon will take place. The sign out front
reads "Chicago Big 
Brothers Skate-a-thon." Inside the rink,
people are skating. There is a big countdown clock set up to count down
the ten hour time period. Larry, Balki, Jennifer and Mary Anne enter, all
wearing sports clothing and are carrying their skates. "So,"
Larry says, "this is Skateland. Not a professional rink but I guess
it’ll have to do. The important thing is raising money for Big
Brothers." "Larry, how did you manage to get twelve hundred
dollars in pledges?" Jennifer asks, "Even Grant couldn’t do
that." "I guess some of us have it and some of us don’t,"
Larry says in a smarmy voice. "And some of us can’t get rid of
it," Balki comments in the same smarmy way. "Jennifer, let’s
go put on our skates," Mary Anne suggests. Jennifer and Mary Anne
walk away. Larry and Balki walk to the rink entrance as Grant skates by
backwards, then spins to a stop. "Hi, Grant," Larry says.
"Hi, ‘Wheels,’" Grant smiles, "I’ll catch you
later." He skates off backwards.
Larry continues to smile in a forced
manner. "Cousin," Balki warns, "This is your last chance to
tell Jennifer the truth. The air is thick with Gabuggis."
"Oh, another Gabuggi update," Larry says facetiously, "You know,
Balki, I’m beginning to understand why 
on Mypos a sheep can run for public
office." The scene dissolves into the beginning of the skate-a-thon,
with the announcer saying, "The skate-a-thon is underway! Good luck,
everybody!" A large number of people are skating, including Larry,
Jennifer and Mary Anne. Mary Anne is carrying her camera around her
neck. Larry is struggling along as he skates. Balki follows up
behind them, skating backwards. We see the clock move from hour 4 to hour
3 as the announcer states, "Three hours to go! Hang in there,
skaters!" There are still a number of people skating, and Larry is
really struggling to continue. Balki comes up behind him and puts Larry’s
arm around his shoulder and helps him to go on. As they skate past
Jennifer and Mary Anne, who have already dropped out, Grant zips past them doing
a move where he’s in a squatting position with one leg extended in front of
him.
We see the clock again as it moves from 1
hour to 0 hour and the announcer calls, "We’re in the home
stretch!" At this point only 
Larry, Balki and Grant are still
skating. Or rather Balki and Grant are skating . . . Balki is actually
pulling Larry backwards by his pants. Grant is skating circles around
them, doing jumps and tricks. "Twenty seconds to go!" the
announcer calls. "You can do it, Larry!" Jennifer calls.
"Go, Balki!" Mary Anne shouts. "Go, Larry!" Jennifer
says, trying to prompt Mary Anne to say the same. "Go, Balki!"
Mary Anne calls again. "Why can’t you ever cheer for my
boyfriend?" Jennifer asks. "Oh, okay," Mary Anne agrees,
then shouts, "Go, Larry!" As they round the last turn again, a
tired Balki is pushing Larry from behind, who is skating in a seated
position. "Are we moving?" Larry asks wearily, "Are we
moving?" Grant skates by the exhausted pair effortlessly. The
announcer begins to count down, "Three, two, one!" A buzzer
sounds and Larry sits down on the floor of the rink as Balki skates over him and
the crowd cheers. "I did it!" Larry exclaims, "I did
it! I raised more money than Grant!"
Mary Anne runs to Balki to hug him and
Jennifer runs to Larry, stooping down. "Larry, you were
wonderful!" she says as she 
hands him his jacket. "Balki, did
you hear that?" Larry asks, "Jennifer thinks I’m
wonderful." "You were wonderful, too, Balki!" Mary Anne
assures him. "And my heart is pure," Balki adds, hugging
her. "I’m so proud of you, Larry," Jennifer says sweetly,
"Do you know you raised the most money?" "Did I?"
Larry asks, struggling to his feet and pulling on his jacket, "Well, it
doesn’t matter who raised the most money. I never thought of this as a
competition. I just welcome the opportunity to unselfishly devote my time
and skating ability to those in need." There is a drum roll and the
announcer steps out into the rink. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?" he asks as men bring four barrels out onto the
rink, "Cunningham Hardware has offered to donate five hundred dollars to
the Big Brothers in the name of the person who can jump the most
barrels." "Well, their money is safe," Larry says,
"After ten hours nobody’s got the energy to do that." "I
do," Grant says. "You do?" Larry asks.
"Sure, I’ll give it a shot," Grant says, and skates away from them.
"This is exciting!" Mary Anne
says, "Jennifer, let’s go over there where I can get a better
picture." The girls hurry to the other side of the rink.
"No! This can’t be happening!" Larry complains, "The
skate-a-thon is over. I won! And they’re taking a picture 
of
Grant?" Grant takes off from the opposite side of the rink as
Jennifer and Mary Anne call out "Come on, Grant! You can do
it!" Grant circles the rink and then speeds toward the barrels,
clearing them with ease. Everyone applauds enthusiastically. Grant
leaves the rink and goes over to Jennifer and Mary Anne, where Jennifer gives
him a hug. Balki takes Larry’s arm and leads him to the rink exit,
saying, "Face it, Cousin. All your lying was for nothing. But
it’s still not too late to save yourself from the Wrath of the Gabuggis by
telling Jennifer the truth." "Maybe you’re right," Larry
sighs. Jennifer runs up to them. "Larry!" she cries.
"Jennifer . . . " Larry begins. "Did you see Grant fly over
those barrels? It was the most beautiful thing I ever saw!"
"Add another barrel!" Larry calls out.
"Larry, you jump barrels?"
Jennifer asks with surprise. "I’m from Wisconsin, the
Barrel-Jumping State!" Larry exclaims. "I’m gonna get Mary
Anne’s camera!" Jennifer says excitedly, and hurries off. Larry
heads back onto the rink but Balki grabs his jacket and cries, "Cousin,
no! No, no, no, no! I can’t let you do this!" He heads
Larry off. "The Gabuggis, I have a feeling, have just been waiting to
get you over a barrel!" "Balki, I can’t let Grant beat
me!" Larry cries, "Now get out of my way!" "No,
Cousin!" 
Balki cries, "I have to save you!" "Oh my
Lord!" Larry suddenly cries. "What?" Balki asks.
"Balki, you were right! I see them!" Larry gasps.
"Who?" Balki asks. "The Gabuggis!" Larry cries.
"Where?" Balki asks, looking up. "Over there!" Larry
says, directing Balki’s attention to the wall around the rink. Larry
then pushes Balki so that he ends up flying over the wall. Jennifer and
Mary Anne shout encouragement to Larry and they watch with Grant. Balki
slowly looks up over the wall as Larry skates around the rink with a determined
look. Everyone is cheering him on as he rounds the final turns and heads
for the barrels. Unfortunately, he barely leaves the ground as he plows
into the five barrels, rolling over them all and landing in a heap on the ground
on the other side, much to the amusement of the spectators.
Back at the apartment that night,
Jennifer, Mary Anne and Balki enter, carrying Larry on their shoulders.
Larry is still wearing his 
skates. They carry him to the back of the couch
then drop him down onto the cushions. Balki and Larry squat down behind
the couch and look over the top as Jennifer bends down next to Larry’s head on
the armrest. "Larry, I’m sure you’re a good skater, but you were
crazy to try to jump that many barrels," she says. "Jennifer, I
have a confession to make," Larry says, "Until four days ago I never
skated before in my life. And Wisconsin is actually the Dairy State.
And I’m not five foot ten." "Boy, when you come clean you
leave a ring around the tub!" Balki comments. "Why did you lie
to me, Larry?" Jennifer asks. "Well, I was just jealous of
Grant," Larry confesses. "Jealous of Grant?" Jennifer
cries, "Grant is a happily married man!" "Well, you never
mentioned he was married," Larry complains. "Well, I didn’t
think it was important!" Jennifer counters. "I guess I made a
fool out of myself, Jennifer," Larry smiles meekly. "Well, you
didn’t . . . except for maybe the barrel-jumping thing," Jennifer thinks,
"But . . . at least you raised a lot of money for the Big Brothers.
Thanks for that." Jennifer gives Larry a kiss.
"Balki, I had a wonderful time,"
Mary Anne smiles, "Maybe tomorrow you can come up and we can play roller
derby." "I’m 
counting the moments, my little lamb shank,"
Balki says, and he gives her a shy kiss on the cheek. "Well, bye
Larry," Jennifer says as she and Mary Anne get up to leave, "We’ll
see you guys tomorrow." "Oh yeah," Mary Anne says,
"and by then I’ll have the pictures developed and then we can relive the
whole thing!" They leave and Mary Anne closes the door behind
her. "Oh good," Larry sighs. Balki, still sore from the
skating, climbs onto the back of the couch. "I never should have
lied, Balki," Larry admits. "That is correct," Balki
agrees. "You were right," Larry adds. "That is
correct," Balki also agrees. "When I lie, something bad
happens," Larry concludes. "Well, the Gabuggis make sure of
that," Balki notes. "Are they still here?" Larry asks
worriedly. "No, they slipped out the moment you told the truth,"
Balki explains, "They’re probably on their way back to
Washington." Larry reacts as the episode ends.
Script Variations:
There are some major differences between the first draft dated
July 26, 1989 and the final episode:
- The
first scene begins with Balki at the dining room table doing homework and Larry
taking a book from the bookcase, then crossing to the couch. "Cousin,
were you good in history?" Balki asks. "My best subject,"
Larry brags. "Could you explain what the New Deal was all
about?" Balki asks. "Sure," Larry answers, "You see .
. . well, uh, the New Deal replaced the Old Deal after the Old Deal got too
old." "Don't know, huh?" Balki asks. There's a knock
at the door and Larry says, "I'll get it. Might be
important." Larry opens the door and Jennifer and Mary Anne
enter. "Hi, guys," Jennifer begins, "Mary Anne and I have
something to ask you." "Whatever it is, the answer is yes,"
Larry assures them. "That was easy," Mary Anne comments,
"Bye, guys." "Mary Anne, we haven't asked yet,"
Jennifer points out, "We're raising money for the Big Brothers."
"Jennifer, your big brothers need money?" Balki asks, "Was their
allowance cut off by your big daddy?" "Balki, the Big Brothers
is a charitable organization," Larry explains, "Men who belong to it
act as big brothers to boys who need fathers." "Well, then why
don't they call it Big Fathers?" Balki asks. "Balki," Larry
cuts him off. "Well, I can get in front of that," Balki says
instead. "We're roller skating in a ten hour marathon to raise money
for them," Mary Anne explains. "A marathon?" Balki asks,
"Will you get to meet Jerry Lewis?" "Marathon," Larry
says, "Not telethon. A marathon is something that goes on for a long
time. Like these explanations." Jennifer then asks if they
would like to sponsor them and Larry agrees.
- There is another
knock at the door and Larry opens the door to Grant. "Hi," Grant
says, "Are Jennifer and Mary Anne here yet?" "Hi,
Grant," Jennifer greets him, "Larry, Balki, this is Grant
Larkin. Grant's an attendant on our flight crew." "On all
your flights?" Larry asks worriedly. "Every one," Grant
answers, "I don't know how we'd get along without Jennifer."
"Isn't he sweet?" Jennifer asks, "Grants in the Skate-a-thon,
too. Last year this wonderful man raised a thousand dollars for Big
Brothers." "Well, for that much money you could probably get a
couple of Big Brothers and a nephew to be named later," Balki notes.
"I hope I do as well this year," Grant says. "You'll do
great," Jennifer assures him, "You're the best." Jennifer
hugs Grant's arm. "Oh, oh. A Skate-a-thon," Larry says,
"Roller skating marathon. Where's my head?" "On your
shoulders, Cousin, where it usually is," Balki answers. "What I
mean is instead of standing here pledging money I should be skating
myself," Larry says. "Do you roller skate?" Jennifer
asks. "Do I roller skate?" Larry asks, then asks Balki, "Do
I roller skate?" "Does he roller skate?" Balki asks,
"Does he roller skate?" He thinks, then asks Larry, "Do you
roller skate?" Larry explains about 'Wheels' Appleton (Balki doesn't
reply with the comment about kids being cruel in this version, though).
Jennifer gives Larry a pledge sheet and Mary Anne asks Balki why he doesn't
skate, then when Balki says he doesn't know how suggests maybe 'Wheels' can
teach him. "No problem," Larry says, then to Jennifer,
"I'll be great to pull on the old skates again. And this year,
Jennifer, don't be surprised is there's a new top fund raiser."
"That's great," Jennifer smiles, "It's all for charity. See
you Saturday at the Skate-a-thon." "Nice meeting you,
'Wheels,'" Grant offers as he and the girls leave. "Cousin, this
is going to be fun," Balki says, "Skating in my first
Skate-a-thon." "Yes," Larry agrees, "We'd better go
buy skates." "I would have thought 'Wheels Appleton' would have
his own," Balki notes. "Why would I have my own?" Larry
asks, "I've never had a pair of skates on in my life." Larry
exits and Balki follows, saying, "Cousin, maybe I misunderstood the concept
of skating. I thought skates were a requirement."
- The next scene
starts later with Larry and Balki returning to the apartment with roller skates
in boxes. "Well, if we can get the publisher to sponsor us in the
Skate-a-thon, I'm sure we can shame the rest of the department heads to do
it," Larry states. They put the boxes on the coffee table.
"Speaking of shame, Cousin 'Wheels,' I thought this might be a good time to
talk about why you lied to Jennifer about being able to skate."
"What am I supposed to do?" Larry asks, "Let Grant raise all that
money for charity and be a big hero for Jennifer? Did you hear what
Jennifer called Grant? A 'wonderful man.' She's never called me a
'wonderful man.' Balki, if she starts to compare me to Grant, I'll come up
short." "But, Cousin, you are short," Balki points out,
"What does height have to do with it? The only reason you're doing
this is to impress Jennifer. And whenever you do that you get in
trouble." "Okay, so my motives aren't pure," Larry admits,
"So what? Skating can't be that hard. Children do it. And
we're going to be raising money for charity. That's a good
thing." Balki makes the comment about putting his finger on what's
wrong and Larry says, "Well, while you're trying to figure out where to put
your finger, let's lace up." They sit on the couch and takes the
skates out of the box. "Cousin, maybe we should get a teacher,"
Balki suggests, "Perhaps Grant?" "We don't need a
teacher," Larry insists, "It has to be easy. The skates don't
even come with instructions. Now we know, we learn by doing.
Therefore the quickest way to learn is to put the skates on and never take them
off." "Cousin, isn't that going to make it difficult to take a
shower?" Balki asks. "You take them off when you shower,"
Larry assures him. "Well, how about when I -- " "You
take them off when you need to," Larry interrupts, "Come
on." They stand up and Larry notes how easy it is and Balki points
out that if they were roller standing they'd get a ten. Larry pushes Balki,
who rolls away. An angry Balki walks back and shoves Larry. Larry
almost loses his balance and grabs Balki, who gets off balance and they both
struggle to keep their balance until finally they fall onto the couch.
"Good, we're making progress," Larry states. "Cousin, we're
still on the couch," Balki notes. "We were standing for a
moment," Larry says, "Look, I've seen people do this. You push
off with your back foot and glide. Then push off with your other foot and
glide. Push and glide. Got that?" "Sure, it's the
same motion we use on Mypos when we go sheep tobogganing," Balki
responds. Larry thinks a moment, then says, "Exactly. Okay,
let's try it." They get up and try to skate. "Push and
glide," Larry prompts. "Push and glide," Balki
repeats. They skate around the couch, gaining more confidence.
"Cousin, we're skating," Balki exclaims, but then Larry starts to
skate faster and Balki says, "Cousin, don't go too fast."
"There's nothing to this," Larry insists, "When you want to stop
you just aim for a wall." As Larry comes around the couch, he starts
to lose his balance. He aims for the front door to stop himself, but Mary
Anne opens the door and Larry skates out and tumbles down the stairs.
"Wow," Mary Anne says, "Larry is a good skater. Skating
down stairs. He makes it look so easy." "I'm
alright," Larry calls from off screen.
- The scene at the
office starts with Larry taking a file out of the filing cabinet as Balki comes
in skating really well. "Cousin, I delivered all the mail in fifteen
minutes," Balki says, "Roller skating is wonderful."
"I told you it was easy to learn," Larry says. The phone on his
desk starts to ring and Larry struggles to reach it. "Let me help
you, Cousin," Balki offers. Balki pushes Larry, who shoots across the
room waving his arms frantically and then crashes into his desk.
"Thank you," Larry says. "You're welcome," Balki
smiles. Larry answers the phone and says, "You're willing to sponsor
me? Great." Larry grabs a pencil and paper and writes down the
information as he says, "Two dollars an hour. That's terrific.
Thanks a lot." Larry hangs up the phone and addresses Balki.
"Balki, I'm a cinch to raise the most money at the skate-a-thon. This
is wonderful. I'm going to beat Grant and be Jennifer's hero."
"Yes, and we're going to raise a lot of money so those little boys will
have Big Brothers," Balki agrees. "And I'm going to beat Grant
and be Jennifer's hero," Larry repeats. Gorpley enters and the scene
with him is much the same, except when Balki explain, "If Cousin Larry
skates all ten hours, he's going to be the biggest money grabber
there." "And I'm going to beat Grant and be Jennifer's
hero," Larry says to himself. "Fat chance," Gorpley scoffs
as he takes out his wallet and opens it, "I've got a hundred bucks in here
that says you don't make it to the finish, Appleton." "You're
on!" Larry agrees, "It's a deal." "Cousin, you were
wrong," Balki says, "Mr. Gorpley's wallet isn't glued
shut." "This is going to be the easiest hundred bucks I've ever
made," Gorpley smirks, exiting. "Yeah, well, I'll see you at the
skate-a-thon and you better bring that hundred bucks!" Larry says, trying
to go after him. Larry starts to fall but Balki catches him.
"Cousin, maybe you should give your sponsors to Jennifer. That way
you won't have to skate a dangerous lie." "Not a chance, Balki,"
Larry argues, "I have twenty-four hours to practice. By tomorrow I
really will be 'Wheels' Appleton. Now help me stand up." Balki helps
Larry stand up and this is the end of act one.
- At the roller
skating rink, Balki, Larry, Jennifer and Mary Anne enter, carrying their
skates. "Cousin, look at this turnout," Balki says, "The
Big Brothers are really going to make some big bucks today." The bit
about "some of us have it and some of us don't" follows. Lydia
enters wearing a cocktail dress and skates. She's with a swarthy looking
man in a tuxedo. "Raoul, you wait over there," Lydia says to her
date. "Nobody told me this was formal," Mary Anne says.
"Lydia, aren't you a little over dressed?" Larry asks. "Not
for what Raoul has in mind," Lydia smiles, "You see, he has this
little fantasy . . . Well, what difference does it make? He's
pledging five hundred dollars." Jennifer suggests to Mary Anne they
put on their skates. As they walk away, Mary Anne asks, "So is it
formal or not?" "I love skating," Lydia tells Balki and
Larry, "When I fall down men pick me up." She skates away.
Grant skates by them and says hi to "Wheels" before skating
away. "Cousin, it's still not too late to tell Jennifer the
truth," Balki points out. "Balki, stop worrying," Larry
says, "Everything's going great. I'm going to raise more money than
Grant." "But, Cousin, you won't raise more money than Grant is
you don't finish the Skate-a-thon." "If Grant can skate for ten
house, so can I," Larry insists, "What has he got that I haven't
got?" Grant skates past them again and does a fancy trick.
"What was the question?" Balki asks.
- There is a montage
of scenes which are explained like this:
A series of vignettes, showing the Skate-a-thon in progress:
1. The clock shows it's the first hour of
the Skate-a-thon.
2. A crowd of people skate by.
Jennifer and Mary Anne skate by having fun. Larry and Balki are
skating. Balki is having fun. Larry is grimly concentrating on his
skating. Lydia is skating and waving.
3. The clock shows there are five hours
left.
4. The crowd of skaters has thinned
out. We see people giving up. Lydia drops out of the
Skate-a-thon. Larry and Balki are still skating. Balki is still
fresh. Larry is growing weary, stumbling occasionally.
5. Gorpley is watching. He sees the
shape Larry is in and starts laughing.
6. The clock shows only one hour left in
the Skate-a-thon.
7. Balki is helping a tired Larry to skate
on. As a fresh-as-a-daisy Grant skates by Larry -- backward.
8. The clock shows there are only twenty
seconds left.
- There are a handful
of skaters left, including Larry, Balki and Grant. Gorpley is checking his
watch as Jennifer and Mary Anne cheer them on. The announcer is counting
down the final seconds. "Twenty seconds," the announcer says,
"Nineteen . . . " "Come on, Cousin," Balki encourages,
"Push and glide. Push and glide. Okay, pick one."
"Balki, I'm too bushed to push," Larry complains. Grant skates
past them. "Hi, Grant," Balki offers. "Push and
glide," Larry says with determination, "Push and glide!" On
the sidelines, Jennifer calls, "You can do it, Larry!"
"Come on, Larry," Lydia adds. "You can make it!" Mary
Anne shouts. "Give up, Appleton," Gorpley chimes in. They
all give Gorpley a dirty look. "Hey, I have a hundred bucks riding on
this," Gorpley explains. Larry and Balki continue to struggle.
"Am I moving?" Larry asks. Grant skates by them again.
"We may be going backward," Balki notes. "Seven, six . . .
" the announcer calls. "Pick up sticks," Larry says in a
daze. "Five, four . . . " "Just a little more,"
Balki urges. The announcer counts down the last three seconds and the
buzzer sounds. Jennifer and Mary Anne run into the rink to congratulate
them. Jennifer calls Larry wonderful, which Larry relishes.
"You were wonderful, too, Balki," Mary Anne says, "You skated all
ten hours and for the last two you were carrying Larry." "He
ain't heavy. He's my Cousin," Balki states. "You lose,
Gorpley," Larry reminds him, "Give me my hundred dollars."
"Hey, I don't carry that kind of money," Gorpley remarks, "Uh . .
. I've got it in my car. You wait here." Gorpley exits in a
hurry. Lydia turns to Raoul and says, "Follow him. If he
doesn't have the money, rip out his stereo." Raoul goes after Gorpley.
Lydia thinks a moment then decides, "I think I'd like to see
this." She hurries out after them.
- Jennifer points out
that Larry raised four hundred-ninety nine dollars more then Grant. Larry
assures her it doesn't matter who won the most money. There is a drum roll
and the announcer calls everyone's attention. "I guess this is where
they thank me," Larry says smugly. "It's time for the event
you've all been waiting for," the announcer says. "Yeah, they're
going to thank me," Larry smiles. The men start rolling out the
barrels. "Cousin, they're rolling out the barrel for you," Balki
observes, "You're going to have a barrel of fun." After the
announcer explains the event and Grant says he'll do it, Jennifer confirms that
Grant does it every year. "That's how he raises the most money,"
Mary Anne adds. "Wish me luck," Grant says, "I'm going to
do it blindfolded this year." Grant skates onto the floor.
"No, this can't be happening," Larry whines, "The Skate-a-thon's
over. I won." "Cousin, you're not being a very good sport
about this," Balki points out. "Balki, Grant could make an extra
five hundred dollars," Larry says, "He's going to beat me by one lousy
dollar." Grant successfully jumps over the barrels.
"Cousin, you shouldn't feel bad," Balki says, "You did a good
thing. You raised a lot of money for charity. That's something to be
proud of. And, for once, you didn't go crazy." Larry shouts for
them to add another barrel. "Perhaps I spoke too soon," Balki
says worriedly. Jennifer asks Larry if he thinks he can do it and Larry
tells Jennifer that Wisconsin is the Barrel Jumping State. "Cousin,
you barely for through the Skate-a-thon," Balki points out, "I don't
think they'll let me carry you over the barrels, too." "Balki,
I'm rested," Larry explains, "I'm ready. There's nothing to
this. I just get up a little speed, head for the barrels and
jump." "You talk a good jump, Cousin," Balki accepts,
"But I can't let you do it. You might hurt yourself."
"Get out of my way, Balki," Larry snarls, "I'm not going to lose
Jennifer to some barrel jumping bozo." Larry goes to the floor and
starts skating, but Balki grabs him by the belt so that Larry is skating in
place. "You're slowing me down," Larry complains.
"That's the point." "Look, is that Vanna White?" Larry
cries, pointing away. Balki turns and lets go of Larry, who skates around
the rink to get up speed. He plows into the barrels. Balki goes to
him and says, "More bad news, Cousin. That wasn't Vanna."
- In the final scene,
Balki wheels Larry into the apartment as if he were pushing a hand dolly.
He pushes Larry to the couch and lowers him onto it as Jennifer and Mary Anne
watch. "Larry, you were crazy to try to jump that many barrels,"
Jennifer says. "You were crazy to try to jump any barrels," Mary
Anne adds. "Cousin Larry is good at that," Balki notes,
"Insanity on short notice." After Larry admits he was jealous
and Jennifer explains Grant was married and then when he complains she never
mentioned it she says she didn't think it was important, Balki says,
"Jennifer, you should know better." Mary Anne only says
goodnight to Balki, then as she and Jennifer leave she asks, "I don't
understand. If he never skated before, why did they call him
'Wheels?'" "Balki, I can't believe I made such a fool of myself
again," Larry moans. "Believe it, Cousin. In fact, one
more time and you'll get permanent possession of the trophy." "I
shouldn't have lied," Larry sighs, "You're right. It never
works." "Why can you only see that when you're in pain,
Cousin?" Balki asks. "I think pain gets my attention,"
Larry notes. "Well, cheer up, Cousin. You did raise money for a
worthwhile cause and you should feel good about that." "I guess
I will when I can feel anything at all," Larry agrees, "I think I'll
go to my room now." "Let me help you, Cousin." Balki
helps Larry off the couch, tilts him and then starts to wheel him toward his
room. "Watch out for the couch," Larry directs, "Don't hit
the end table. A little to the left now. That's it. Now . . .
" As Larry continues to give Balki directions they fade out.
There are a still some
differences in the shooting draft dated August 16, 1989:
- In
the first scene, after Larry explains that the word is marathon and not
telethon, he says, "A marathon is something that foes on for a long
time. Whereas a telethon is something that goes on for a long time . . .
but is different." "Oh, why didn't you say so?" Balki asks.
- After Jennifer introduces Grant Larkin as a
flight attendant on their crew, Mary Anne adds, "He's on every one of our
flights." The bit where Larry asks "Do I roller skate?"
several times and Balki does as well is still in this script.
- At the end of the scene, after Larry says,
"Why not?" to teaching Balki how to skate, Balki says,
"Whoopee." "Yep, it'll be great to pull on the old skates
again," Larry says, "And this year, Jennifer, don't be surprised if
there's a new top fund raiser." "That would be nice,
Larry," Jennifer smiles, "It would take some of the pressure off
Grant." "As long as you're here, why don't you stay for
dessert?" Balki asks. "That sounds great," Mary Anne
answers. They start for the kitchen. "It's (MYPOSIAN),"
Balki says. "It sounds delicious," Jennifer says, "What is
it?" "Pig lips with creme fraiche," Balki answers.
Mary Anne, Jennifer and Larry do an about face. "Ice cream? My
treat?" Larry asks. "You don't like creme fraiche?" Balki
asks.
- After Balki realizes Larry
has lied and Larry asks what he was supposed to do, Larry says, "You heard
what she called him." "A flight attendant," Balki
answers. "A 'wonderful guy.' Larry repeats the "coming up
short" joke from the previous script and Balki points out he is
short. "I mean if I don't do something to show I'm better than Grant,
I could lose Jennifer." This is when Balki points out he can't keep
Jennifer by lying and reminds him that every time he does he winds up with a
pocketful of babasticki. "No problem," Larry says, "I'll
just wear something with no pockets."
- In the script, the father of the Gabuggis is
spelled Vertas, but Balki pronounces is more like Vertash in the show. He
explains, "Each of the Gabuggis has one penetrating eye right in the middle
of her nose bridge that sees everything and one ear along the side of her head
that hears everything, and they look and they hark and they find and punish
those who dishonor truth by telling lies." The only other difference
in the scene is at the end when Mary Anne comments, "Wow. Larry is
good," before Larry calls up "I'm fine."
- In the office scene, when Balki is extolling the
virtues of skating he says it is "So effortless. So liberating.
So energy efficient." The rest of the scene is the same.
- At the roller rink, after Larry says, "Oh,
another 'Gabuggi Update?' he adds, "The fact of the matter is that, in
spite of the Gabuggis, I have learned to skate." "That's the way
the Gabuggis work," Balki warns, "They wait 'til you're at the peak of
your lie and then they push you off into the abyss of your own
humiliation." This is when Larry says he understands why sheep can
run for public office on Mypos. Grant skates and says hi to
"Wheels" and "Catch you later," then skates away.
"Cousin, at the risk of having you insult my country and its elected
officials, I must warn you the Gabuggis are closing in." "Look,
if you'll keep quiet about the Gabuggis for the next ten hours, I promise I'll
tell Jennifer I lied about being able to skate," Larry promises.
"Okay, Cousin," Balki says, "It's a deal. Perhaps the white
light of my honesty will distract them. If that doesn't work, I'll have to
show them a little more thigh."
- There is a
montage of scenes which are explained like this:
A series of vignettes, showing the Skate-a-thon in progress:
1. The clock shows it's the first hour of
the Skate-a-thon.
2. A crowd of people skate by.
Jennifer and Mary Anne skate by having fun. Larry and Balki are
skating. Balki is having fun. Larry is skating pretty well but not
having fun.
3. Balki skates by holding a tray of hors
d'oeuvres, passing them out.
4. Grant skates by with Jennifer.
Larry tries to catch up but can't.
5. The clock shows there are five hours
left.
6. Mary Anne takes a picture of
Larry. The flash blinds him. He skates into the wall.
7. The crowd of skaters has thinned
out. We see people giving up. Larry is still skating, growing weary,
stumbling occasionally. Balki skates by reading a book. The title is
"Men of Sheep and the Women Who Love Them."
8. The clock shows only one hour left in
the Skate-a-thon.
9. Larry is barely moving. A
fresh-as-a-daisy Grant skates by Larry -- backward. Larry gathers up his
strength.
8. The clock shows there are only twenty
seconds left.
- At
the end of the skate-a-thon, when Jennifer and Mary Anne are calling out for
Larry and Balki respectively, Jennifer asks, "Why can't you ever cheer for
my boyfriend?" "Because your boyfriend is dragging mine
down," Mary Anne explains. Larry asks, "Am I moving?" and
Balki says, "I'm moving for two." When they are done skating,
the directions say Balki and Larry sit on the wall. After Jennifer points
out that Larry has raised the most money and Larry says he was happy just to
raise the money, Balki says, "Cousin, don't you have a promise to
keep?" Quietly he prods, saying, "The truth?"
"Right, Balki. Thanks for reminding me." Larry turns to
Jennifer. "Jennifer, the truth is, I promise to do this every
year." Balki is shocked.
- Instead
of saying "I'll give it a shot," Grant says, "Watch!"
After Larry complains that they're taking Grant's picture after everything Balki
says, "Cousin, I hate to add insects to injury, but if there's one thing
that really gets the Gabuggis ticked off, it's when you promise to tell the
truth and tell another lie." "Do me a favor," Larry says,
"Sic the Gabuggis on Grant. He must have lied sometime in his
life." The rest of the scene plays out the same, except for the very
end when Balki skates to Larry on the floor and says, "Peek-Gabuggi,
Cousin."
- Mary
Anne's line "You were crazy to try to jump any barrels" is still in
this version of the script. After Jennifer says, "I didn't think it
was important," Mary Anne says, "Well, it is to Grant."
"And to Cousin Larry," Balki adds. After Balki says the Gabuggis
are probably on their way back to Washington, Larry says, "Well, it's been
a rich, full day. I think I'll go to my room now." "Let me
help you, Cousin," Balki offers. Balki then wheels Larry to his room
like a hand dolly with Larry directing him, saying, "Now swing it on
in."
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