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Perfect
Strangers Episode Guide
EPISODE
66 - The 'King' and I
First Air Date:
February 24, 1989
Nielsen Rating: 16.7 HH
Co-Producer:
James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Robert Blair
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Belita Moreno: Miss Lydia Markham
Guest Cast:
Jo Marie Payton-France: Harriette Winslow
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley
Terrence E. McNally: Lamont Cassidy
Ron Perkins: Mr. Ronald Yates
Dimitri Appearances:
Dimitri is not seen in this episode.
Balki-isms:
"Then I need to talk to you, because I got some problems with my hip . . .
"
"Oh, I love Charro! Especially when he takes his sword and makes the
sign of the Z!"
"Cousin, I don’t think that’s a good idea. We might get tire
marks on it."
"Really? I have an Uncle Sam myself. Actually, his name is
Salmonella after the fish and the jazz singer."
Don’t be
ridiculous: Said twice in this episode.
Other catchphrases
used in this episode:
"Oh my Lord!"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Balki and Larry say the same thing at the same time
Harriette insults Lydia
Balki picks up Larry and carries him when Larry is being stubborn
Balki and Larry sit in unison
Balki laughs at his own practical joke
Lydia has a fear of something, in this case pom poms
Songs:
"Suspicious Minds" and "Heartbreak Hotel" - performed by
Balki when he thinks he’s Elvis.
Interesting facts:
- The episode title is derived from the name of the popular musical, The
King and I, with ‘King’ in quotes to refer to Elvis Presley, who was
known as ‘The King.’
- Amongst the posters decorating the walls are ones
for the James Dean films Giant and Rebel Without a Cause.
There is also a
poster of James Dean by the front door. On the front door itself is a
poster for singing star Fabian, who made a notable appearance on Laverne and
Shirley.
- The three background actors we saw in the
previous episode, Blind Alley, all appear at the party in this episode as
well.
- When Lydia introduces Lamont to Balki and Larry
they both reach to shake his hand at the same time, leading to an awkward
moment.
- Actor Terrence E. McNally made a couple of
appearances on Perfect Strangers’ predecessor, Mork & Mindy.
Formerly
married to actress Julie Brown, he also penned the novelty song which she
recorded in 1984 entitled The Homecoming Queen’s Got a Gun.
- Lamont hypnotizes Lydia into thinking she is
Charo, who is also known as the "cuchi-cuchi girl." A talented
singer and guitarist, Charo made her first notable appearance in the U.S. on the
1960's show Laugh-In. Oddly enough, while Charo is not directly
connected with the 50's there is an obscure connection in that Elvis Presley
starred in a film called Charro! (which is a Mexican word for cowboy) in
1969. You can visit Charo’s official site by clicking here.
- The accidental hypnotizing of someone is a
standard in sitcom lore, taken to it’s finest level on The Dick Van Dyke
Show in almost the same plot context as here, only Rob Petrie is hypnotized
to act drunk any time he hears a bell.
- Bronson was anything but a media-baby, so when he
was called upon to imitate or perform something from popular culture the
producers would provide him with materials to study. This was the case
with Elvis Presley. In one interview, Bronson said he hadn’t cared a
thing about Elvis until this script came along and he had to thoroughly research
the singer / actor to learn his mannerisms and style of speech. " . .
. I watched a tape of every single thing he did - and now I always smile when I
see Elvis, and say, ‘That’s an outtake from a 1956 Sun Records
session.’" (Thanks to Cousin Quidget for finding the article
which referenced this episode)
- When Balki, as Elvis, calls out "Red?
You wanna take care of this one?" he’s referring to Red West, who was a
longtime friend of Elvis from high school and later became Elvis’ driver and
bodyguard. Another reference Balki makes is to "The Colonel."
Colonel Tom Parker was Elvis’ manager throughout of his career.
- All the instrumental music between the scenes is
performed in a 50's rock and roll style.
- When Balki is choreographing the number with Mr.
Gorpley, he mentions that he’ll start out in front of his cell. This is
a reference to the Jailhouse Rock number made famous in the movie by the
same name.
- When Gorpley starts to count to three, saying
"One!" and Balki answers with "For the money" then
"Two," "For the show," it is a reference to the opening
lines of Elvis’ 1956 hit Blue Suede Shoes written by Carl Perkins.
-
Character actor Ron Perkins also had a recurring role as Pete Wilkins on
the ABC hit series Roseanne. More recently he has appeared as Dr.
Simpson on the popular Fox series, House.
- Larry refers to This is Your Life, which
was a popular radio and television series in which celebrities and other notable
people were surprised by the appearance of friends and colleagues as they look
back at the special guest star’s life.
- Balki’s comment, "Take it home, Shaun!
Jam!" may be reference to Shaun Nielsen, a tenor gospel singer who sang
with Elvis on tour and in the studio in the later years.
Bloopers and
Inconsistencies:
- In the final scene, Lamont says they just came by to pick up his bell.
After he and Lydia leave, Larry notes that Lamont forgot his bell again.
But why is no mention made of his leaving his bell the first time, since
they’re mentioning it now? A missing scene, which you can read in the
script variations below, explains this.
Synopsis:
The episode begins in the apartment, which is decorated for a 50's theme party.
A jukebox by the kitchen is playing "At the Hop" while guests mill
about, all dressed in clothes from that era. Balki exits the bathroom just
as Larry walks out of his bedroom and they meet in the hallway, walking into the
living room together. Larry is dressed a la Pat Boone while Balki is
dressed more as a hip rock and roller. They stand, leaning to examine each
other’s hairstyles, then they both say, "Nice hair!" to one another.
Harriette approaches, dancing, and says, "Hi guys! A fifties party is
a great idea!" "Thank you," Larry and Balki say as
Harriette joins some other people and they dance back across the living room in
a line.
There
is a knock at the door and Balki reaches over to open it. Jennifer and
Mary Anne walk in. Jennifer is wearing a conservative 50's girl outfit and
Mary Anne is wearing a dress, hat and glasses like an old woman. They all
say hi to one another. "I’m sorry we’re late," Mary Anne
apologizes, "I couldn’t decide what outfit to wear."
"Well, uh, Mary Anne," Larry comments, "I could be wrong but that
outfit doesn’t look like something from the fifties." "Oh, from
the fifties!" Mary Anne gasps, "I thought we were supposed to dress
like we were in our fifties." "I spent about twenty
minutes on it and then just gave up," Jennifer explains. "Well,
come on in!" Larry urges and they enter, Mary Anne asking Balki if her
outfit is okay and Balki assures her it is.
Larry is about to close the door when
Lydia walks through the door with a handsome gentleman. Lydia is wearing a
Mickey
Mouse Club costume with ears and her name across her chest.
"Hi!" Lydia announces, waving at everyone. "Oh hi!"
Larry says, closing the door behind them. Balki comes over and kisses
Lydia on the cheek. "Uh, this is my friend, Lamont Cassidy,"
Lydia introduces her date. Balki and Larry say hello and shake hands with
him. "Lamont is a hypnotherapist," Lydia explains.
"Oh really?" Balki asks, "Then I need to talk to you, because I
got some problems with my hip. I just don’t know what it is . . . does
this leg look shorter to you? Because, you know, the hip girdle, it’s
all at a funny angle." "No, no," Larry interrupts,
"Not a hip therapist. A hypnotherapist." "What that
is?" Balki asks. "Well, that’s someone who uses hypnosis to
put people to sleep and make them act like dogs and other barnyard
animals," Larry answers. "Actually, I use hypnosis to break
people of certain behavioral patterns," Lamont explains, "like
smoking, overeating . . . rudeness." Lamont aims the last one
directly at Larry.
"Lamont
has successfully cured migraines and back problems and a myriad of sexual
dysfunctions," Lydia announces. "And that was just for
Lydia!" Harriette adds. "Um, Mr. Cassidy, could you show me how
that you make people go to sleep and then act like animals?" Balki asks,
"Because I haven’t seen a really good mongoose impression since I left
Mypos." "I don’t know, Balki," Lamont hesitates.
"Oh, come on, Lamont," Lydia giggles, "You can hypnotize me!
You know how easy I am!" Realizing how that came out, Lydia quickly
clarifies, "To hypnotize. Hypnotize." "Okay,
sure," Lamont agrees, and he leads Lydia to sit on the couch, saying,
"Come on, Lydia." "Everybody! Everybody!" Balki
calls, "Mr. Cassidy is going to hypnotize Lydia!" Everyone
gathers around the couch as Lamont sits on the chair opposite Lydia on the
couch.
Lamont pulls a watch on a chain out his
pocket and dangles it in front of Lydia. "Okay. Now Lydia,
concentrate on the watch. Your
eyes are tired. They’re getting heavy. You can hardly . . . "
Lydia’s head drops to her chest. "Boy, she is easy!"
Harriette says. "Okay now, Lydia," Lamont continues, "When
you hear a bell you’ll become Charo, and you’ll be Charo until you hear the
bell again." "Oh, I love Charo!" Balki says,
"Especially when he takes his sword and makes the sign of the Z!"
"No, that’s Zorro," Larry explains, "This is Charo."
"Oh, this is Charo!" Balki understands. "Yes," Larry
confirms. Lamont continues. "When I snap my fingers, you will
wake up." Lamont snaps his fingers and Lydia awakens, looking around
in confusion for a moment. "Oh, Lamont, I hope I didn’t do anything
silly," Lydia smiles. "No, of course not," Lamont assures
her. "Oh good!" Lydia laughs, "Because, you know, as a
nationally syndicated advice columnist, I have to maintain a certain amount of .
. . . "
Lamont rings a little bell and Lydia
immediately starts acting like Charo, crying, "Coochi, coochi, coochi!
I am so happy to be
here! Could you lower the lights and I do a little number for you!
Arriba! Arriba! Arriba! Arriba!" Lamont rings the
bell again and Lydia picks up where she left off before becoming Charo.
" . . . to maintain a certain amount of professionalism. You know, I
have a reputation to protect." Lamont snaps his fingers and Lydia’s
head drops again. "Okay, when I clap my hands you will wake up,"
Lamont says, "And you will remember nothing of what just happened."
Lamont claps his hands and Lydia wakes up. Everyone applauds.
"Thank you!" Lydia smiles, then looks at Lamont and asks, "You
didn’t make me do the rooster, did you?" "No, no," Lamont
assures her. "That was wonderful!" Balki says, standing up,
"I don’t believe it! I want you do that to my Cousin Larry."
Balki runs to Larry as everyone in the room agrees. "No, no, no.
I don’t think so," Larry argues, "There is no way I could be
hypnotized. My will is too strong."
Balki picks Larry up around the middle and
carries him to the couch. "You might be surprised, Larry,"
Lamont says. "Okay, all right," Larry says, sitting on the
couch, "Take your best shot." "Oh!" Balki says,
kneeling down next to the couch, "Make him
somebody famous." A timer goes off in the kitchen. "Oh,
uh, I’ll get the pizza rolls," Larry says, starting to get up.
Balki stops him, saying, "No, no, Cousin. You stay here and you let
Mr. Cassidy hypnotize you. I go get the pizza rolls." Balki
runs to the kitchen as Lamont picks up the watch and dangles it in front of
Larry. "Remember to concentrate on the watch. Your eyes are
tired." Larry eyes follow the watch. Balki finishes getting the
pizza rolls out of the oven and walks to the kitchen counter, leaning on it to
watch the proceedings. "Your eyelids are getting heavy," Lamont
continues, "You can hardly keep them open." As he speaks, Larry
starts to nod but Balki also starts to nod off at the counter, although no one
in the room notices this. "You’re getting very, very sleepy.
You are falling into a deep, deep sleep." Larry’s head drops and
Balki collapses across the counter. "When you hear a bell, you will
think that you’re Elvis Presley," Lamont suggests, "And you will be
Elvis until you hear that bell again. Now when I snap my fingers, you will wake
up."
Lamont snaps his fingers and Larry lifts
his head. Balki also gets up from the counter, looking confused.
"Wow . . . what
happened?" Larry asks, "I can’t remember a thing." Lamont
rings his little bell. Larry makes a strange face and starts rubbing his
neck, saying "I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody . . .
instead of a bum. Which is what I am." As Larry is saying this,
Balki starts to gyrate like Elvis Presley in the kitchen, moving his hips and
hands rhythmically, but no one in the living room sees this because they are
watching Larry. "Wow, that’s uncanny!" Mary Anne says.
"Wait a minute!" Jennifer says, "That’s not Elvis.
That’s Marlon Brando." "Well, I don’t do Elvis," Larry
says in his own voice, "And I don’t get hypnotized, either."
Larry reaches down and rings Lamont’s little bell. Balki stops being
Elvis when he hears the bell ring. "Well, Larry’s proved his
point," Lamont says, "Some people can’t get hypnotized.
They’re too rigid." Balki carries the tray of pizza rolls into the
living room and says, "Here I am! Thanks for waiting. Go ahead,
Mr. Cassidy. Hypnotize Cousin Larry." Everyone looks confused.
The
next morning in the apartment Balki is cleaning up after breakfast. His
hair is still in the 50's style from the night before. The telephone rings
and he becomes Elvis, picking up the phone and answering, "Graceland"
with Elvis’ accent. "Uh, I’m sorry, ma’am . . . we don’t have
any Balki Bartokomous here. How did you get this number? Uh . . .
who you talkin’ to? Well . . . folks call me ‘The King.’ Hold
on." He calls out to the apartment, "Red? You wanna take
care of this one? Pick up on three!" He hangs up the phone and
stands in the kitchen, looking at the stove. "I’m gonna fry me a
peanut butter and banana sandwich," he announces.
At the Chicago Chronicle, Larry is working
at his desk. Balki enters, still acting like Elvis. "‘xcuse
me, Mister," he says to Larry. Larry
stands up, asking, "Where have you been?" "Well, uh . . .
I’ve been to Memphis . . . I’ve been to, uh, Nashville . . . I guess I’ve
been more places than you can shake a stick at." "What are you
talking . . . ? What happened to your accent?" Larry asks.
"Well, uh, I’ve been taking acting lessons," Balki explains,
"The Colonel wants me to make another picture. Look, uh . . . I just
stopped by to return this." He holds up an ornate wallet.
"I found it in my pants’ pocket." "Well, of course you
found it in your pants pocket, it’s your wallet," Larry points out.
"Uh, no sir, it’s not mine," Balki says, "It says it belongs to
a Balki Bartokomous. It says on the identification card that he works
here." " Bad day to fool around," Larry says, "Look, I
gotta run this up to the city desk. When I get back I wanna take a look at
your tax return and run over the numbers." Larry heads for the
staircase. "All right," Balki says, moving to the middle of the
basement floor by the stairway, "While you’re gone I’m gonna run over a
number of my own." Larry eyes Balki in disbelief and says, "You
do that." Larry heads up the stairs.
As Balki stands, he counts down "One,
two . . . one, two, three, four . . . " and then starts gyrating his hips
to music in his head. Mr.
Gorpley enters from the loading dock and sees Balki moving strangely. He
stops, looking at him in confusion. "Oh good, you’re here for the
rehearsal," Balki says, "Okay, I’ll show you how the number
goes." Balki runs up the stairs to the first landing and continues,
"I stand like this up here in front of my cell, the music comes in, and I
start to go like this." He begins gyrating his hips again.
"And then I come down here like this." He comes down the stairs,
moving his hips with each step. "Now, don’t worry, now, because uh,
I’m choreographing this number myself and I want everyone to have fun. I
wanna work with ya. But uh . . . let’s just see if we can get a little .
. . a little . . . " He takes his knee and pushes on the back of
Gorpley’s left knee, trying to get him to flex it a bit. " . . . in
your knees and in your hips, man." Balki "bumps"
Gorpley’s hip with his own. "You gotta just let out what you’re
feelin’. That’s what music’s all about. Come on, baby.
Burn me up this time, put a little fire into it!"
"If you don’t start behaving like
yourself by the time I count to three," Gorpley warns, "You are out of
a job! One!" "For the money," Balki says.
"Two," Gorpley continues. "For the show!" Balki says.
The telephone rings and Balki becomes Balki again,
looking at Mr. Gorpley. "Hi, Mr. Gorpley. Where did you come
from?" "Minneapolis," Gorpley answers, "And it’s
really none of your business!" Gorpley walks to his office as the
phone rings again. Balki becomes Elvis again and walks to the phone,
shaking his hips on the way. The phone rings once more before Balki
reaches it and he picks it up as Balki. "Hello?" Balki says into
the receiver, "Oh no, this is the basement. Complaints is extension
6830. You’re welcome." Balki hangs up the phone. Balki
sees his wallet sitting on Larry’s desk and picks it up, looking around in
confusion, then putting it back into his pocket. The elevator door opens
and Larry steps out, saying, "Thank you, Harriette." "All
right, sweetie," Harriette answers as she closes the door. Larry walks to
his desk, saying, "All right, Balki, come on. We gotta get to your
tax audit. We’ll run over your return in the car."
"Cousin, I don’t think that’s a good idea," Balki says worriedly,
"We might get tire marks on it." "Get in the car,"
Larry says seriously. Balki runs past him and they head into the parking
garage.
We
see the exterior of a building with a sign reading "Internal Revenue
Service Building." A man is sitting at his desk and hits the intercom
button on his phone. "Charlotte, send in my next appointment."
Larry opens the door and he and Balki enter. "Hi," Larry says.
"Hi," the man says, standing. "Hi!" Balki offers,
walking up and hugging the man, "I’m Balki Bartokomous. This is my
Cousin Larry." "Ronald Yates, I’ll be your auditor," the
man introduces himself, "Why don’t you sit down and we’ll get
started." "Well, thank you," Balki says as he and Larry sit
down across from the desk, "It’s a nice place you’ve got here. So
. . . green. Did you decorate it yourself?" "Uh, no.
Uncle Sam did that for me," Mr. Yates answers. "Really?"
Balki asks, "I have an Uncle Sam myself. Actually, his name is
Salmonella after the fish and the jazz singer." "Balki, this is
a tax audit," Larry explains, "Not ‘This is Your Life.’"
The
telephone on the auditor’s desk rings and Balki starts gyrating in his seat
like Elvis. Mr. Yates picks up the phone. "Yates speaking. Yes,
sir? I’ll be right there." Mr. Yates hangs up and stands,
asking, "Uh, will you excuse me for a moment?" "Yes,"
Larry answers. Mr. Yates leaves the office. "Well, he seems
like a nice guy," Larry comments. "Yeah. Think I’ll buy
him a Cadillac," Balki says. Larry looks at Balki strangely, asking,
"What?" "Buying Cadillacs for people makes me feel
good," Balki says, "You want one?" "Will you stop
that?" Larry asks. "Stop what?" Balki asks.
"Stop pretending to be somebody else," Larry says, "Who are you,
anyway?" "Well, uh . . . folks call me ‘The King.’"
"The king of what?" Larry asks. "Man, that’s cute,"
Balki smiles, "I’ll have to tell that one to Priscilla when I get back to
Graceland." Larry’s eyes open wide and he stares at Balki in shock.
"Oh my Lord! You think you’re Elvis!" "Well, of
course I do! Don’t be ridiculous!" Balki says.
"You must have got hypnotized at the
party," Larry says worriedly, "Oh, okay. All right, all right,
all right. Snap out of it!" Larry
snaps his fingers but Balki is still Elvis. "Snap out of it!"
Larry repeats, trying again and again. "Uh, no offense, man, but you
ain’t got no rhythm," Balki says, "It goes like this."
Balki stands up, snapping his fingers, and launches into "Suspicious
Minds," dancing along as he sings. "All right, all right, all
right," Larry says, trying to think quickly, "What did Lamont do?
He rang a little bell! He rang a bell!" Larry thinks a moment
then realizes, "The phone! The phone!" He gets up and goes
to the phone, looking at it to write down the phone number on the envelope he
brought Balki’s tax return in. Larry then runs out the door to the
waiting room. A moment later the phone on the desk rings and Balki stops
being Elvis. Larry races back through the door, launching himself across
the desk to pick up the receiver before the phone can ring again.
Balki
eyes Larry in shock. "Cousin, you’re acting a little strange,"
Balki notes. "Balki?" Larry asks. "Yes?" Balki
asks, sounding worried. "It’s you," Larry sighs with relief,
hanging up the phone and getting off the desk, "It worked."
"What worked?" Balki asks, "Did I pass my audit?"
"No," Larry answers. "Where did Mr. Yates go?"
"Well, he . . . " "Why am I so sweaty?" Before
Larry can explain anything, Mr. Yates enters the office again.
"Excuse the interruption," he says, walking to his desk,
"Sorry." "Uh, look," Larry begins, "I can see
you’re very busy so if you have any questions about the return why don’t you
give us a call? Come on, Balki." "I have questions about
the return," Mr. Yates says, "That’s why you’re here."
"Cousin, what . . . what are you doing?" Balki asks in exasperation,
"You’re acting very peculiar. Very peculiar." Balki and
Larry sit down again.
Mr. Yates pushes the intercom button on
his phone and says,"Charlotte, I’m expecting a call from my wife any
minute. Would you
pick up when it rings?" Upon hearing the word "rings,"
Larry gets panicked. "Oh! Oh!" he cries, holding his hand
up over his eyes, "Gosh, the glare from that window. You mind if I,
uh, tilt the blind?" Larry gets up and walks past Mr. Yates, desk,
going straight to where the phone cord goes into the wall. Without a
moment’s hesitation, Larry grabs the wire and yanks it out of the wall.
Balki gets to his feet and he and Mr. Yates stare at Larry in shock as Larry
stands with the frayed cord in his hand. "What do you think you’re
doing?" Mr. Yates asks. "Oh goodness!" Larry says
innocently, "How’d that happen?" "How did that
happen?" Balki asks, "You walked over and yanked it out of the wall!
What are you doing?" "Balki, Balki," Larry tries to stop
him, "Just let Mr. Yates finish the audit. I’m sorry about the
phone. I was raised among the Amish." Mr. Yates gets to his
feet and says, "Could everyone just stay seated while we get through
this?" Larry and Balki sit down, crossing their legs at the same
time.
"Now, Mr. Bartokomous," Mr.
Yates begins, "how much did you earn last year?" "Well, uh,
let me think," Balki says, and then a clock hanging on the wall starts to
chime three o’clock. Balki becomes Elvis on the first chime, gyrating
and shouting, "Take it home, Shaun! Jam!" The clock chimes
again and Balki becomes Balki again, saying, "Let me think. Um . . .
must have been . . . " The
clock chimes the third time and Balki is Elvis again. "Can’t stop
it now, baby! Can’t stop it now!" "Excuse me? Sir?"
Mr. Yates asks, "Your income from last year?" "Well, I have
no idea," Balki answers, "The Colonel handles all my money."
"And I’m the Colonel," Larry improvises, "Colonel Larry
Appleton. And this Colonel can assure you that this gentleman’s income
was exactly what it says on that tax return." "Could you let
your friend answer the questions?" Mr. Yates asks, then addresses Balki,
"Sir? Mr. Bartokomous . . . " "Uh, my name isn’t
Bartokomous," Balki says as he gets up and approaches the desk,
"It’s, uh, Presley. Elvis Aaron Presley. Uh . . . maybe you
get a lot of Elvises in here, I dunno, but . . . " Balki walks around
the chairs to the back wall. " . . . so you know which one I am . . .
" Balki grabs a barometer that has a long neck from the wall and
holds it like a guitar. "I’m gonna sing ya a song."
Balki jumps up onto Mr. Yates desk, landing on his knees and strumming the
barometer as he sings "Heartbreak Hotel."
Back at the apartment that evening, Larry
is sitting on the couch. There is a knock at the door and he goes to
answer it. Lydia enters with Lamont. "We got here as fast as we
could!" Lydia says, "How is he?" "Well, he’s in his
room being Elvis," Larry
answers, "I got tired of ringing the bell." Lamont nods and
says, "Well, I’ll just have to hypnotize him again to remove the
suggestion." "All right, I’ll get him," Larry says,
"Now . . . bear with me because this is the only thing that he responds
to." Larry hesitates, then says in a booming announcer’s voice,
"Ladies and gentlemen! The Grand Showroom of the Las Vegas Hilton is
proud to present . . . the one . . . the only . . . Elvis!" Balki
comes out of his bedroom and walks to the middle of the living room, wearing a
white sparkling sequined jumpsuit. He gets down on one knee and holds out
the cape of the suit, which is covered with blue sequins, on both sides.
He takes a wood candlestick from the fireplace mantle and talks into it like a
microphone. "Thank you. You’ve been a really fantastic
audience. A really beautiful audience. Uh, first picture that I ever
made was called ‘Love Me Tender’ . . . I’d like to sing it for you right
now."
"Balki, when I snap my fingers
you’re going to fall asleep," Lamont says. He snaps his fingers and
Balki topples face first to the
floor behind the couch. "Now wait a minute," Larry complains,
"I snapped my fingers ‘til I had blisters and it didn’t work for
me." "Well, it’s not just the snap, it’s also the sound of
my voice," Lamont explains, "Balki, when you hear a bell you will no
longer be Elvis. You understand?" "Well, of course I do,
don’t be ridiculous," Balki answers, still laying on his face on the
carpet. "When I clap my hands you’ll wake up and you will remember
nothing of what happened yesterday." Lamont claps his hands.
Balki slowly gets to his knees, looking surprised. "Lydia! Mr.
Cassidy! What are you doing here?" "Um, we just stopped by
to pick up my bell," Lamont explains. "Oh! Oh!" Larry
remembers, fishing into his pocket to pull out the little bell. He rings
it in front of Balki, who simply says, "Pretty." Larry sighs
with relief. "Looks like he’s okay," Lamont observes.
"Well, we have to be going," Lydia says, leading Lamont to the door,
"Lamont is gonna hypnotize me to help me get over my fear of pom poms."
As they reach the door, Lydia spots some pom poms on the wall, decorations from
the 50's party. She lets out a scream and cries, "Look!
There’s one now!" She spots one on the other side of the door and
screams again. Lamont finally manages to get her out the door.
Larry closes the door behind them.
Balki is looking down at himself, still holding the candlestick. "Why
am I wearing a sequined
jumpsuit?" he asks. "Balki, last night when Lamont tried to
hypnotize me, you got hypnotized instead," Larry explains, "You
thought you were Elvis all day. You made me take you shopping."
Balki thinks, then asks, "I didn’t turn into Elvis during the audit, did
I?" "Well, yes, yes," Larry answers, "But it’s okay.
Mr. Yates finally believed you’d been hypnotized but not until after you tried
to hit the high note in ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone.’" "Boy,
I wish I could have been there," Balki sighs. "Balki, it’s
good to have you back," Larry says. "Thank you, Cousin,"
Balki replies, "It’s good to be back. Even though I don’t know
where I’m back from." Larry looks down and realizes he still has
Lamont’s bell in his hand. "Oh, can you believe that? Lamont
left his little bell again." Larry rings it and Balki starts to sing
"Heartbreak Hotel." Larry turns to look at Balki in shock and
Balki smiles and points at Larry, saying, "Got you, Cousin!"
Balki laughs at his practical joke.
Script Variations:
There are some notable
differences between the shooting script dated February 13, 1989 and the aired
episode:
- When
Lydia says "You know how easy I am" she specifically says to Harriette,
"To hypnotize." Harriette replies with, "I didn't
say anything."
- After Balki says, "Make him be someone
famous," he thinks and adds, "I know -- Travos Kalidikos."
"Who's that?" Mary Anne asks. "Get out of the city!"
Balki gasps, "You never heard of Travos Kalidikos? He's the biggest
rock 'n' roll star on Mypos. Women and small livestock faint when they see
him. You can't tell me you never heard his hit single, 'Rock Around the
Flock.'" Everyone says no. "What about 'Twist and
Snout'?" They all say no. "I don't believe this. On
Mypos, we heard all about Elvis and he wasn't nearly as world famous as Travos
Kalidikos." "Balki, it really doesn't matter," Larry says,
"He's not going to be able to hypnotize me." The timer goes off
in the kitchen and Balki goes to get the pizza rolls. After Lamont starts
to hypnotize Larry, he says, "When you hear the bell, you'll think you're .
. . " "Make him think he's Elvis," Jennifer suggests,
"I'd love to see him try to curl that upper lip."
- The morning scene in the apartment was actually
longer. Larry is in the kitchen, dressed for work. He crosses to the
bookcase and picks up a manila envelope. Balki enters from his bedroom,
partially dressed for work. "Cousin, what are you doing up so
early?" Balki asks. "Balki, I'm leaving for work early,"
Larry explains, "Marshall and Walpole have a lot for me to do and I want to
get ready for your tax audit. You haven't forgotten your tax audit, have
you?" "Oh, I wouldn't forget my appointment with the We Are
Us," Balki assures him. "The IRS," Larry corrects.
"You are who?" Balki asks. "The Internal Revenue
Service," Larry explains. "Oh, oh, oh right," Balki says,
looking around, "I guess we'll clean up this place tonight when we get
home." Larry sees Lamont's bell sitting on the end table.
"Oh, look, Lamont forgot his little bell. Do you believe that
guy?" Larry picks up the bell and rings it. Balki becomes Elvis
but Larry doesn't notice. "He acts like he doesn't want to hypnotize
people at parties, but he carried this little bell around with him," Larry
scoffs. He rings the bell again and Balki becomes Balki again.
"I can't believe he thought he could hypnotize me," Larry continues.
"He sure did a good job with Lydia," Balki notes. "Balki,
Lydia gets hypnotized watching clothes spin around in dryer," Larry says,
"See you at work." Larry exits out the front door with the
folder. This is when Balki starts cleaning the plates off the counter and
the phone rings.
- The scene in the newsroom begins differently,
too. Larry is talking to Harriette, saying, "What am I going to do?
Balki hasn't shown up yet and his tax audit is in twenty minutes."
"Maybe the pressure of the audit is getting to him," Harriette
suggests, "I remember when I was audited. I was so upset, I didn't
know which way was up. Which is dangerous when you're an elevator
operator." The elevator buzzes three times. "Buzz all you
want," Harriette calls, "I'm not going to get there any faster."
To Larry she says, "You've got to teach them a little respect."
Harriette exits in the elevator and Larry goes to his desk and this is when
Balki arrives as Elvis.
- When Balki explains about his Uncle Salmonella
being named after the fish and the jazz singer, he adds, "His mother liked
both so . . . " before Larry interrupts.
- There is a segment at the auditor's office which
isn't in the episode. After Larry manages to get the phone to ring to turn
Balki back into Balki and Mr. Yates comes back in his office, Mr. Yates asks,
"Is this the tax return you filed last year?" "Yes, it
is," Balki answers, "But I didn't do it all myself. Cousin Larry
helped me." "Good, now . . . " Mr. Yates begins, but a
woman pushes a small coffee wagon to the door. She asks, "Your usual,
Mr. Yates?" "Oh, thanks, Cleo," he says. Cleo takes a
cup of coffee and a cheese danish off the cart and takes them to Mr. Yates.
Balki notices there is a bell on her cart. "Oh, look Cousin,"
Balki says. "Not now, Balki," Larry insists. "She has
a little bell on her cart," Balki notes. Before Larry can stop him,
Balki rings the bell and becomes Elvis. "Baby, you look sexy tonight,
you start the hammers pounding in my skull," Balki says to Cleo, doing an
Elvis pucker and kissing her. Cleo is in awe and says, "I get off at
six." Larry reaches over and rings the bell on her cart and Balki
becomes Balki again. "Nice bell," Larry comments. Cleo
blows Balki a kiss and exits. "Boy, everyone here is so
friendly," Balki notes. This is when Larry tries to say to the
auditor that he appears to be busy. The way the scenes appear in the final
episode it seems as if this part was dropped before the actual filming, although
the part of Cleo had already been cast and was supposed to be played by Debra
Christofferson.
- After Balki turns into Elvis and starts to sing
"Heartbreak Hotel" for the auditor, Larry tries to explain it by
saying, "You're probably wondering why he's doing that. You see, last
night we were giving a little party for one of our friends. It was a
fifties thing. And as luck would have it, there was a hypnotist there.
I said I couldn't be hypnotized and I was right. Unfortunately . . .
" and the scene dissolves.
- After Larry says, "Balki, last night when
Lamont tried to hypnotize me, you got hypnotized instead. You thought you
were Elvis all day. You made me take you shopping," Balki responds by
saying, "Wait a minute. Are you saying last night Lamont tried to
hypnotize you and I got hypnotized instead? And I thought you was Elvis
all day and made me take you shopping?" "Yes," Larry
answers.
Continue
on to the next episode . . .
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