Nielsen Rating: 13.9 HH
PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE
EPISODE 37 - Future Shock
First Air Date: November 25, 1987
Nielsen Rating: 13.9 HH
TV Guide Description: After learning that Jennifer is moving to Los Angeles, Larry regrets that he never expressed his feelings, and dreams of a time 40 years hence, when a decrepit Larry awaits Jennifer's return.
Co-Producer: James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri can be seen
in Larry’s dream in Balki and Mary Anne’s apartment along with a female
sheep and a third sheep. In truth, this is a rare opportunity to see the
different Dimitri’s which actually appeared in the series at various times!
Balki-isms:
"There are none so blind as those who
will not hear."
"Four Mouseketeers."
"Well, I try to call them like I call
them."
"You took the bull by the horns and
you stepped in something good."
Don’t be ridiculous: Said once, but as "Don’t be absurd."
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Wwowww!"
"Oh yi yi yi, yooki biggi mooki,
Cousin Larry!"
" . . . babsticki."
"Well, we gotta go."
"Yes! Yes!"
" . . . you stepped in something
good."
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Mary Anne explains something in a way that
doesn’t really make clear sense
Larry drinks antacid from the bottle
(although this time he keeps the bottle in the cupboard and not the
refrigerator)
Larry sniffs at the air (and Balki looks
behind himself)
Larry falls down the stairs
Notable Moments:
Larry and Jennifer finally admit their
feelings of "like" for one another.
Jennifer instigates a kiss with Larry for
the first time.
Interesting facts:
- The title Future Shock is the name of a
notable book which was published in 1970 by Alvin Toffler, in which he addressed
the issues of changing from an industrial society to a super-industrial
society.
- In this episode we see the inside of
Larry’s bedroom for the first time. There we see one of the very few dream
sequences in the series, a plot device not often employed too often on this
series.
- Larry's line "Here's looking at you,
kid," is a quote from the classic film, Casablanca, starring
Humphrey Bogart,
- It was particularly funny to hear Larry
speaking Myposian in this episode, which was the first time he’d done so
without hearing it first in the series. Of course it made sense that in forty
years time Larry would have learned enough to translate "But for me the
ship has sailed."
- This episode includes one of the most
obscure and bizarre jokes of the entire series, and one that would probably go
right over the heads of most viewers . . . unless they happen to be fans of
Frank Capra’s classic film It’s a Wonderful Life. When Larry
awakens from his nightmare and runs around, relieved that he has a second
chance, he goes to the closet to put on his coat. As he does this, he pulls
something out of the pocket and exclaims "Zuzu’s petals!" This line
is a direct reference to the scene in the movie in which Jimmy Stewart, having a
second chance at life after seeing what the world would be like without him,
realizes he is back in his own reality and fumbles into his pocket to discover
he again has the petals from the flower he’d taken from a rose given to his
daughter Zuzu as a prize in school earlier in the evening . It’s a very
surreal joke for the series, seeing there’s no reason why Larry would
have Zuzu’s petals in his pocket, but also one of the funniest lines that caps
off that hilarious and insane scene perfectly.
- When Balki comments that Larry is starting to
sound like Sally Field at the Academy Awards he is referring to a notable
acceptance speech at the 1985 Oscars when she accepted the Best Actress award
for the film Places in the Heart. While she didn't exactly say
"You like me, you really like me!" in that context, the quote has
since become a staple joke.
Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- In the background of the first scene we
see two trophies sitting on the mantelpiece. One is likely Larry’s trophy he
won managing the Ritz baseball team, but the other is too small to be Balki’s
Most Valuable Player trophy from that same baseball season. So where did the
other trophy come from? Was it the bowling trophy Larry was carrying with him
into the dark living room when Balki threw him a surprise party? It seems too
small to be that one, either. The reason for the trophies on the mantel is
probably to add contrast to the future scene in which Larry has no trophies,
only photos of Jennifer, on the mantel.
- The scene in which Balki is warning
Larry that he should tell Jennifer how he feels seems to be cut short before it
was to originally end (it looks like as Balki turns away he is starting to open
his mouth to say something else). It’s possible that the line "You’re
going to be a lonely old man," which we hear Balki’s voice warn Larry
before his dream begins, might have been said during this edited continuation.
- A very funny double blooper happens as
Larry is putting on his pants to go and see Jennifer again. As Mark pulls on the
pants, part of his shirt sticks out suggestively through his fly. As the
audience starts to laugh at this, Bronson steps forward and his hands
accidentally brushes against an antacid bottle, knocking it to the floor. As
Bronson looks down at the bottle, which has landed at his feet, Mark pulls the
shirt up through the fly, both continuing on seamlessly.
- Another blooper from this episode in which Rebeca
misses her cue to say "Come in, Cousin Larry" at the same time as
Bronson can be seen on our YouTube
Channel, along with other bloopers from the series!
Synopsis:
The episode begins with a pan to the
window of Balki and Larry’s apartment and Balki’s voice over stating,
"Okay, this is a hard one. You’ll never get this." Inside the living
room, we see Balki, Mary Anne, Jennifer and Larry engaged in a game of charades.
Balki is making the motion to indicate he’s going to do a movie. "Bambi!" Mary Anne, Jennifer and Larry all guess at once.
Balki stares
at them in surprise. "You guys are good!" he exclaims. "Balki,
you always do Bambi!" Larry explains.
Balki sits next to Mary Anne on the couch.
Jennifer is sitting beside her and Larry is sitting on the chair nearest
Jennifer. "Boy, when the four of us get together we sure do have fun, don’t
we?" Mary Anne asks, then it’s obvious she’s leading into something
when she adds, "Speaking of the four of us being together, Jennifer has
something she’s been wanting to tell you." Jennifer looks nervous and
says, "Maybe later." "No, come on, what is it?" Larry asks.
"Well, the airline is giving me a promotion," Jennifer answers. Everyone reacts with enthusiasm.
"And . . . I’m moving to Los
Angeles," she adds hurriedly. Balki starts to react happily, then realizes
what this means and looks at Larry worriedly. Mary Anne blurts out, "What
do you think about that, Larry?"
Jennifer looks at Larry anxiously,
awaiting his response. "Los Angeles . . . that’s great," Larry says,
trying to be upbeat about it, "A promotion . . . in Los Angeles."
Balki asks worriedly, "Mary Anne, are you going to Los Angeles, too?"
"Oh no, I have allergies," she states matter-of-factly. "So,
Jennifer," Larry coughs, "When are you moving?" "I haven’t
given them a definite yes," Jennifer explains, "I mean, it’s a good
career move and it’s more money and the weather is great. But . . . Chicago is
my home." "What do you think about that, Larry?" Mary Anne blurts
out again and Jennifer shoots her a look.
"What do I think?" Larry asks,
unsure of himself and what to say, "I mean, she has a point. It’s a good
career move . . . more money . . . the weather is great. Maybe she should go for
it. You know what they say . . . opportunity knocks but once." Jennifer
reluctantly agrees, saying, "You’re right. I don’t know why I was so
indecisive. I guess if it’s a good career move and it’s more money and the
weather is great, well, what’s keeping me here?" She waits for Larry to
respond but he just looks nervously between them all. "Nothing,"
Jennifer realizes with disappointment.
Jennifer nudges Mary Anne’s arm and
suggests they leave since it’s late. "Thanks for the wonderful
evening," Mary Anne offers as they head for the door. Larry says good night
as they leave but Jennifer doesn’t respond. Mary Anne says good night before
closing the door behind her. Balki turns to Larry in shock. "Opportunity
knocks but once?" he asks incredulously, "The woman of 
your dreams is
leaving for California and that’s all you can say? Opportunity knocks but
once? Can you afford it?"
"All right, what was I supposed to
say?" Larry defends himself, "She obviously has her plans made and I’m
not part of them." Balki walks to Larry and places a sympathetic arm around
his shoulder, "Listen to the wisdom that made Mypos great. There are none
so blind as those who will not hear. Cousin, you’ve got to go up to her and
tell her you will die a thousand deaths if she go to California!" "Not
a chance!" Larry insists, "If I went up there and told her how I felt
she’d laugh in my face!" Larry heads to the kitchen to get some antacid.
"But, Cousin, if you don’t tell her you’ll regret it for the
rest of your life!" "Forget it, Balki!" Larry states, taking a
swig from the antacid bottle he’s 
taken from the cupboard, "Nothing you
can say will change my mind!"
That night we are inside Larry’s bedroom as he tosses and turns, in the throes of a bad dream. Balki’s voice is heard over the scene, saying, "You’re going to regret it the rest of your life. Opportunity knocks but once. You’re going to be a lonely old man . . . old man . . . old man . . . . " The scene wavers and we go inside Larry’s dream.
A well-aged Mary Anne appears in the
living room of what was the girls’ apartment upstairs (the rainbow striped
wallpaper and 
accessories pattern seen in a previous episode is still there).
The older Mary Anne surveys the room, trying to decide where to put an
arrangement of flowers. She settles on the dining room table, carrying them
over. The front door opens an older, dapper and well-groomed Balki enters.
He is
sporting a mustache and slicked, pepper-colored hair. He is carrying a
briefcase, which he sets inside the door, and wearing a smart suit jacket with
an ascot.
Balki enters, crossing to Mary Anne where
he eyes her seductively, saying, "Darling, I’m home." He dips her
into a passionate kiss, and when they straighten he exclaims, "Wwoowww!
Married 37 years and you’re still my spicy little lamb kabob." "Dinner’s almost ready," Mary Anne informs him sadly.
"I knew
that," Balki says with disappointment, moving to sit on the couch. "How was your day?" Mary Anne asks, coming over to sit on his lap.
"Well, I bought two more
shopping malls and a hotel."
"Oh Balki,
I thought we agreed we had enough hotels," Mary Anne sighs. "Well, I
know but this one had a revolving door and you know how much I love revolving
doors," Balki explains. "Oh Balki, you’ll never grow up," Mary
Anne observes. "I certainly hope not!" Balki agrees, then swings Mary
Anne down onto the couch to kiss her again.
There is a knock at the door and they
part, calling out, "Come in, Cousin Larry!" in unison. The door opens
and Larry walks in. He is a shell of a man . . . old, slow, bent . . . balding
and grey. He wears shabby clothes and an old knit jacket. Whereas Balki and Mary
Anne are bright and vibrant, Larry is decrepit and sad. "Hope I’m not
interrupting anything!" he says as he walks to them, "I brought the
rent check. I’m afraid I’m a little short this month." He hands the
check to Mary Anne who tries to give it back to him, saying, "Larry, we’ve
told you every month, you don’t
have to pay rent!
Balki owns the
building!"
Larry says he knows but explain that an Appleton likes to pay his own way. Mary Anne walks away as Larry tells them he’ll make it up next month. "How much am I behind?" he asks Balki. "Oh Cousin, I have no idea," Balki insists. Larry keeps pressing him until Balki finally admits Larry is behind $35,000. Larry gasps for air at the amount, then recovers. "I’m good for it!" he promises, "One of these days I’m gonna hit the lottery!" "Well, of course you are, don’t be absurd," Balki offers.
Larry starts sniffing at the air, asking,
"Is that pig snout I smell? I haven’t had a good pig snout dinner since,
uh . . . since, uh. . . "
"Yesterday," Mary Anne finishes.
"That’s right!" Larry confirms. "Cousin, you’re most welcome
to join us," Balki offers, motioning to the table. "Oh, well, I never
could say no to Mary Anne’s snout," Larry admits, walking to the table.
He notices there are three settings and comments, "Oh, you’re expecting
someone!" "Only you, Cousin," Balki explains. "Well, it’s
a good thing I dropped by," Larry surmises, sitting down. Balki helps Mary
Anne in her seat then sits himself.
"I made Jello for dessert," Mary Anne tells Balki in a flirtatious manner. "I love Jello," Larry interrupts, "Love Jello, always have." "You’ll never guess who I got a letter from today," Mary Anne begins, "I got a letter from Jennifer!" "Jennifer? I don’t remember any Jennifer," Larry says, obviously lying. "Remember? You let her go to Los Angeles and it ruined your life," Balki offers. "No, can’t place her," Larry states.
"In her letter she says she’s
getting a divorce," Mary Anne continues, "I think he’s a Yugoslavian
prince." "Are you sure it’s not the astronaut?" Balki asks.
"No, no, no, the prince was her second husband," Larry interrupts,
"He came between the Texas oil man and the astronaut. She’s divorcing her
fourth husband. I don’t know what he does but I think he owns Asia."
Off
Mary Anne and Balki’s startled stares Larry quickly adds, "If it’s the
Jennifer I’m thinking about." "Well, if it is the Jennifer
you’re thinking about, she’ll be in town tomorrow and she’s stopping by
here for a visit!" Mary Anne explains. "Isn’t that magnificent,
Cousin?" Balki asks, "Finally after all these years you’ll be able
to see Jennifer face to face!"
On Larry’s startled face the scene melts
into the next, which shows Larry standing in the cousin’s original apartment,
now his own. It is dark and dirty, with old newspapers and empty antacid bottles
lying around. The wallpaper is torn and tattered. There are also photos, posters
and standees of Jennifer everywhere. Larry lovingly places a framed photograph
of Jennifer onto the fireplace mantel. He reaches down to pick up one of the
loose bottles of antacid and holds it up to the picture like a toast, saying,
"Here’s looking at you, kid." He tries to take a swig but the bottle
is empty. Sadly he throws it to the floor and leans against the mantel, looking
dejected.
Balki comes in through the front door and
turns the lights on, looking around before stepping to Larry. "Cousin,
Jennifer’s here . . . we’ve all been waiting for you for twenty minutes.
That makes you a bit more than fashionably late." "I started dressing
three hours ago," Larry explains, "but I can’t help but feel . . .
something’s missing." Balki looks down, noting, "Your pants,
perhaps?" Larry is dressed in a shirt, necktie, boxer shorts, socks,
garters and shoes but isn’t wearing any pants, so Balki hands him a pair that
are lying across the back of the couch. "Cousin, you know . . . I haven’t
seen you dressed in a necktie in quite a while," Balki notes, "You cut
a fine figure." "You mean it?" Larry asks. "Would I lie to
you?" Balki asks. When Larry looks back down to continue putting on his
pants, Balki makes a face of disgust.
"Cousin, come alone . . . let’s go
and see Jennifer!" Balki encourages Larry, but Larry walks away from the
door. "Balki, what’s the point?" Larry asks, discouraged, "Any
feelings I had for Jennifer are dead and buried." Balki looks around at all
the Jennifer memorabilia and comments, "Well, from the looks of your
apartment it’s a shallow grave." "Maybe I still feel something for
Jennifer . . . so what?" Balki grabs Larry’s arms, saying, "So tell
her, man, as you ought to have done forty years ago!" "It’s too
late!" Larry insists. "It’s never too late!" Balki argues.
"It’s over . . . it’s done . . . it’s yesterday’s potatoes,"
Larry continues. "Oh yi yi yi, yooki biggi mooki, Cousin Larry!" Balki
sighs in exasperation. "Yes, yes . . . easy for you to say!" Larry
counters, "But for me the ship has sailed. Greeki baltic bowaticki . . .
biggi mooki, babasticki!"
"She said she’d love to see you
again," Balki informs Larry. "She did?" Larry asks hopefully.
"Yes, she did." "Well, I would like to see her again.
See how she’s
changed. See if the years have treated her well. We could talk about all the
things she’s done . . . all the things I haven’t done." "Cousin,
think of it, man . . . there was a spark there once. Maybe you can fan it into a
flame again." "You think so?" Larry asks excitedly. "Fan it,
man, fan it!" Balki encourages. "You’re right, Balki! Let’s go see
Jennifer!" "Oh Cousin!" Balki smiles, "Now we are so happy,
we do the Dance of Joy!" They begin the dance, Larry barely able to keep up
at all as Balki goes slowly for him. By the end Larry is so exhausted he can’t
even begin to jump into Balki’s arms, so Balki attempts to pick him up,
causing them to both fall to the floor behind the couch.
Act two begins with Larry tossing and
turning in bed again (to remind us this is a dream). "This is your second
chance!" Balki’s voice warns, "There was a spark there once. Fan it,
man, fan it! This is your last chance . . . last chance . . . last chance . . .
. " We fade again to Balki and Mary Anne’s apartment in the future were
Balki is opening the door for Cousin Larry, who is now also 
wearing a jacket.
"I don’t know about this, Balki," Larry worries, "I’m not as
cute as I used to be! I’m an old man!" "Well, Cousin, we’re all
old," Balki points out, "And, listen . . . if we didn’t get older,
we’d be dead."
Mary Anne enters from the bedroom, exclaiming, "Oh you’re here! And you look so . . . clean! Jennifer’s a little nervous about seeing you." Mary Anne walks back to look in the bedroom, as Larry turns to Balki and says, "Maybe she’s not as cute as she used to be!" Mary Anne turns back to the room, saying, "Here’s Jennifer, Larry!" Jennifer walks out of the bedroom, as radiant and beautiful and as young as ever. Larry’s eyes bug out at the sight of her. "Hi, Larry!" Jennifer smiles. "Jennifer, you haven’t changed a bit!" Larry gasps. "Well . . . . " Jennifer begins, but Larry interrupts. "No, I mean you really haven’t changed a bit! I mean, nothing! Not anything! You’re . . . gorgeous!" He starts for her lustfully but Balki holds him back, saying, "Try to show a little dignity."
Mary Anne suggests they all sit down, so
they move to the couch. Everyone sits, although Larry takes longer in doing so.
"Well, here we all are . . . together again!" Balki says, "Four
Mouseketeers." "Friends ‘til the end," Mary Anne adds.
"That’s right," Balki agrees, then says, "Well, we gotta
go." He and Mary Anne get up and walk to the door as Jennifer also stands
up and Larry chases after Balki. "What d’ya mean ‘go’? Where are you
going? You know, I just got here!" "Ever since Balki bought the Cubs
he likes to throw out the first ball," Mary Anne explains. "Of every
game!" Balki elaborates, "Baseball fever . . . I caught it and I
bought it!"
Larry grabs Balki and takes him aside,
saying, "Balki, Balki! You can’t leave me alone with Jennifer!"
"But Cousin, this is your chance to reveal to her how you feel!" Balki
explains, "The sound you hear is opportunity knocking! So you just walk
over there . . . . " "Balki, we should be going, we’re going to be
late," Mary Anne interrupts. "Darling, darling," Balki shrugs her
off, turning back to talk to Larry. "Balki, honey . . . . " Mary Anne
tries again. "Darling, we’re not going to be late," Balki assures
her. "Balki!" Mary Anne says more sternly. Balki looks at her and
says, "Darling, I’m involved." She gives him "the look"
and he finally says, "All right, let’s go." "See you
later!" Mary Anne says sweetly and she and Balki leave.
Larry walks back over to the couch and
Jennifer sits down, Larry sitting down more slowly next to her. They both start
talking at the same time and laugh at this. "Go ahead," Larry offers.
"No, you go on," Jennifer suggests. "No, ladies’ first,"
Larry insists, "What were you going to say?" "I have to go,"
Jennifer says, "I don’t have much time, I have a plane to catch."
"Jennifer, don’t go to Los Angeles!" Larry cries. "I’m not
going to Los Angeles, I’m going to Monte Carlo," Jennifer answers. "No, no!
It’s what I should have said forty years ago when you had that
job opportunity in California," Larry blurts, "I wanted you to stay in
Chicago with me. I liked you a lot then. I like you a lot now.
I’ll probably
always like you a lot."
"I like you a lot, too, Larry,"
Jennifer assures him. Larry gets excited at this, saying, "You do?
You like
me? That’s wonderful! We can build a life together! We’ll start over . . .
let’s have lots of kids! Where do you want to live? I like Chicago but
California’s probably better for my rheumatism. Oh what the heck? It doesn’t
matter where we are as long as we’re together! Oh gosh, Jennifer, I feel sixty
again!" Jennifer, who has not had a chance to even speak yet but looks less
than enthusiastic, comments, "Well, Larry, we live in different worlds now.
Mine is a world of fancy parties, lunch at the polo lounge, dinner at Maxim’s.
The cholesterol alone would kill you." She pats Larry’s hand and stands
up.
"Where are you going?" Larry
asks, getting up as well. "To the airport, that’s where they keep the
planes," Jennifer answers. "Please, don’t go!" Larry begs.
"If only you’d said something forty years ago," Jennifer says,
"Things might have been different." "I understand," Larry
sighs in a defeated voice, "Goodbye, Jennifer." He sits sadly on the
couch again. "Goodbye, Larry," Jennifer offers, then turns to walk
away. Larry launches himself off the couch and grabs onto her leg, holding on
for dear life as she tries to get to the door. Larry pleads as he's
dragged behind her, "No! Don’t leave
me! Don’t leave me!"
The scene fades back to Larry in bed,
clutching his pillow and crying "Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me!"
He awakens with a start and a second later screams a loud, long scream. We see the
dark hallway of the apartment where a disheveled Balki in pajamas opens the door
to his room, having heard the scream. Worriedly he walks to Larry’s bedroom
door which flies open and Larry rushes out, knocking Balki back against the wall
as he rushes to turn on the lights and looks around, crying, "Yes! Yes!"
He runs to the bookcase and fingers some items, crying, "Hello,
you wonderful old Myposian artifacts!"
Balki has followed Larry into the living
room, only to be knocked out of the way again when Larry runs into the bathroom
to look at himself in the mirror. "Ah ha! I have hair! I have hair!
Lots of
hair!" Larry cries happily. Larry pushes 
Balki aside once more as he runs
back into the living room and dashes to the mantel, clutching a framed picture
there. "Mom!" he cries, kissing the picture. Larry turns around and
spots Balki, as if seeing him for the first time, and clutches his arms, then
runs his fingers over Balki’s upper lip, finishing by clutching Balki’s
head. "You have no moustache!" he exclaims happily. Larry rushes to the closet and throws open
the door, getting his coat and fumbling to put it on over his pajamas. As he
does this, his hand falls into the pocket and he pulls something out, eyeing
Balki in wonder. "Zuzu’s Petals!" Larry exclaims excitedly.
He takes
a step toward Balki, who backs away in fright and confusion. "It’s not
too late!" Larry states, then runs out the front door in a hurry. "Must be an antacid flashback!" Balki surmises, still confused.
Upstairs we see the girls’ dark
apartment. There is a frantic knocking upon their door and Jennifer hurries out
of her bedroom in her bathrobe. She turns on the light and calls out, "Who
is it?" "It’s Larry, Jennifer!" comes Larry’s frantic voice.
Jennifer undoes the chain and opens the door quickly, asking, "Larry, what’s
wrong?" "Jennifer, don’t go!" Larry says firmly. "What?" Jennifer asks in confusion.
"Don’t go to Los
Angeles!" Larry insists. "You don’t want me to go?" Jennifer
asks in happy surprise. "No, no!" Larry cries, then looks worried,
"I’m not too late again, am I? You can change your mind, can’t
you?" Jennifer shakes her head and nods to these questions.
"Jennifer . . . I really like you.
I
don’t think I’ve liked anybody as much." "Oh, Larry, when you didn’t
say anything I thought you didn’t feel about me the way I feel about
you," Jennifer admits. "Well, how do you feel about me?" Larry
asks. "I like you, Larry!" Jennifer smiles, then adds, "As long
as you like me!" "I do! I do! I like you! And I want you to
stay!" "I want to stay here, too!" Jennifer assures him.
"You do?" Larry asks. "I do!" "So . . . you’ll
stay?" "I’ll stay," Jennifer confirms. "You won’t be
sorry!" Larry promises, "We’ll have fun! I’ll do nice things for
you!" He thinks a moment then asks, "You wanna pizza?"
"Larry, it’s three o’clock in the morning," Jennifer reminds him.
"Right," Larry realizes with some embarrassment, "Yes . . . I got
you up . . . I . . . I’m . . . I’ll go back downstairs, cause . . . and I
just . . . I . . . do you still like me?"
Jennifer smiles and approaches Larry
gently, kissing him on the lips. She steps back after a moment and asks,
"Does that answer your question?" Larry smiles in a dazed manner for a
second, then launches himself at Jennifer, pulling her into a full, passionate
kiss. After a moment they part, both pleasantly stunned. "I guess it
does!" Jennifer deduces. Larry stands and sighs, trying to gather himself.
"Well, I . . . I . . . I should be going," he finally says, then looks
at Jennifer questioningly, "Shouldn’t I?" "I think so,"
Jennifer finally nods. "No, I thought I should," Larry agrees, backing
to the door and smiling boyishly. "Good night," he offers, and turns
to leave. As Jennifer watches him leave she cringes as we heard the sound of
Larry yelling and crying as he tumbles down the flight of stairs, landing with a
loud thud at the bottom. "I’m fine!" he calls up afterward, and she
closes the door.
Balki is still standing in the spot where
Larry left him and watches as Larry enters, limping in pain and panting
excitedly. "Balki, you’ll never guess what happened!" Larry begins.
"You fell down the stairs!" Balki guesses. "Well, yes, but that’s
not important,"
Larry says, "Jennifer’s not going to Los Angeles!
She likes me! She really likes me!" "Cousin, you’re starting to
sound like Sally Field at the Academy Awards," Balki warns. "I can’t
help it!" Larry continues happily, "I’m so happy and I owe it all to
you, Balki. You’re the one who told me to go upstairs and tell her how I
feel." "Well, I try to call them like I call them," Balki says.
"You know, I have always let opportunity slip through my fingers because I’ve
been afraid to take chances," Larry admits, "Well, I learned a lesson
tonight!" "Yes, you did," Balki agrees, "You took the bull
by the horns and you stepped in something good." "Balki, I feel like I’m
on top of the world!" Larry proclaims, "I feel like I could do
anything! I feel . . . I feel like I broke my leg." Balki starts to help
Larry to the couch as the scene fades.
Script Variations:
There are some notable
differences between the shooting draft script dated September 22, 1987 and the
episode which aired:
- The
episode actually started with Larry doing charades in front of the group.
He acts as if he is stirring something in a bowl. "Stir?" Mary
Anne asks. "'Webster,'" Balki guesses. "Yeah,"
they all say. This is when Balki gets up for his turn and says,
"Okay. My turn. You'll have to put on your thinking caps to get
this one." He rotates his hand in front of his face to indicate a
movie and they all immediately say, "Bambi." "You guys are
good," Balki comments. "Balki, you always do Bambi," Larry
points out. "I thought I could fool you this time," Balki sighs.
-
After Jennifer says she's moving to Los Angeles, the script says that both Larry
and Balki are speechless instead of Balki reacting happily at first and then
realizing what it means.
-
After Balki asks Mary Anne if she is moving to Los Angeles, too, she replies,
"No, I have allergies. I could never live in the 'Windy
City.'" "Mary Anne, Chicago is the 'Windy City,'" Jennifer
points out. "Oh, well, I guess I could move to Los Angeles,"
Mary Anne realizes. "Please, Mary Anne, don't go," Balki begs,
"I like you and if you go away, I'll feel very sad in my heart."
"Oh, that's sweet," Mary Anne smiles, "I'd miss you, too, Balki.
I'll stay." "I'm so glad I'm not losing you, my little lamb
kabob," Balki smiles. "I'm glad, too," Mary Anne
says. They are drawn to each other. Larry and Jennifer look on
uncomfortably. "So, Jennifer, when will you be moving?" Larry
asks.
-
After the girls leave and Balki scolds Larry, Larry says, "What was I
supposed to say? She's obviously got her mind made up. I didn't want
to stand in her way." "That's exactly what she wants you to
do," Balki explains, "She was practically begging you to stand in her
way." "I didn't hear begging," Larry says, "I heard a
person going on about this great opportunity in sunny California. She's
probably up there packing right now." "Cousin, Cousin,"
Balki sighs, "Listen to the wisdom that made Mypos great. 'There are
none so blind as those who will not hear.'" "That's the wisdom
that made Mypos great?" Larry asks. "Just a taste,
actually," Balki says, "I didn't want to give you all of it at
once." He then tells Larry to get upstairs and tell Jennifer how he
feels. After Larry insists that nothing will change his mind, Balki says
something in Myposian. "Don't bother translating. I'm not
listening," Larry says, heading for his room. "It says, 'You can
lead a sheep to water but you can't make it drink,'" Balki translates
anyway. "I said I'm not listening . . . and it's a horse," Larry
calls back. Larry exits to his bedroom and slams the door.
"Horse, sheep. What difference does it make?" Balki says to
Larry's closed door, "The point is, 'It's better to have loved and lost
than to be thrown from a cliff.'" Balki exits to his room.
-
In the transition scene when Larry is seen having a nightmare and Balki's voice
is speaking over the scene, instead of repeating, "You're going to be a
lonely old man . . . old man . . . " Balki is saying, "There's no
place like home . . . there's no place like home . . . "
- In
Larry's dream, when Balki says that Mary Anne is still his spicy little lamb
kabob, Mary Anne replies, "And you're still my big leg of mutton,"
before saying, "Dinner is almost ready." Balki then replies with
disappointment, "I was afraid of that."
-
After Larry starts choking when Balki tells him how much rent he owes and Balki
pats his back, Larry says, "I'm good for it. I'm thinking about
getting my real estate license."
-
After Mary Anne tells them she made jello for dessert, Balki says, "You
insatiable love goddess. You wear me out." This is when Larry
says, "Love jello. Always have." Mary Anne goes on to say,
"You'll never guess who I got a letter from today." "Balki,
junior?" Balki guesses. "No," Mary Anne says, "Ever
since he got elected he hardly has time to write." "Oh, darling,
don't be distressed," Balki comforts her, "We'll see him next month at
Camp David." "I know that," Mary Anne smiles, then she goes
on to say she got a letter from Jennifer.
-
After telling Larry that Jennifer will be stopping by to visit tomorrow, and
Balki pointing out that Larry is finally going to see her again face to face,
Larry gets up and starts for the door. "Tomorrow night?" he
cries. "Why don't you give a guy some notice? I've got to get
to the gym." He stops to catch his breath, gasping, "Gosh, this
is a big apartment." He exits out the door. "Are you
hungry, dear?" Mary Anne asks Balki. "Yes, but not for
snout," Balki answers. Balki picks her up and carries her into the
bedroom, and they sing together, "Ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I
found you."
-
After Larry says he feels something is missing, Balki says, "As usual,
Cousin, it's your pants." Balki picks up a pair of pants, with
suspenders, that are draped over a chair. "Come on, Cousin, you want
to look nice for Jennifer." Balki starts helping Larry into them,
with difficulty. "I've changed my mind," Larry says, "I'm
not going." "Oh, yes you are," Balki insists.
"Oh, no I'm not," Larry argues. "Come on, Cousin,"
Balki says, "I want you to see Jennifer." This is when Larry
says that whatever feelings he had for Jennifer are dead and buried.
-
Before Larry speaks Myposian in this script, it's Balki who speaks Myposian to
try to convince Larry to go upstairs and Larry understands what Balki is saying
without any translation, saying first, "I know. I hear what you're
saying but it's over," and then, "Yes, yes. It's easy for you to
say but for me that ship has sailed." Larry then repeats the sentence
in Myposian, followed by a, "Huh?" Balki nods in agreement and
they sigh together. "It's hopeless," Larry sighs.
"Hopeless?" Balki asks, "Hopeless? If I had listened to
everyone who told me it was hopeless, there would be no Balki Towers.
There would be no Balki Stadium. People wouldn't be sailing on Lake
Bartokomous." "Gosh, you've done well," Larry
comments. "And do you know why?" Balki asks. "Because
you invented a car that runs on sheep dung?" Larry guesses.
"That was part of it," Balki agrees, "But I couldn't have done it
without a good woman at my side. And how, you may ask did I win this
woman? Forty years ago I had the courage to tell her how I felt about
her." "Okay, so I didn't have the courage," Larry sighs,
"Is that why you came down here? To tell me I'm a coward?"
"No, actually I came down here to make sure you had your pants on,"
Balki answers. "Well, do I?" Larry asks. "Yes, and
now that you do, why don't you come up and see Jennifer?" Balki asks.
- In
the beginning of Act Two, after Balki says, "If we didn't get older, we'd
be dead," Larry says, "Good grief. I think I just lost the
hearing in my left ear." "Hang on, Cousin," Balki
says. Mary Anne comes out of the bedroom and says to Larry, "Oh,
you're here. And you remembered your pants." Larry looks
pleased that she's noticed.
-
After Mary Anne suggests they all sit down, Jennifer asks, "Can you make it
to the couch, Larry?" "I'm fine. I'm fine," Larry
insists.
-
Later, after Mary Anne and Balki leave, Larry is trying to sit down on the couch
but can't make it. He asks Jennifer, "Do you mind?" She
hits him behind the knees and he sits. "Thanks," Larry
says. "Don't mention it," Jennifer replies.
-
After Larry begs Jennifer not to go, she says, "There was a time for us,
Larry, but it's over. Things change. People change. Feelings
change. We're just not the way we were." The theme song from
"The Way We Were" plays in the background as Jennifer brushes a wisp
of Larry's hair and it comes off in her hand. This is when she says,
"If only you had said something forty years ago."
-
As Jennifer heads for the door and Larry grabs her leg, he cries, "Don't
go! This is like a bad dream!" "Larry, this is a
bad dream," Jennifer says. Then Larry cries, "Don't leave
me. Don't leave me."
-
When Larry wakes up and is running around the house, he runs to the bookcase and
says, "Mypsoian wall hanging," instead of, "Hello,
you wonderful old Myposian artifacts!"
-
After Larry says he wants Jennifer to stay and she agrees she wants to stay,
Larry says, "But, I wouldn't want to hurt your career."
"Oh, you wouldn't," she assures him, "There will be other
promotions." "Of course there will be," Larry says,
"You're so good. You're the best. So you'll stay?"
-
When Larry comes back downstairs after seeing Jennifer and Balki guesses he fell
down the stairs, Balki also points out, "Did you know it's three
a.m.?"
- After
Larry says he feels like he broke his leg, Balki says, "I better get you to
the hospital." "What if it's not broken?" Larry asks,
"I'll look like a fool." Balki moves Larry towards the door and
says, "Don't worry, Cousin, if it's not broken, I'll break it for
you." Balki helps Larry out the door.
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