Nielsen Rating: 16.3 HH
PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE
EPISODE 27 - Hello, Elaine
First Air Date: April 1, 1987
Nielsen Rating: 16.3 HH
TV Guide Description: Larry's free-spirited sister drops by on her way to New York, where she hopes to fulfill her dream of becoming a musician -- which Larry thinks is a pipe dream.
Co-Producer: James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: William Bickley & Michael
Warren
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Guest Cast:
Sue Ball: Elaine Appleton
Tom "Tiny" Lister, Jr.: Leroy
Dimitri Appearances: Not seen in this episode.
Balki-isms:
"Have you tried sushi?" "No, not yet. I don’t even have a racquet!"
"New York! The Big Tomato!"
"Please don’t send me on another
guilt trip!"
"Her dream is to play with Phil’s
Harmonica."
"She could have gone right on to the
Big Pineapple."
Don’t be ridiculous: Said once.
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"That’s a good point, a very good
point!"
"Well, we gotta talk about
that!"
Balki’s "Huh?"
"Oh yi yi yi . . . youki biggi mooki,
Cousin Larry!"
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry eyes Balki deviously while coming up
with a plan involving his cousin
Balki shrugs off compliments
Balki lifts Larry off the ground and holds
him in an odd position
Songs: "The Flintstones Theme Song" - sung by Larry as he’s trying to block out what Balki is saying
Interesting facts:
- One of the most consistent things about
the early seasons of Perfect Strangers were the stories about Larry
Appleton’s family, specifically his brothers and sisters. In this episode
Balki points out Larry’s lack of hair in one family photo and Larry explains
that Elaine was practicing for a first grade production of Samson and Delilah
and would practice on Larry while he was sleeping. This ties in with a comment
Balki made in the earlier episode The Unnatural in which he assumed Larry’s
brother Billy was the one who "held him down and cut off all his
hair," only to have Larry correct him by saying that was done by his sister
Elaine.
- Elaine was the first member of Larry’s
family we would meet. She would not return again to the series, although she was
still mentioned on occasion (particularly in the fifth season episode Lie-Ability
in which Larry thinks about bilking an insurance company for a false medical
claim to help Elaine attend Juilliard Music School). Larry’s brother Billy
would make an appearance in the third season and Larry’s father would visit in
season five. Out of Larry’s eight siblings we only ever meet Billy and Elaine
and only briefly hear mention of two other brothers, Danny and Davy.
-
Sue Ball, who played Cousin Elaine in
this episode, currently works as a stand up comedian.
- Balki makes a joke that Larry never
wants a second cup of his coffee. This is in reference to the classic Folger’s
coffee commercials in which Mrs. Olsen, a Swedish woman, intervened whenever a
young wife wondered why her husband accepted a second cup of someone’s else’s
coffee when he never wanted a second cup of the coffee she brewed at home.
Mrs.
Olsen would explain that if she used Folger’s Coffee her husband would ask for
a second cup.
- The little joke between Balki and Leroy
when Balki says "Get down!" and Leroy ducks was likely an in-joke for
the producers as well, who has previously worked on the series Mork and Mindy.
"Get down," was one of Mork’s favorite expressions and Robin
Williams used to duck down while saying it, followed by "get back up
again" when he would stand back up.
Synopsis:
The episode opens with Larry and Balki
sitting on the couch in their apartment looking over one of Larry’s old family
photo albums. Larry points out a photo of his sister Elaine when she was six
years old. Balki points to a photo and asks Larry if that is him, which Larry
confirms. "Why you don’t have any hair?" Balki asks. Larry explains
that Elaine was in a first grade production of Samson and Delilah and would
rehearse with Larry when he was asleep.
Balki then asks Larry why his arm is in a
cast. Larry tells the story of the big oak tree in his back yard in Madison,
Wisconsin, which all the Appleton kids climbed by the time they were twelve,
except Elaine who climbed it when she was eight. Larry had been left to babysit
Elaine and he was doing some extra credit work for algebra when he heard Elaine
calling for help and he 
found her stuck on the top of the tree.
"Of course
I had to help her down," Larry continues, " . . . of course I fell out
of the tree and broke my arm. Never did get the extra credit."
Balki then points to another photo and asks, "Who is this nice man with the moustache?" "Oh, that’s Mrs. Barr, our piano teacher," Larry answers. Larry explains that they all took piano lessons but that Elaine was the only one who stuck with it. "Now little Elaine is all grown up and about to start college," Larry sighs, "I am so proud of her." There is a knock on the door and they go to answer it.
Larry’s sister, Elaine, enters excitedly
and sets down her suitcase before hugging her brother, crying "Noogie!"
Elaine then spots Balki and deduces who he is. Balki says he is so happy to meet
his Cousin Elaine and she’s equally happy to meet him, having heard so much
about him. Elaine looks around and says, "Oh, Noogie! This is a great
place!" "Thanks," Larry smiles. "You’re the first member
of the family to see it!" "And what am I, mashed potatoes?" Balki
asks in a hurt tone. "Okay, the second . . . the first member of the
immediate family," Larry clarifies. "Well, I’m honored, Noogie,"
Elaine replies.
Balki asks Elaine why she calls Larry
Noogie. Elaine is eager to demonstrate, Larry definitely much less so.
She grabs
Larry around the neck and rubs the top of his head with her knuckles, giving him
a noogie. "That’s a noogie, Balki," Elaine explains. "You had
to ask," Larry sighs. Elaine takes off her coat and walks to the couch with
Balki, saying she wants to hear all about what he thinks of America. "Have
you 
tried sushi yet?" she asked.
"No, not yet. I don’t even have a
racquet!" Balki answers innocently. Elaine laughs and asks Larry, "Oh
that’s so cute. Is he always this adorable?" "Yeah, always,"
Larry answers.
Larry sits down on the couch with them and
says he’s happy Elaine had a chance to visit with them before she starts
school. "Well, that’s what I’d like to talk about," she begins.
Larry says he understand her nervousness, that the first year of college is
always the toughest and she has to remember that everyone will be in the same
boat. "No, Noogie . . . I’m not really that worried about college,"
she assures him. "Well that’s the spirit! Is she something or what?"
Larry asks. "Larry, before you pop open the champagne I think I ought to
tell you, um . . . I’ve decided to go to New York." Balki is excited,
crying out, "New York! The Big Tomato!" "The Big Apple,"
Larry corrects Balki, then says to Elaine, "You’re going to New York
before school?" "No, instead of school," Elaine answers.
Larry is stunned at this news. "You’re not going to college?" Elaine explains that she sent a tape of her last piano recital to a teacher in New York and that he invited her to come study with him so she figured college could wait. "College could wait?" Larry asks incredulously, "Elaine, plans have been made! This is going to throw off your whole life schedule!" "Noogie, I’m not like you, see, my life’s not on a schedule. Right now I just have to see if I can make it as a professional musician." Balki says they wish her all the best but Larry intervenes, saying "No, no we don’t! I know you’re a swell piano player but . . . New York? I mean, really . . . that’s the craziest idea you’ve ever had!"
Elaine is crushed.
"Wow, I really
thought you’d be on my side. You sound just like mom and dad."
"Well, if you mean mom and dad don’t think you should go to New York
well, yes, I happen to agree with them," Larry says. "But I don’t,
see, and it’s my life," Elaine comments. "Well, that’s a good
point, a very good point," Balki agrees. Elaine says that it’s been a
really long drive and she would like to wash up so she stands to go to the
bathroom. Balki stands with her saying, "Cousin, our bathroom . . . it’s
on the left . . . it’s very modern. It’s indoors." Elaine giggles and
goes into the bathroom as Balki sits back down on the couch with Larry.
"Ooh, I really blew that," Larry
sighs. "She won’t listen to me now. She’d rather take advice from a
total stranger." Larry’s eyes open wide and he eyes Balki deviously.
Balki doesn’t notice at first but then catches the look on Larry’s face.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Balki asks. Larry tells Balki
that he has to help him save Elaine by taking her out to dinner and convincing
her not to go to New York. Balki is uncertain but Larry insists Balki is the
family’s last hope, that they’re depending on him and he can’t let them
down. "Is this what they call a guilt trip?" Balki asks painfully.
"Yes it is," Larry confirms. "Well, you’re good at it!"
Balki comments. "Oh yes, I am!" Larry agrees.
In the next scene Balki and Elaine are
returning home from their dinner out. Balki announces their home and then turns
to Elaine, telling her that she should wait while he goes to get Cousin Larry.
Elaine grabs Balki to stop him, saying she changed her mind and can’t do it.
Balki assures Elaine she has to talk to Larry. "You have to tell him your
dream of becoming a musician just like you told me. Now you convinced me that
you should go to New York and you can convince him." Elaine hems and haws,
saying she tried to convince Larry that afternoon and he wouldn’t listen.
She
suddenly turns it onto Balki, saying, "Balki, you do it!" She starts
to beg him until Balki cries, "Please, don’t send me on another guilt
trip!"
Larry comes out of the bathroom and
approaches them. "Ah well, we’re back! Did we have a good time?"
"Well, you weren’t there, but we had a good time," Balki answers.
Larry comments that they must have had a lot of time to talk and Elaine agrees
they did. "I really needed to hear what
you had to say," she tells
Balki, "You really made a lot of sense. Great guy." "Well, what
did you talk about?" Larry asks. "Well, uh, Balki’s going tell you
that now because I am just so tired," Elaine says quickly, walking away,
"Good night, guys!" She goes into Larry’s room, leaving Balki to
handle Larry alone.
Larry is eyeing Balki happily, thinking
things have gone as planned. He asks if Balki if he made a lot of sense and
worked everything out and got her to go to college. "Well, we gotta talk
about that," Balki smiles. "What did you say to her?" Larry asks
excitedly. Balki says he started off by letting her tell him all her reasons for
going to New York. "Good! Very good! You just let her talk!" Larry
says. "Just let her talk," Balki echoes. Larry says Balki is a genius
and Balki shrugs off the compliment. "What did you say to her? It must have
been brilliant!" Larry continues excitedly. "Well, I know she
thought so!" Balki agrees.
Balki plays for time by trying to remember what he said but finally cannot put off the inevitable any longer. "I think I said ‘You know, you seem like you know what you’re doing and you should follow you dream and go to New York.’" Balki waits for Larry’s reaction but Larry is only confused. "Then what?" Larry asks hopefully. "And then I said . . . ‘Check please!’" Balki answers and runs into the bathroom for cover. Larry chases Balki to the bathroom and pounds on the door, then pounds on the door of his bedroom calling for Elaine. Giving up, Larry walks into the living room angrily, commenting, "This is my fault. You want to put out a fire, you don’t send a pyromaniac."
Act two begins in the morning as Balki and
Larry are sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast. Elaine is standing next
to Larry holding a pot of coffee and asking Larry if he wants more. Larry, who
is reading the paper, holds up his cup without looking at Elaine, who pours
anyway. "Funny, he never asks for a second cup of my coffee," Balki
pouts jokingly. Balki tries to see if this joke ellicits a smile from Larry but
only gets a scowl. "I think he’s still pouting," Balki says to
Elaine. "Yeah, he’s one of the best," Elaine comments. "Come
on, Noogie, you’re acting childish."
Larry folds and set down his paper,
saying, "Childish? I’m acting childish? Nooo. I think if I were to run
off to the Yukon to pan for gold, that would be childish. Or if I were to
sail off to the Caribbean in search of sunken treasure, that would be
childish. 
Ooh!
Or if I were to drop all my responsibilities and run off to say,
oh . . . New York to become a musician, that would be childish!"
Ruining Larry’s point entirely, Balki chimes in with "Ooh! Or, if you
were to go to the opera dressed in nothing but Spiderman underwear, now that would
be childish!" Balki smiles but Larry glowers at this comment. "Now you
do one," Balki encourages, wanting to carry on the game.
Elaine says she is going for a walk and
points out to Balki that Larry doesn’t understand. After she leaves, Larry
goes back to reading his paper. Balki slowly inches his chair closer to Larry’s,
finally just hopping the last little distance. "You’re upset, huh?"
Balki asks. "Me, upset?" Larry laughs in a fake manner, "Don’t
be silly! Why should I be upset, just because my best friend stabbed me in the
back? Just because he undermined everything I was trying to do to protect a
child from Hell Town!" Balki explains that Elaine wants to go to New York
to study with a famous piano teacher. "She wants to be a concert pianist.
Her dream is to play with Phil’s
Harmonica."
Larry says he can’t talk about it any more and that their conversation is over. He gets up from the table and walks away. Balki chases him, saying that he and Elaine must talk. Larry says he doesn’t and they argue, Balki trying to get Larry to listen to him although Larry doesn’t want to. Finally Larry puts his hands over his ears and sings the theme song from The Flintstones to block out Balki’s talking. Balki tries to lower Larry’s arms and tickle him to get him to stop but Larry continues. Balki finally motions a time out and Larry stops. Balki says Larry can have it his way and turns to walk away.
When Larry has turned from Balki, Balki
grabs his cousin around the middle holds him firmly. Balki explains that Elaine
has very good reasons for wanting to go to New York. Larry insists that just
because Balki is talking he doesn’t have to be listening. Balki says that if
Larry is not going to talk to her that at least he’s not going to ruin her
last night with them. Larry tells Balki to let him go but Balki instead picks
Larry up off the ground. Balki says he wants Larry to take her to dinner that
night. Larry refuses and so Balki turns him sideways, still holding him off the
ground. Balki repeats his request and Larry agrees to eight o’clock.
Balki
says he wants Larry to be nice to his sister. Larry hesitates until Balki
squeezes him tighter and then he agrees. Balki sets him down and starts to
smooth out Larry’s bangs, saying they’re going to have fun. "I didn’t
agree to have fun," Larry sneers. Balki starts to pick Larry up again until
he agrees to have fun.
That evening they enter a
smoky jazz club
called Leroy’s. A band is playing jazz on stage. Balki is wearing a very hip
tunic top and a beret. Elaine thanks Larry for taking them out to dinner and
Larry comments that this isn’t exactly what he had in mind. A very large, tall
bald man approaches them and Larry nervously says, "Balki, there’s a
large, scary man coming our way." The man stops in front of Balki and
greets him enthusiastically, Balki calling him "Leroy, my man!" They
exchange an urban handshake and Balki tells Leroy to "Get down!"
Leroy
ducks down, presumably because Balki probably did that to him the first time
Leroy told him to get down.
Leroy then greets Elaine personally and
they hug. "Listen, I want you to meet my brother, Larry!" "Noogie!"
Leroy exclaims, "How you doin’?" Larry extends his hand to shake but
Leroy slaps it instead and motions to have Larry return the gesture, then gives
up when it’s obvious Larry is clueless about how to do this. Leroy says he has
the best table in the house for them and leads them to a table where one man is
sitting. Leroy picks up the chair and the man together and drops him down at
another table. Leroy offers to buy their first round and leaves them.
Larry deduces that Balki and Elaine came
to the club the night before. "You’d think they’d have a no smoking
section," Larry comments. "Chill out, bro, this place is baaaad!"
Balki says smoothly. Elaine says it was her idea, that she’d read about the
place in Rolling Stone and that they have great jazz. "Oh, great!"
Larry says facetiously, "Well, who needs to go to New York? You can throw
your life away right here!" 
Balki reminds Larry that they came there so he
could be nice to his sister. Larry apologizes, saying he’s trying to be nice
but nasty things keep coming out of his mouth.
"I just don’t want you to go to New
York and mess up your life," Larry explains. "Oh, I get it,"
Elaine understands, "You don’t think that I can make it as a classical
pianist, do you?" "Elaine, face reality. You may be the best little
piano player in Madison but in New York they’ll chew you up and spit you
out," Larry warns. "But Cousin, if she can make it there, she’ll
make it anywhere!" Balki insists, turning to Elaine, "It’s up to you!"
Larry stops Balki before he can quote any more from the song New York, New
York. "How can you know I can’t make it if you haven’t even heard me
play?" Elaine asks. "Well, I’ve heard you play," Larry says.
"You know, the last time you heard me play it was Mrs. Barr’s class
recital when I was in the eighth grade." "Well, it can’t have 
been
that long ago," Larry muses. "It was," Elaine assures him.
The band finishes their set and Balki suggests that Elaine go up on stage to play the piano so they won’t have to argue whether Larry has heard her play or not. Elaine and Balki jump up but Larry tries to stop her. Leroy turns around and slaps Larry on the shoulder, saying firmly, "Hey, man . . . the lady wants to play, let her play!" "Yes, by all means," Larry agrees timidly, "I think that would be delightful." Larry and Balki sit on barstools as Elaine launches into a piano piece which impresses everyone in the room, including Larry.
When they get back to the apartment Larry
is still talking about how Elaine had the audience in the palm of her hand.
"It was so nice of Leroy to offer you a job playing piano!" Balki
adds, "If Phil’s Harmonica is anything like Leroy’s you’ve got it
made!" Elaine asks Larry if he thinks she should go to New York.
"Well, what I think isn’t important. You’re going to go so you’ll go.
Good luck." Elaine thanks Larry although it is obvious this isn’t the
response she wanted. She says she has to get an early start in the morning and
will turn in. "Yeah, you don’t want to get sleepy on the road,"
Larry agrees. Elaine bids them goodnight and goes into Larry’s room.
Balki approaches Larry in disbelief.
"That’s all you’re going to say to your sister? Good luck? Don’t get
sleepy on the road? Can you afford it?" "She doesn’t care what I
think," Larry shrugs. Balki launches into a tirade of Myposian, starting
with "Oh yi yi yi . . . youki biggi mooki, Cousin Larry!" "Now
what is that supposed to mean?" Larry asks. "Why do you think Elaine
come to visit us?" Balki asks. "She didn’t have to do that.
She
could have gone right on to the Big Pineapple. Why you think she come here?
Because you are the most important person in her life. She need you to believe
in her."
"I believe in her," Larry insists, "It’s just I worry about her. Suppose she goes off chasing this dream of hers and it doesn’t come true? She’ll be shattered." "But you are chasing your dream to be a photographer and I am chasing my dream to be an America, what the difference is?" "The difference is she’s my baby sister," Larry explains. "But you have to let people chase their dreams!" Balki emphasizes, "Isn’t it better to try and fail than not even to try at all?" Larry agrees that Balki is right. "She’s not a little girl any more. Boy, you leave home for a while and they grow up on ya." "You do believe in her?" Balki asks. "Yes," Larry answers. "You do love her?" "Yes." "Why you don’t tell her?" Balki wonders.
Larry points out that Elaine has already
gone to bed and has a long trip ahead of her but Balki gets up and goes to Larry’s
bedroom door,
knocking and calling for Elaine to come out because Larry has
something to tell her. Larry asks Balki why he did that and Balki says it’s
because Larry is afraid to. Elaine comes out of the room and Larry says he hopes
they didn’t wake her but she explains she was packing. Larry hesitates, then
says if she needs any help to let him know.
"I’ll tell you who needs some
help," Balki interjects. He looks at Larry. "You do."
He then
looks at Elaine. "And you do." He walks over to Larry and says,
"You have something you want to say to her, and you ask me to do it."
He then walks over to Elaine. "You have something you want to say to him,
and you ask me to do it." He addresses both of them. "Shame on
you! If
you have something here (indicating his heart) and you stingy with it with each
other, who are you saving it for?" He 
lets these words sink in, then
motions, "Now you stand right there until you say what you feel."
He
walks into the bedroom to leave them alone.
Larry begins shakily, saying, "So you’re
packing, huh?" Elaine, looking equally uncomfortable, says "Yeah . . .
packing." "Be sure to put the big stuff on the bottom," Larry
advises. Elaine laughs, saying she did. Larry then says, "You remember that
oak tree thing?" Elaine says yes. "Well, if I had known that I was
gonna break my arm before I climbed up to get you . . . I would have done it
anyway." "Really?" Elaine asks, touched, "Well, um . . . you
know the only reason that I climbed that tree was so you’d see what a good
climber I was. That’s why I always did all that silly stuff, I just wanted you
to notice me." "Well, I noticed you," Larry smiles, "In fact
I kind of admired you for having the guts to take chances. Boy, you would do
anything. You know, I always 
wanted to climb that oak tree but I never got up
the nerve until you got stuck up there." Elaine’s smile drops in
surprise. "That was the first time you ever climbed the tree?" she
asks. "Yeah, but don’t tell the other kids, okay?" Larry asks,
"Especially Billy, because you know he makes a big deal out of
everything." Elaine promises she won’t tell.
Larry assures Elaine she is going to do just fine in New York and apologizes for giving her such a rough time. "It’s just that I worry about you because you were always my favorite." "I was?" Elaine asks hopefully. "You still are," Larry confirms. "I love you, Noogie," Elaine smiles. She hugs him and Larry says he loves her, too. Balki comes running out of the bathroom in tears, rushing up to hug both Elaine and Larry and crying "I love both of you!"
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