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Perfect
Strangers Episode Guide
EPISODE
150 - Up, Up and Away, Part Two
First Air Date: August
6, 1993
Filming Date: August 26, 1992
Nielsen Rating: 11.0 HH
Produced by:
Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Paula A. Roth
Directed by: Judy Askins
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Bartokomous
Guest Cast:
Mitch Carter: Captain Fred
Newell Alexander: Ken Wiley
Dimitri Appearances:
Dimitri’s photo can be see on the fireplace mantel.
Balki-isms:
"My arches have fallen and I can’t get up."
Don’t be
ridiculous: Said twice in this episode.
Other catchphrases
used in this episode:
"Oh my Lord!"
Balki makes a statement which goes, "Well, something something and call me
something," in this case, "Well, toss my greens and call me
Caesar."
"Where do I come up with them?"
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt
Balki laughs at his own joke
Jennifer throttles Larry
The Dance of Joy
Mary Anne says something profound, then offers a bizarre reason for knowing it
Notable Moments:
Jennifer gives birth to hers and Larry’s son, Tucker Appleton.
Songs:
"Unforgettable" - sung by Nat King Cole during the montage sequence
"Itsy Bitsy Scorpion" - sung by Balki to babies Robespierre and Tucker
Interesting facts:
- Even though part one of this two part episode aired right before, there
was still an opening recap of the last episode shown to bring viewers up to
speed on the plot.
- Mitch Carter, who played the Eye in the Sky news
reporter Captain Fred, has made numerous appearances in television shows such as
Alias Smith and Jones, Adam-12, Emergency, Marcus Welby, M.D., The Waltons,
The Fall Guy, The Dukes of Hazzard, TJ Hooker, L.A. Law, Home Improvement,
Chicago Hope, Big Love and Criminal Minds. He has also had a
recurring role in the series Sordid Lives.
- Newell Alexander, who played the voice of
newscaster Ken Wiley in this episode, had previously played the character Billy
Joe Bob in the sixth season episode A Catered Affair.
- This was the series’ last episode ever and it
also happened to be the 150th episode of the series.
- The filming’s final curtain call was filmed and
shown under the end credits of the episode. When Mark addresses the
audience it is right after he and Bronson have performed the Dance of Joy.
This was also filmed by Entertainment Tonight and shown on September 2,
1992. You can view that report on our YouTube
Channel.
- The montage segment was shown to the studio
audience on the monitors above the seats. The version shown was the same
as that which appeared as part of the final gag reel and not the one which
ultimately aired on television.
- Just before the final Dance of Joy was performed
at the final curtain call, a poem written just moments before (after the montage
was shown) by Linda Kay, the founder of P.S. I Love You!, was read aloud to the
cast, crew and audience. This is the poem that was written for them and
was meant to represent the sentiments of all the fans who couldn’t attend the
final filming:
Could it have been just six years ago
We turned on our TVs to find
Two cousins, one tense, just a little bit crazed
The other warmhearted and kind.
We had no idea when we first met these guys
That they’d be part of our families;
We’ve laughed with them, cried with them
And watched with great joy as their dreams became realities.
With Mary Anne, Jennifer, Gorpley and Lydia
Wainwright and Dimitri to tickle us;
Did we come to rely on the laughs that they gave?
Well, of course we did, don’t be ridiculous.
You’ve all make your mark on our lives with your work
As few shows indelibly do;
And you’ll live on forever in all of our hearts
P.S., we will always love you.
- While this final episode was filmed on August 26,
1992, it would be almost an entire year before it was actually aired on ABC on
August 6, 1993.
Bloopers and
Inconsistencies:
- Before the opening credits there is a montage of clips from part one of
Up, Up and Away which includes an alternative scene! When Balki faints
in the previous episode, Larry stands and watches him keel over. But in
the one shown before this episode Larry turns and runs away before Balki faints!
- A few odd outtakes are actually shown during the
montage sequence. These include a scene from Missing which shows
Balki holding Larry by the head and swinging him around as if to make him sign
his name with his nose the way Larry had done to Balki during that
episode. Then there is a tiny segment from the "all in the legs"
segment from the episode Piano Movers in which Larry and Balki are adding
a little flair to the move. Finally there is a shot from the missing scene
of Lethal Weapon in which Balki, dressed n his Oven Mitt Man outfit,
points over his shoulder to Larry while they are at the Chicago Chronicle.
Synopsis:
The episode begins with an establishing shot of the hot air balloon high above
the ground. Jennifer, Larry and Balki are in the basket looking
down. "Larry, we’re going up too fast," Jennifer says
worriedly, "I’m feeling strange." "No, it’s okay!
It’s okay, Jennifer!" Larry insists, "Everything is gonna be
okay." Larry turns to Balki and says, "Well, I hope you’re
happy! We have no way of getting back down to the ground, thanks to
you!" "Cousin, this is no time to place blame," Balki says
calmly, "Sure, we’re no longer tethered to Mother Earth but we’re . . .
we’re communing with Father Sky and all his airy children . . . the wind, the
clouds . . . that plane! Duck!" Balki and Larry both duck down
into the basket. After a moment they pop back up and Balki says,
"Just kidding. But see what fun you can have up here?"
Balki starts swinging the basket and
shouting like a kid. Larry reaches over and grabs Balki by the shirt.
"Balki, don’t do that to me again!" Larry warns. "Come
on, Cousin! Come on!" Balki urges, "Loosen up! Loosen
up! Have fun with it! Have fun with it!" Balki massages
Larry’s shoulders and then grabs Larry’s head and swings it around, trying
to get Larry to loosen up. "Feel the wind whooshing up your pants leg
and out your arm!" Balki exclaims, grabbing Larry’s arm and going,
"Whoosh! Whee! Whoosh! Whee! Whoosh! Whee!"
"All right, stop it! Stop!" Larry cries. "May I
interrupt this stimulating discussion to say something?" Jennifer
asks. "Yes. Sure," Larry says, "Tell Balki he’s an
idiot." "I’m in labor," Jennifer announces.
"You see? She agrees with me!" Larry tells Balki, "You’re
in labor!" Larry suddenly realizes what Jennifer has said and turns
to her in shock, asking, "What?" "I’m in labor,"
Jennifer repeats.
"Oh . . . oh . . . oh my Lord!"
Larry exclaims, "Are . . . are you saying that you’re in
labor?" "I’m saying I’m having a contraction," Jennifer
confirms as she takes Larry’s hand, "NOW!" Jennifer squeezes
Larry’s hand tightly. "Oh! Ow!" Larry cries, "Okay,
you’re hurting me! You’re hurting me! Ow! Ow, ow, ow!"
Balki walks around to Jennifer and says, "Well, toss my greens and call me
Caesar. Jennifer . . . Jennifer, our theory was correct! Going up in
the balloon is what made Mary Anne go into labor. I mean, do you
realize what this means? Expectant mothers everywhere will thank us!
We’ve given a great gift to humanity!" "Yeah, yeah . . .
humanity," Larry repeats callously, "Right . . . okay, listen . . .
Jennifer, do . . . do you think that . . . ?" Larry tries to get
around to the other side of Jennifer and trips over Balki, who is trying to move
away. "Watch it!" Larry warns Balki angrily.
"Do you . . . do you think this could
be another false alarm?" Larry asks. "No, this is no false
alarm, Larry," Jennifer insists, "Uh . . . I think my contractions are
about, uh . . . eight minutes apart?" "Well, all right, then we
still have plenty of time," Larry assures her, "We’ll be down on the
ground before you have your next contraction." Jennifer smiles, then
suddenly she starts squeezing Larry’s hand painfully again as she moans,
"Oh god! Another one’s starting!" "All right, okay,
all right," Larry says, "I was wrong about that but, Jen . . . Jen,
shouldn’t you be doing your Lamaze breathing in . . . instead of trying to
hurt me?" "Larry, I never planned on doing the breathing,"
Jennifer confesses, "I planned on having painkillers. Lots of
them! The only reason I was in that stupid class was because it was the
only place I could be where I wasn’t the fattest woman in the room!
Larry, I don’t want to have this baby in a balloon!"
"Jennifer, Jennifer, you’re not
going to have this baby in a balloon," Balki assures her. "I won’t?"
Jennifer asks hopefully. "Well, of course not! Don’t be
ridiculous!" Balki says, "You’re going to have this baby in a flimsy
wicker basket suspended from a balloon. One with lots of patches in it, I
might add." "Okay, don’t help," Larry urges.
"Look at that one!" Balki points up. "Don’t help!
Do not help! Do not help!" Larry insists. "I’m just
trying to . . . " "Thank you! Thank you!" Larry
continues, "Thank you very much. Okay, Jen? Jen? We’re
just gonna relax and . . . and . . . why . . . why don’t we, uh, try to think
of some funny stories?" "Oh!" Balki exclaims,
"Oh! I got one! I got one! Okay . . . a pig, a butcher
and a rabbi are getting off a bus . . . " "Okay, don’t
help," Larry interrupts, "Don’t help! Don’t help! Do
not help! Do not help!" "I want to tell the story!"
Balki cries, jumping up and down. "All right! All right, stop
it!" Larry shouts.
After a moment both Larry and Balki calm
down. "You still want to hear it?" Balki asks, then continues,
"Okay. Um . . . oh, did I mention that the pig could talk? I
can’t do the piggy little accent but anyway he’s all trussed up in this . .
. " Larry runs to Balki and pulls his aside, grabbing his shirt
again. "If you don’t shut up I’m gonna throw you to your
death," Larry threatens, "Balki! My wife is having a
baby!" "Well, you’ve known that for months," Balki points
out, smiling. "No, I mean she is having a baby now in . . . in this
balloon!" Larry explains, "And I haven’t the foggiest idea what to
do!" "Oh, is that what all this mishi gastiki is about?"
Balki asks, "Cousin, chill out! I know something about birthin’
babies." "You do, Balki?" Jennifer asks. "Why
sure!" Balki insists, "I’ve delivered my share of babies and
livestock. If you were gonna deliver a sheep I could do that
blindfolded. As a matter of fact, that’s how we do it back home.
You really don’t wanna look. Oh my goodness, there’s . . . there’s
all . . . you have to have a thing . . . a bib that comes from here down to your
toes . . . "
"Okay, that’s it! That’s
it!" Larry insists, pulling Balki away from Jennifer, "You’re going
over the side!" Larry pushes Balki to the edge of the balloon and
pushes him so that he’s leaning over the edge. "Cousin!
Oh! Oh! Oh!" Balki cries. "Larry, something’s
wrong!" Jennifer cries, "We’re going up again!"
"Found the problem!" Balki calls, and Larry pulls him back up.
"I know why we’re going up again," Balki says, "Eh . . . uh . .
. the . . . the sandbag has a leak." Larry looks over the edge to see
that one of the sandbags is leaking sand quickly. "Larry, we’re
going up too high," Jennifer says worriedly, "We’re gonna run out of
oxygen!" "Oh, no we won’t!" Balki insists. "We
won’t?" Jennifer asks hopefully. "No!" Balki assures her,
"Long before we run out of oxygen the atmosphere will replace the helium in
the balloon and the balloon will explode and the . . . the rest will just upset
you."
"All right! All right!
Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!" Larry cries, "All right, now .
. . two things have gotta happen here! Number one, Balki has got to
shut up! And number two, someone’s gotta go over the side and repair the
sandbag! Okay, let’s see . . . Jennifer, you’re in labor. I’m
your coach. Balki, that leaves you. Good luck, buddy."
"Cousin, I think I can help with part one of your plan," Balki
replies, "I can shut up. I think. But, uh . . . uh, going over
the side of the basket . . . it . . . let’s see . . . uh, nope.
Nope. Not gonna happen." "Can somebody please go?"
Jennifer begs, gripping the support in pain. "Okay, okay, I’ll . .
. I’ll go," Balki agrees, adding to Larry, "But not because you
asked me! For Jennifer! I’m gonna do it for Jennifer! And .
. . and for Howard the balloon man because . . . because, uh . . . well, without
his balloon Howard the balloon man is just . . . Howard the man."
Balki begins to climb over the side of the basket.
A short time later we see the balloon as
it continues to rise higher. Jennifer is now sitting down inside the
basket and Larry is squatting down beside her, leading her through her Lamaze
breathing. "Okay, okay, keep breathing," Larry encourages,
"Keep breathing. Good. Good. All right . . . all right,
and your contraction should be ending soon. Yes? Okay, cleansing
breath." Larry and Jennifer each breath in deeply together and
release it together. "Okay, all right," Larry smiles, "You’re
doing beautifully, Jen. You’re doing beautifully." Larry then
calls out, "Balki, how you doing?" Balki is hanging off the side
of the balloon by the leaking sandbag. His legs are through the ropes at
the bottom and he’s used a handkerchief to stop up the hole in the
sandbag. "Uh, good, Cousin," Balki calls back, "I’ve got
a nice strong grip on the sandbag and I’ve stopped the flow of sand with my
handkerchief. But when I pulled my handkerchief out of my pocket all the
change in my pocket fell out but . . . there’s not a whole lot to spend it on
up here.
Balki laughs at his own joke then asks,
"Where do I come up with them?" as he loses his grip on the sandbag
and falls backwards, now dangling from the ropes by his legs. "I’m
fine! I’m fine!" Balki calls, "Don’t worry about
me!" "I’m not!" Larry calls back, then tells Jennifer,
"Okay, Jen, just . . . just try to relax until your next
contraction." "It’s amazing, Larry," Jennifer says,
"This . . . this breathing stuff is really helping." "And I’m
gonna be with you every breath of the way," Larry assures her. We see
Balki is now hanging by his feet from the ropes on the bottom of the
basket. "Cousin?" Balki calls, "Cousin?" "Balki,
I can’t talk to you right now!" Larry calls. "Well, it’s now
or never," Balki answers, "We’re about to drop a hundred and
seventy-one and a half pounds of counterweight." "Are we losing
another sandbag?" Larry asks. "No, but we’re losing a Balki,"
Balki sobs, "My arches have fallen and I can’t get up. Where do I
come up with them?"
Larry gets up to look over the side of the
basket and sees Balki dangling precariously by his feet. He kneels back
down next to Jennifer and sighs, "Oh . . . oh . . . oh . . . oh, he’s
right . . . we’re losing him. Uh, okay . . . uh, Balki, I’m
coming." Larry starts to get up but Jennifer grabs him and pulls him
back down. "No! No! No, Larry! Don’t leave me! I’m
afraid! I don’t want to have this baby alone!"
"Breathe! Breathe!" Larry gasps as Jennifer holds his collar
tightly. "Oh, Larry, that breathing stuff is just a bunch of . . .
" "Not you! Not you!" Larry gasps, "I can’t
breathe!" Jennifer releases Larry’s collar. "All right,
Jennifer . . . sweetheart . . . I . . . I know that this is . . . this is just a
really bad time but Balki is about to plunge hundreds of feet to his
death," Larry explains, "And I . . . I just thought that I ought to go
and . . . and help him. Now, I’ll . . . I’ll be back before your next
contraction." "Cousin! Cousin!" Balki cries, "I
don’t mean to rush you but I’m hanging on by my toes!" Jennifer
nods and says, "Go get him." "All right, all right,"
Larry says as he gets up and walks to the side of the basket with Jennifer still
hanging onto his arm.
"All right, all right, sweetheart,
you have to let go now," Larry urges her gently, "You’re gonna have
to let go." Jennifer shakes her head in
fear. "Yes, you
are," Larry says, reaching down to pull her left hand from his arm,
"Just, here . . . grab the blanket. Grab the blanket. Okay, I’m
gonna help you here. I’m gonna help you. Here we go. There
we go." Larry pulls Jennifer’s right hand from his arm finger by
finger and lets her clutch onto the blanket that’s covering her instead.
"I’ll be right back. I’ll be right back," Larry assures her,
and he looks over the edge of the blanket and calls, "All right, Balki?"
Larry leans over the side of the basket. "Balki, here, just . . .
just grab my hand and I’ll . . . and I’ll pull you up. Yeah, just . .
. whoa!" Larry’s legs suddenly fall over the side of the basket,
much to Jennifer’s horror. "Larry! Larry!" Jennifer
cries. "We’re fine! We’re fine!" Larry and Balki both
call back. We can see Balki is still dangling from the balloon by his feet
and he is now holding Larry by the hair with one hand. "Nice
catch!" Larry says. "I . . . I do try," Balki says, and the
scene fades to black.
Act two begins where act one left off,
with Balki holding Larry by the hair as they both dangle from the bottom of the
balloon. "You know, Cousin, all things considered, I think things are
going rather well," Balki offers. "Going rather well?"
Larry asks, mocking Balki’s accent, "Balki, I am hanging hundreds of feet
in the air by my hair, my wife is in labor and my . . . and my watch just fell
off." "Well, you know what they say, Cousin . . . ‘time flies
when you’re upside down!’" Balki laughs, then throws out his arms as he
says, "Where do I come up with them?" Balki lets go of Larry’s
hair but Larry manages to grab hold of Balki’s hair to keep from falling,
causing Balki to cry out in pain. "Larry, I need you!" Jennifer
calls from inside the basket. "Jen, I’d really like to be with you
right now but I . . . I think you’re gonna have to go on without me,"
Larry calls, "I . . . I . . . I just can’t get there."
"Cousin," Balki says. "Yeah?" Larry asks.
"I . . . I don’t want Jennifer to hear," Balki says, "Uh, I . .
. I didn’t have time to wash my hair and I’m afraid you might slip.
Here."
Balki reaches down so Larry can grab onto
his hands instead. "Cousin, look over there!" Balki suddenly
points, causing Larry to have to grab onto Balki’s left arm with both
hands. "Balki! Balki!" Larry cries, "Don’t let go
of me again!" "But . . . but I’m just trying to show you, I’m
just trying to point out, that I see a big backup on the interstate but there’s
. . . well, I can’t see any reason for it," Balki says, continuing to
point. He has grabbed Larry by the nose to hang on to him.
"Well, maybe the reason is the sight of two men hanging from a
balloon," Larry suggests, his voice sounding funny through his pinched
nose. "Where?" Balki asks, "Where?" Balki looks
around as the sound of a helicopter approaches. "Oh Cousin,
look! Look!" Balki points with his other hand, holding Larry by the
nose with his right hand instead, "It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s a
helicopter!" A helicopter hovers nearby.
Larry starts to pull himself up to the
basket, using Balki’s clothes to climb. "Larry, what’s going
on?" Jennifer calls from the basket. "Jen, there’s . . . there’s
a police helicopter. It’s on its way! We’re . . . we’re about
to be rescued!" Larry calls as he reaches the ropes below the basket then
reaches down to help Balki up. "Well, tell them to hurry!"
Jennifer calls. The helicopter hovers close by. "Oh, Larry, I’ve
changed my mind!" Jennifer calls out, "I don’t want to do
this!" Balki and Larry are now hanging onto the ropes along the
bottom of the basket by their hands. "That’s no police
helicopter," Balki notes, "That’s . . . that’s Captain Fred and
Channel 8's ‘Eye in the Sky!’ Hey! Hey! Captain
Fred! I watch you every night on . . . on television and I never thought I’d
live to be face to chopper with you!" "Hang on, folks!"
Captain Fred calls out over a loudspeaker, "Help is on the way! In
the meantime, smile! You’re on the evening news!" Balki and
Larry both smile.
Balki says, "This is so
exciting! Captain Fred? Captain? I’m Balki Bartokomous, and
this is my cousin, Cousin Larry Appleton, and in the basket we have Cousin Larry’s
lovely wife, Jennifer. Wave, Jennifer!" Jennifer’s hand waves
from inside the basket. "Jen, looks like things are working out for
the best!" Larry calls, "Remember we talked about videotaping the
birth? Well, uh, it’s . . . it’s being done by
professionals!" "Yeah, Jennifer, Captain Fred is the best!"
Balki confirms, "What the man does with perspective is amazing! The
man paints with videotape." "Jen, how you doin’?" Larry
calls. When there isn’t an immediate answer he calls again,
"Jen?" There is the sound of a baby crying. "I’m
fine, Larry!" Jennifer calls, "And so is our son!" "Balki,
I have a son!" Larry smiles. "Cousin, now we are so happy, we do
the Dance of Joy!" Balki exclaims. They perform the Dance of Joy with
their legs and end with Balki wrapping his legs around Larry's.
We see an establishing shot of the house
at night and the caption "Two Months Later." Balki and Larry are
sitting on the couch watching a videotape on the television. Balki is
yawning but Larry is watching with a smile as the narrator says, "And so
tonight, Chicago’s population grew by one tiny baby who made his entrance into
the world in a way his parents won’t soon forget. This is Ken Wiley
wishing you and yours a good evening." Larry turns off the videotape
with the remote and shakes his head. "I don’t know about you but I
never get tired of watching that tape, do you?" Larry asks.
"No," Balki assures him as he stifles his yawn, "No, love
it." "The miracle of my wife giving birth to my son hundreds of
feet in the air . . . I mean, I . . . I can’t get over it," Larry
sighs. "Yeah," Balki sighs, "My favorite part was when
Captain Fred let me go up into the helicopter and help him with the traffic
report." "Oh yeah," Larry sighs, unimpressed.
"It reminded me of the time that Uncle Stavros let me help him with the
traffic report on Mypos," Balki continues, "We packed a lunch and
climbed up into that gingko tree and waited for the mule to pass by. He
never came. Who knew the mule was dead?"
Mary Anne and Jennifer come down the
stairs, each one carrying a baby. "These little guys told us they
wanted to spend some time with their daddies while we cook dinner," Mary
Anne says as she and Jennifer set the babies into a crib sitting by the
couch. Balki and Larry look lovingly at their sons as they’re being
placed in the crib. "Well, they didn’t actually talk," Mary
Anne clarifies, "Rational thought process occurs in the sixth month.
Verbal skills follow in the ninth or tenth." Everyone looks impressed
with Mary Anne’s knowledge. "I heard that on Sesame Street,"
Mary Anne explains. "Well, why don’t we go start dinner?"
Jennifer suggests. "Well, Jen, are you sure you feel up to it?"
Larry asks, "I mean, shouldn’t you be resting?" "Larry, I’m
fine," Jennifer assures him, "And just looking at little Tucker makes
me realize he was worth everything I went through." Jennifer and Mary
Anne head for the kitchen. "Balki and I talked it over and we want to
have six or eight more kids," Mary Anne says, "How about you and
Larry?" "Well, Larry and I talked it over . . . we’re getting
a dog," Jennifer replies.
"Well, what d’ya say we spend some
quality time with our sons?" Larry suggests. "Yeah," Balki
agrees, and they get up from the couch and cross to the crib, looking down at
their two infant sons. "Hey, Cousin, this might be a good time to
teach little Robespierre the Itsy Bitsy Scorpion," Balki suggests.
"Itsy Bitsy Scorpion?" Larry asks, "What’s that?"
"What is that?" Balki asks with disbelief. "Yeah, what is
that," Larry repeats. "It’s a classic Myposian nursery rhyme
that teaches valuable life lessons," Balki explains. "Well,
then, why don’t ya teach it to little Tucker as well?" Larry
offers. "I would be proud to," Balki smiles, and he leans in
over the crib and sings, "Itsy bitsy scorpion crawled up inside my shirt; I
bashed his little head in and threw him in the dirt; when his legs stopped
wiggling I dropped him in my stew; ‘cause I like crunchy insects with pinchers
on, don’t you? Itsy bitsy stingray swam up inside my shorts . . .
" "Okay, okay, all right," Larry stops Balki, "I’ll
be in charge of nursery rhymes from now on."
Larry and Balki return to the couch and
sit down. "Well . . . boy . . . here we are a couple of
daddies," Larry states, "We’ve come a long way together,
huh?" Balki puts an arm around Larry’s shoulder and says,
"Cousin, when I came to America six years ago, I came looking for my
cousin. I never imagined I would find the best friend that anybody ever
had." The scene oil dissolves into a montage sequence of past
segments set to the song "Unforgettable" performed by Nat King Cole,
ending with the scene from the first episode when Balki first walks in Larry’s
door (a scene by scene breakdown of this segment can be found below). The
montage oil dissolves back to Balki and Larry sitting on the couch.
"You know, Balki, if I had it to do all over again, I wouldn’t change a
thing," Larry smiles. "Me, neither," Balki agrees.
Jennifer and Mary Anne walk out of the
kitchen and ask, "What have you two been up to?" "Oh, just
a little reminiscing," Larry answers. Jennifer and Mary Anne pick the
babies up from the crib and carry them over to the couch where they sit
down. "Who would have thought six years ago that we’d be holding
the next generation of Appletons and Bartokomouses?" Jennifer asks.
"Won’t it be wonderful to watch them grow up?" Mary Anne asks.
"Yes, it will," Larry smiles, "Balki, you think our families will
always be as close as we are right now?" "Well, of course we
will. Don’t be ridiculous," Balki answers, "Mary Anne and I aren’t
planning to move for years and years to come and . . . and if you two move, we’re
going with you!" Balki and Mary Anne sidle closer to Larry and
Jennifer and Balki puts his arm behind Larry as the episode ends.
The final curtain call was filmed and
shown under the end credits of the episode. It begins with Robert G. Lee
introducing, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the last time let’s welcome the
stars of Perfect Strangers! Rebeca Arthur!" A stage hand opens
the front door and Rebeca comes out, waving to the audience. "Melanie
Wilson!" Robert introduces, and Melanie comes through the door.
"Mark Linn-Baker!" Robert introduces, and Mark comes running
out. "And Bronson Pinchot!" Robert announces. Bronson
comes running out and joins the others in a line in front of the studio audience
bleachers. We see the bleachers and crew from the actors point of view as
the audience gives them a standing ovation. "Ladies and gentlemen, a
hand please for the cast and crew of Perfect Strangers!" Robert
announces. Mark is handed a microphone and tells the audience, "Thank
you all for being with us! Good night!" A tearful Melanie hugs
a tearful Bronson and Mark hugs Rebeca as the series ends.
Clips shown during the final montage:
Happy Birthday,
Baby - Balki and Larry perform the Dance of Joy
Good Skates - Balki skates circles around
Larry at his desk
Just a Gigolo - Balki dances with
"Desiree Appleton" at Lydia’s party
Citizenship, Part One - Balki hugs Larry
when he is leaving to go back to Mypos
Hunks Like Us - Balki and Larry dance in
front of the couch
The Karate Kids - performing The Impossible
Dream
Eyewitless Reports - Balki and Larry peeking
out from around the corner|
Little Apartment of
Horrors - Jennifer and Mary Anne entering the apartment with
moustaches and Larry and Balki’s reaction
Night School Confidential - Larry and Balki
looking at each others’ disguises
Up a Lazy River, Part One - Larry and Balki
stuck in the sleeping bag
The Elevator - Larry and Balki screaming as
the elevator rises quickly to the top
The ‘King’ and I - Balki and Larry check
out each other’s hairdos
Wild Turkey - Balki tries to help Larry get
the turkey off his foot
Citizenship, Part Two - Larry jumps into
Mama’s arms after performing the Dance of Joy
Bachelor Party - Larry and Balki both sniff
Balki after waking up with hangovers
Blind Alley - Balki grabs Larry’s bowling
ball as he’s about to bowl, causing Larry to flip over
I Saw This on T.V. - Larry as Ralph Kramden
throwing his back out moving the refrigerator
The Karate Kids - Balki stalking Larry as a
ninja for a sneak attack
The Men Who Knew Too Much, Part Two - Balki
and Larry driving under the truck
Up a Lazy River, Part One - Balki, Larry,
Jennifer and Mary Anne caught in the rapids in the raft
Out of Sync - Balki leaping into the Fly
Girls arms during the Fresh Young Balki B video
The Horn Blows at Midnight - Balki and Larry
being blown back by the wind of a sudden storm
Call Me Indestructible - Balki letting go of
the fire escape and he and Larry falling in a bungee jump
The Gazebo - Larry as Oliver Hardy strikes
Balki as Stan Laurel on the head with a hammer
Just a Gigolo - Balki pulls off
"Desiree Appleton’s" wig to reveal she is Larry
Tenspeed and Soft Touch - Balki picks up
Larry and flips him over
Family Feud - Balki swordfights with Zoltan
while Larry tries to get the bucket off Balki’s foot
This Old House - Balki and Larry spin as
they hang from the chandelier
Call Me Indestructible - Balki and Larry
throw their arms out as they stand on either side of the speeding motorcycle
The Break Up - Balki carries Larry to
Jennifer’s table on his shoulders
High Society - Larry and Balki singing and
dancing to "Get Happy"
Almost Live from Chicago - Balki gyrating
while Larry’s telling his Bunky McDermott story
Three’s a Crowd - Balki and Larry dancing
around each other
Your Cheatin’ Heart - Balki dances Larry
away from the bedroom door
The Baby Shower - Balki and Larry dancing
while high on the Midolcrampabloatolous root
Just Desserts - Larry dances with Balki
while they make bibbibabkas
Just Desserts - Balki, Larry, Jennifer and
Mary Anne dance in a conga line to the Bibbibabka Ditty
Pipe Dreams - Water spills down on Mary
Anne, Balki, Larry and Jennifer as they sit on the couch|
Climb Every
Billboard - Larry and Balki singing "I’ve Been Workin’ on
the Railroad"
Father Knows Best??? Part Two - Balki
dancing to Singing in the Rain and using Larry as his lamppost
Yes Sir, That’s My Baby - Baby Larry and
Baby Balki suck on their thumbs
Stress Test - Balki and Larry do the macho
bit after solving the map puzzle
I Saw This on T.V. - Balki as Ed Norton
takes a fall
Up a Lazy River, Part Two - Larry steps into
quicksand
Pipe Dreams - Larry fights the water in the
flooding bathroom as Balki sits on the toilet
Snow Way to Treat a Lady, Part One - Balki
opens the door of the cabin to reveal Larry pressed against the door by the
avalanche
Maid to Order - Larry dances with Jennifer
and Balki dances with Mary Anne
Missing - Balki uses Larry’s head to sign
his name with his nose (outtake)
Yes Sir, That’s My Baby - Baby Balki and
Baby Larry look up from under the overturned crib
The Gazebo - Larry as Oliver Hardy and Balki
as Stan Laurel nod to each other
Piano Movers - Larry and Balki doing the
"All in the legs" bit with a little flair (outtake)
Lethal Weapon - Balki in his Oven Mitt Man
outfit points to Larry at the Chronicle (outtake)
That Old Gang of Mine - Balki and Larry try
to get off the hooks they are hung upon
The Sunshine Boys - Balki and Larry drop
their pants
Snow Way to Treat a Lady, Part One - Balki
and Larry sway back and forth on their skis
See You In September - Covered with mud,
Balki hugs Jennifer and Larry
Citizenship, Part Two - Balki hugs Mary
Anne, Jennifer and Larry
Picture This - Larry playfully punches Balki’s
arm and Balki returns a friendly punch
Tooth or Consequences - Larry and Balki have
milk running from their mouths
Get Me to the Dump on Time - Mary Anne bends
Balki over backwards to kiss him at their wedding
The Wedding - Jennifer and Larry kiss
through the bars of the jail cell at their wedding
Knock, Knock . . . Who’s There? - Balki
arrives on Larry’s doorstep
Script Variations:
There are a number of differences between the shooting script dated
August 18, 1992 and the episode which aired:
- In
the opening scene Jennifer says, "I think I'm getting airsick,"
instead of "I'm feeling strange."
- After Larry says that thanks to
Balki they have no way of getting back down, Balki argues, "Thanks to
me? If it weren't for that pesky stubborn streak of yours, right now we'd
be on the ground knocking over milk bottles and eating cotton candy and corn
dogs." Jennifer groans. "You're always so sure your way is
the right way," Balki adds. "That's because my way is based on
logical reasoning, while your way is based on some crackpot Myposian
custom," Larry counters, "If it were up to you we would have flipped a
cheese wheel to determine which rope to pull." "We would
not," Balki complains, "Cheese wheels are only flipped to choose up
sides for olive pit spitting." This is when Jennifer interrupts this
"stimulating conversation" to tell them she's in labor.
- Instead of saying, "Well, toss
my greens and call me Caesar," Balki says, "Well, I'll be
snookered. It was the balloon ride that caused Mary Anne to go into
labor. Just between you and me and the compost, I thought it was the pink
popcorn. Isn't it great, Cousin? Now we know the secret."
"Yeah, yeah, great," Larry sighs, "It was the balloon.
Yippee." Larry then suggests that maybe this is another false
alarm. Jennifer assures Larry it's not false labor and guesses that her
contractions are about five minutes apart.
- After another contraction starts
right away, Balki comments, "Cousin, forgive me, but that was no five
minutes unless, of course, we just crossed a time zone. But this balloon
is a real find, isn't it? Expectant mothers everywhere will thank
us." "Balki, shut up about the balloon," Larry snarls, then
he tells Jennifer, "Honey, don't worry. We can handle it. After
all, we spent two weeks longer in Lamaze class than any other
couple." "That would be a lot more reassuring if you hadn't
spend most of each class in a dead faint," Jennifer points out.
"But the week I stayed conscious, I got the 'Best Coach' award," Larry
reminds her.
- After Balki points out the patches
on the balloon and Larry urges him not to help, Larry says to Jennifer,
"Honey, I know you think this is the real thing but that's what you thought
the last seven times. Just try to relax. Let's think of funny
stories." "I got one, I got one," Balki says, "A
butcher, a pig and a rabbi . . . " "Not you," Larry quickly
scolds. "Larry, this time it's for real," Jennifer assures him,
"I felt the first twinge in the parking lot." "Okay, well,
that probably would have been the time to mention something but you didn't and
that's okay. That's okay," Larry sighs. "Well, that sort
of takes the air out of our balloon theory but if you let me finish my funny
story, I think we'd all be in a better mood," Balki offers.
- After Balki assures Jennifer that
they're not going to run out of oxygen, Larry adds, "See? Listen to
the man. We're not going to run out of oxygen." Than Balki
explains how the atmosphere will cause the balloon to explode instead.
- After Balki tells Larry that his
going over the side of the balloon isn't going to happen, Larry says, "I
don't think you heard me. I'm the coach. You're nothing.
Coach. Nothing. Get over the side." "I don't think
you heard me," Balki counters, "I'm not going."
- After Balki climbs over the side of
the basket, Larry asks Jennifer, "How are you doing, honey?"
"That was a strong one, Larry," Jennifer says. "Don't
worry, we can do this ourselves," Larry assures her. "Cousin, I
have very good news!" Balki calls from outside the basket. "Did
you hear that?" Larry asks Jennifer, "We're going to be
rescued." He then calls to Balki, "What's your good
news?" "I can see the scoreboard at Wrigley Field," Balki
calls, "The Cubs are kicking butt!"
- As Larry helps coach Jennifer
through her Lamaze breathing, Jennifer says, "Larry, you're a wonderful
coach. I'd never be able to get through this without you."
"And you won't have to," Larry assures her, "I'm not going
anywhere. Well, except for this little unplanned cross-country trip.
But at least we're going together." "I'm having another
contraction," Jennifer says. "Alright. Remember to focus
and breathe," Larry encourages her.
- Instead of saying, "It's not or
never," Balki tells Larry, "You might find this of interest,"
then talks about dropping a hundred and seventy-five and a half pounds of
counterweight. After saying, "No, we're losing a Balki," Balki
adds, "My hands are numb, my legs are asleep and I've got an itch in the
middle of my back that's driving me crazy."
- After Larry assures Jennifer that
he'll be back before her next contraction we hear Balki off camera saying
through clenched teeth, "Don't mean to rush you, but I'm holding on with my
teeth!" When Larry climbs over the side of the basket to rescue Balki,
he says, "Balki, use my body as a ladder. Climb up my back into the
basket." "Okay, here I come!" Balki says. Balki grabs
Larry and in an attempt to climb up Larry's back, Balki pulls Larry down to the
bottom of the basket. Larry screams. We see both the guys hanging
from the basket. "I should have gone," Jennifer sighs from off
camera.
- At the beginning of act two, Balki
and Larry are hanging off the side of the basket. "How are you doing,
honey?" Larry calls to Jennifer. "How am I doing?" Jennifer
calls from inside the basket, "I'm delivering my own baby. How are
you doing?" "I'm hanging outside a basket hundreds of feet above
the ground," Larry calls, "How do you think I'm doing?"
"It wasn't my idea for you to go out there," Jennifer reminds
him. "Well, it was your idea to take a stupid balloon ride in the
first place," Larry points out, then he mocks her, saying, "'I've just
got to get this baby out now.'" "Kids, kids, this is no time for
petty bickering," Balki scolds, "This is a very special moment in your
lives. If we live through this, you can bicker later."
"I'm sorry, Jen," Larry calls. "I'm sorry, too,"
Jennifer calls back. "That's better," Balki smiles, then he says
that under the circumstances he thinks things are going well. Larry points
out that he's suspended hundreds of feet in the air and his wife is in labor,
then asks, "What would it take for you to think things weren't 'going
rather well?'" "Larry, I think it's time to push," Jennifer
calls. "That would do it," Balki says. "Jen, honey, I
think you're going to have to go on without me," Larry explains, "I'd
really like to be with you right now, but I just can't do it." After
a moment, Larry adds, "This probably hasn't crossed your mind, but our
child is going t have one heck of a story to tell. What do you think about
that?" Larry laughs. Jennifer's hand reaches through a hole in
the side of the basket and she grabs Larry's hair. "You're
right. This story should never be told," Larry quickly agrees.
- After
Larry speculates that the backup on the interstate is caused by the sight of two
men hanging from a balloon, Balki says, "I don't think that's it. I
think they're looking at that helicopter."
- When Balki is calling to Captain
Fred, Larry says, "You idiot, he can't hear you." After Captain
Fred tells them to smile, that they're on the evening news, Balki says to Larry,
"Oh, he can't hear us, huh?"
- After Balki introduces everyone to
Captain Fred, Jennifer sighs, "I thought having a baby in a basket was as
bad as it could get. I was wrong."
- In this version of the script, Balki
and Larry don't perform the Dance of Joy under the balloon.
- After Larry says he can't get over
the birth of his son being born in the balloon, Balki says, "I can't get
over Captain Fred being up there with us for an hour and never once getting my
name right. 'Ballki, Balkeye.' What is that?"
- Mary Anne makes the comment about
the babies telling them they wanted to hang out with their daddies while they
start dinner, but doesn't make any further remarks about it.
- As Mary Anne and Jennifer head for
the kitchen, Mary Anne says, "You know, my pregnancy was so easy I almost
feel like I missed out on something. What does labor feel
like?" "It feels a lot like having a drawer slam shut on your
hand over and over and over and . . . " Jennifer explains.
- In this script, Larry and Balki pick
up their infant sons and carry them to the couch. "You know, we'd
better make the most of these moments while we can, Balki," Larry points
out, "Before we know it Tucker and Robespierre will be heading off to
kindergarten, then college, then marriage and families of their own."
"And will they ever write or call?" Balki asks, "No."
To his son he says, "What's the matter, Mr. Big Shot, did you forget how to
dial a phone?" "It won't be like that, Balki, because we're
going to teach them to be responsible, caring, loyal, honorable men," Larry
insists. "And I hope little Tucker will look out for little
Robespierre like you looked out for me," Balki hopes. "Oh, I
don't know, buddy," Larry sighs, "I think we've both done our share of
looking out for each other." The script then says, "We oil
dissolve into and out of a short montage of some magic moments."
- When Jennifer and Mary Anne come
back into the living room, Jennifer asks, "What have you two been up
to?" "We've been telling our sons a few stories about their
fathers," Larry explains. "That's so sweet," Jennifer
smiles. "And it would have been even sweeter if you had told your
stories to the right sons," Mary Anne adds. Jennifer and Mary Anne
switch the babies so that Balki and Larry are holding the right baby. They
sit beside the guys. "Now that we're parents, I know our lives are
going to change, but I hope our families will always be as close as we are right
now," Larry says. "Well, of course we will, don't be
ridiculous," Balki says. And this is how the script was originally
supposed to end.
The production schedule
for the final week of shooting was set up this way as of August 13, 1992:

And the final
page of the script included a drawing of Porky Pig in his famous "That's
All, Folks!" stance, signifying the end of the series.

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