Nielsen Rating: 15.6 HH
PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE
EPISODE 15 - Two Men and a Cradle
First Air Date: December 3, 1986
Nielsen Rating: 15.6 HH
Co-Producer: James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Paula A. Roth
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Ernie Sabella: Mr. Donald Twinkacetti
Guest Cast:
Candi Milo: Gina Morelli
Deborah Benson: Linda Richards
Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri can be seen
sitting on the chair to the right of the couch throughout the episode.
However, earlier in the episode he has something around his neck, which may in
fact be a baby sheep in a papoose!
Balki-isms:
"Can’t pull the wool over your nose."
"You don’t want to have a nervous breakdance."
"Any other bright ideas, Mr. Spock?"
Don’t be ridiculous: Said three times in this episode.
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Watch . . . and learn!"
"Cousin, you are a genius!"
"We gotta talk about that."
"Oh my Lord!"
"Hi!" (in stereo)
"Are you crazy?"
"Yes! Yes!"
"Oh po po!"
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Balki laughs at his own joke (although he doesn’t say "Where do I come up
with them?")
Balki tries to warn Larry against doing something but Larry won't listen and it
turns out Balki was right
Larry grabs Balki by the shirt
Songs:
"The Star-Spangled Banner (American National Anthem)" - Balki sings one line when Gina says she and Steve
are going to Philadelphia
"Rock-a-bye Baby" - sung by Larry to try to get Little Frankie to go
to sleep
"The Brady Bunch Theme" - sung by Balki and Larry to get Little
Frankie to go to sleep
Interesting facts:
- The title of the episode is based on a classic
1986 French film called 3 Hommes et un Couffin (3 Men and a Cradle).
The film was remade in the U.S. in 1987 as Three Men and a Baby.
- This is the second appearance of Candi Milo as Balki’s friend Gina and also
the second appearance of her baby Frankie (although the baby wasn’t named in
the last episode and we never actually saw the baby when it was delivered).
Gina
also mentions her husband Steve who is once again talked about but never seen.
While these could have been long-term recurring characters this is the last
episode in which Gina appeared or was even mentioned. You can visit
Candi's official site by clicking here.
- Larry makes reference to his siblings again, mentioning Elaine in the context
that when he was a kid his mother used to say "Let Elaine tie you up!"
Elaine was probably the most mentioned Appleton sibling apart from Brother
Billy, both of whom would make appearances in the series, Elaine later this
season and Billy in the third season. Mentioned only in this episode is Larry’s
younger brother Davey who as a baby used to like it when Larry made faces at him.
- The way which Balki and Larry sing The Brady Bunch Theme in this
episode was so hilarious they did it again briefly in the third season episode Couch
Potato. Undoubtedly most Perfect Strangers fans cannot even sing the theme
song any more without adding "da da da da dum" after the appropriate
lines.
Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- Gina leaves Balki and Larry with Frankie in a baby carriage and a bag of
provisions, but in the scene where they are trying to sing Frankie to sleep he
is in a bassinet. Where did the bassinet come from? (Note: the
script says it is a portable crib but would 
one of those fit into the bag Gina
handed to Larry?)
- While the baby carriages look very similar, Balki
and Larry must not have been very observant at the park because there is one
major difference. Frankie's carriage had white oval designs on the side
while Katie's carriage did not!
Synopsis:
The episode begins in the Ritz Discount Store. Balki is kneeling down next
to a baby carriage. Gina, Balki's friend from his citizenship class, is
standing by the carriage. "Hello, Little Frankie," Balki says to
the baby inside the carriage as he gives him a bottle, "Dach
bo deez dis ne nik nik machnif manilk nunk." Balki looks up at Gina
with surprise and says, "This little baby speaks Myposian!
I just told him to drink his bottle, cry
a little and let the milk dribble down his chin and he did it."
"Now are you sure you don't mind keeping the baby for the weekend?"
Gina asks. "Gina, it's no problem," Balki assures her.
"Do you think it will be okay with Larry?" Gina asks.
"Well, of course I do. Don't be ridiculous," Balki says, then
adds, "Do we have to tell him?" "Balki!" Gina
scolds. "Okay, it's . . . it's no problem," Balki insists,
"I'll handle him." Larry enters the store and smiles.
"Gina!" "Hi," Gina
greets him.
"Look who she's got with her,"
Balki says, "It's Little Frankie." "Oh hi, Frankie.
How's it goin', pal? Huh?" Larry asks the baby 
playfully, then he
comments to Gina, "I bet you and Steve can't get enough of this little
guy." "Oh yeah, it's wonderful," Gina says less than
enthusiastically. "Gina, what's the problem?" Larry asks.
"Well, look, you know that Steve's a truck driver," Gina explains,
"and he's gone a week, sometimes two weeks at a time. When we're
apart, he misses me." "Well, of course he misses
you . . . that’s natural," Larry says. "No, I mean he really
misses me," Gina emphasizes. "W . . . well, yes, uh . . . "
Larry stammers. "You know . . . you know what I think?" Balki
asks, "I think that all Gina and Steve need is some time alone away from
the baby." "Well, Balki, you're right," Larry agrees,
"I think that's a wonderful idea." "I'm glad you said
that," Balki smiles. Larry starts to get suspicious and points out,
"Well, actually you said it first." "Yes, but you
said it was a wonderful idea. I heard you," Balki notes as
Gina nods in agreement.
"Balki, why do I get the feeling
there's more going on here than I'm aware of?" Larry asks worriedly. "Can’t pull
the wool over 
your nose," Balki sighs, "Cousin, I just thought it
would be nice if sometime we take the baby with us so that Gina and Steve could
have some time alone." "Well, that's no problem," Larry
says. "It's not?" Balki asks. "Of course not,"
Larry insists, "Gina, I tell you what . . . sometime next summer why don't
you and Steve just plan a really romantic evening . . . oh, what the heck . . .
make it a weekend . . . and Balki and I will take care of Little
Frankie." "Oh,
what the heck, how about we take him right now?" Balki suggests.
"W . . . what, now?" asks a surprised Larry, "Well, uh . . . I .
. . I'm sure Gina needs time to make plans." "Oh, they're
made!" Gina announces, much to Larry's shock, "I'm going with Steve on
a weekend run to Philadelphia." "Philadelphia! The
birthplace of the Constitution!" Balki states, and he starts singing 'The
Star Spangled Banner.' "I . . . I'm aware of that," Larry
assures them, "I . . . I just . . . " "Listen, don't worry
about a thing," Gina says quickly, handing Larry a bag full of baby items,
"Everything you need is right here in this bag."
"Well, I . . . " Larry tries to
be heard. "I have left complete instructions with Balki," Gina
continues, "Now, if you need to reach me 
you can get me on Steve's
CB. His handle is 'The Italian Stallion.'" She leans down to
kiss her son, saying, "Oh, be a good boy, Frankie. Mama loves
you." To Larry and Balki she says, "Thanks for everything.
This means a lot to me. Ciao. Graci." Balki and Gina
exchange some words in Italian while Larry tries desperately to be heard.
"Maybe . . . maybe one day we should, uh . . . uh . . "
But Gina hurries to the door and is gone. "Bye. Bye,"
Larry waves, "Have a wonderful time." Larry turns on Balki immediately
scowls, saying, "You tricked me!" Balki
lifts Frankie out of his carriage. "Now Cousin, Little Frankie's watching . . . you
. . . you don’t want to
have a nervous breakdance." At this moment Mr. Twinkacetti enters the store
in time to hear Larry say, "Balki, this is a decision we both should have
made." Twinkacetti stares at them in disbelief and Larry realizes he’s
looking at two men with a baby. He starts to explain but Twinkacetti stops him.
"I don’t know how you did it . . . and I don’t wanna know!" and
turns away.
Later that night in the apartment, Balki is cradling
Little Frankie in his arms when a timer goes off. "Oop. Okay, I
got to go pick up the laundry now," Balki tells Larry as he carries Frankie
to the carriage, "Uh . . . Cousin, will you be here?" Larry is
sitting on the 
couch, reading a book. "Watching the baby is not my
job," he reminds Balki, "I have a life, you know."
"Well, I'll be right back," Balki says as he lays Frankie in the
carriage, cooing, "Okay, okay . . . don't worry, Little Frankie. Your
bottle will be ready in just a minute." Balki hurries out the door to
get the laundry. Larry eyes Frankie, who is making quiet gurgling
sounds. "It’s not going to work," Larry tells
him, "Balki is the one
who made a promise to your mother and he’s the one who’s going to have to
keep it." Frankie keeps making baby sounds. "I know what
you're trying to do," Larry says, "You think if you do something
adorable, I'll melt. Well, you can forget it." Frankie makes a
laughing kind of sound. "Now come on. Cut that out," Larry
smiles, melting fast. Frankie keeps giggling and Larry leans over, asking,
"Did that come from you, you little . . . ?"
Balki enters the apartment carrying a
basket of laundry and Larry quickly resumes reading his book. "How is
Little Frankie?" 
Balki asks as he carries the basket to the couch and sets
it on the floor. "Hmm? Oh, fine I suppose," Larry says,
"I really haven't been paying attention." Balki starts folding
baby clothes. "What's that . . . your third load?" Larry
asks. "Fourth," Balki corrects, "And this is no a fun
job. In Mypos, we don't have washing machines and ready-made formula but
at least we have diapers that don't fall apart when you wash them."
Balki takes a mangled disposable diaper out of a bag and look at it.
"Balki, those are disposable diapers," Larry informs him. "Well, of course they are, don’t be
ridiculous," Balki says, then asks, "What’s your
point?" "Balki, after the baby goes boom-boom you're supposed to
throw them away," Larry explains. "Then what?" Balki
asks. "Then you use a new one," Larry answers. Balki looks
confused. "This is all very complicated and very tiring." "Well I hope you’re learning a
lesson in all this," Larry scolds. "Are you going to talk down to me
now?" Balki asks.
"Yes," Larry answers, "Yes,
I am. It just so happens that I have a lot more experience with babies
than you." "Well, of course you 
do," Balki agrees,
"Your Mama had nine of them." "Yes . . . yes she did,"
Larry confirms, "And I always had to help her with the others. She'd
say, 'Larry, run to the store and get some more milk. Larry, babysit your
brother. Larry, let Elaine tie you up.'" "Boy, that Elaine
was a pistol," Balki comments. "Never mind Elaine," Larry
says, "The point is I know there's more to taking care of a baby than just
holding it and letting it coo at you and you should have known it, too. You take responsibility too lightly!"
"Mmmm . . . maybe," Balki hesitates. "You do," Larry
insists, "You do. Say it." "I take responsibility too
lightly," Balki confesses. "That's right," Larry says with
a satisfied air. "N . . . now, will you . . . will you help me?"
Balki asks. "Well . . . someone's got to," Larry states as he
drops his book onto the coffee table. Balki grabs Larry's hand and places
his head down upon it, saying, "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you . . .
" Larry gets up from the couch and walks to the carriage with Balki
following.
"Well, I think it's getting close to
the little fella's feeding time. Now Balki . . . when you burp Little
Frankie later you'll want to put a towel on your shoulder so he doesn't dittle
on your shirt." "Cousin,
you’re a genius!" Balki proclaims, then asks, "Why you didn’t 
tell me that five shirts ago?"
"Is that his bottle?" Larry asks, motioning to a baby bottle in a pan
of water on the stove. "Well, it's not mine!" Balki jokes,
laughing at his own humor. "All right now, Balki, listen very
carefully," Larry instructs as he gets the bottle, "It's very
important that the temperature of the milk is right." "Yes, I
know that, but . . . " Balki says, reaching for the bottle, but Larry walks
away. "You don't want it to be too hot or too cold," Larry
continues, "so what you want to do after you warm the bottle is to just
throw a few drops on your arm . . . " "Yes, yes," Balki
tries to interrupt, "I know that. Cousin . . . " "Balki,
please . . . Balki . . . do you want my help or not?" "Yes I do,
but . . . but . . . " "All right then, Balki . . . just . . .
Balki . . . Balki . . . watch
. . . and learn! You just want to sprinkle a few drops on the inside of
your wrist." Larry tips the bottle over and the top falls off,
dumping formula all over Larry's arm. "Warm enough?" Balki
finally asks. "Perfect,"
Larry answers.
Later that night Balki is asleep on the
couch and Larry is falling to sleep on the chair next to Frankie, who is in a
bassinet. Frankie is wailing, waking Larry who is obviously dead tired and making
a feeble attempt to rock the bassinet. "Balki," Larry calls as
he stands up and walks to the couch, "Balki . . . wake up. It's three
in the morning. It's your turn." Balki pushes himself up from
the couch, complaining sleepily, "Already? I . . . I don't
understand. He can't be hungry." Larry sits on the couch and
Balki walks to the bassinet to pick up Frankie. "He's not wet,"
Balki notes, "Why you won't sleep?" "Maybe he's a night
person," Larry suggests. Balki starts walking the floor with Frankie
and asks, "How do parents live
through this?" "I’ll tell you how," Larry responds, "They get a couple of jerks to take their baby off their hands. Let me
amend that . . . they get one jerk to trick a bigger jerk into taking a baby off
their hands."
"So you're saying this is all my
fault?" Balki asks. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying,"
Larry confirms, "You should have known 
we
couldn't handle this kind of responsibility." "Well, what
happened to Mr. "I-Come-From-A-Big-Family?" Balki asks.
"Oh, okay," Larry sighs, getting up from the couch and joining Balki
at the bassinet where he's set Frankie back down, "Okay . . . how about
this? My little brother Davey used to like it when I made faces at
him." Balki gives Larry a skeptical look. "Well, it's
worth a try," Larry notes, squatting down next to the bassinet. He
proceeds to make a couple of weird faces, causing Frankie to cry even
more. "Any other bright ideas, Mr. Spock?" Balki
asks. Larry's eyes open wide with realization. "Balki . . .
we've overlooked the simplest solution of all." "Well, of course
we have. Don't be ridiculous," Balki agrees, then asks, "What is
it?" "Use your head," Larry says, "Since the
beginning of time what have mothers done to calm cranky babies?" Balki’s
eyes open wide and he responds, "Well, I can think of one thing but . . . we’re not
equipped for that." "I’m talking about singing the baby to
sleep!" Larry suggests. "Cousin, you are a genius!" Balki
proclaims, "What should we sing?"
"What else?" Larry asks, and he
proceeds to sing "Rock-a-bye baby." As Balki listens to the
lyrics, he becomes more and more horrified: "Rock-a-bye baby, on
the treetop; when the wind blows the cradle will rock; when the bough breaks the
cradle will fall, 
and down will come baby, cradle and all. . . "
"Stop it!" Balki cries, "You give him nightmares! Who made
up such a terrible song?" "It’s not
such a terrible song. My mother sang it to me all the time!" Larry cries.
"Well, that explains a lot," Balki comments. "I suppose you
have a better song?" Larry asks. "Well, of course I do,"
Balki says. "Oh, is that right?" "That's
right." "Oh, really?" Larry asks. "I . . .
Frankie should hear a song about a happy family . . . " "Oh, I
see." " . . . with happy little children who don't fall out of
trees and . . . " He tilts his head to indicate an injury.
"Well, please . . . be my guest," Larry offers. Balki leans over
the bassinet and starts to sing, "Here's the story of a man named Brady,
who was busy with three boys of his own, da da da da
dum . . . " As Balki continues to sing "The Brady Bunch
Theme," Larry is amazed to see it is working and joins in, even singing the "da da da da
dum" part. Together they succeed in finally getting Frankie to sleep
and the scene fades to black.
Act two begins in the apartment during the
day. The door opens and Larry enters, pushing the baby carriage
inside. "You know . 
.
. the park's a totally different place when you have a child with you,"
Larry comments. Balki enters behind him, carrying some balloons and a
snack, and closes the door with his foot. "And taking Frankie along
was fun, too," Larry finishes his thought. "Too bad we didn't
know last night that he likes to sleep in the park," Balki notes.
"Did you notice how perky he was when he woke up from his nap?" Larry
asks as he hangs up his jacket, "Most babies take a little while to adjust
but not our Frankie." Balki sets down the balloons and snack and
takes off his jacket as well. "And he smiled at everyone who looked
into his carriage," Balki adds. "Mmm hmm," Larry hums,
hanging up Balki's jacket, "I think the other parents were a little
jealous, don't you?" "Well, of course they were. We had
the best baby," Balki agrees. "Did you notice how nervous some
of them were?" Larry asks, "I don't think they've had any experience
with babies at all. I don't know what the big fuss is. After all, what’s a baby but a short adult
in plastic
pants?"
There is crying from the carriage.
"Oh, I know that cry!" Balki says, "That's an 'I'm wet and
uncomfortable' cry." Larry hands 
Balki
a diaper and goes to get a soda out of the refrigerator as Balki proceeds to
change the baby. As he walks away, Larry hums "The Brady Bunch
Theme." "Is Uncle Balki right?" Balki asks the baby,
"Are you all wet and . . . ?" Balki stops suddenly, looking
startled. "Cousin?" "Hmm?" Larry asks.
"The last time you changed Little Frankie, was he a little boy or a little
girl?" Balki asks. Larry thinks about this a moment, then walks to
Balki. "What are you talking about? He's a boy."
"Well, we gotta talk about that," Balki says, "This baby is a
girl." "That's not possible," Larry insists. "It
is possible if we took the wrong baby home from the park," Balki points
out, "Look for yourself." Larry frantically fumbles with the
baby's covers, then leans back in shock. "Oh my Lord. That's,
uh . . . whoa . . . that's . . . that's not a boy." "I just said
that," Balki notes. Larry turns on Balki, grabbing him by the
sleeves. "How could something like this happen?"
"Well, maybe it happened during the puppet show," Balki speculates,
"There were so many carriages just like Frankie's and you didn't notice you
took the wrong carriage."
"I took the wrong
carriage?" Larry cries. "Well . . . I couldn't be pushing the
carriage. I was getting the balloons," Balki says. 
"Well,
you're the one who wanted the balloons," Larry points out.
"Well, they were for Frankie," Balki explains. "Well, they’re not for
Frankie now!" Larry cries. "What are we going to do?" Balki
cries in panic. "All right, all right," Larry says, trying to be
calm, "We'll go back to the park and look for Frankie." Larry
starts for the door but Balki stops him. "Wait a minute . . . I got
it . . . we go back to the park and look for Frankie," Balki
suggests. "Right!" Larry agrees. They both run for the
door. "Wait a minute!" Balki cries before they open the door,
"What if he's not there?" "Oh my God!" Larry gasps,
"What if he's not there?" Larry opens the door and they both run
out, closing the door behind them. A moment later the door opens and they
come back in for the baby carriage. "You did it again!" Larry
says. "I didn't leave the baby, you left the baby!" Balki
argues. They grab the carriage and run back out of the apartment, leaving
the door open. A moment later they come back. "You left the
door open!" Larry scolds. "I didn't leave the door open,"
Balki argues as they close the door.
Some time later the door to the apartment
opens and Larry and Balki enter in despair, Larry pushing the same carriage they
had 
before.
"I can't believe we couldn't find the baby," Larry says in a monotone
voice. "I can't believe Gina's going to be here any minute and we
have to tell her we couldn't find the baby," Balki adds. Balki starts
looking around, calling, "Frankie? Frankie?" "Well, what do you think? He came home
on his own?" Larry asks. After a moment Larry starts to look around
and calls out hopefully, "Frankie? Frankie?" "All
right," Balki says, "We told everyone at the park . . . we called the
police, we called the newspapers. Is there anything else we should have
done?" "Well, how should I know? I’ve never lost a baby before!"
Larry starts to hyperventilate. "All right, you need . . . you need
to calm down," Balki urges, "Calm down." Larry immediately
stops hyperventilating. "The people who took Frankie by mistake will
realize they made a mistake and they'll bring him back here," Balki points
out. "Do you think so?" Larry asks hopefully.
"Yes," Balki assures him. Larry sighs with relief.
"Unless . . . they’re the ones that owned
the Winnebago we saw at the park," Balki realizes, "They could be halfway across the
state before
they realize they took the wrong baby!" "Why did you have to say
that?" Larry cries. "Did I say that?" Balki asks.
"We have to get Frankie back before Gina gets here," Larry says
adamantly. There is a knock at the door. "Gina!" Balki and
Larry cry in panic. "What are we going to do?" Balki asks.
"No problem," Larry says, "We're not here." "But we
are
here," Balki points out. "She won’t know that if we don’t
answer," Larry surmises, "In a little while she’ll go away and in a
couple of days we’ll call her and tell her to come get Frankie."
Balki laughs nervously and asks, "You are kidding, aren't you?"
"Well, what do you suggest we do?" Larry demands. "I
suggest we tell her the truth," Balki says. "Oh! Oh!
That's just fine!" Larry says, "And when she asks how everything went
we just say 'Oh ho, smooth as silk with one slight hitch . . . we lost the
baby. Ha ha ha! How 'bout a soft drink?'"
Gina knocks again and then calls through
the door, "Hey, anybody home?" "Well, I've got to open the
door for her," Balki says, 
moving
to head the door. "Oh, no you don't!" Larry cries, stopping
him. "Oh, yes I do!" Balki argues, picking up Larry and swinging
him to stand behind him. "Oh, no you don't!" Larry counters,
grabbing Balki and swinging him around the same way. "Cousin, I have
to open the . . . " Balki heads for the door and Larry grabs him
around the arms from behind but can't stop him, so Larry is dragged to the door
with him. "No, no!" Larry cries. Balki opens the door and
they both compose themselves, saying, "Hi!" "Hi," Gina
smiles, then she sees the carriage and starts to walk to it, "How's my
Little Frankie?" Larry ushers her away from the carriage, saying,
"Oh shh! Shhh! Asleep, asleep! We'll go over
here." He pulls Gina to the couch where they all sit down.
"Oh well, I certainly hope he wasn't too much trouble," Gina
says. "Well, everything was all right until today," Balki
begins, despite Larry's desperate movements to make him stop, "And then we
took Frankie to the park. And all we wanted . . . we . . . we meant for
him to have a good time . . . "
"What Balki is trying to say is that
we were having so much fun with Frankie that we . . . we . . . we hate to see
him go," Larry 
covers.
Balki has taken Gina's hand to comfort her. "Gina, uh . . . I . . . I
went to get a balloon for . . . for Frankie," Balki continues, "and .
. . and . . . and . . . I thought Cousin Larry . . . " "He
thought that I wanted a balloon," Larry laughs, "Why would I want a
balloon? Ha ha ha ha. But enough about us. How was your
weekend?" "Well, it was wonderful," Gina smiles, "Very
romantic. Steve and I worked out a lot of problems. We decided that
when Frankie gets a little older we're going to have another baby. Maybe
we'll have a girl next time." "Maybe sooner than you think," Balki
says, holding tightly onto her hand and kissing it, "Gina . . . this is not
easy but . . . we have something to tell you. You have to know that . . .
" "That you look terrible," Larry interrupts. "I
do?" Gina asks with surprise. "No, she does not," Balki
argues. "Oh, yes she does!" Larry insists, "Oh, yes you
do. I . . . I know you've been on the road eighteen hours but you don't
want Frankie to see you until you freshen up. You'll scare the dickens out
of him!" Larry grabs Gina and leads her to the bathroom, pushing her
inside.
"Yeah, but Steve is waiting in the
truck," Gina points out. "Well, he can wait!" Larry
insists, shutting the bathroom door, "You 
take
all the time you need. The baby'll be here when you get out. Ha ha
ha ha ha!" Larry races out to the living room and grabs Balki by the
shirt, who is standing by the carriage. "What are you trying to
do?" Larry cries. "I’m
trying to tell Gina the truth," Balki says. "Oh . . . "
Larry begins when there is another knock on the
door. "Steve!" they both gasp. "I’ve
got to let him in," Balki insists. "Are you crazy?" Larry
cries, "He’s a teamster! He’ll kill us!" The person
knocks again. "Cousin, I've got to open that door," Balki says,
moving toward the door. Larry stops him, saying, "Oh, no you
don't!" "Oh, yes I do!" Balki argues, picking up Larry and
moving him around again. "Oh, no you don't!" Larry counters,
doing the same thing. Again Balki heads for the door and Larry grabs him
from behind and is dragged along. "No, no!" Larry grunts.
Balki opens the door and they compose themselves in front of a woman there,
saying, "Hi!"
"Katie!" the woman cries,
running to the baby carriage in the living room. "Frankie!"
Balki and Larry cry, running into the hallway 
and
bringing in an almost identical baby carriage. The woman picks up her baby
and holds her. "Oh! Oh! Hi, I'm Linda Richards," she
introduces herself, "When I discovered I took the wrong baby I was almost
out of my mind with worry." "Oh, he was worried," Larry says, pointing to Balki,
"I’m just out
of my mind." Linda puts the baby back into the carriage and explains,
"I went to the park and some people told me to come here. Thank you
so much for taking care of her." "Oh, thank you for taking care
of Frankie," Balki replies. "Oh . . . well, I . . . I’d better be going,"
Linda says, "My husband has a Winnebago double-parked out front."
"I'd love to hear more about your trip," Larry says, hurrying her out
the door, "but uh, I don't want you to get a ticket. Uh, glad you
dropped by. See you again some other time. Bye bye,
Katie!" Larry comes back in laughing and closes the door before
hurrying to Balki and catching his breath.
"We made it," Larry sighs, then
adds, "And you were going to tell Gina the truth!" "How do
we know that this is Little Frankie?" 
Balki
asks. "There's one way to be sure," Larry says, and he fumbles
with with the blankets and then undoes the baby's diaper. Balki and Larry
look down with confidence. "Oh yes," Balki says.
"Yes. Yes!" Larry states, "That's him all
right." "That's the little baby," Balki agrees,
"Little Italian Stallion." Gina exits the bathroom and asks,
"Well, how do I look now?" "Oh, you look terrific,"
Larry assures her and leads her to the baby carriage where Balki hands Frankie
to her, saying, "Oh po po!" "Hi," Gina says to
Frankie, then to Balki and Larry she says, "Thanks for everything.
You guys are fantastic." "Oh, it was nothing," Larry
smiles. Gina looks down at Frankie and asks, "Why is he wearing a t-shirt that says
'Katie?'" She looks to them for an explanation, which they don't
have.
Later, Larry and Balki have made some
popcorn and sit down on the couch to watch television. "You know,
except for the last 
two
hours I kind of enjoyed having Frankie around," Larry notes, "Of course
for the last few hours . . . he wasn’t around." "It makes you
realize what a lot of work it is being a mother," Balki says. "Oh
yeah, my
mother had to raise nine of us," Larry adds. "You know,
tomorrow I'm going to go buy a present for my Mama to say thank you," Balki
says. "Well, that's a good idea," Larry agrees, "I think
I'll send my mother some flowers." "You know, it's . . . it's
not easy having someone depend on you to take care of them when they can’t take care of
themselves," Balki notes. "Yeah,
that Frankie was a handful," Larry agrees. "I was talking about
you," Balki says. Balki turns on the television set and we hear The Brady
Bunch Theme playing. Balki and Larry join in on the "da da da da dum"
part and the episode ends.
Script Variations:
There are a few variations between the Shooting Script dated October 7, 1986 and
the final episode:
- The turn of phrases "pull the wool over your nose" and "you
don't want to have a nervous breakdance" are simpler in this script
version, the first being "Can't fool you" and the second being
"You don't want to fall to pieces." Also Twinkacetti's line
after seeing them with the baby is simply "I don't even want to hear about
it."
- After Balki washes the disposable diets Larry says "You aren't supposed
to wash them." Balki replies with "Oh, po po. And you say
Mypos is backward. At least we're clean."
- After Larry suggests they pretend not to be home when Gina comes for Frankie
he also says, "Okay, how about this? All babies look the same.
She'll be home before she notices anything's wrong and we will have moved by
then."
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