PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE

EPISODE 149 -  Up, Up and Away, Part One

First Air Date: August 6, 1993
Filming Date: August 19, 1992
Nielsen Rating: 9.8 HH

Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Barry O’Brien & Cheryl Alu
Directed by: Jeffrey Ganz

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Bartokomous

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri’s photo can be see on the fireplace mantel.

Balki-isms:
"Okay, a hike!  Even though that seems a bit more strenuous than the fair."
" . . . and then she wanted a corn dog, which I really don’t understand ‘cause it’s not corn and it’s not a dog.  What is it?"

Don’t be ridiculous: Said once in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
"Where do I come up with them?"
"Are you crazy?"
"What are . . . are you two out of your minds?"
"Well, now you’ve done it!"

Other running jokes used in this episode:
Balki and Mary Anne play Boochi Tag
Balki laughs at his own joke
A reference is made to Larry’s needing Maalox
Larry growls at Balki
Larry and Balki say the same thing simultaneously

Notable Moments:
Mary Anne gives birth to her and Balki’s son, Robespierre Boinki Bartokomous

Songs:
"Who’s Got the Pain?" - sung by Balki and Mary Anne as they dance into the house after coming home from the fair

Interesting facts:
- This episode aired as part of a one hour season finale special with the part two making up the second half hour.  Despite being shown in a one hour block, the two parts were still shown in two separate episodes with a commercial running between them previewing the series finale and the end credits and recap intact, which is fortunate because since these episodes only ever ran once we would never have had a chance to see the two separate episodes complete otherwise.
- Jeffrey Ganz, who directed this penultimate episode, was formerly an associate producer on the series Laverne & Shirley, and his brother, Lowell Ganz, co-created that series!  Jeffrey Ganz also directed episodes of Family Matters and Hangin’ with Mr. Cooper.
- This is the second time the song "Who’s Got the Pain?" from the musical Damn Yankees has been sung on the show.
- The balloon prop and the establishing shots of the balloon were previously used on the season two Family Matters episode High Hopes.  In that episode, Steve Urkel tries to help Carl get over his fear of heights by taking him up in a hot air balloon.  Amazingly Steve also managed to end up hanging from the basket in that episode (that seems to happen a lot in sitcoms where people go up in hot air balloons!)  It’s also interesting to note that the hot air balloon instructor in that episode was played by Jim Doughan, who played Jimmy the Security Guard on several episodes of Perfect Strangers.
- The name McNulty has been referenced off and on in various Miller / Boyett shows, but we’re not sure exactly which McNulty the reference is a nod to!
- Another line from The Wizard of Oz line is worked into this episode as Balki exclaims, "I can’t get back!  I don’t know how it works!" while the balloon is taking off, referencing the scene near the end of the film when Professor Marvel takes off in the balloon without Dorothy.

Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- When Jennifer is trying to get Balki to tell her what Mary Anne did that might have possible induced her labor, she asks Balki, "What did Mary Anne do yesterday?"  "She had my child," Balki answers.  But only moments later Balki says he’s taken a picture of his son every hour for the past two days!  Technically we can see what Balki means (yesterday and today) but literally it’s only been 24 hours.

Synopsis:
The episode begins one day at the house.  Jennifer is lying on the couch in the living room with her legs resting on a pile of cushions and an ice pack on them.  She is reading a book.  Larry enters through the front door and calls toward the stairs, "Hi, Jen, I’m home!  I . . . I’m sorry I’m late!  The traffic was terrible!"  Larry walks by the couch without looking and casually throws his jacket over Jennifer’s head.  Jennifer waves at him and Larry finally sees her on the couch and hurries around to her.  "Oh!  Oh, Sweetheart!  Sweetheart, I am . . . I am so sorry!" Larry apologizes as he pulls his jacket off her, "Oh, I . . . I didn’t see you there.  Although, I don’t know how I could have missed you."  Larry laughs and Jennifer just looks at him.  "No, I mean, not that you’re . . . not that you’re too big to miss!" Larry backtracks, laughing nervously, "No, just . . . no, I didn’t mean . . . I . . . I . . . I, and I’ll . . . I’ll stop talking now."

Larry sits down by Jennifer’s feet and asks, "Is there . . . is there anything I can do for you, Precious?"  "Yes, have this baby," Jennifer answers wearily.  "All right, I know you’re a little overdue and I understand.  I do.  Really," Larry assures her, "But you are gonna have this baby any day now."  "No, Larry, I’ve been pregnant so long that this baby is gonna go straight from delivery room to college," Jennifer sighs.  "Well, at least we’ll miss the toilet training," Larry points out.  Balki runs down the stairs and then stops on the landing, looking back up and saying, "Boochi, boochi, boochi!"  Mary Anne runs down the stairs and taps Balki with her finger, replying, "Boochi, boochi, boochi!"  They both run down the final stairs and stop at the couch.  Balki pokes Jennifer and Mary Anne pokes Larry and they say, "Boochi, boochi, boochi!" then run away.

Realizing that Jennifer and Larry are not chasing them, Balki and Mary Anne return to the couch.  "All right, it hasn’t escaped our notice that some people in this house . . . we’re not gonna mention names . . . " Balki says.  "No," Mary Anne agrees.  " . . . have been a little less than jolly," Balki continues, "But we have just the way to turn them frowns upside down.  We’re going to a place that’s big and colorful, where barnyard animals roam freely.  No, it’s not my bedroom!"  Balki laughs at his own joke and Mary Anne also laughs.  "Where do I come up with them?" Balki exclaims, then announces, "We’re going to the fair!"  Balki and Mary Anne dance around the couch as Balki shouts, "Oh!  Oh!  Oh!" and Mary Anne squeals, "Wheee!"  Balki sits down on the arm of the couch and hugs Larry’s head excitedly.  "And Balki’s gonna enter his boysenberry pig gut preserves in the jams and jellies contest!" Mary Anne adds.  Mary Anne hugs Jennifer’s head and Balki again hugs Larry’s head.

"Come on, you guys," Mary Anne urges, "You want to be the first in line at the petting zoo because later in the afternoon the animals get so cranky."  "So, come on, come on, come on!" Balki says, and he pulls Larry up from the couch as Mary Anne tries to lift Jennifer.  "Hold it!  Hold it!  Hold it!" Larry complains.  Mary Anne drops Jennifer, who falls back against the arm of the couch.  "Are you crazy?" Larry cries, "We are not going to the fair!  Jennifer is in no condition to be waddling around the fairgrounds!  She can barely waddle around here!  Now, I mean, just look at her!"  Mary Anne and Balki look at Jennifer.  "I think they get the picture, Larry," Jennifer says with annoyance.  "The fair is out of the question," Larry states.  "Okay, forget the fair," Balki says, "We’ll go miniature golfing.  We’ll just sort of golf around her.  Just . . . "  Balki and Mary Anne both mimic miniature golfing.

"Balki," Larry sighs, "Balki, take a hike."  "Okay, a hike!" Balki agrees, "Even though that seems a bit more strenuous than the fair."  "Get out," Larry states.  "What?" Balki asks.  "Get out," Larry repeats, "Get out now."  "Well, excuse us for trying to bring a little bit of joy into your lives," Balki says, "Come on, Mary Anne, let’s forget this whole ugly incident at the Square Dance Pavilion."  Balki and Mary Anne dance their way out the front door.  Larry sits back down on the couch and pats Jennifer’s feet.  "Larry, I’m a little hungry," Jennifer says, "Would you fix me something to eat?"  "Sure," Larry answers.  "Maybe some fresh fruit, a . . . a tossed salad, some cheese, a pot roast with those little round potatoes . . . "  Larry gets up to go to the kitchen when Jennifer says, "Oh wait a minute, what am I thinking?  I couldn’t finish that much food.  Um . . . forget the little potatoes."  Larry heads for the kitchen.

Jennifer suddenly starts to breath in short exhales, looking concerned.  Larry returns to the couch and says, "Sweetheart, uh, if you’re going to practice your Lamaze breathing remember you have to start with a cleansing breath."  Larry breaths in deeply and exhales twice to demonstrate.  "Come on, try it with me now," Larry encourages her, breathing in and exhaling again.  "Larry, Honey . . . I’m not practicing," Jennifer explains, "I’m having the baby."  "What?" Larry asks, startled, "What?"  "We have to go to the hospital," Jennifer says calmly, "I’ll, um . . . I’ll write Balki and Mary Anne a note."  "Okay, good, good," Larry agrees as he slowly starts to panic, "You write them the note.  All right.  All right.  I’ll . . . I’ll get the car.  Where are the keys?  All right, no, where’s the Maalox?  Huh?  No, where’s my jacket?  Where is your suitcase?!"  Larry runs around to the couch and pulls the cushions away to sit next to Jennifer, breathing erratically.

Larry stops his crazy breathing and says seriously, "Jen, we have to talk.  Now, in the last week we have gone to the hospital numerous times and you know how it goes, it’s always the same.  You tell me you’re in labor, I have a mini-breakdown, somehow we get out the door, I drive on the sidewalk, we get to the hospital and we find out it is false labor . . . false labor, Jen.  And then we come home and then I have to go back to the hospital and have my blood pressure lowered.  Now, I . . . I only have one trip left in me, Jen.  If we’re going to do this, I have to know that this is the real thing."  Jennifer takes Larry’s hands in hers and assures him, "This is the real thing, Larry.  We have to go to the hospital.  We have to go now."

"Okay . . . okay, all right, all right," Larry sighs, patting her hand, "All right . . . all right . . . just . . . just so long as you know what you’re getting yourself into."  They get up from the couch and Jennifer heads for the door.  "Okay, all right.  Here we go!" Larry says, going into panic mode again, "All right, I’ll get the car!  All right, where’s my keys?  All right, no.  Where the Maalox?  Where’s my jacket?  No, where’s the suitcase?!"  Jennifer has the suitcase and is walking out the door.  "All right!  Come on!  Let’s go!" Larry screams as he runs after Jennifer, "Let’s go!  All right, here we go!  I’m breathing . . . too fast.  We’re not gonna make it.  Just . . . clear the sidwalks!"  Larry runs out the door.

We see an establishing shot of the house and the caption "Later That Day."  Balki and Mary Anne enter through the front door, dancing in a conga line fashion with an enormous teddy bear.  They sing, "Who’s got the pain when they do the mambo, who’s got the pain when they go, ‘Hoo!’  Who’s got the pain when they do the mambo?  I dunno who . . . do you?  Someone must be sick with the heat, or stepping on everyone’s feet, but if everyone’s feeling okay, why don’t they just say ‘Olé?’"  On the last line they both flop back onto the couch with the bear between them.  "Oh, Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut preserves didn’t win first prize," Mary Anne offers.  "Well, that’s okay," Balki says, "I guess they just . . . hated my guts!"  Balki and Mary Anne both laugh at Balki’s joke.  "Where do I come up with them?" Balki asks as they raise the bear’s arms to the sky.  "Thank you for winning Bobo for me," Mary Anne adds, "I just love him.  He’s so cute!"

Balki lifts the bear in front of him and makes it say, "And I love you, too, Mary Anne!  And remember, only you can prevent forest fires!"  Mary Anne giggles and Balki makes the bear snuggle against her.  "Okay!" Mary Anne laughs, "Okay, Bobo.  Take a break!"  Balki and Mary Anne throw Bobo the bear over the back of the couch and then settle in together on the couch.  "Oh, Balki, look . . . a note," Mary Anne says as she picks up Jennifer’s note from the coffee table and reads, "‘We’ve gone to the hospital.  I’m having my baby.’  Gee, I wonder who it could be from?"  "For heaven’s sake, Mary Anne," Balki sighs, taking the note to examine it, "See, it’s on my stationery."  They both stare at the note for a moment, thinking and saying, "Hmmmmm."  Suddenly they realize it together.  "It’s from Jennifer!" Mary Anne gasps as Balki says, "It’s from Cousin Jennifer!  Jennifer’s having her baby!"

"We have to call the hospital," Mary Anne says and she pushes Balki back.  "No, no, no, we have to go to the florist!" Balki argues, pushing Mary Anne toward the door.  "No, no, no, we have to call the florist!" Mary Anne corrects, trying to get to the phone.  "We’ll go to the florist and call the hospital from the florist," Balki says, and they both run to the open door.  Jennifer and Larry enter just as they reach the door and Balki and Mary Anne both gasp, "Oh!"  "Congratulations!  Congratulations!" Mary Anne cries.  "Oh congratulations!  You had a baby!  Oh my goodness!" Balki cries.  Jennifer walks dejectedly over to the chair to sit down.  "We’re home!" Larry says facetiously as he sits on the arm of the chair.  "And . . . and . . . and you’re home in only one day!" Balki points out, "What stamina!  You must be part Myposian!"  "Oh, Jennifer, I’m so happy for you . . . I think I’m gonna cry," Mary Anne sobs.  "Jennifer didn’t have the baby!" Larry points out with frustration.  "Well, that . . . that would explain why she’s still so huge," Balki notes.

"You didn’t have the baby?" Mary Anne asks.  "It was another false alarm," Jennifer explains.  "Oh!" Balki and Mary Anne sigh.  "I hyperventilated, drove on the sidewalk, Jennifer yelled, screamed, pulled the nurse’s hair, you know . . . the usual," Larry sighs.  Mary Anne starts to giggle as she holds her stomach.  "Mary Anne, please, there’s nothing funny about what I’m going through," Jennifer scolds.  Mary Anne continues to giggle and says, "I’m sorry, Jennifer.  I wasn’t laughing at you."  She starts to giggle again.  "Oh, I know what it is," Balki says, "You’re . . . you’re thinking about the way I looked in the Fun House mirror."  Balki makes himself look thin and then squat.  "No, but that’s funny, too," Mary Anne giggles, then she says, "Oh, I feel all funny inside.  I think I’m having my baby."  "Really?" Jennifer asks.  "Yes," Mary Anne confirms.  Jennifer jumps up from the chair and pushes Balki down on the couch, crying, "You can’t be having your baby!  I’m . . . I’m due before you are!  It’s my turn!  Larry, make her stop!"

Jennifer pushes Larry toward Mary Anne.  "Oh, listen, um . . . uh, Mary Anne . . . this is . . . this is kind of a touchy subject with Jennifer right now," Larry explains, "Is . . . is there any way that . . . that you could just hold off hol . . . on having that baby?"  Mary Anne giggles even more intently and says, "I don’t think so, Larry!  Oh, boy!"  Balki stands up and says, "Okay, now listen everyone.  Listen, listen . . . here’s the plan.  Now, uh . . . Jennifer, would you please walk Mary Anne to the car?  And um . . . I’ll call the doctor and tell him to meet us at the hospital and Cousin Larry, you get the pig snout pacifier.  All right, go."  Jennifer helps Mary Anne out the door and says, "Mary Anne, you’re gonna hear a lot of ugly things about my behavior at the hospital today.  Unfortunately, it’s all true."  Balki has dialed the phone and speaks calmly into the receiver.  "Yes, hello.  Uh, this is Balki Bartokomous.  My wife, Mary Anne Bartokomous, is on her way to the hospital.  She is in labor.  Would you . . . yes, I’ll hold."

After a moment Balki continues, "Oh yes, hello.  Ah . . . uh, yes, and would you please tell Dr. Ives that we are on our way to the hospital and would he please meet us there?  Okay, thank you.  Oh, I’m fine.  I’m fine.  Are you . . . are you okay?  Thank you very much.  Bye bye."  Balki hangs up the phone.  "Boy, you are gone!" Larry comments.  "Well, I will be in just a second," Balki agrees.  "Who do you think you are fooling with this ‘I am in control’ act?" Larry asks.  "I am in control," Balki assures him as he pulls a knapsack from the closet and heads for the front door.  "No, you just think you’re in control," Larry argues, "You’re in the midst of a major breakdown."  "What?" Balki asks.  "And you’re in denial," Larry explains.  "No, I’m not," Balki insists.  "See?" Larry asks, pointing knowingly.  "Oh my god, you’re right," Balki realizes, "What am I denying?"  Larry pulls Balki away from the door and explains, "All right, you are facing one of the most important moments of your adult life and you are starting to realize that millions of things can go wrong!"

"What can go wrong?" Balki asks.  "Well, just getting to the hospital," Larry points out, "What if you run out of gas?  What if you get stuck in a traffic jam?  What if the transmission falls out?"  "What if I hit a cow and then I have to bury it and comfort the other cows?" Balki asks.  "Just go with those feelings, buddy," Larry encourages, "Just . . . just let it happen.  Go ahead."  "Oh Cousin," Balki cries, "Oh Cousin, I . . . I . . . I . . . I didn’t mean to hit her!  She ran out in front of my car!  She was . . . she was chasing a salt lick!  One minute she was a happy, productive little heifer, and the next . . . ground chuck."  Balki sobs as Larry nods and pats his back sympathetically.  Just as Balki is about to continue, Jennifer runs into the house.

"Guys, the most amazing thing just happened!  Mary Anne had the baby in the car!"  "What?" Balki asks.  "Balki, you have a son!" Jennifer explains, and she hurries back outside.  Balki stands, stunned, then asks, "Did you hear that, Cousin?  I have a son!"  "Well, congratulations!" Larry says excitedly, "Well, come on, we’ve gotta get ‘em both to the hospital!"  "Yeah, but . . . but what if something goes wrong?" Balki asks worriedly, "What if, uh . . . what if, uh, I run out of gas or . . . or the transmission on my car falls out . . . or I hit another cow.  The other cows know about me now!"  "Okay, Balki . . . Balki . . . Balki!" Larry urges, "Just get a hold of yourself!"  "Yeah . . . yeah," Balki agrees, "You’re right.  You’re right.  Gotcha.  I’m fine."  "Okay," Larry says as Balki smiles broadly and giggles, "Let’s go."  "Okay," Balki agrees, and he falls backwards into a dead faint as the scene fades to black.

Act two begins the next day at the house.  Larry, Jennifer and Balki are sitting on the couch in the living room.  Balki is looking at photographs in an accordion photo holder in his wallet.  "Balki, I’ve been going over this and over this," Jennifer says, "There has to be something different that Mary Anne did that made her go into labor so early.  I’ve got to find out what it was and do it.  I’ve got to have this baby now!"  "Well, Jennifer, no one wants you to have this baby more than I do but I don’t think anything Mary Anne did had anything to do with her going into labor," Larry scoffs.  "Maybe you’re right, sweetheart," Jennifer smiles, "Would you fix me a Pop Tart?  And cut it into little tiny squares like I like it?"  "Well, of course, honey," Larry says, leaning over to kiss her, "Anything for my little mother-to-be."  They smile at each other cutely as Larry walks into the kitchen.

As soon as Larry is gone, Jennifer turns on Balki.  "Balki, tell me everything Mary Anne did yesterday up until she went into labor."  "Okay, but first I have a really important question for you," Balki says, holding a photo up to show Jennifer, "Is this the cutest nose you’ve ever seen in your life or what?"  "It’s adorable," Jennifer nods.  "Don’t worry . . . he’ll grow into it," Balki assures her.  "Balki, what did Mary Anne do yesterday?" Jennifer asks.  "She had my child," Balki smiled proudly, "Little Robespierre Boinki Bartokomous . . . a.k.a. . . . "  "The cutest baby in the world," Jennifer says along with Balki.  "Ooh!" Balki exclaims as he looks at the picture again, "I’ve taken a photograph of him every hour for the last two days . . . and I’ve just realized if I flip them real fast you can see him grow."  Balki pulls the accordion photo holder open quickly, then again, saying, "Baby’s first steps!"

"Oh, okay, okay, okay," Jennifer says, making Balki stop, "Balki, I need to know everything Mary Anne did leading up to the birth of little Robespierre Boinki."  "Well, let’s see, uh . . . she didn’t do much of anything until we went to the fair," Balki explains, "Mary Anne spent thirty-six dollars at the coin toss and she won a moustache comb which . . . which she gave to the Bearded Lady ‘cause she’s such a giving soul.  And all that time, unbeknownst to us, little Robespierre Boinki was planning to make his little entrance into the world."  Balki giggles and shows Jennifer another photo, saying, "Look at those cheeks!  Don’t you just want to pinch them?"  "I want to have my own little baby with little cheeks to pinch," Jennifer says seriously, "I want to have forty-eight pictures of my own baby."  "Forty-nine if you count the double exposure," Balki points out, "Look, see where it’s like a car coming through his head?"

"Balki, you could help me have this baby," Jennifer states.  "Huh?" Balki asks worriedly.  "You could help little Robespierre Boinki have a little cousin to play with," Jennifer continues, "All you have to do is just tell me what Mary Anne did."  Balki thinks and answers, "After the coin toss we went for a helium balloon ride and then she wanted a corn dog, which I really don’t understand ‘cause it’s not corn and it’s not a dog.  What is it?"  Larry has re-entered the room carrying a plate with a Pop Tart on it. "Jennifer, are you still trying to figure out what Mary Anne did?" Larry asks as he sits beside her on the couch, "Because I don’t . . . "  "Balloon ride," Jennifer interrupts, "It makes perfect sense.  She went up in a balloon, the air pressure changed, she went into labor."  "Well, that is ridiculous," Larry argues, "A . . . a balloon ride couldn’t possibly have made Mary Anne go into labor."

"Cousin, it makes perfect sense," Balki counters, "It happens to Myposian astronauts all the time.  We have a birth on every shuttle.  Of course, they only go up as far as we can throw them but still the principle is exactly the same."  Balki grabs Jennifer by the arm and pulls her to the front door, exclaiming, "Come on, Jennifer!  Let’s go get little Robespierre Boinki a little cousin!"  "Wait . . . wait," Larry says quietly.  "Come on!" Balki continues, "We’ll put them in a crib, make them do the Dance of Joy . . . their little booties . . . "  "Hey!  Hey!  Now hold it, hold it, hold it!" Larry complains as he gets up to stop them, "What are . . . are you two out of your minds?  I . . . I am not gonna let my wife float hundreds of feet in the air in a . . . in a balloon."  "Cousin, it’s not hundreds of feet," Balki points out, "It’s just fifty feet up and it goes and . . . and there’s rope holding it to the ground.  You know, I bet . . . I bet we could see the hospital from it!  Maybe . . . maybe I could ask Mary Anne to take a picture of me from little Robespierre Boinki’s point of view!"

Balki turns and opens the front door then walks out.  "Come on, Larry, we have to get to the fair," Jennifer says.  She tries to leave but Larry holds her back.  "Now . . . now, sweetheart, listen . . . listen . . . " Larry urges, "I know you are not going to like this but I absolutely forbid you to go up in a balloon!"  After seeing Jennifer’s expression of cool anger, Larry adds timidly, "Now, is . . . is . . . is that gonna be a problem, sweetheart?"  "What do you think?" Jennifer asks.  After a moment, Larry answers, "I think we’re going for a balloon ride."  Larry motions for Jennifer to leave and follows her, when Balki appears in the doorway, pushing the photos of his baby in Jennifer’s face and asking, "You see them eyelashes?"  "Yes, they’re adorable," Jennifer nods as she pushes Balki out the door. " You see those . . . ?" Balki continues as they leave.

We next see an establishing shot of a fair grounds.  A large hot air balloon is located near the back of the fair.  A man with a large hammer is walking away from a strength test, passing the balloon as several other people walk by.  Jennifer hurries toward the balloon, calling behind her, "Will you guys please hurry up?"  Larry comes quickly after her, pulling Balki along by the arm.  "We’re coming, sweetheart!" Larry assures Jennifer.  As some people pass by, Balki breaks away from Larry and approaches them to show off his baby pictures.  "Look at my little boy’s little bottom . . . " Balki begins.  Larry runs back and grabs Balki and pulls him to the balloon ride.  But there is a sign in front of the ride saying, "Balloon ride closed."  "I don’t believe this," Jennifer complains, "The balloon is closed."  "Uh oh," Balki says, "Looks like Howard took the day off."  "Who’s Howard?" Jennifer asks.

"Well, he runs the balloon ride," Balki explains, "He’s also a wine connoisseur, philosopher and his thumbs are double-jointed.  They bend all the way back.  Mine won’t reach."  Balki is trying to bend his thumbs back without success.  "Sure they will," Larry argues, and he pushes Balki’s thumb back, causing Balki to cry, "Oh!" in pain.  "Okay," Larry says, "Now let’s . . . let’s just forget Howard.  Let’s go!"  "I’m not leaving here until I’ve gone up in this balloon!" Jennifer insists as she pulls the rope with flags on it cordoning off the area aside and runs to the balloon’s basket.  "Now . . . now . . . now where do we find this Howard person?" Jennifer asks.  Balki starts to answer but Larry interrupts, saying, "Sweetheart, we are in no condition to be running all over Chicago looking for some clown named Howard."  "Excuse me, Cousin, Howard is not the clown," Balki corrects, "Arthur is the clown.  He’s right over there, next to the fortune teller."  He calls out, "Arthur!  Arthur?  Cousin Larry needs to laugh!"  "Thank you . . . thank you," Larry tries to stop Balki.  Balki points toward Arthur and giggles.

"Here’s what we’re gonna do," Larry says, "We’re just gonna go home, get a good night’s rest and . . . and just be here bright and early tomorrow morning."  "That’s exactly what I would suggest," Balki agrees.  "Thank you," Larry smiles.  "If today didn’t happen to be the last day of the fair," Balki adds.  "Oh god!" Jennifer cries, "Oh god, I’m never gonna have this baby!  I’m never gonna have forty-eight pictures!  I’m never gonna have any chubby little cheeks to pinch!  I’m just gonna have this huge stomach for the rest of my life!"  "No, you won’t, Jennifer," Balki assures her, "I’ll take you up in the balloon myself."  "Oh, thank you, Balki!" Jennifer says gratefully, giving him a hug.  "No!  Hey now!" Larry argues, "Hey, let’s not get crazy!"  "It’s too late, Larry," Jennifer says coolly, "I am way past crazy.  I’m going up in this balloon with . . . or without you."  Jennifer starts to climb into the balloon’s basket.  "All right, all right!  Hold it, hold it, hold it!" Larry cries, stopping her.

Larry asks Balki, "Balki?  Balki, are . . . are you sure you can do this?"  "Well, of course I am!  Don’t be ridiculous," Balki says, "Just like the balloons we have on Mypos.  Only ours don’t have any air in them and they don’t have any baskets.  We call them drop cloths."  "Let’s get going," Jennifer says.  "All right, all right . . . wait, wait," Larry urges, "Let us help you in.  Here.  Come on, Balki.  Just, just . . . here we go . . . here we go . . . "  Larry and Balki lift Jennifer by the legs and hoist her up so she’s sitting on the edge of the basket with Larry holding her legs.  "All right, all right, I’ve got her," Larry says.  Balki has pulled out his baby pictures again and is showing one to them, saying, "I just got these two back . . . "  "Just get in," Larry orders, "Just get in and help her in the basket."  Finally Larry snarls, "Help her in the basket!"  Balki runs around to the back of the basket and climbs in so he is standing behind Jennifer.

"All right . . . all right . . . here we go . . . " Larry says.  Balki grabs Jennifer from over her stomach he and Larry lift her into the basket.  "All right, there you go.  Okay.  Good, good, good!" Larry says, not seeing that Balki has flipped her upside down and out of the other side of the basket.  Larry runs around to the side of the basket to get in as Jennifer comes around on the outside from the back.  "Good girl," Larry says, "Balki, help me in."  "Quick, quick, quick, quick," Balki encourages Larry.  Once Larry is in the basket he and Balki realize Jennifer is standing outside.  They turn around to look behind them to confirm that Jennifer is not in the basket.  "All right, wait there, sweetheart," Larry says, "Wait there!"  Balki and Larry climb out on opposite sides of the basket.  "Hang on!  Hang on, we . . . we’ll be right there," Larry says.  Jennifer boosts herself onto the edge of the basket and swings her legs inside as Larry and Balki run around to the front.  Now Jennifer is in the basket and Larry and Balki are standing outside.

"All right, come on," Larry sighs, and he and Balki run around to the sides of the balloon and climb in, fumbling as they topple over the sides.  "Oh, Larry!" Jennifer sighs as Larry’s legs get caught up in the flags around the balloon, "There we go.  Okay."  Jennifer helps Larry and Balki to their feet and now they are all standing inside the basket.  "Okay, now let’s see," Balki says as he look at the two ropes hanging over the edge, "Um . . . yeah . . . yeah, it’s all coming back to me now.  I was here, and, uh . . . and Howard was over there and . . . and the McNulty’s were back there and . . . and Mary Anne was right behind me.  And, uh . . . yeah, this, uh . . . this rope, eh . . . it lets you go up and that one brings you back down."  Larry looks over the side of the basket at the ropes.  "Nope, I think it’s this one," Larry argues, "See . . . see the way it’s tied down there?  This is clearly the one."  "Larry, are you sure you guys know what you’re doing?" Jennifer asks.  "Absolutely," Larry insists.  "Well, it’s obvious to anyone with a brain," Balki adds.  "This is the one," Larry and Balki both state, each pointing to their different rope.

"Cousin, I’m kinda sure it’s this one," Balki says.  "Kinda sure?" Larry asks skeptically, "Kinda sure?  Kinda sure isn’t gonna cut it.  Balki, I am positive it is this one."  Larry unties his rope as Balki simultaneously unties his rope and says, "No, I was in the basket, I know."  As they untie both ropes, the balloon starts to rise into the air.  A little girl runs over to watch the balloon as it goes up.  "Well, now you’ve done it!" Balki and Larry yell at each other at the same time, "You pulled the wrong rope!  Now we can’t get back down!"  The little girl waves goodbye to them as they go higher.  "Don’t worry, sweetheart, everything is under control," Larry assures Jennifer, "Balki, get this thing back down on the ground!"  "I can’t get back! I don’t know how it works!" Balki cries.  "Oh my god!" Jennifer cries, "The wind is picking up!  We’re staring to drift!"  A caption comes up which reads, "To Be Continued . . . " and the episode ends.

A series of outtakes were shown under the end credits.  It’s from the scene when Mary Anne and Balki are on the couch with the huge bear between them after coming home from the fair.  Rebeca, as Mary Anne, laughs as she’s saying, "Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut preserves . . . "  Rebeca and Bronson both laugh.  "Stop it!" Rebeca scolds Bronson.  Trying again, Rebeca gets out, "Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut preserves did . . . "  They both break down laughing again.  "I’m really sorry it didn’t win first prize," Rebeca blurts out quickly.  On another take, Rebeca says, "Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut . . . preserves didn’t . . . " before stumbling on the line.  She tries again and says, "Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut preserves . . . "  Bronson is laughing and Rebeca starts to giggle again.  Trying again, Rebeca says, "Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut preserves didn’t win first prize . . . " but again they laugh.  Rebeca plays with Bobo’s nose before trying again.  As Rebeca is about to try it again, Bronson looks at the camera and says, "We’ll be right back with a word from our sponsors!"  As the credits end, Rebeca tries again, "Balki, I’m sorry your boysenberry pig gut . . . " but it comes out strangely and she and Bronson look confused.

Script Variations:
There are a few differences between the shooting script dated August 18, 1992 and the episode which aired:
- In this version of the script, Larry was to head upstairs after throwing his jacket over Jennifer's head.
- Balki says, "No, it's not Balki's bedroom" in this script instead of "No, it's not my bedroom."
- After Mary Anne tells them that Balki is going to enter his boysenberry pig gut preserves in the jams and jellies contest, Balki adds, "This could be my year."
- After Mary Anne says, "We want to be first in line for the petting zoo before the animals get cranky," Balki adds, "Last time one of the baby camels nipped at her kneecaps."  "I hated that," Mary Anne says.
- After Mary Anne thanks Balki for winning Bobo for her, Balki says, "Well, when I saw they had a sheep-shearing competition, I knew the big bear was in the bag."
- When Mary Anne and Balki are looking at the note, and Mary Anne wonders who it's from, Balki says, "Oh for heaven's sake, Mary Anne.  Okay, it's on my stationery.  See, it says, 'From the knapsack of Balki Bartokomous.'  And whoever wrote it dotted their 'I's with little hearts like Jennifer.  Hmmm."  Then they realize it's from Jennifer.
- As Jennifer and Mary Anne are walking out the front door to go to the car, Jennifer says, "Mary Anne, if you get that big, redheaded nurse, don't pull her hair.  It's a wig."
- In this version of the script Balki was to sing to the Muzak while waiting on hold with the doctor's office.
- In this script Balki says the cow was chasing a ball instead of a salt lick.
- After finding out Mary Anne had his son in the car, Larry says they need to get them both to the hospital.  "Don't worry, Cousin, I'm fine," Balki assures him, "Everything is under control."  "Better take an umbrella," Larry notes, "It looks like rain."  This is when Balki passes out.
- The beginning of Act Two actually started with Balki, Jennifer and Larry entering through the front door and Balki looking through a stack of picture.  "I'm a Papa, I'm a Papa!" Balki says happily, "Cousin, just think, when my little boy grows up and says, 'Dad, do you want to play Boochie Tag?' or 'Dad, what's with the the silly accent?' he'll be talking to me, to me, to me!"  This is when Jennifer says he's been trying to figure out what caused Mary Anne to go into labor so early.
- When Balki asks Jennifer, off one of the photos, "Look at those cheeks.  Don't you just want to pinch them?", Jennifer says, "I do.  I really do."  "Go ahead, pinch them," Balki encourages, "Go ahead."  "But you know what else I want, Balki?" Jennifer asks, then she talks about wanting her own baby with cheeks to pinch, etc.
- In this script Larry does not bend Balki's thumb back and he simply says, "Well, so much for Howard.  Let's get out of here."
- After Balki tells Arthur the Clown that Larry needs to laugh, Larry laughs half-heartedly then adds, "Thanks, Arthur."
- At the end of the last scene, Balki comments, "Look, Cousin, I can see our house from here."

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