Nielsen Rating: 14.0 HH
PERFECT STRANGERS EPISODE GUIDE
EPISODE 14 - Can I Get a Witness?
First Air Date:
November 26, 1986
Nielsen Rating: 14.0 HH
Co-Producer:
James O’Keefe
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Bob Keyes
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Ernie Sabella: Mr. Donald Twinkacetti
Guest Cast:
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne
John Del Regno: Vince Lucas
James Gallery: Mr. Dunne, Defense Attorney
Ivan Bonar: Judge Francis T. Ceretto
Milt Oberman: Mr. O’Day, Prosecuting Attorney
Kopi Sotiropulos: Court Bailiff
Marianne Muellerleile: Police Woman #2
Dimitri
Appearances: Dimitri appears in three different places throughout this
episode. First he can be seen right behind Larry sitting on the cabinet just
outside the kitchen. Later he is sitting on the dining room table wearing a
prisoner’s hat with a ball and chain around his back right leg. This costume
can be seen even better at the end of the show when Dimitri, despite the ball
and chain on his leg, somehow managed to move to the couch.
Balki-isms:
"Gambling is just the tip of the ice cube."
"Lenny's a singing baseball player?"
"So . . .
these are the Halls of Justice. Where are the Halls of
Montezuma?
"The home of the free, the land of the Braves."
"We’re going to send you up the river without a poodle."
"Oh Cousin, you got modicum you don’t even know about!"
Don’t be ridiculous: Said twice in this episode.
Other catchphrases
used in this episode:
"Oh, go on with you!"
Balki's "Huh?"
"Wwoowwwww!"
Mary Anne's "Yay!"
Other running jokes used
in this episode:
Larry does his "shmuck laugh"
Balki and Larry wrestle with another, including nose and ear pulling
Larry answers one of Balki's questions incorrectly just to move on
Interesting facts:
- The title of this episode was the name of a 1963
Marvin Gaye song.
- This episode marks the first time we see Balki wearing his bullet hat.
- Balki says he stopped at the newsstand to pick up
the latest edition of Spiderman comics. Balki’s references to Spiderman
would decrease over the years but in these early episodes they were still fairly
common.
- This was the first episode in which Larry and
Balki were arrested. They would be incarcerated again twice . . . for
refusing to 
reveal their source on a news story in Prose and Cons and
when Larry is incorrectly identified as a robber in The Wedding.
-
Vince Lucas, played to perfection by the wonderful John Del Regno, was
the epitome of an underworld heavy. His role was so menacing and so
serious it made it even more funny when Vince returned to the series in the
season three episode The Pen Pal with a completely unexpected comic
twist!
- Balki’s comment about Judge Wapner referred to
the very popular show The People’s Court which ran, which Judge Joseph
Wapner presiding, from 1981 to 1993. A new incarnation of the show debuted
in 1997 and can still be seen on television today.
- If you look closely during the court scene,
you'll see that Vince's "secretaries" are in attendance, sitting
behind Vince in the gallery during the proceedings.
-
Marianne Muellerleile, who played Policewoman #2, also appeared in the season
six episode Grandpa as Athena, an enthusiastic patron in the Greek
restaurant. Fans of Bronson will probably know her best from his
short-lived CBS series The Trouble with Larry in which she appeared in
practically every episode as a Margaret Dumont-type character. She also
made an appearance in the pilot episode of Bronson's 1997 CBS series, Meego.
You can visit her fabulous and very thorough official website by clicking here!
- The first policewoman is
now also very
familiar to us . . . she is the same extra who keeps showing up in the
background throughout the series! This is her most notable appearance to
date, yet without a speaking part she is still uncredited and her identity
remains, as yet, unknown.
- Sadly, two of the character actors in this
episode have left us. Actor James Gallery who played the seedy defense
attorney Mr. Dunne, passed away in 2001. Veteran actor Ivan Bonar, who
played Judge Ceretto, passed away in 1988.
-
Playing the bailiff in this episode is Kopi Sotiropulos, who is currently a
weatherman for KMPH Fox channel 26 in the central San Joaquin Valley in
California! You can read his biography by clicking here
(check the "Meet the Team" page under "About Us" for a very
funny video interview with him as well!)
- This episode marks the first time Larry does his
"Jose Vasquez" voice when he talks to the airline to cancel the
flights he booked out of the country. In future scripts, the writers would
put "a la Jose Vasquez" whenever they wanted Mark to affect a Mexican
accent.
Bloopers and Inconsistencies:
- When Vince kicks in their door, he breaks the
door jam but the door remains on its hinges. So why is the door later
completely off its hinges?
Synopsis:
The
episode begins with Larry sorting through his record album collection, which is
in disarray. "Look at this . . . Balki!" Larry sighs,
"They're all in the wrong jackets. Wayne Newton is in Juice Newton’s
jacket. There's no telling where Olivia Newton-John is." He checks
the album and sleeve in his hand. "Elton John," he sighs.
Balki enters excitedly, wearing a heavy coat and his bullet hat and carrying a paper
sack. "Cousin? Something wonderful happened to me on the way
home!" "Don’t tell me," Larry interrupts, eyeing the hat,
"You found work as a human cannonball." "No, you big
kidder," Balki continues, "I stopped by the newsstand to pick up the
latest edition of Spiderman comics and a nice man there offered me a delivery
job." "A job? You already have a job," Larry points
out. "Yes, so now we're a three income family," Balki
says. "Right," Larry agrees. Balki removes his bullet hat
and reaches into the paper bag. "So, Cousin, with my first day's pay
. . . I buy you this." He hands Larry a package wrapped in brown
paper.
"Oh, well, Balki, I . . . I don't
know what to say," Larry says, sincerely touched as he walks to the couch
to open it, "Oh, well . . . " 
He removes a strange-looking
contraption from the wrapped box. "Oh, this is, uh . . . this is, uh
. . . what is this?" "It's a po-tah-to clock," Balki
explains. "A potato clock?" Larry asks. "Yes, you
stick this into a potato and it runs off potato power," Balki explains,
holding a potato for Larry to use. "Well, Balki, thank you but . . .
really, you shouldn't have," Larry says. "Oh, go on with you!"
Balki says, taking Larry's comment as a compliment. "No, no . . . I mean it," Larry says
seriously. "Don't you worry your curly little head about that,"
Balki says, getting up from the couch to hang up his coat, "I'm
loaded. Vince give me fifty dollars." "Fifty
dollars?" Larry asks with surprise, then adds, "Who is
Vince?" "Vince
is the man who sits in the limousine parked outside the newsstand all the
time," Balki explains, returning to the couch, "He give me the money
and he says to me that there's plenty more where that come from and then he does
this with his eye." Balki winks at Larry slowly, then looks
tickled. "He
likes Balki."
"I'll bet he does," Larry
agrees, then asks, "You took a job from a man whose office is a
car?" "Yes!" Balki answers, "And he’s doing pretty good. He has two secretaries in the back
seat!" "What exactly do you do for this Vince?" Larry
asks. "Well, I take a package from him and I deliver it to his uncle
downtown," Balki answers, "but it's not so simple as it sounds.
Vince says that someone might follow me, so I must never walk the same way
twice. So, today, I walk like this." Balki gets up and walks
across the room normally. "And tomorrow I'm gonna walk like
this." Balki returns, gyrating his pelvis as he walks.
"Interesting," Larry hums, then he motions for Balki to return to the
couch. "Balki . . . Vince is a crook. You are obviously
involved in something illegal." "Cousin, delivering a package is
illegal?" Balki asks in disbelief.
"Well, it could be depending on
what's in it," Larry explains. Balki looks intrigued and asks,
"What's in it?" "I don't know!" Larry cries with
frustration. "Well, then how do you know it's illegal?" Balki
asks. "Because the package belongs to a man who works out of a car
with secretaries in the back seat," Larry points out. "So?"
Balki asks. "They are not
secretaries," Larry says bluntly. "What is your point?"
Balki asks. "Well, the point is you never look before you leap, which
is why you get into these messes and I have to bail you out," Larry
complains. Balki turns his head away, looking indignant. "Now
when is your next delivery?" Larry asks. "I'm not telling
you," Balki pouts. "When is your next delivery?" Larry
insists. "Tomorrow at lunch," Balki admits. "Well,
I'm going with you," Larry states. "Well, okay," Balki
agrees.
The next day Larry enters the
Ritz Discount Store quickly, carrying a rolled up brown paper bag. Balki
is close behind him, 
protesting. "Cousin, I told you, I don't have
time to stop here! I have to make a delivery!" Larry sets the
package on an empty table. "There's plenty of time for
that." "Cousin, no! Vince told me not to stop. I
have to deliver this package!" "We have to find out what's
inside it," Larry explains, "You could be smuggling drugs!"
"Cousin, we can't open it," Balki argues, "Vince told me not
to." "That's exactly why we have to open it," Larry
says, reaching down to undo the brown paper. Balki tries to grab it,
saying, "No." Larry pulls it away from him, saying, "Balki,"
and looking at him seriously. "Give me that package!" Balki
insists. "No," Larry repeats, putting the package down on the
table again, "Now we're going to open it." Balki snatches the
package from Larry. "No, Balki, give me that package!"
"N - O, No!" Balki says seriously. "Give me that
package!" Larry insists. "Can'tcha spell?" Balki
asks. Larry softens his voice, beginning, "Just try to . . .
" He makes a grab for the package but Balki holds tight onto it.
As they wrestle over the package, Balki
grabs Larry's nose. "Oh, oh, all right!" Larry counters,
grabbing Balki's ear. They roll 
over onto the table where they continues
to wrestle. Mr. Twinkacetti comes out of his office and heads for the
front door, saying, "I'm going to lunch," but otherwise ignoring them
completely as he leaves. In the midst of their wrestling bout, the package
rips open and bundles of money fall out. "Look at all the money!"
Balki gasps, "Poor Vince must have given me the wrong
package!" "Oh yes, I know how that can be," Larry says,
"I’m constantly misplacing thousands of dollars." They gather
up the bundles of cash and Larry also finds a little stack of papers tied with a
rubber band. "Balki . . . Vince is running numbers." "Well
of course he is, don’t be ridiculous," Balki responds, "And
you thought he was doing something illegal!" "It’s illegal
gambling!" Larry explains, "It’s a crime. They send
people to prison for that. And you’re involved!" "But
Cousin, if I'm a criminal they won't let me become a citizen," Balki
realizes, "What I'm going to do?" "All right, don't
panic," Larry says, "The first thing to do is tape up this
package. Get some tape."
Balki turns and walks to the Scotch tape
dispenser on the counter, pulling the tape over to them in a long string and
leaving the dispenser on the counter. They both start tearing off pieces
as Larry fumbles to tape the bag back together. "We're gonna have 
to
take this back to Vince and give him back his fifty dollars," Larry
explains. Two women walk into the store and approach them. "All
right, first we're gonna have to take care of these customers," Larry
says. They turn to the women but they're still tangled up in the
tape. "Uh, may we help you?" Larry asks. "I think
so," the taller woman says, holding out a badge, "Police. We’ve been following you for a
half hour. You two are under arrest." "What?" Larry
asks in shock. "Spread 'em!" the policewoman orders. The
other policewoman pushes Larry to the table and pats him down, then does the
same to Balki, who laughs and jiggles because she is inadvertently tickling
him. Their hands are then cuffed behind their backs. "Are we in
trouble?" Balki asks. "Yes . . . yes, we're in trouble!"
Larry confirms. The policewoman starts reading them their Miranda
rights. "You have the right to remain silent. If you give up
that right anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law .
. . . "
Later that night in the apartment,
Jennifer and Mary Anne are with them. Jennifer is sitting on the couch
with Larry and Mary 
Anne is in the kitchen with Balki. "Thank you for
picking us up at the police station," Larry says to Jennifer.
"We were so worried about you," Jennifer offers. "Well, it
was pretty grim," Larry admits, "and they grilled us for hours under
those lights." "Cousin, they grilled me. You
fainted," Balki reminds him. Larry tries to save face by explaining,
"Well, it was hot under those lights." "Well, I'm glad they
believed you were innocent," Jennifer says, "What did they do about
Vince?" "Well, thanks to yours truly Vince was arrested,"
Larry explains, "The police practically begged us to testify at his
arraignment tomorrow." Mary Anne carries a tray of drinks over and
sets them on the coffee table. Balki sits on the chair to the right of the
couch and Mary Anne sits next to him. "We are
part of 'the State vs. Vince Lucas,'" Balki explains, "The police says
that he's involved in all kinds of illegal things. Gambling is just he tip
of the ice cube."
"You know, I think he's the same jerk
that was bothering Mary Anne and me," Jennifer says. "Why do
people let him get away with 
such things?" Mary Anne asks.
"Well, I guess they're afraid," Larry speculates, "Most people
just don't have the guts to get involved." "But we do,"
Balki says, "It's . . . it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do
it." Mary Anne looks at Balki with awe. "I just love it
when you talk like that," she says. She gives him a quick kiss on the
cheek. Balki is speechless. Larry looks at Jennifer hopefully and
sidles up to her, lowering his voice into macho range. "Yeah, well .
. . a man's gotta do what a man's got to do." Jennifer realizes what
Larry wants and looks uncomfortable. "Uh, we'd better let you get
some rest," she smiles, "You have a big day in court
tomorrow." "Well, I'm not tired," Larry assures her.
"We'll, uh, see you down at, uh . . . the courthouse tomorrow,"
Jennifer promises, getting up from the couch. She heads for the door with
Mary Anne following. Mary Anne pauses before closing the door and says,
"Good night, Balki!" Balki motions to her and she leaves.
After a moment, Balki asks Larry point
blank, "You struck out, huh?" "Well, you know we're going
to be doing a good thing for the community by putting Vince away," Larry
points out. There is a knock at the door. "I'll get it,"
Larry says, "Jennifer probably wants to tell me how proud she is of me . .
. in private." Larry and Balki share a knowing look before Larry
saunters to the door and opens it. A man wearing a long, black coat is standing
there; small in
stature but imposing all the same. Larry immediately slams the door shut
on him, and turns to Balki, crying "Oh my God! It’s Vince!"
"Well, he probably just wants to apologize for getting us in trouble,"
Balki says, walking over to Larry. "Open the door!" Vince demands from outside.
"Uh . . . this is not a good time," Larry calls through the door,
"Uh, uh . . . the place is a mess. If you had called first . . .
" Vince kicks in the door, breaking the door frame. He steps
inside the apartment, looking very serious.
"Vince! Hi! Come on in!" Larry
says nervously, "Our door’s always
open." "Especially now," Balki observes. "Oh,
Balki, look . . . it's Vince," Larry babbles, "Oh hey, heard you got
busted. Us, too. You get a smart lawyer he'll get you off. You
won't do a dime's worth of time. You'll walk . . . yeah . . . walk . . .
" "Can I talk now?" Vince asks. "Sure,"
Larry nods timidly. "I once had a guy named Lenny who delivered packages for
me. He decided to sing. Now . . . Lenny’s with the
angels." "Lenny’s a singing baseball player?" Balki asks
in confusion. "Let me try again," Vince continues, "Testify tomorrow and you’ll be holding your breath forever, you got
it?" "Got it!" Larry says immediately. "I don’t
got it," Balki says, still confused, "If you hold your breath
forever you . . . . " His eyes open wide with apprehension.
"Got it." Vince walks out the door, leaving the cousins worrying over his threat.
Act two begins with an establishing shot
of the Cook County Criminal Court House. Balki and Larry enter the courtroom where
Vince’s
arraignment is to take place. Balki is impressed. "So . . .
these are the Halls of Justice. Where are the Halls of
Montezuma?" "They’re in another building," Larry answers
glibly. The State’s prosecuting attorney, Mr. O’Day, enters behind
them. "Boy, am I glad you guys showed up," he sighs, "My
case is falling apart. Seven of the witnesses suddenly got
amnesia." "Well, you've still got the eighth, don't you?"
Larry asks worriedly. "The
eighth . . . can’t find him at all." "Wha . . . what do you
mean, 'can't find?'" Larry asks. "He just disappeared. Go
figure!" Mr. O'Day walks to his table. Vince is sitting at the
opposite table, giving Larry a very knowing look. "Balki, there are
no other witnesses. Just us," Larry points out. "Cousin,
there's nothing to worry about," Balki assures him. "Nothing to
worry about?" Larry asks incredulously, "One of the witnesses
disappeared!" "We have the whole legal system behind us,"
Balki notes.
Jennifer and Mary Anne enter the
courtroom. "Hi, Balki. Larry," Jennifer smiles, "This
is so exciting!" "Yes, isn't it?" Balki asks. 
"Well, break a leg!" Mary Anne offers as they girls go to sit in the
gallery. Larry's eyes open wide at this statement. "Balki . . .
we can't testify," Larry states. "What?" Balki asks in
disbelief, "Whatever happened to 'A man's gotta do what a man's gotta
do?'" "No, no," Larry shakes his head, "See, you don't
understand. If we testify against this man . . . he's going to kill
us." "Cousin, we have to go over there and say what we
know," Balki insists, "It's the right thing to do." "I
know it's the right thing to do but we can't do it," Larry insists, "I
mean, it's not like we're taking a big bite out of crime. I mean, if we
testify maybe we'll put away one small-time criminal but someone else will just
take his place. It's not worth dying for." Larry turns and
tries to get Mr. O'Day's attention discreetly, going, "Psst! Psst!"
Mr. O'Day is the last person in the vicinity who turns to look at Larry.
Larry motions for the man to come over to them, which he does. "Uh,
Mr. O'Day, we . . . we've been thinking and we're not sure that we can identify
the man," Larry reaches, "I mean, it was awfully dark."
"It was noon," Mr. O'Day points out.
"Right, right," Larry agrees,
"I don't know how to say this, uh but . . . " "You've been
thinking it over and you've decided not to testify?" Mr. O'Day
surmises. "Well, only in the legal sense," Larry says. "There goes my case,"
Mr. O'Day sighs, returning to his 
table. The bailiff enters the courtroom
and announces, "All rise!" as the judge enters, "This hearing is
now in session. The honorable Francis T. Ceretto presiding."
"Oh," Balki says with disappointment, "I was hoping for Judge
Wapner." Larry tries to lead Balki from the courtroom but Balki stays
put. Mr. O'Day approaches the bench. "Uh, Your Honor, I'm, uh,
sorry to say the State has suffered a minor setback. We have no
witnesses." "I'd call that a setback," Judge Ceretto nods,
"Well, if there are no witnesses, there's no case. So I'm going to .
. . . " "Please! Please!" Balki calls from the back
of the courtroom where Larry is trying to pull him out the door, "I . . . I
am a witness." "Ah, no
no," Larry says, "He misunderstood. He’s not a witness
witness, he's a . . . Jehovah’s Witness." Larry speaks to Balki
seriously, saying, "You can't do this!" "Cousin, I have to
do this," Balki explains, "Vince used me. My honor is at
stake. My honor. You don’t mess around with a Mypiot’s honor."
Mr. O'Day returns to his table, stating,
"Your Honor, the State would like to call Balki Bartokomous."
Vince reaches over and opens the gate for Balki to walk through. Larry
takes a seat in the gallery as Balki sits down next to Mr. O'Day at the 
prosecution's table where a microphone is set up. Balki starts doing a
sound check into the microphone. "Uh one, uh two, uh one, two, three,
four . . . " Mr. O'Day covers the microphone with his hand and tells
Balki, "Mr. Bartokomous, you're supposed to sit up there."
"Really?" Balki asks. "Yes." "Right next to
the judge?" Balki asks. "Yes," Mr. O'Day nods. "Wwowww!"
Balki says quietly, getting up and walking toward the bench. Balki steps
into the witness box but continues to stand, addressing the judge.
"Hi," Balki smiles. The judge nods at him. "Nice
robes," Balki adds. "Please, uh . . . sit down," Judge
Ceretto encourages him. Balki sits in the witness' chair as the bailiff
brings him the Bible. "Raise your right hand," the bailiff
instructs, which Balki does. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the
whole truth and nothing but the truth?" the bailiff asks. "Well, of course I do, don’t be
ridiculous!" Balki insists.
Some time later, Balki is finishing up a
long-winded version of events. " . . . then after Vince kicked down
our door and threatened us, I went to sleep because I said to myself, I said, 'Balki,
you should go to sleep because tomorrow you're going to have to go to 
court and
testify and you don't want to have those big black circles under your
eyes.' Like, my Cousin Larry make breakfast and, Cousin, you know when you
leave the eggs in the pan too long and they get all black around the edges and I
have to say, 'Gotta go pour the Froot Loops!'" . . . "
"Your Honor!" Mr. Dunne, the defense attorney, cries desperately.
"Sustained, sustained," Judge Ceretto taps his gavel, "Mr.
Dunne." Mr. Dunne gets up from his table, saying, "Thank you,
Your Honor." He approaches Balki. "Mr. Bartokomous . . . I
think it's rather obvious that you're an immigrant, so let's stop beating around
the bush. Why did you come to America?" "Oh, because when
I am a little small boy I dream to come to America," Balki answers,
"the land of the free, the home of the Braves . . . and my dream was to travel all over this land . . .
from California to the New York Island . . . from the redwood forest to the gulf
stream water. This land was made for you . . . and me." He
pauses a moment, then begins with "And if I had a hammer . . . . "
"I see!" Mr. Dunne cries with
exasperation, "Yes, America, a land of beauty, a land of freedom, a land of
. . . opportunity?" "Yes!" 
Balki smiles, "It's a
wonderful country." "So you came to get rich, didn't you?"
Mr. Dunne asks directly. "No," Balki replies. "Just
answer the question," Mr. Dunne barks. "I did," Balki
responds. "Ha! So you admit you came here to get rich!"
Mr. Dunne insists. Balki is getting flustered, answering quietly.
"N . . . no." "Which is it? Yes or no?" Mr.
Dunne asks. Larry jumps to his feet and shouts, "I object!
That's badgering an immigrant!" "You can't object!" the
judge proclaims, then he asks Balki, "Eh, who is this person?"
"That's Cousin Larry," Balki smiles. "Cousin Larry . . .
sit down," Judge Ceretto orders. Mr. O'Day motions for Larry to sit,
which Larry does. Mr. Dunne continues, "I submit to the court that
this Balki Bartokomous . . . is that a Russian name?" "No, it's
Myposian," Balki explains. "I'll bet," Mr. Dunne scoffs,
"I submit that Mr. Bartokomous came to this country with good intentions
but when he discovered that Americans in fact work for a living, he decided to
take an easier route. And that's when he attempted to recruit my client to
join him in his heinous plan, illegal gambling!"
Larry jumps back to his feet and cries,
"Objection! Balki is being abused by this . . . this . . . ambulance
chaser!" "Your Honor!" 
Mr. Dunne cries. "Young
man, you are in contempt!" the judge states. "Well, I don't
care!" Larry insists. "Well now, if you keep this up I'll have
to put you in jail," Judge Ceretto adds. "Okay," Larry says
meekly and he sits back down. "Your Honor, the defense moves that the
charges in this case be dismissed," Mr. Dunne concludes. "Mr.
O'Day, unless there are any other witnesses to substantiate Mr. Bartokomous'
testimony, I am afraid I am going to have to dismiss the charges," Judge
Ceretto notes. Balki gets to his feet and asks the judge, "How can
you do that? He's a bad man and . . . and you have to take him away
because the good people have to be safe. How can this happen in
America?" "It happens," Judge Ceretto answers
solemnly. Balki sits back down, looking devastated.
"Well, I have no choice but to
release the defendant," Judge Ceretto states. "Well, now wait a
minute," Larry says, getting to his 
feet again, "That
. . . that's it? You’re gonna
just let him go? Your Honor, guys like Vince are allowed to walk the
streets because people like me are afraid to testify against them, while this
man, who’s not even an American yet, is . . . is up there risking his life to do what’s
right. Well, I . . . I’m ashamed of myself." "Uh, Cousin
Larry . . . is this rambling taking us anyplace?" Judge Ceretto asks.
"Yes, it is," Larry says, "I can back up everything this man
said. I wanna testify." The courtroom audience applauds and
Mary Anne yells, "Yay!" As Larry approaches the gates, Vince
stands up and says, "You’re making a big
mistake!" "My life is full of big mistakes!" Larry replies. Larry
walks up to the witness stand next to Balki. "You can threaten us all
you want but we're still gonna testify. And if
there’s any justice in this world we’re gonna put you away."
"We’re gonna send you up the river without a poodle," Balki adds.
The courtroom bursts into applause again and Judge Ceretto bangs his gavel to
restore order.
That night we see the darkened apartment
and hear a key in the front door lock. A moment later the door falls
inward and 
crashes to the floor. "We’re gonna have
to get that fixed," Balki notes. "Right," Larry
agrees. They enter and Larry flips on the light. Together they lift
the door back up so that it's leaning against the door frame. "Balki,
I don't believe it," Larry begins. Balki reaches over and puts the
chain on the door. "I saw a side of myself today that I never saw
before," Larry continues. "Cousin, I saw that side,
too," Balki nods, "It wasn’t pretty." "Do you
mind?" Larry asks, "I'm . . . I'm trying to resurrect a modicum of
dignity here." "Oh Cousin, you
got modicum you don’t even know about," Balki assures him, "It
just took a while to get past all that fear." Larry gets two sodas
out of the fridge. "Yeah, well . . . sorry I almost let you
down." "Cousin, you don't have to apologize to me," Balki
assures him, "When it really counted you came through. And I should
thank you. Thank you." They sit on the back of the
couch.
"Well, the important thing is because
of you Vince is out of business for a long, long time," Larry points
out. "I hope his 
secretaries get work," Balki sighs.
"You know, buddy, I fell apart a little in court today but deep down inside
. . . I knew things would work out," Larry says, "When guys threaten
you like that, you gotta show 'em who's boss. You gotta show 'em they
can't make you run and hide. Huh? Huh?" The phone rings
and Balki gets up to answer it as Larry sits, laughing to himself bravely.
"Hello?" Balki says into the receiver, "Just . . . just a
minute." Balki addresses Larry. "Cousin, it's someone who
wants to confirm two plan reservations to Buenos Aires." Larry gets
up and takes the receiver, saying, "I'll take this." Larry
pauses, then lifts the receiver to his ear and speaks with a Mexican
accent. "This is Jose Vasquez. No, no, I won’t be needing those
tickets. Yeah. Via con dios to you, too." Larry hangs up
the phone and resumes his macho braggadocio. "You gotta show ‘em on
which side of the fence you’re gonna stand. You gotta show ‘em they
can’t push you around. You gotta take a stand. You’re not buying
this, are you?" "No way, Jose!" Balki says.
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