Perfect Strangers Episode Guide

EPISODE 139 - The Play's the Thing

First Air Date: March 21, 1992
Filming Date: December 13, 1991
Nielsen Rating: 6.1 HH

Produced by: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: Thomas R. Nance
Directed by: Judy Pioli

Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Rebeca Arthur: Mary Anne Spencer
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Appleton
Belita Moreno: Lydia Markham

Guest Cast:
Patrick Cupo: Trevor McNeil
Robert Gary Lee: Brad Oliver

Dimitri Appearances: Dimitri’s photo can be seen on the mantel of the fireplace.

Balki-isms:
"Feed a cold, starve an actor?"
"So that’s why they called you Stubby!"

Don’t be ridiculous: Not said in this episode.

Other catchphrases used in this episode:
There are no other catchphrases in this episode.

Other running jokes used in this episode:
A joke is made about Larry’s height
Larry makes several suggestions about something even though Balki is repeatedly telling him the answer
Balki grabs Larry by the shirt
Larry has a plan

Interesting facts:
- The title is derived from the classic Shakespeare play, Hamlet, in which Hamlet says the line, "I’ll have grounds; More relative than this-- the play’s the thing; Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the King."
- Larry has always had a habit of pronouncing words which begin with a ‘W’ with a whispy sound, but never has it been more evident than when he pronounced the word "wheat" in this episode.
- The woman who was always seen working in the background of the Chronicle basement can be seen as one of the actors in this episode.  But she would have her biggest appearance yet, and even a spoken line, in the following episode!
- Robert Gary Lee was hilarious as Brad in this episode.  The resident warm-up comic at the filmings of the show, Robert had previously appeared as the tongue-tied delivery man who always managed to mangle Balki (and even Larry’s) name!  Robert would have another notable appearance in a later episode this season.  You can visit his official website by clicking here.
- The scripts for Larry’s play, ‘Wheat,’ were bound in the same yellow cover paper as the scripts for Perfect Strangers were.
- Larry obviously still has issues with his brother, Billy, since he portrays Billy in such a vicious way in his play!
- Lydia is struck dumb by stage fright in this episode, which is very much in character for her.  As you’ll recall, she previously displayed a mortal fear of cameras, so she obviously doesn’t like to be stared at.  It’s a shame she didn’t remember the technique she learned to talk using her hand . . . it certainly couldn’t have hurt the play any!
- Actor Patrick Cupo was likewise hilarious and smarmy in his role as the director, Trevor.  Patrick had previously made appearances on the series Cagney and Lacey, Who’s the Boss? and Valerie, and would go on to appear on Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Criminal Minds.  He has also worked in Hollywood as a writer and a producer.

Synopsis:
The episode begins at the house one evening.  Larry is sitting on the couch in the living room, reading a newspaper.  Balki runs in saying excitedly, "Cousin . . . Cousin . . . Cousin . . . "  He stoops down next to the couch, holding a rolled up sheet of paper.  " . . . I’ve got some amazing news.  You’d better sit down."  "I am sitting," Larry points out.  "Well, then stand up," Balki suggests.  They both stand up.  "All right, now sit down," Balki says.  Larry sits down and Balki kneels beside him again.  "I have been waiting and waiting to find just the right time to tell you," Balki begins, "Do you know how Miss Lydia is always wanting exciting new scripts for her theater group?"  "Oh . . . oh, don’t tell me you gave Lydia my play!" Larry cries in an unhappy tone.  "Okay, I won’t tell you but then I won’t have any news," Balki says, stunned at being cut short.  Balki gets up and walks past Larry to sit on the couch, asking, "You wanna make popcorn or . . . "

"Balki, I can’t believe you gave her my script without my permission," Larry moans as he stands up, "My play, ‘Wheat,’ is still a work in progress.  Oh, I’ll be humiliated!  The theater group will hate it!  I . . . I’ll be a laughing stock!"  Balki stands up, unrolling the paper to show Larry a poster for the play, "Cousin, um . . . it opens on Friday . . . they’ve been rehearsing for weeks . . . everyone loves it!"  "Well, of course they love it, it’s a brilliant piece of writing," Larry recovers quickly.  Larry takes the poster to gaze at it in amazement.  "Well, Cousin, I’ve never actually read it but as the author you’ll be particularly pleased to know that the stage is brilliantly managed by me.  I’m the stage manager!"  Balki points to the poster to point out his name, then stops and realizes in despair, "They forgot my name!"  Larry pulls the poster away and Balki continues, "My duties include opening and closing the curtain.  I’ve been practicing in the shower all week."

We see the exterior of a recreation center with the caption "The Next Night."  Balki leads Larry in through a side door and onto the stage, saying, "Cousin, Cousin, come on.  I’m gonna give you . . . I’ve gonna give you a complete tour of the theater."  They stop in the center of the stage where several actors are standing or sitting in the background.  "Now this . . . is the stage," Balki explains.  Balki then takes Larry down the steps to the audience seats and continues, "And . . . and these . . . these . . . are the chairs.  And that’s . . . just about it."  Lydia enters through the side door and says, "Oh hi, Larry!  I love your play!  I bet you were really excited when Balki told you we’re doing it."  "I sure was!" Larry smiles, "You know, the play is, uh, somewhat autobiographical.  I based the character of Lawrence on, well . . . me."  "Well, despite that opening night’s already sold out!" Lydia informs them, then she hurries away.

Two men walk on stage.  "Cousin!  Cousin, Cousin, look!" Balki directs Larry’s attention to the men, "Look.  See them two guys?  The guy on the left, he’s the director, Trevor McNeil, and the guy on the right is the star of the show, Brad Oliver.  You’ve seen him before!"  "I have?" Larry asks, impressed.  "Yes!" Balki smiles, "Last week at Little Tony’s Pasta Palace.  He was our waiter."  Larry looks less impressed.  Trevor directs Brad, saying, "Okay, in this scene your brother Billy erupts in a fit of anger.  Now Brad, your character of Lawrence is . . . is basically a buffoon.  So your underlying motivation is . . . ?"  "Bu . . . buffoonery?" Brad guesses.  "Bravo, Brad!" the director compliments him.  "Thanks, Trevor," Brad smiles, "I’m depending on your guidance to help make this Lawrence character a complete bonehead."  Larry hears this and his mouth drops open.  "Good, good," Trevor replies, "And look, don’t let the words get in your way.  We can always change them later, huh?"

"Ho . . . ho . . . whoa, whoa, no!" Larry walks on stage to protest, "No . . . no no . . . no, you . . . you can’t change the words.  The words are sacred."  "Who are you?" Trevor asks.  "I’m Larry Appleton, the author of ‘Wheat.’  And ‘Wheat’ is perfect as it is.  Every word is in its proper place."  Trevor and Brad share a knowing look and nod.  "Oh," Trevor smirks, "I see what’s going on here.  This is your first play and you think you’ve written a masterpiece.  Well, I’ll tell you what . . . if you work real hard maybe someday you’ll have a career writing game show questions, huh?"  Balki steps forward to defend Larry, saying, "Excuse me . . . excuse me . . . just a minute.  Cousin Larry happens to be a published writer.  He fills in the bubbles for the cartoon ‘Dimitri’s World.’"  "Ooh, that’s very impressive," Trevor says sarcastically, "Now be a good little playwright and get off my stage."  "You, sir, are theatrically illiterate!" Larry counters, "I . . . I . . . I bet you thought ‘The King and I’ was the story of Elvis and Priscilla!"  "You mean it’s not?" Balki asks.

"I don’t need this aggravation, huh?" Trevor states, "I don’t need this play!  I quit!"  Trevor throws his script down on the stage and storms off.  Larry picks up the script and looks shocked, then decides, "Well . . . good!  Who needs him?"  "I do!" Brad answers, "He’s my ride!  I quit!"  Brad throws his script down and walks off.  Larry picks up the second script and asks the players, "Well . . . well . . . well, you still want to put on this play, don’t you?"  The actors all throw down their scripts and walk off the stage.  "Boy, I’m guessing Trevor has a van," Balki speculates.  Lydia enters through the side door and runs onto the stage, scolding, "Larry, I just ran into Trevor in the hall!  I cannot believe that you made him quit!"  "Well, so you’ll get another director," Larry says, "And . . . and some more actors.  You can open in a couple months."

Balki looks excited and says, "You know, that . . . that would really help me out a lot.  It . . . it would give me time to perfect my curtain-closing.  Every time I practice in the shower someone’s in it and they scream and ruin my timing."  "Well, I suppose we could postpone but I . . . I don’t know if Clive Rich will be available in two months," Lydia states.  "Clive Rich?" Larry asks, "Clive Rich?  The Clive Rich was going to review my play?"  "He was going to be here on opening night but now I’ll just have to call him and tell him it’s off," Lydia sighs.  She starts to walk away but Larry stops her.  "No, wait, Lydia!  Don’t call anyone.  You . . . you know the old show business saying . . . "  "Feed a cold, starve an actor?" Balki guesses.  "No, it’s ‘The show must go on,’" Larry corrects, "And it will.  I will be the director and I, Larry Appleton, will star in ‘Wheat.’"

The next day we again see the recreation center and the caption, "The Rehearsal."  Larry runs in through the side door with a sweater over his shoulders and a stack of scripts in his hand, which he hurries up to the stage where Balki, Jennifer, Mary Anne and Lydia are waiting.  "All right!  All right, everybody!" Larry calls, "People!  People!  Gather ‘round!  Here we go . . . okay."  Larry sets the scripts on a table set in the middle of the stage.  "I know it’s only a few days until we open but I’ve been up all night rewriting ‘Wheat’ so that the five of us can handle it.  All right, now I will play Lawrence, the lead role and narrator."  He sets a script aside for himself.  "Balki, you will be my brother Billy," Larry says, handing Balki a script, then he hands out the other parts, saying, "Jennifer . . . Lois.  Mary Anne . . . Bobbi Sue.  And Lydia . . . the Apple Lady."  "Larry, we have never acted," Lydia points out, "We’re gonna make fools of ourselves."

"The only thing I ever acted in was the sixth grade hygiene pageant," Mary Anne agrees, "I played Little Miss Gingivitis."  "There is nothing to worry about," Larry assures them, "I will guide you through.  I know everything there is to know about the theater.  In college I was the head ticket taker."  "So that’s why they called you Stubby," Balki deduces.  Jennifer is looking at her script and says coolly, "Larry . . . I just read the description of Lois.  And when we get through this we’re going to have a nice, long discussion about why you think your wife should play your mother."  "W . . . w . . . w . . . we’ll talk about it later," Larry quickly changes the subject, "Why don’t you go with Lydia and Mary Anne, learn the lines for the wheatfield scene and Balki and I will start rehearsal on stage."  As the girls walk off stage, Mary Anne is looking at her script and notes, "At least in this play I won’t be washed off the stage by a giant Waterpik."  She exits.

"Cousin, um . . . I have two small problems," Balki begins, "I’ll give you the big one first.  If I play your brother Billy, how . . . how am I still gonna be able to pull the curtain?  I’ve got a lot of time invested in that."  "You can still pull the curtain," Larry assures him.  "Really?" Balki smiles happily.  "Yes," Larry says, "Now what’s your second problem?"  "I don’t think I can play your brother Billy," Balki sighs, throwing his script onto the table.  "Why not?" Larry asks with surprise.  "Well, because Billy in the script is a mean, angry person and I don’t think I can be someone mean and angry," Balki explains, "It’s too different from what I am.  So, um . . . I was thinking . . . maybe if Billy was an immigrant mail boy who now draws a cartoon . . . I think I could get that."  Larry leads Balki around the table and explains, "Balki, you don’t have to be a mean person to act a mean character in a play.  See, you just . . . you just have to think of a mean person and then you become that person.  You think of a mean person, then you become that person.  So just . . . just think of somebody who is really mean."

Balki thinks for a moment then sighs, "I don’t know anyone really mean."  "Sure you do," Larry says, "Uh . . . wait . . . oh wait, you were always telling me back on Mypos there . . . there was a bully.  Used to always steal your lunch when you were going over Goat Water Bridge to get to school?  Uh . . . Brunos."  "I can’t talk about that, Cousin," Balki insists, moving away to the back of the stage, "I . . . I . . . I still get nightmares."  "No, that’s all right . . . all right," Larry assures him, "You . . . you . . . you don’t have to think about what he did to you.  Just . . . just think about who he was.  Just . . . just describe him.  Hmm?"  "Well . . . " Balki thinks, " . . . he was as big as an ox."  "Mm hmm," Larry hums.  "He was as strong as an ox."  "Mm hmm."  "He smelled like an ox."  After a moment Balki says, "W . . . wait a minute . . . he was an ox.  I’m thinking of the family ox, Mikey."  Balki laughs at his mistake.

"Brunos," Larry tries to get Balki back on track, "Think of Brunos.  Think of Brunos."  Balki thinks again and his face grows serious.  "Oh!" he says, "Yeah . . . I got him.  I got him."  "Okay . . . all right . . . all right . . . just describe him," Larry says, "What . . . what . . . what did he sound like?"  "When he talked it was like thunder," Balki recalls.  "Mm hmm, okay, okay," Larry says, "How did he move?"  "When he walked the whole island shook," Balki recounts dramatically, "He wasn’t invited out very often."  "He wasn’t invited out very often?" Larry asks.  "No," Balki answers.  "Why not?" Larry asks.  "Because he was big and smelly and scary," Balki remembers.  "And have you ever thought how that made him feel?" Larry ventures.  Balki thinks about this a moment, then suddenly shouts, "Angry!  Angry!!"  "All right, all right!  Good!  Good!" Larry says, "Become Brunos!"  Balki turns to Larry and lifts him up by the neck to throttle him, shouting, "Ah!  It’s Friday night and I’m all alone and I smell bad!"  "Great!  Great!  You’re doing great!" Larry says as Balki sets him down, "You’re doing great!  Oh!"

Larry picks up a script and opens it, saying, "All right . . . all right . . . now come on, let’s just . . . let’s just try it with the lines.  Okay?"  "Okay," a stunned Balki agrees.  "All right, all right . . . here we go."  "Yeah," Balki looks at the script.  "Here we go.  All right . . . angry."  "Angry!" Balki shouts again.  "Angry!" Larry repeats, "Good!  Okay, okay . . . all right . . . " Larry reads from the script, "‘Billy . . . "  "Yeah!" Balki says.  "Who parked the thresher down by old creek road?’"  Balki reads the line with no emotion or anger, saying, "‘I did what . . . are you going to do about it?’"  Balki looks at Larry excitedly, thinking he’s nailed it.  Larry takes the script from Balki and sets it down, saying, "No."  "Did I . . . ?" Balki begins.  "No, no, no . . . you lost the anger," Larry explains, "You lost the anger.  It all went right out the window."  Balki turns to try to look out one of the prop windows but Larry pulls him back.

"All right, what you have to do . . . you have to retain the anger when you say the lines," Larry explains, then says, "All right, all right . . . what we need is a word that will help you to become Brunos.  A key word that will set off your memory of Brunos when he was at his meanest.  All right . . . all right . . . where would you see Brunos?"  "Uh . . . well, uh, when I was on my way to school . . . "  "Yeah, you’d be on your way to school . . . " Larry repeats.  "Yeah, I . . . I would have . . . "  " . . . you’d have your lunch," Larry reminds him.  "I’d have my lunch and I’d be crossing over the . . . the bridge," Balki finishes.  "Okay . . . school over the . . . " Larry thinks, then he snaps his fingers and says, "Okay, all right, I’ve got it . . . lunch."  "Bridge," Balki says, with anger glowing in his eyes.  "All right . . . " Larry tries again, " . . . uh, uh . . . school."  "Bridge," Balki repeats, getting angrier.

"All right . . . all right," Larry tries again, "Path."  "Bridge!" Balki shouts, "Bridge!!  BRIDGE!!!"  "I’ve got it," Larry states, "Bridge!"  Balki flies into a rage and picks up Larry by the throat again, throttling him.  "Great!  Great!  You’re doing great!" Larry enthuses as Balki sets him down, "Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  All right!  All right!  Every time you hear that word you will become Brunos!  Now we can put that word anywhere in the script!  All right, come on.  Let’s try it with the lines.  Here we go."  He hands Balki a script and they move to the front of the table.  "Here we go," Larry says, "Come on, come on.  One more time.  Here we go.  All right, ready?"  "Yeah," Balki confirms.  "All right, here we go," Larry begins, "‘Billy, who parked the thresher down by old creek bridge?’"  Balki drops the script and grabs Larry by the shirt, pulling him close and screaming, "I did!  What are you gonna do about it?!?"  Balki throws Larry off the stage and he falls into the aisle between the seats as the scene fades to black.

Act two begins with an establishing shot of the recreation center at night and the caption, "Opening Night."  The audience is full.  People whisper amongst themselves as the lights dim.  A spotlight hits he stage, revealing Larry standing with a bundle of wheat in his hand.  He recites, "Wheat.  Miles and miles of wheat.  In an era of depression and hardship there emerged a young man struggling to save his family from a failed wheat crop and economic decline, all while trying to realize his dream of becoming an author.  I’m Lawrence and this is my story . . . Wheat."  The curtains open, revealing the small home set with wheat showing in every window.  Jennifer is standing by the stove with her back to the audience as she stirs something in a pot.  Larry introduces her, "This is my mother . . . Ma."  Jennifer turns to the audience to reveal she is dressed as a dowdy older woman.  "Ma was a hard-working woman who paid the price of pioneer life," Larry explains, "Her face was as dry and cracked as the drought-ridden earth."  Jennifer gives Larry a dirty look.

"She was forty but looked sixty," Larry continues.  Jennifer looks even angrier.  "Every afternoon Ma summoned me to supper with her pleasant, almost melodic, voice," Larry says.  "Come and get it, Lawrence," Jennifer says in a very angry, hostile voice.  She reaches into the pot and pulls out a sandwich which she slams down on the kitchen table.  "But she wasn’t feeling well today," Larry covers her disposition, "But, no matter how she felt, Ma was always waiting there to greet me with a hug."  Larry crosses the stage to hug her, but Jennifer turns her back on him.  "Except Tuesday," Larry covers, "There was no hugging on Tuesdays.  We always used to enjoy . . . "  Balki suddenly barges on stage, looking scruffy and wearing overalls, and begins to recite, "Hello, Lawrence.  It is I, your brother Billy!"  "Not now!  Not now!" Larry snarls at him, "Get off the stage!  Not now!  Go, go, go, go!  Go away!  Go away!"  Balki hurries back off the stage.  There is a crashing noise in the wings.  "We always used to enjoy a visit . . . " Larry begins again, and Balki comes back out with the intention of explaining what the noise was but Larry snarls at him again and Balki hurries back off, making more noise.

Larry moves to the front door of the set and begins again, struggling to be able to open the door.  "We always used to enjoy a visit from . . . "  He finally manages to push the door open.  " . . . from the Apple Lady."  Larry looks out the door, but Lydia enters as the Apple Lady from the wings, looking lost as she wanders on stage.  Lydia crosses to Jennifer and stands with her back to the audience, holding out an apple.  Jennifer motions with her head for Lydia to interact with Larry, and Lydia holds the apple out to Larry.  Larry speaks as he tries to motion Lydia to turn around and face the audience.  "One of the Apple Lady’s favorite activities was to gossip.  Once she started talking there was no stopping her.  So, Apple Lady, what’s new?"  Lydia finally turns to the audience and begins, "Well . . . "  As soon as she sees all the people staring at her, Lydia freezes completely, her mouth hanging open in frightened shock.  "So, Apple Lady . . . what’s new?" Larry prompts her again.  Lydia still stands frozen.  "Lydia . . . Lydia . . . " Larry says quietly, trying to snap her out of it, but it’s no use.

"One of the Apple Lady’s second favorite activities was to come into a room and stand there like a stone," Larry covers for her.  Larry tilts his head toward the wings and calls under his breath, "Mary Anne?"  Balki comes on again and begins, "Hello, Lawrence!  It is I, your brother Billy!"  "Not now, not yet!" Larry scolds, pushing Balki back toward the wings, "No!  Get Mary Anne!"  Larry pushes Balki off the stage and there is another clattering of noise.  Larry moves to the door, again having trouble opening it as he says, "Some of my fondest memories were of my sweetheart love . . . "  Larry finally gets the door open.  " . . . Bobbi Sue.  Hi, Bobbi Sue!"  Larry is looking out the door again but Balki pushes Mary Anne on stage from the wings.  She stands, looking out at the audience with one hand behind her back, and says in a loud, clear voice, "Hi, Lawrence!"  Larry steps to her and says, "Bobbi Sue was very considerate.  She always brought over a bottle of fresh milk from her cow, Bessie."  Mary Anne pulls her hand from behind her back to reveal she is holding a bundle of wheat.

"I couldn’t find the milk," Mary Anne explains in an aside to Larry, then she recites, "Lawrence, may I pour you a tall, cold glass of . . . "  Mary Anne motions with the wheat as if it were a pitcher of milk then stops and exclaims, "Oh now that doesn’t work at all, does it?"  Larry has had it and pushes Mary Anne toward the wings, then gets Jennifer and Lydia as well, as he says, "And so Bobbi Sue and Ma moved to the big city and they took the Apple Lady with them to use as a doorstop."  He pushes them all off stage.  Larry then moves to the door again, struggling to open it once more.  "And . . . and with Ma and the . . . and the rest of them gone . . . "  He finally gets the door open.  " . . . I was able to spend time alone with my brother, Billy."  Larry waits but Balki doesn’t enter.  Larry looks skyward in exasperation and he tries again, louder.  "My brother, Billy!"  Someone pushes Balki on stage from the wings.  Balki is eating a sandwich and has a small paper cup in his hand.  He is about to eat when he notices the audience.  Larry closes the door and crosses to Balki as Balki begins in a casual tone, "Hello, Lawrence, it is I . . . "

Larry pats Balki on the back and Balki snaps more into character, exclaiming, " . . . your brother Billy!"  Balki takes a bit of the sandwich and smiles at the audience.  "On the surface, Billy was a . . . oh God . . . "  Larry takes the cup and sandwich away from Balki and sets them on the table.  "On the surface, Billy was a . . . "  Larry sees Balki is still chewing and so he hits Balki on the back of the head, causing Balki to spit out the food.  The audience reacts with confusion and disgust.  "On the surface, Billy was a good kid but underneath there lurked a time bomb waiting to explode."  Larry turns to Balki and says, "So, Billy, who parked the thresher down by Old Creek Bridge?"  Balki flies into a rage, grabbing Larry by the shirt and shaking him as he screams, "I did!  What are ya gonna do about it?!  Huh?!?"  "Nothing!  Nothing!  I’m sorry I asked!" Larry cries, then he says quietly to Balki, "You’re doing great!"  "Oh, thank you," Balki smiles in his regular voice, "I . . . I’ve been practicing."  Balki starts to look down into the audience, recognizing someone, but Larry pulls him away and pushes him toward the rear of the stage so he can continue.

"Sure, Billy had his problems," Larry says, "Heck, we all had our problems.  But he was able to bridge that gap."  Balki immediately responds to the word, his face twisting in rage, but Larry doesn’t notice this.  "Sometimes Billy could be an understanding, kind, thoughtful and filled with compassion.  A caring brother, whose only thought was the happiness of his family."  Balki is writhing around the stage, barely containing his anger.  "Wherever Billy went there was only love," Larry says.  Balki grabs Larry by the throat and starts to throttle him, screaming, "Shut up and give me your lunch!"  Balki drags Larry off the stage by the throat and we hear the struggle continue in the wings.  Larry tries crawling back on stage but Balki grabs him by the ankles and pulls him back into the wings.  After more crashing sounds, Larry runs on stage and tells the audience, "I guess today’s the day that Billy goes off to college!  Bye, Billy!  Write!  He never will."  Larry regains his composure and stammers, "Oh . . . so . . . w . . . where was I?"  He picks up a bundle of wheat and says, "Oh, um . . . wheat."

Larry sets down the wheat as Balki, still in a rage, rushes on stage from the other side and screams, "Ah ha!"  "Spring break already?" Larry asks.  Balki makes motions like he’s going to lunge around the table and Larry urges him, "Calm down, Balki."  Balki starts chasing Larry around the table.  "Billy had trouble adjusting to college . . . " Larry tries to explain, then he runs around the table again, pulling out the chairs to slow Balki down.  Balki just tosses the chairs aside, throwing a couple of them into the audience, where the people cringe nervously.  " . . . and like many struggling freshman he . . . he developed a bizarre furniture throwing disorder."  Balki throttles the bundle of wheat and screams at Larry.  "Sure . . . sure, there were barriers between us . . . " Larry says as Balki grabs the table and throws it off the stage toward the audience.  " . . . but Billy was always able to tear ‘em down," Larry explains.  Balki grabs Larry by the neck and pulls him to the edge of the stage, snarling, "Now you’re going off the bridge!"  Balki hurls Larry off the stage and into the audience.  A moment later, Larry’s pained voice calls out, "Curtain!"  Balki immediately turns back into his sweet self and says, "Curtain?  That’s my job!"  Balki happily pulls the curtains closed.

Early the next morning at the house, Mary Anne opens the front door and Larry comes in behind her, wearing a neck brace and a cast on his leg.  Larry is on crutches and moves slowly into the house, followed by Jennifer and Balki.  "Now let’s get you comfortable," Mary Anne says as they move toward the couch.  "Cousin, I . . . Cousin I . . . I’m sorry I threw you off the stage," Balki offers, "I’ll never forgive myself for causing you to black out and miss my curtain closing."  Larry sits on the couch and Mary Anne lifts his broken leg, preparing to drop it onto a couch cushion which she has placed on the coffee table.  "Oh no, no, no, Mary Anne, Mary Anne," Balki stops her, "That . . . that’s gonna be too high."  Mary Anne takes the cushion away and turns to get a pillow, dropping Larry’s leg onto the hard coffee table and causing him pain.  Mary Anne gets a pillow and lifts Larry’s leg again, about to put the pillow beneath it when Balki stops her again.  "No, Mary Anne, Mary Anne, that’s the good cushion, don’t do that."  Mary Anne again drops Larry’s leg onto the hard coffee table.  "Here, let’s try this one, okay?" Balki suggests as Mary Anne lifts Larry’s leg again.  "Okay," Larry sighs.

Balki throws a pillow to land on the coffee table but it slides too far and Mary Anne drops Larry’s leg on the coffee table yet again as she grabs for it.  Larry is beside himself in pain when Mary Anne finally manages to get his leg rested on the pillow.  "Oh . . . I know, I know," Larry sighs, "I did it again.  I couldn’t leave well enough alone.  If I hadn’t taken over the play and insisted on doing it my way everything would have been fine."  "Oh now, come on, Cousin," Balki says, walking around behind Larry to rub his shoulders, "Don’t be so hard on yourself."  "Larry, are . . . are you ready to read the review yet?" Jennifer asks as she sits on the arm of the couch.  Balki has moved behind Mary Anne now.  "Oh no, no, please," Larry whines, "I . . . I don’t want to hear anything that . . . that reminds me of ‘Wheat.’  I . . . I mean . . . I . . . I’m just glad the whole thing is . . . is over and done.  As far as I’m concerned it’s just all water under the bridge."  After a moment, Balki goes into a rage and grabs Mary Anne by the head, pulling it up and causing her to scream.  Balki lunges for Larry, who pushes himself up and tries to hop away as the episode ends.

Continue on to the next episode . . .