Strangers Episode Guide
113 - Speak, Memory
First Air Date: February 8, 1991
Filming Date: January 18,
Nielsen Rating: 15.5 HH
Co-Producer: Alan Plotkin
Created by: Dale McRaven
Written by: John B. Collins
Directed by: Judy Pioli
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Melanie Wilson: Jennifer Lyons
Sam Anderson: Mr. Sam Gorpley
Marla Adams: Mrs. Catherine Lyons
John Drayman: The Waiter
Dimitri Appearances: Dimitriís photo can
be seen on the bookcase.
"You jump to absurd contusions . . .
" . . . you start to diaper-ventilate
. . . "
"Oh, youíre memory bank is no
"Let me just check and see if your
pupils are annihilated."
"We go everywhere together. Weíre
Donít be ridiculous:
Not said in this
Other catchphrases used in this episode:
Balki makes a comment that goes,
"Well, something something and call me something," in this case,
"Well, paint me gold and call me Oscar!"
"Oh my Lord!"
"I have . . . a plan!"
Other running jokes used in this episode:
Larry has a plan
Balki hugs someone when meeting them for
the first time
Notable Moment: Larry meets Jenniferís
mother, Catherine Lyons
Songs: "Moon River" - Larry
gargles and Balki sings part of the song
- The title of this episode, Speak,
Memory, is the title of an autobiographical memoir written by Vladimir
Nabokov and covers his life living in pre-Revolutionary Saint Petersberg in the
first half of the twentieth century. It should be noted that one of the
characters in the book is named Dmitri!
- Larry gets a book thrown at him from an
irate sports department worker when he says they should devote more space to American
Gladiators. The competition series was wildly popular when it debuted in
1989 and continued to run until 1996. Back then the show was done in a
tournament style with competitors going head-to-head in outrageously wild events
which tested the physical prowess and agility of the participating contestants.
An all-new version of the show aired in NBC in 2008. You can visit the official
website for American Gladiators by clicking here.
Larry's impressive tumble down the stairs has often caused fans to ask if Mark
did that stunt himself. It's actually the work of a stuntman and some very
astute editing. Judy Pioli explained to the audience during the filming
how the stunt was done. Apparently the majority of the fall was done (or
would be done) by a stuntman but not in front of the audience. But Mark
did tumble down the last part of the stairs to land on the floor, an impressive
pratfall in and of itself!
- At one point, Larry asks Balki if there
were some reason he were dressed like The Cisco Kid. The Cisco Kid was the
creation of O. Henry and first appeared in one of the writerís short stories,
although in that version he was non-Hispanic and an outlaw. When the character
was adapted for a movies (and later a popular radio series, as well as comics
and television) he became a Mexican caballero who, along with his sidekick,
helped those in need.
- The exterior of the restaurant seen in
this episode is the same one used in many previous episodes, starting with The
Karate Kids. In that episode the place was called Edwardís. Over the course of
the series that restaurant changed hands many, many times. In this episode it is
called Caulfieldís. Itís amazing these places keep changing over since they
seem to be popular, although since we keep seeing the same people walking into the restaurant in all the different incarnations, maybe those few people were
their only customers!
- Marla Adams, who played Jenniferís
mother in this episode, is a veteran of television and film. She first appeared
in the 1961 movie Splendor in the Grass. Known for appearing on soap
operas, she played Belle Clemens on The Secret Storm from 1968 to 1974.
Her television credits include appearances in General Hospital, Adam-12,
Starsky and Hutch, Marcus Welby, M.D., The Streets of San Francisco, Emergency!,
The Love Boat, Hart to Hart, Happy Days, Hill Street Blues, Whoís the Boss?,
Matlock, The Golden Girls, Baywatch, Nash Bridges, Days of Our Lives and Walker,
Texas Ranger. In 2008 she reprised her role as Dina Mergeron Abbott on The
Young and the Restless, which she had played throughout part of the 1980's,
for a three episode story arc.
- John Drayman, who appeared very briefly
as the waiter in this episode, does not have too many television credits to his
name. But the residents of Glendale, California, are familiar with his current
work, as he is their current mayor!
The episode begins in the apartment. Balki
is sitting at the dining table doing his homework and Larry gets a plate of
chicken from the refrigerator. He takes a wing and walks to Balki, asking,
"Howís the English homework coming, Balki?" "Oh, itís coming
along real good," Balki reports. Larry takes a bite of the chicken and
Balki watches with surprise, then exclaims, "Well, paint me gold and call
me Oscar! I thought you said youíd never eat Myposian food again after you
found out I make my shoe-fly pie with real shoes and real flies." Larry
looks worried and asks, "This is Myposian food?" "Yes, itís
Moon Chados Stiki Chiki Bizzi Buzz Buzz," Balki explains. "Moon Chados
Stiki Chiki Bizzi Buzz Buzz?" Larry asks. "That means Ďhoney glazed
chicken,í" Balki explains. "Thatís all this is?" Larry asks,
"Honey glazed chicken?" "Thatís all it is," Balki assures
him. "Well, itís terrific," Larry smiles, and he keeps eating.
There is a knock at the door and Larry
turns to answer it. "Yeah, the . . . the secret is to cut the
sweetness of the honey with the tartness of yak bile," Balki adds.
Larry looks disgusted and almost drops the chicken, hurrying back to the kitchen
counter to drop the wing on the plate and wipe his tongue with a paper
napkin. After knocking again, Jennifer enters and sees Larry, then closes
the door and hurries to him. "Oh! Larry, I have to talk to
you!" "Well, Jennifer, whatís
wrong?" Larry asks. "I have terrible news," Jennifer says,
"My motherís coming to town and she wants to meet you." Balki walks
over to Larry as Larry says, "Well, Jennifer, Iíd love to meet your
mother." "But, Larry, you donít understand," Jennifer says,
"Mother doesnít think anyone is good enough for me." "Well,
then sheíll like Cousin Larry," Balki points out, "He donít think
heís good enough for you, either." "Balki, youíre not
helping," Larry notes.
"Larry, Iíd marry you even if
mother didnít like you but it would be so much better if she did,"
Jennifer explains, "Then I wouldnít have to defend you all the
time." "Jennifer, donít worry," Larry assures her, "You
forget . . . Iím a reporter; a wordsmith, a weaver of verbal magic. Iíll
make your mother think Iím the most wonderful guy in the world, then weíll
be married and the truth wonít matter!" "Well . . . youíre right.
I mean, what was I so worried about?" Jennifer realizes, then she takes
Larryís hand and walks back to the door, "Oh Larry, what could mother
possibly find wrong with you? I mean, youíre not at all like the other men I
used to date. Youíre not always stopping to sign autographs like the baseball
player. Not always being called away like the heart surgeon. Not always being
summoned to the White House like the Congressman."
"Heís not always lugging that
Heisman trophy around like the football player," Balki adds. "Oh,
Larry, I feel much better!" Jennifer smiles, and she gives him a kiss.
"Now donít worry," Larry insists, "Youíre mother is gonna
love me!" "Bye, Larry," Jennifer smiles and she hurries away.
"Bye bye," Larry smiles and he closes the door. The second the door is
closed Larry cries, "Balki, what am I gonna do? Her mother hated a
Congressman!" Balki suddenly slaps Larry on the cheek, much to Larryís
surprise. "Why did you do that?" Larry asks in a hurt tone.
"Cousin, I had no choice," Balki explains, "You know how these
things always end. You jump to absurd contusions, you paint an outlandish
picture of what your life would be like, you get hysterical, you start to
diaper-ventilate and then who has to slap you and just bring you back to
reality? I do. Well, tonight I donít have time for the full-length version.
got participles dangling over there so I just cut to the chase."
Balki turns to walk back to his homework
but Larry grabs his arm to stop him. "Balki . . . donít you see whatís
happening here?" "Cousin . . . donít make me do this," Balki
warns. "Balki, her mother hated a big-league ball player!" Larry
cries, "I didnít get a hit in three years of Little League!" "Cousin, Iím gonna . . . " Balki struggles to hold back from
slapping Larry again, saying, " . . . just donít make me do this . . .
" "Balki, I am doomed," Larry sighs, "I donít have a
prayer." His face suddenly brightens. "A prayer! Thatís it!
become a priest! All the world loves a priest!" He thinks and says,
"No, thatís not it. All the world loves a clown! Iíll become a
clown!" Balki slaps Larry again. "Youíre right . . . I shoulda
listened when you slapped me the first time," Larry says. "Oh po po po
po!" Balki sighs, "Appletoniki babasticki, Bartokomouki gullibliki
hullabalooki . . . " Balki stomps into his bedroom as he continues to
mumble in Myposian under his breath. A moment later he walks back out and slaps
Larry once more before going back to his room again. Larry stands holding his
sore face and looking confused.
The next day at the Chronicle, Balki is at
his worktable sorting the mail. Mr. Gorpley steps out of his office with an
envelope and approaches Balki. "Bartokomous, I told you before . . . all
letters from my ex-wife are supposed to be filed . . . here." Mr. Gorpley
picks up a garbage can and drops the letter into it. "Iím sorry, Mr.
Gorpley," Balki offers, "I . . . I never would have guessed it was
from your ex-wife. Usually her letters come through the window tied to a
brick." The telephone on Larryís desk rings. "I better get
that," Balki says, crossing over to the phone, "Cousin Larryís
upstairs with his friends in the Sports Department." Balki picks up the
receiver and says, "Hello . . . Cousin Larry Appletonís desk. Oh hi,
Jennifer!" Balki sits on the edge of the desk as he says, "No, Cousin
Larryís not here. Uh . . . I donít know why heís never around when your
life is falling apart. Oh . . . okay. Okay . . . Iíll tell him.
Bye." Balki hangs up the phone and look worried.
"Bad news for Appleton?" Mr.
Gorpley asks anxiously, then he smiles and says, "I love bad news."
"Well, then youíre in for a treat," Balki says,
mother is coming to town earlier than expected and so Cousin Larry has to have
dinner with them tonight instead of Thursday and I hope he donít get too
upset. He donít adjust to change very well." Larry appears at the top of
the stairs talking to someone on the other side of the doorway. "Yeah,
well, if you were any kind of Sports Department youíd give more coverage to
American Gladiators." Larry ducks just as a book flies over his head,
barely missing his head. Larry straightens his tie and sighs, "Jerks,"
then heads for the stairs. "Hey, Appleton, your girlfriend called,"
Mr. Gorpley announces, "You two are having dinner with her mother
tonight." "Tonight?" Larry gasps, then cries out,
"Tonight?" Mr. Gorpley nods with a smile. Larry starts down the stairs
but trips and then rolls head over heels to the first landing and then down the
remaining stairs to the basement floor where he lands with a thud. Balki and Mr.
Gorpley run to Larry to help him up. "Cousin! Cousin!" Balki cries,
"Are you all right?" They pull Larry to his feet.
"Well of course heís all
right," Mr. Gorpley insists, "He landed on his head." "I
think Iím all right," Larry says, reaching to feel the back of his head,
"I . . . ow!" "Cousin, where does it hurt?" Balki asks, and
he grabs the back of Larryís head, causing him to cry, "Ow!" even
louder. Larry stares at Balki with a blank expression and asks, "Who are
you?" "Cousin . . . do you remember me?" Balki asks worriedly.
"I donít remember anything," Larry says. "Nothing?" Mr.
Gorpley gasps. "Nothing," Larry confirms. "Then you owe me twenty
bucks," Mr. Gorpley says, then he reaches for Larryís pocket and says,
"Iíll just take it out of your wallet." "Mr. Gorpley!
no time to discuss Cousin Larryís debts!" Balki cries, "I have to
get him to the hospital." Balki tries to lead Larry to the parking garage
but Larry stops him, saying, "W . . . wait . . . hold it, hold it. Aw come
on, I . . . I can get to the hospital myself." Larry looks around a moment
then asks, "How do I get outta here?" "Oh Cousin," Balki
sighs, "Iíll take you to the hospital myself. Where did you say it
hurt?" As Balki leads Larry to the parking garage he grabs the back of
Larryís head again. "Well, I . . . ow!" Larry cries. As they exit to
the parking garage, the scene fades to black.
Act two begins later in the day when Balki
and Larry return to the apartment. Balki opens the door and motions for Larry to
enter, which Larry does with a blank look on his face. "Is your . . . is
your . . . is your headache gone?" Balki asks as he closes the door. "Yeah," Larry replies quietly.
"Okay," Balki prompts,
"your name is Cousin Larry Appleton . . . Cousin Larry Appleton. Now
you." "Uh, my . . . my name is Cousin Larry Appleton," Larry
mimics, copying Balkiís usual pronunciation of his name exactly. "Relax the
jaw," Balki coaches, "Relax the jaw." "Cousin Larry
Appleton," Larry repeats, making the pronunciation even more slurred.
"Cousin Larry Appleton," the both say again in the same way.
"Hello," Balki prompts, "My name is Cousin Larry Appleton."
"Hello, my name is Cousin Larry Appleton," Larry parrots. "How
are you?" Balki prompts. "Fine," Larry answers instead.
"No," Balki sighs. "Youíd think my own name would sound
Larry sighs. "Well, Cousin, donít worry about it," Balki says as he
leads Larry to the couch, "The . . . the . . . the doctor said your own
memory will . . . will come back in . . . in just a . . . a few hours. He . . .
he x-rayed your head and found nothing."
Balki and Larry sit down. "He said .
. . he said youíre fine . . . youíre just fine . . . you . . . youíve
never been better except you donít know who you are from a hole in the
ground," Balki finishes, ending in near sobs. "My name is Cousin Larry
Appleton," Larry starts to say again and Balki joins in to help him. "Good, good!" Balki encourages,
"And relaxing the jaw."
"My name is Cousin Larry Appleton," Larry repeats with his jaw hanging
loose. "Hello," Balki prompts, "My name is Cousin Larry
Appleton." "Hello, my name is Cousin Larry Appleton," Larry
mimics simultaneously. "How are you?" Balki prompts. "Fine,"
Larry answers instead. "No," Balki sighs with frustration and he
starts to sob again. "I . . . I know my name but . . . but I . . . I donít
know anything else," Larry explains, "I . . . I donít know where I .
. . I live or where I work . . . I mean . . . tell me about me." "Oh,
where does one begin?" Balki sighs, then offers, "Uh, you were born in
Madison, Wisconsin. You live in this apartment." Larry looks around.
"Iím your best friend," Balki adds, and he puts his arm around Larryís
shoulders and smiles. Larry stares at him with a blank expression. Balki removes
his arm from Larryís shoulders.
"You work at the Chicago
Chronicle," Balki continues, "And . . . when you think no one is
listening you gargle to the tune of ĎMoon River.í" "I gargle to
the tune of ĎMoon River?í" Larry asks in disbelief. "Yeah,"
Balki nods. Suddenly Larry says, "Wait a minute! W . . . wait a minute!
think Iím starting to remember . . . do we . . . do we work with a man named .
. . named . . . Mr. . . . Mr. . . . Mr. Porkly?" Balki starts massaging
Larryís temples to help him remember. "Mr. . . . Mr. Headly?" Larry
guesses. "No, just . . . " Balki encourages. "Mr.
Larry remembers. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Balki cries excitedly.
"Oh! Oh!" Larry gasps, grabbing Balkiís hands, "and . . . and . . . and Iím
Larry Appleton and . . . and this is our apartment and youíre Balki."
"Yes! Yes!" Balki says happily, "Oh Cousin! Oh, youíre memory
bank is no longer overdrawn. This is wonderful! Oh boy!" "Woo, what a
relief!" Larry sighs. "Oh, Cousin, itís so good to have you
back," Balki smiles. "It is good to be back," Larry assures him.
"Hey, Iím gonna make you a nice strong cup of coffee," Balki says.
"I love strong coffee," Larry smiles. "Well, I know you do,"
Balki replies, and he goes to the kitchen to make the coffee.
Larry laughs and sighs, "Oh boy.
. . I must have taken quite a spill! For a minute there I . . . I couldnít
remember anything. Well . . . born in Madison, work at the Chronicle, gargle to
ĎMoon River.í Itís all back. Hoo! Boy . . . the human brain is one amazing
little gizmo." Balki returns and sets down a little tray with a coffee cup
on the coffee table. Balki sits next to Larry and stirs the coffee, then hands
it to Larry and asks, "Sugar?" "Who are you and why are you
calling me sugar?" Larry asks. Balki stares at Larry a moment and then
starts to cry, moaning, "Youíve lost it again." "Lost
what?" Larry asks, then his eyes open wide and he asks, "Who am I?
are you? Is . . . is there some reason youíre dressed like the Cisco
Kid?" "Iím trying to make a fashion statement," Balki states,
"But quite clearly itís wasted on you." "Well, I . . . Iím
sorry if I insulted you but I . . . I . . . I donít remember who I am,"
Larry admits nervously, "And I donít know if I ever will!"
"Now, Cousin, just donít
worry," Balki insists, "The doctor said that your memory might go away
and come back a few times before you get it back for good. He said it happens
all the time to people testifying before Congressional committees." "Iím
testifying before Congress?" Larry cries, "W . . . what have I done?
. . . what did I do?" "No, no," Balki says, "Calm down.
down. Calm down." Balki breathes deeply and motions for Larry to do the
same. Larry takes a few short sniffs. "Okay now . . . your name is Cousin
Larry Appleton," Balki begins again. "My . . . my name is Cousin Larry
Appleton," Larry mimics. "Come on, relax the jaw," Balki
encourages, "My name is Cousin Larry Appleton." "My name is . . .
my name is Cousin Larry Appleton," Larry parrots simultaneously. "Cousin Larry Appleton," the say together.
prompts, "My name is Cousin Larry Appleton." "Hello," Larry
mimics, "Hello, my name is Cousin Larry Appleton," and Balki joins him
at the end. "How are you?" Balki prompts. "Fine," Larry
answers instead. "Oh," Balki sighs with frustration, and then he takes
a couple of deep breaths, then begins again with, "Okay . . . you were born
in Madison, Wisconsin." "I . . . I work at the Chicago
Chronicle," Larry recalls, "and I . . . . " Larry tilts his head
back and starts gargling ĎMoon River.í Balki listens, and then sings along
with him, "Weíre after the same rain . . . "
"I got it!" Larry cries, "I
remember! I remember! No, I . . . Iím Larry Appleton, I . . . I was born in
Madison, Wisconsin, I work at the Chronicle and I even remember how many girls I
asked to the senior prom. Twelve. And I remember how many turned me down.
Thirteen. One girl just came right up to me in the cafeteria and said, ĎDonít
even think of asking me to the prom!í" Larry thinks about this and
then comments in a hurt tone, "A. . . a little unnecessary, donít you
think?" "Well, she might have had a good reason," Balki suggests,
"Were you eating at the time?" "I was merely using that story to
illustrate the fact that I remember every detail of my life," Larry
explains. "Well, thatís good, Cousin," Balki counters, "Do you
remember that youíre having dinner with Jennifer and her mother tonight?"
"Yes, I remember that Iím having dinner with Jennifer and her . . .
" Larry begins in a mocking tone, then he looks startled and jumps up,
pulling Balki up with him and crying, "Oh my Lord! I have to have dinner
with Jenniferís mother! W . . . well, Balki . . . she hated a . . . a heart
surgeon! What am I gonna do? My life is over!" Larry starts to
hyperventilate. "Cousin, youíre hysterical," Balki points out,
"Do you remember how I bring you out of this?" "No!" Larry
gasps. Balki raises his hand and Larry immediately insists, "Iím
fine," becoming instantly calm.
Later that night at the restaurant,
Caulfieldís, Larry and Balki enter the foyer. "All right . . .
name," Balki quizzes him. "Larry Appleton," Larry answers.
"Place of birth?" Balki asks. "Madison, Wisconsin," Larry
answers. "Address?" "I know where we live," Larry assures
him. "Youíre bluffing," Balki says, and he grabs Larry and pulls him
aside. "Balki, please, I am fine," Larry insists, "I have had my
memory for four solid hours now. So, just . . . just, please. You didnít have
to drive me here." Balki pulls out a pen flashlight and shines it in Larryís
eye, saying, "Let me just check and see if your pupils are
annihilated." Balki then shines the flashlight in Larryís mouth and says,
"Open wide. Nice and wide." Larry opens his mouth wide.
Balki instructs, "Give me a nice big ĎAhh!í" "Aaahhhh!"
Larry sings as he holds his mouth open. "Now you need to depress the back
of your tongue," Balki says, and he sticks his finger in Larryís mouth,
causing him to gag. "Balki, please!" Larry scolds, "Now, l . . .
look . . . donít tell Jennifer anything about my temporary memory loss. She .
. . sheíd only worry. So just please, donít tell her anything."
"All right, all right, I wonít tell
her anything," Balki promises, "Just let me go see if theyíre
here." "All right," Larry sighs. Balki shines the flashlight in
Larryís eyes again until Larry shoes him away. Balki hurriedly takes a look
into the restaurant and then returns to report, "Theyíre here."
"Who are you?" Larry asks. "Oh God!" Balki cries.
am I?" Larry asks. "Oh God! Iíve got to get you out of here!"
Balki starts to pull Larry to the front door but Jennifer enters the foyer.
"Larry, what are you doing out here?" Jennifer cries, pulling Larry
back, "Motherís waiting to meet you." "Well!" Larry says,
taken with Jennifer, "If sheís anything like you I would love to meet
her." "Larry, whatís going on here?" Jennifer asks.
Jennifer," Balki says, taking Jenniferís arm and pulling her away from
Larry, "I hate to be the wearer of bad news but Cousin Larry had an
accident today. He fall down the stairs, he bonk his head and . . . and then he
lose his memory and then it come back but every time he needs it it goes away
again." Jennifer turns back to Larry with concern, asking, "Larry, are
you all right?" "Well, Iím fine," Larry smiles, "Now what
díya say the two of us get outta here and get to know each other." "Larry, we do know each other," Jennifer informs him, "Weíre
"Youíre gonna marry me?" Larry
asks with genuine surprise. "Yes," Jennifer answers, then she turns to
Balki. "Balki, if mother sees Larry in this condition sheíll never
approve of me marrying him." "Youíre gonna marry me?" Larry
asks again. "Maybe," Jennifer answers, not so certain this time, then
she asks Balki, "What am I gonna tell mother?" "Well, you just
tell her that Cousin Larry had an accident," Balki suggests, "He fall
down the stairs, he bonk his head, he lose his memory and now he donít know
who he is from a hole in the ground. The truth always works." "Not
this time," Jennifer sighs, "I used the amnesia excuse for one of my
old boyfriends." "Well, wait a minute," Larry steps in, "We
need your motherís approval?" "Yes," Jennifer answers.
"Well, we can make this work," Larry says, "I have . . . a
plan!" Jennifer and Balki shrug in surrender. "Well, this could
work!" Larry insists, "Iíll . . . Iíll just make small talk.
. . and . . . and if your mother wants to know something ahout me, uh, you and
Bulki can tell her . . . . " "Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me,"
Balki interrupts, "Balki . . . my name is Balki." "Whatever," Larry dismisses him, "Listen, the point is we can
make this work. Itís worth a shot! Come on!" Larry grabs Jennifer and
Balki and pulls them into the restaurant.
"All right, now, remember Blakely . .
. " Larry begins once they get inside the restaurant. "Balki,"
Balki corrects. "When we . . . yeah, whatever . . . " Larry dismisses
Balkiís correction, "If I get stuck for a fact you just jump right in and
. . . and give me the answer. But . . . but donít make it obvious.
try to lead me to the right answer. You think you can handle that?"
the one with the fully-functioning brain," Balki points out. Larry looks at
Jennifer with wide eyes and Jennifer just shakes her head and leads them to the
table. "Guys, this is my mother, Catherine Lyons," Jennifer introduces
an elegant older woman who is sitting at the table. "Mother, this is
Larry." Mrs. Lyons holds out her hand for Larry to shake and smiles,
"Hello." "Iím delighted to meet you," Larry assures her.
"Thank you," Mrs. Lyons replies. "And this is Balki, Larryís
cousin," Jennifer introduces. "Hello," Mrs. Lyons says, holding
out her hand. Balki walks over to her and gives her a hug instead. "Isnít
that nice," Mrs. Lyons comments to Jennifer when Balki steps away, "He
brought his cousin with him." "We go everywhere together," Balki
explains, "Weíre insufferable."
Larry, Balki and Jennifer take their seats
at the table. "Jennifer has, uh, told me so much about you, Mrs. uh . . .
Mrs. uh . . . " Larry falters immediately, "Mrs. uh . . . "
motions to Balki to give him a clue. "King of the jungle," Balki
prompts, "King of the jungle." "Mrs. Tarzan," Larry
finishes. "No," Balki sighs, "Uh, Lyons . . . Mrs. Lyons."
"Mrs. Lyons," Larry corrects. "Cousin Larry would, uh, forget his
own name if I hadnít sewn it into his underwear," Balki says, trying to
help. A waiter stops by the table and sets down a small tray of olives, baby
corn and gherkins. "Balkiís exaggerating, Mother," Jennifer assures
her. "Of course heís exaggerating," Larry says, "I have an
excellent memory." After a moment, Larry holds out his hand to Mrs. Lyons
and says, "Hello, my name is Cousin Larry Appleton." "Larry, stop
joking," Jennifer urges with a smile, "Mother will think youíre not
serious about marrying me." "Serious?" Larry asks,
"Well, of course Iím serious. Who wouldnít want to marry a woman
as lovely as Jessica?" "Jennifer," Balki corrects quickly.
"Jennifer," Larry corrects immediately, "My dream is to make her
Mrs. Cousin Larry Appleton." "Why donít we order?" Jennifer
suggests. "Good idea," Larry agrees, and he snaps his fingers and
calls, "Waiter? Could we have some menus?" The waiter replies,
"Yes, sir," and goes to get the menus. "I hear the food here is
very good," Larry offers.
"Tell me, Larry, do you enjoy for the
paper?" Mrs. Lyons asks. "And what paper would that be?" Larry
asks. The waiter returns and hands Larry four menus. Balki helps by saying,
"Uh, Cousin Larry loves working at the Chicago . . . " "Stockyards," Larry finishes.
Jenniferís mother smiles politely. "You know very well that you work at the Chicago Chronicle," Balki
reminds Larry. "How many years have you been there?" Mrs. Lyons asks.
"Oh, uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . uh . . . " Larry motions to Balki for
help. Balki picks up the tray and holds it out to Mrs. Lyons, asking, "Uh .
. . would you care for an olive?" "No, thanks," Mrs. Lyons
replies. "Sweet gherkin?" Balki asks. "Not really."
"Try the baby corn," Balki insists, "Take three ears . . . three ears
. . . take three ears . . . " Mrs. Lyons looks very uncomfortable.
Larry finally gets it and says, "Uh, three years! Three years. Iíve
worked at the Chronicle for three years. Uh, waiter!" Larry snaps again and
the waiter returns. "Could we have some menus?" "Theyíre right
here, sir," the waiter points out.
Larry is startled to see the menus in his
hand and says, "Oh! Well, that was fast. They know me here."
hands a menu to Mrs. Lyons and then offers one to
"Menu?" "Is he always like this?" Mrs. Lyons asks as she
passes the menu to Jennifer. "Mrs. Lyons, I know youíre concerned that .
. . " "Jennifer," Balki fills in without missing a beat.
. . marries happily. I just want you to know that I intend to devote the rest of
my life to making . . . " "Jennifer." " . . . happy."
"Thatís very reassuring," Mrs. Lyons smiles as she pats Larry on the
hand, "Now why donít we all try and relax and have a wonderful dinner,
hmm?" "Well, I think thatís a great idea," Larry agrees as
everyone opens their menus. A moment later, Larry holds his hand out to Mrs.
Lyons again and says, "Hello, my name is Cousin Larry Appleton."
then snaps his fingers and calls, "Uh, waiter? Could we get some
menus?" He notices the menu in his hand and says with surprise,
"Oh!" and laughs. Finally he looks at Balki and extends a hand,
asking, "Have we met?"
Back at the apartment later that night,
Larry and Balki are sitting on the couch. " . . . and . . . Iíve . . . Iíve
worked at the Chronicle for three years," Larry finishes. "Oh Cousin,
it looks like youíve got everything back," Balki smiles. "Yeah," Larry sighs, "everything except what happened from when I
fell down the stairs at the Chronicle to when Jenniferís mother stormed out of
the restaurant." There is a knock at the door and Larry goes to answer it.
Jennifer enters with her mother. "Jennifer! Mrs. Lyons!" Larry says
with surprise. "Larry, I explained everything to mother and she
understands," Jennifer says. "Y . . . you do?" Larry asks
hopefully. "Well, uh . . . uh, sort of," Mrs. Lyons admits,
"Jennifer told me about your temporary amnesia and that seemed to explain
most of your bizarre behavior. I mean, you seem pleasant enough, you have a
decent job and . . . thereís a certain desperation in your eyes that tells me
you will never leave my daughter. Welcome to the family."
"Thanks . . . Mom," Larry
smiles. "Call me Mrs. Lyons," Mrs. Lyons smiles seriously.
news!" Balki says, "Uh, after Jennifer marries Cousin Larry then . . .
then you will be my aunt-in-law five times removed. My livestock will be your
livestock!" Balki hugs her again. "Oh my!" Mrs. Lyons gasps
uncomfortably. "Iím so glad everything worked out," Jennifer smiles,
"Well, we have to get mother to the airport. Bye, Larry." Jennifer
steps forward and kisses Larry and then she and her mother walk to the door.
"Jennifer, are you sure about this marriage?" Mrs. Lyons asks. "Iím
sure," Jennifer insists. "Uh, the foreign boy wonít be living with
you, will he?" Mrs. Lyons asks, and she steps through the door. Jennifer
laughs and looks back at Larry and Balki, then her expression falls as she
thinks about this. She looks out the door with an uncertain expression, then
walks out and closes the door behind her. Larry turns to Balki and looks at him
for a moment, then holds out his hand and asks, "Have we met?"
on to the next episode . . .