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Perfect
Strangers Episode Guide
EPISODE
01 - Knock, Knock . . . Who's There?
First
Air Date: March 25, 1986
Nielsen Rating: 21.3 HH
TV
Guide Description: Cultures collide when Larry Appleton meets his
Mediterranean cousin, Balki Bartokomous, who shows up on Larry's doorstep in the
opener, looking for a place to stay and a job, although there aren't many
openings for sheepherders in Chicago.
Co-Producer:
James O’Keefe
Written by: Dale McRaven (series creator)
Directed by: Joel Zwick
Cast:
Bronson Pinchot: Balki Bartokomous
Mark Linn-Baker: Larry Appleton
Ernie Sabella: Mr. Twinkacetti
Lise Cutter: Susan Campbell
Guest Cast:
Stephen Vinovich: Customer #1
Bobby Hosea: Customer #2
Balki-isms:
"Am I looking up Larry Appleton?"
"America . . . land of my dreams, home of the Whopper."
"You’re not exactly pushing me to my Outer Limits."
"You come out here right now you unfair person and I mean maybe!"
"Not until I get a few things off my neck."
" . . . you’re making one big mistake, Ghost Buster!"
Don’t be
ridiculous: Introduced and said a whopping 5 times! Now that's
establishing a catch-phrase!!
Other catchphrases
used in this episode:
"Oh po po!" (first time)
Other running jokes
used in this episode:
Larry has a plan
Twinkacetti's barking growl
Songs: What’s
Love Got to Do With It? (as Balki dusts)
Notable Moments:
Balki meets and moves in with his cousin Larry Appleton in Chicago, Illinois.
Balki gets a job at the Ritz Discount Store with his Cousin Larry.
Interesting facts:
- The title of the episode is the opening line of
the classic "knock knock" joke.
- Includes the first time we hear Balki say "Oh po po po."
This is the only actual Myposian he speaks in the first episode, which is
interesting since this would be the "greenest" he would ever be.
- If you look at the box Balki brings into the
apartment you can see the "America or Burst" that was seen in the
opening credits on the side. On his back he has the alphabet blanket that
is seen off and on during the first season rolled up at the top of his pack.
- Susan works as a nurse but this is not really
established in the series, even though she's seen wearing nurses clothing in
various episodes.
- Have you ever noticed that the bell on the cash
register rings for the longest time in this episode? This was fixed in
later episodes.
- This is the first time we hear Twinkacetti refer
to Balki as "turnip," a reference to the old adage that someone new to
the country who doesn’t know much has "just fallen off the turnip
truck."
- Steve Vinovich, who plays the customer in this
episode, would turn up again as the commercial director in the episode To Be
or Not to Be.
- An opening scene was cut from the aired episode
which established Larry working in the Ritz Discount Store and his friendship
with Susan. To read this missing scene, see our review of the unaired
pilot.
Bloopers and
Inconsistencies:
- When Balki appears at Larry's front door he is holding the hat we see
him wearing on the boat to America and a note. After Larry confirms he's
found the right place Balki rushes in but the hat and note are no longer in his
hands and we never see them again. Balki does make a motion like he throws
them down on the ground but if that's the case then he never picks them up when
he comes in.
- Larry’s father is named George in this episode
(he would later be known as Walter.)
- The setup of the Ritz Discount store doesn't look
anything like the establishing shot of the building. From the outside we
see it is a corner store on the ground floor of an apartment building on a city
block with glass double doors facing the corner edge. Inside the store,
however, there is only a single door on the side of the building with what looks
like the corner of a park outside, including a low brick wall surrounding a
grassy area with trees and a park bench, none of which is even remotely close to
the city block setting of the establishing shot. While there does appear
to be a brick planter outside the store in the establishing shot, there's
nowhere near as much greenery outside.
- Susan challenges Larry’s word "Mypos"
but Larry defends himself by pointing out that it’s a real country.
Susan never counters with the fact that proper names are not allowed in
Scrabble.
Synopsis:
The opening credits for the first
season are complete and as important to the story as the beginning of the first
episode. We see Larry Appleton leaving his family’s two-story idyllic
home (complete with white picket fence) in Madison, Wisconsin. His family
is there to see him off . . . mother, father and siblings (two girls and three
boys are present). His mom has even packed him a sack lunch.
Larry’s red Ford Mustang is burdened down with luggage and boxes . . . he’s
finally striking out on his own in the world, moving to the big city of Chicago,
Illinois. He waves goodbye to everyone amidst the suitcases and bags piled
inside his car. They wave back (his little sister waggling her fingers in
her ears and sticking her tongue out at him) as he drives off.
The scene switches to Balki Bartokomous
leaving his sheep and goats in the field and handing his sheepherder’s crook
over to a young man before bidding goodbye to his Myposian family and friends.
His mother and father are there (although they seem a bit
old to be his parents? Or maybe not, since in Little Apartment of
Horrors Balki says his mama is 82 years old). He accepts a tied bundle
and a jacket from his mama as she hugs him. He proceeds to jump onto the
back of a horse-drawn cart where his luggage awaits him, including a box with
the words "America or Burst" written on the side (the first of many
Balki-isms to come). His face is filled with excitement as it draws away,
taking him on the first steps of an amazing adventure.
On the tramp steamer to America, Balki
gets his first glimpse at the Statue of Liberty . . . a poignant moment many
immigrants remember with great affection. Next he is on the bus to
Chicago. We also see Larry driving on the freeway, approaching Chicago.
Their worlds are about to collide (even though we have to assume Larry is
arriving at least two weeks before Balki).
The
first scene opens with Larry alone in his new bachelor pad. He gets a
pitcher of pink lemonade out of the refrigerator and carries it to the coffee
table in the living room, along with a glass and a bag of potato chips.
After setting them down he sits on the couch to watch television but first he
tries to open the bag of chips. In a moment many of us can relate to he
cannot pull the bag open no matter what, even resorting to placing the bag on
the table with his foot upon it as he pulls. He finally gives up, sitting
down with a sigh and saying, "Must be childproof."
Larry’s about to turn on the TV when
there is a knock at the door. "I hope whoever it is brought a
chainsaw," Larry sighs as he walks to the front door. Upon opening it
he finds a young man who looks somewhat out of place standing there. The
man refers to a slip of paper and asks "Am I looking up Larry
Appleton?" "Larry Appleton, that's me," Larry smiles.
The young man is overjoyed, launching through the door and hugging Larry in
glee, crying "Larry, Larry, Larry! I look everywhere
for you! I walk the streets, I search the alleys, I say to everyone, 'Have
you seen Larry?' You don't know how many people have never heard of you!
But now I find you and I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe!" He hugs a
surprised Larry again. "Yes, yes," Larry agrees, "Now
you're safe! Who are you?" "I am Balki Bartokomous!
Philo, my fifth cousin three times removed is the step-uncle to your father on
my mother’s side, two continents removed." "I see, so we’re
sort of related by rumor," Larry quips, still stunned.
Balki looks around Larry's apartment,
hardly able to contain his joy. "America!" he sighs, "Land
of my dreams, home of the Whopper." Balki moves to bring his
belongings inside as he says, "So Cousin Philo says to me, he says 'Balki,
when you move to America you have to go to Madison, Wisconsin, to look up George
Appleton. That's your father!" "Yeah, that's the story I
heard, too," Larry says, confused. "So, I said goodbye to Mypos,
my little Mediterranean island country, and I got on the tramp steamer . . .
tramp, tramp, tramp . . . and then I got on the bus . . . bus, bus, bus . . .
and I found
your father to move in but he said 'No, you have to go to the big city of
Chicago to find my son,' . . . that's you! So I got on the bus . . . bus,
bus, bus . . . and here I am!" "Whoa, wait a minute . . . you
came here to move in with me?" Larry asks. "Of course I did,
what do you think? I'm going to move in with some stranger?" Balki
asks, making himself comfortable on the couch, patting the cushion next to him
to invite Larry to sit as well.
Larry walks around to the other side of
the couch. "Well, Balki, uh . . . look . . . there is a
problem," Larry begins. Balki pats the couch again and Larry sits
down. "See, I just moved here myself," Larry begins, "This
is the first time I've lived alone. I actually have my own bachelor pad .
. . you wanna beer?" "No thank you," Balki smiles,
"What are you saying?" "Well, I'm saying . . . " Larry
hesitates, " . . . see I've lived my whole life with eight brothers and
sisters and it's
time, uh . . . hey, I want to live alone. I didn't even know you were
coming." "You're father didn't call you?" Balki asks with
surprise. "Well, I'm sure he tried and I just wasn't home,"
Larry explains. "Oh, well . . . " Balki sighs with
embarrassment, "I feel like a fool to come here and bother you."
He stands up, shaking Larry's hand warmly, "Goodbye American cousin, nice
to meet you. Don't worry about me, I know where I'm going."
"Where are you going?" Larry asks. "I don't know,"
Balki almost cries, "but this is America, open all night!"
Feeling guilty, Larry stops Balki. "Uh, look . . . I can't just turn
you out into the cold. You can stay until . . . . " Balki again
hugs Larry tightly, thanking him repeatedly. "No, no, no, no,
no!" Larry says, pushing Balki away, "that many thank you's would be
appropriate if you were staying a long time. A day or two worth of thank
you's is plenty." Balki holds Larry's hand against his heart and
says, "Thank you."
"Look,
you can stay a couple of days until you get a job," Larry explains,
"So, sit down, and help yourself to the goodies." Larry walks
over and sits down on the chair next to the couch with Balki following close
behind. When Larry sits in the chair, Balki sits on the arm of the chair.
Larry motions for Balki to take a seat on the couch "Over there,"
which Balki does. "What this?" Balki asks, motioning to the
pitcher. "That's pink lemonade," Larry explains. "You
have pink lemons?" Balki asks in wonder, "Only in America!"
Balki then discovers the potato chip bag and cries, "Potato crumbs, my
favorite!" He easily rips the bag open, offering some to Larry, which
Larry motions away. Larry then picks up the remote and turns on the
television set. Balki eyes the screen with surprise, gasping, "Color
TV!" "Yeah, haven't you ever seen color TV before?" Larry
asks. "Of course I have, don’t be ridiculous!" Balki lies,
then follows this with a stunned reaction to seeing "Blue!"
"On second
thought, I've seen all these colors," Larry sighs, standing up and handing
Balki the remote, "Green and red are going to be on later, you might want
to stay up and watch. I think I'll just hit the sack." "I
think I'll just hit the sack," Balki mimics, then looks worried, saying,
"I don't have a sack." "Well, you can sleep on the
couch," Larry explains, "it turns into a bed." Balki eyes
the couch with surprise then says, "Of course it does, this is America!
And don't worry about me, tomorrow I get a job very fast. I'm a
professional." "Well, then you shouldn't have a problem,"
Larry agrees, "What's your profession?" "I'm a professional
sheepherder!" Balki says proudly, not noticing Larry's look of concern as
he heads to bed.
The next scene opens in the Ritz Discount
Store, a place that sells second-hand and used merchandise at discounted prices.
Larry works in the store for Mr. Twinkacetti (whom we will learn in a later
episode is also Larry’s landlord, as the Ritz is located on
the corner of the apartment building where the boys live). Larry is busy
opening the store as Balki looks through the want ads in the newspaper.
"This is crazy!" Balki comments, "A big city like Chicago, there
is not one single advertisement in here for a sheepherder."
"That's the way it goes," Larry comments, "last week there were
pages of 'em. What else do you do?" "I am a
sheepherder," Balki says, "My father was a sheepherder, my grandfather
was a sheepherder, the little baby . . . . " "I get the
picture," Larry stops him, "But you know, in America you don't always
get what you want right away. For example, I want to be a photojournalist
but then I've taken this job to pay the bills. You'll have to take a job
until an untended flock pops up." The phone rings and Larry picks it
up, answering, "Hello, the Ritz. What? Yeah, Susan, calm down.
Well, it's only a mouse, they're cute. Think of Mickey. Mickey
wouldn't try to run up your leg. Okay, okay, okay, I'll be right up."
Larry
hangs up and heads for the door, telling Balki, "I have to run upstairs and
protect Susan's legs from rodents. Balki, I want you to do me a big
favor." Before Larry can even finish, Balki runs to the cash
register, exclaiming happily, "You want me to watch the store?"
Balki keeps pushing the button to open the cash register and Larry keeps
shutting the drawer closed, then finally pulls Balki away. "I want
you to watch the store," Larry explains, "Don't move, just stand
there. Can you do that?" "You're not exactly pushing me to
my outer limits," Balki says. "Stand there," Larry directs,
heading for the front door. Balki tries to reach around behind him to push
the cash register button again but Larry turns, saying, "Ah!" to stop
him, then when Balki stands still again Larry adds, "That's the idea!"
Larry hurries out the door.
A
male customer who has been walking around the store stops at a chair and calls
to Balki, "Uh, excuse me, I'm interested in this chair. Well, how
much is it?" Balki starts in that direction then remembers he can't
move. "What the price tag says," Balki answers. The man
looks at the price tag with a sneer and says, "Well, uh . . . you don't go
by what the price tag says, do ya?" "Of course not, don't be
ridiculous!" Balki answers, then asks, "What do you go by?"
Sensing that Balki has no idea what he's doing the man says, "We'll
negotiate! You are the head man here, aren't you?" "Of
course I am!" Balki smiles, "Come over here to me." Off the
man's confused look Balki explains, "I'm not allowed to move."
Some time later Balki is dusting around
the store, singing "What's Love Got to Do With It?" as he dances with
the feather duster. Larry returns and walks over to watch Balki as he
makes his way around and starts dusting Larry's behind, not realizing it's him.
"Cousin Larry, don't you notice anything different?" Balki asks
proudly. "No," Larry answers. "Look!
Look!" Balki urges, motioning
to Larry's right but Larry doesn't look so Balki finally turns his head for him,
saying, "Look! I sold that chair and that fan and that brass coat
rack!" "You did?" Larry asks with surprise. "All
without moving!" Balki adds. "Well, that's great!" Larry
says happily. "Needless to say, Cousin Larry, I think I've been
wasting my time poking animals up the hill with a stick!" Balki pulls
some bills out of his vest pocket, announcing, "And heeere's the
money!" Larry goes to the cash register to put it away then stops,
saying, "There's $45. That was a couple hundred dollars worth of
stuff. Where's the rest?" "That's it!" Balki smiles.
"Well, there were price tags on that stuff," Larry points out.
"You don't go by what's on the price tag!" Balki scoffs.
"You don't?" Larry asks with worry. "Of course not, don't
be ridiculous! I barter like we do at the marketplace on Mypos!"
"Balki, don't you realize what you've done to me?" Larry asks.
"Yes, and you're welcome," Balki says, "You know, I think I
should look for a job as a salesperson!" "Well, stick
around," Larry smirks, "When Twinkacetti fires me you can apply for my
job!"
The
second act begins where the first act ended, except Larry is now leaning
forlornly over the cash register. "Cousin Larry? Cousin
Larry?" Balki tries, then finally lifts Larry's head by the hair,
"Cousin Larry! I'm so sorry! Oh po po po! Maybe Mr.
Twinkacetti won't notice these things are missing." "But you
sold his hat rack," Larry sighs, motioning toward the door where it used to
stand, "Every day the first thing he does when he comes in is put his hat
on that rack." Just at that moment Mr. Twinkacetti enters, moaning,
"Same damn thing every day . . . sunlight . . . it gets old." As
Mr. Twinkacetti is complaining, Larry moves behind him and picks up a cane which
he holds up to take the place of the hat rack. Without looking, Mr.
Twinkacetti takes his hat off and passes it over his over his head where it
lands on the cane. Larry gives a sigh of relief as Twinkacetti walks away
without noticing anything odd.
Mr. Twinkacetti walks to the cash register
and starts to get some money out, then notices Balki standing on the other side.
"Buy something
or get out," Twinkacetti orders, then asks, "Where's the yo-yo?"
He turns to see Larry still standing at the doorway. "Hi, Mr.
Twinkacetti," Larry smiles, "Rotten day, isn't it?"
"Why are you standing there holding my hat on a stick?" Twinkacetti
asks. "Well, uh . . . technically, uh . . . it's a cane," Larry
shows. "Well, uh . . . technically, uh . . . you're a jerk!"
Twinkacetti snaps, "Where's my hat rack?" "Mr. Twinkacetti,"
Balki calls, despite Larry desperately motioning not to say anything, "I
sold it." "Who are you?" Twinkacetti demands.
"My name is Balki. I'm Larry's cousin. Philo, my fifth . . . .
" "Who cares?" Twinkacetti asks, "Why's he selling
stuff?" "Well, you wanna hear a funny story?" Larry asks.
"No," Twinkacetti says curtly, "Where's my money?"
Larry hands him the cash Balki received and Twinkacetti counts it.
"Forty five bucks? That hat rack was solid brass. Where's the
other thirty?" "That was my mistake!" Balki explains,
"But to make it up I won't charge you for the hour I worked."
"What a swell guy!" Mr. Twinkacetti smiles sarcastically, "I want
the rest of my money!"
"Mr. Twinkacetti, he doesn't have
it," Larry explains. "But I could pay you back if you give me a
job!" Balki tries, "I can fix things!" "Who
cares?" Twinkacetti sighs. "You can fix things?" Larry asks
with surprise. "Why not? Im young!" Balki answers.
"Well, actually,
you know, if you fixed up some of the used things you take in you could sell it
for more money!" Larry says to Twinkacetti, "It's a good idea!"
"If I want to hear a good idea I'll go to a smarter source than you . . .
like a wedge of cheese!" Twinkacetti says. "I can fix
anything!" Balki insists, "Once my grandmother broke her little finger
into silly putty. It just hung there all limp and dangly. And if I
came up and did that . . . " He motions flicking it with his finger,
" . . . it would flip around like the tassels on a belly dancer. And
she would say to me, 'Balki . . . don't do that.' And I said, 'You give me
that, this what we do . . . we take some nice mud and we make a cast and dry in
the hot sun' and six months later I took off the cast and . . . what do you
think? The finger is no more limp and dangly. It won't bend at all!
It just sticks out like a nail in a board." Twinkacetti ponders then
a moment then declares, "I like that story! Now get out of
here!" "Mr. Twinkacetti, give him a chance," Larry asks,
"How else can he pay you back?" "All right, all right, I'll
give him like a little test," Twinkacetti agrees, pushing past them to an
old radio. "Let's see, ah ha! Fix this old radio and he's got a
job!" "Now that's not fair," Larry protests, "That
radio probably hasn't worked for forty years!" "Take it or leave
it," Twinkacetti says. "He'll take it," Larry agrees, then
asks Balki, "Can you fix it?" "Of course I can," Balki
says, "It's probably just the picture tube."
Later that evening, Larry and Susan are in
Larry's apartment playing Scrabble. Larry puts down some points, saying,
"There you go . . . fifteen points." Susan looks at Larry's word
and reaches for a dictionary, saying, "Mypos? I challenge that."
"Mypos is a real
country," Larry explains, "I have a little corner of it growing on my
dining room table." He points to the table where many of Balki's
possessions are sitting. Balki enters the apartment, looking tired.
"Cousin, I need to take a break. I never knew fixing a radio could be
so quiet." Larry and Susan stand up and Larry introduces her.
"Susan, this is the cousin I was telling you about. Balki, meet
Susan. She's our neighbor." Susan holds her hand out to Balki,
saying, "Hi, nice to meet you." Balki stares at Susan in wonder,
then asks, "Would it be impolite to ask if I could be your slave for
life?" Susan laughs nervously and sits down, answering, "Well,
uh . . . I think that's illegal." She then comments, "Oh, he's
cute." "This cute Mediterranean boy means every groveling
word," Balki continues, getting down on his knees at her feet, "Take
me and do with me as you will." Larry grabs Balki and pulls him up
and pushes him to the door, saying, "You're embarrassing Susan. Stand
up, act like a man, go work on the radio." "Can I take her with
me?" Balki asks, moving toward Susan again, but Larry turns Balki around
answering "No!"
Balki swings around and heads across the
room, stepping over the back of the couch as he throws himself at Susan's feet
again. "Then I take you in my heart, American goddess. I want
to worship your painted toenails." Larry grabs him again, herding him
to the
door and scolding, "Just leave with whatever little dignity you have left.
Come on. Go!" "It's nice to meet you, too!" Susan
calls. Balki tries to move toward her but Larry holds on to his suspenders
and flings him out the front door, shutting it behind him. Balki pops back
in and sighs, "I can die happy now!" "Right," Larry
sighs and Balki leaves. "He grovels great!" Susan exclaims.
"Sorry," Larry says as he sits back down on the couch, "Now I
understand why he doesn't have a crease in his pants." "Oh, he's
sweet," Susan says, "You know, I hope he gets the job."
"Susan, they haven't even made parts for that radio in forty years,"
Larry points out. "Then he doesn't have a chance?" Susan sighs.
"Well, I didn't say that," Larry corrects her as he reaches for a
small radio on the end table, "See, Balki doesn't know it but I'm gonna
slip this little baby in that big ol' radio and at the proper moment, click . .
. Dance Fever. Twinkacetti'll never know the difference."
"That's sneaky!" Susan smiles. "I know," Larry agrees,
"I'm very proud!"
The next morning Larry arrives at the Ritz
and sees Balki has fallen asleep in a chair. Larry places the small radio
inside the big one just before Mr. Twinkacetti comes in. "Good
morning, cheers and top of the day!" Twinkacetti says happily as he enters.
"Well,
you're in a good mood," Larry notes. "And why not?"
Twinkacetti asks, "Last night all my horse accounts paid off and today I
get to laugh in a man's face. Sounds like a good day to me! Go for
it, sport!" Larry awakes Balki gently and Balki opens his eyes and
looks up, smiling, "Good morning, America!" "Hey, grape
leaf, turn on the radio," Twinkacetti orders. "I fell asleep
before I got to test it," Balki explains, walking to the radio with Larry,
"but it'll work . . . Balki fixed it." "You know it'll
work," Larry agrees, walking smugly to Twinkacetti, "And I know it'll
work, but you don't. And that's why this is gonna be so much fun.
You are gonna be so embarrassed when that radio . . . . "
"Cousin Larry, what this?" Balki asks, holding up the small radio he's
found in the bigger one. Larry looks frustrated as he takes the small
radio from Balki and Twinkacetti smirks at him. "Feeble! Boy,
that was feeble!" Twinkacetti smiles, "And you didn't think I'd catch
on!" He laughs a moment then demands, "Turn it on!"
"All right," Balki says, holding a hand over his ear, "Make
yourself ready."
Balki switches on the radio and the store
is immediately filled with rocking music that blares amazingly loud.
Everyone has to back
away, holding their hands to their ears as the sound starts to shatter all the
glass pieces displayed around the store. Pottery, vases and figures break
into a million pieces that fly everywhere. Finally Balki runs over to turn
off the radio and everyone stands stunned until Larry and Twinkacetti start to
cry "You did it!" and Balki joins in with "I did it!" as he
hops around. "Look at this place, it looks like Ella Fitzgerald gave
a concert!" Larry exclaims. "I don't believe it!"
Twinkacetti gasps, "That radio never sounded that good brand new!"
A customer who witnessed the whole thing cries, "What a great sound!
How much you want for it?" Balki cries, "Three hundred!" as
Larry cries, "Four hundred!" Twinkacetti growls to shut up both
of them. "Five hundred bucks," he answers. "You got
it!" the customer says, pulling out some cash, "Here's a fifty dollar
deposit and I'll go get my truck!" He hurries from the store.
Mr. Twinkacetti takes Balki aside, asking,
"Can you fix any radio?" "Does Telly Savalas love you
baby?" Balki asks in return. "My friend!
My pal! These fingers!" Mr. Twinkacetti gushes, kissing Balki's
fingers on his right hand, "You not only have a job here . . . "
Balki raises his left hand and Twinkacetti kisses those fingers as well, "
. . . I'll even pay you . . . minimum wage . . . shhh!" He looks back
to Larry as if he's giving Balki some great deal. He then turns to address
both of them. "Uh, boys, put this little goldmine out for our
customer to pick up. On second thought, uh pinhead, do it yourself . . .
" he says to Larry, " . . . we wouldn't want magic fingers here to
accidentally hurt his hands." Twinkacetti goes to the cash register
as Balki says, "Oh Cousin Larry. I help you anyway."
"Thank you," Larry says. "Of course," Balki sighs,
"I tell you where to put everything." He motions to the radio,
"This goes right there . . . " Balki then motions to some other
newer and fancier equipment behind it, " . . . and then we have this
amplifier to go on top, and then when you move these two big speakers please be
careful because they're expensive." Realizing what's happened, Larry
and Mr. Twinkacetti look shocked. "You
. . . you uh . . . you hooked all that stuff up to that radio?"
Twinkacetti asks. "Of course, how else you going to make it work?
It was broke," Balki answers. "Mr. Twinkacetti, something just
occurred to me," Larry sighs. "I just sold a thousand bucks
worth of equipment for five hundred?" Twinkacetti cries. "Damn,
it occurred to you, too," Larry sighs.
Twinkacetti turns on Larry with a
vengeance. "You! You brought him here! This is all your
fault! You got your walking papers, buster!" Twinkacetti runs
into his office and slams the door. Larry turns to Balki and says,
"Well, I hope you're happy." "Thank you," Balki says
nicely, "I hope you're happy, too." "Happy?" Larry
moans, "Getting fired does not make me happy!"
"Fired?" Balki asks with surprise, "He just gave you official
papers to take a nice walk." "That's American for fired!"
Larry explains, "It's a colorful language, isn't it?"
"What?" Balki asks, "He cannot do to you what is my fault!"
Balki starts for Twinkacetti's office, calling his name. Larry tries to
stop him but Balki holds up his hand, determined
to continue. "You come out here right now, you unfair person, and I
mean maybe!" Balki calls, banging on Twinkacetti's office door.
Twinkacetti emerges, looking incensed. He starts toward Balki but Balki
holds up his hand to stop the man before he gets too close. "You have
something to say before I pull your tongue out through your nose?"
Twinkacetti asks.
"You can't fire Larry!" Balki
insists, "He's a good person! And if he goes, I go!"
"That goes without saying!" Twinkacetti sneers, pointing to the front
door, "Now I want to see heels going that way!" "Not until
I get a few things off my neck!" Balki continues, "You don't know what
kind of good fellow you dumping to the birds! He was always loyal to you,
he make everything perfect for you and you won't find anyone to do better!
His only mistake was to be good friend to me. But the customer likes him
and that's why they come back! And if you let this good person walk out that
door you're makin' one big mistake, ghost buster!" Mr. Twinkacetti
looks unimpressed, so Larry starts to walk away saying, "Thanks but you're
wasting your time, Balki, come on." They start to leave when
Twinkacetti says, "Wait a minute," and steps between them, "Wait
a minute . . . I was just thinking about what the turnip said here and uh . . .
well, I'd be stupid to let either one of you guys walk out that door.
You're both hired again." "We are?" Larry asks excitedly,
then grows suspicious, asking, "Why?" "Don't be ridiculous,
it's because he sees we're both good persons," Balki offers.
"Yes . . . no!" Twinkacetti corrects him, "Because I see you're
both out of work persons. And if you're not working I can't take ten
dollars a week out of your salary to pay for the stereo stuff and the hat rack
and all of this mess! Gentlemen . . . and turnip . . . welcome to the
wonderful world of being in debt." Twinkacetti laughs all the way
back to his office. "Am I in debt?" Balki asks Larry.
"Yep," Larry answers. Balki is thrilled. "I’m a
true American!"
"Well, Balki, you got us our jobs
back," Larry comments. "Well, where I come from family sticks
together," Balki explains, "Isn't this
just like America? Another happy ending!" "Yeah,"
Larry agrees. "We're buddies!" "Yeah."
"We're working together!" "Yeah." "We're
roommates!" "We have to talk," Larry begins seriously.
"Now you see, you couldn't have this talk if you lived alone," Balki
points out, "You need me. And this may surprise you but I need you
to. You saved my life. You took me in." "Well, it is
nice to have somebody to talk to," Larry admits, "You're welcome to
stay until you can afford a place of your own." "No problem!
I have a job now that pays minimum wage . . . sssh!! As soon as I pay back
Twinkletoes and put my whole family through college I'm gone like a bird!"
"Balki . . . do you have any idea how much minimum wage is?" Larry
asks. "Of course I do, don’t be ridiculous!" Balki assures
him. The framework is set . . . the cousins will obviously be living
together for some time to come.
Background
information: In early 1986 when Tom Miller and Bob Boyett were offered
the time-slot of 8:30 p.m., Tuesday nights on ABC between the hugely popular
shows Who's the Boss? and Moonlighting, they couldn't refuse.
But this meant ramping up production of their new series into super-overdrive.
According to the September 27, 1986 issue of TV Guide, Joel Zwick explained the
situation. "The cast assembled for the first time one morning, and
three weeks later that show was on the air. We were often dubbing Tuesday
shows on Monday afternoons. One show was on the air a week after the first
reading."
In the same article Lise Cutter, who plays
Susan, was quoted as saying of Pinchot, "He's insane. But that's OK.
He makes up all those crazy movements - all those antics. He adlibbed
'Don't be ridiculous' one day and it became part of the show."
As a mid-season replacement the show
received a lot of buzz and word of mouth from the start. It did well in
the ratings and garnered good reviews. But mostly it clicked with the
right audience at the right time. Only six episodes were made for that
initial time slot but the series was renewed for the fall and would be moved to
Wednesday to launch that night's programs (which shows the network executives
had a lot of faith in the series at the time).
Continue
on to the next episode . . .
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